Okay…this was just a random idea that came to me today, and I liked it so much that I just had to share it with you guys. ^_^. Don't worry about muse convos, I got Amarant to lock them ( i.e. Flint and Kindle ) behind my door, so I'm safe…for now.

Amarant: …

And Amarant never talks much at all, so we're good for some good ol' humor I say ol' chaps.

Disclaimer: Ookami MX does in fact not own Golden Sun. He also doesn't own the various villains who shall show up in this lil' fic; said villains belong to their respected owners. Please, don't sue. I'll give you a cookie if you don't!!

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Today was not a good day for one Alex of Imil. So far, he had destroyed several villages, wiped out several endangered species, stepped on a few bugs, and littered. Why, you ask?

They had rejected him.

Again.

For the fifth time in a row.

But, who are "they", you might ask? "They" are the Evil Overlords of Evil, an organization formed by several Very Bad Men who were becoming quite lonely over the years. After all, living in your Evil Overlord Lair gets rather, well, lonely and boring. The Evil Overlords doubles as a society for villains with problems such as Hero Eradication 101, the Art of the Evil Laugh, and Dastardly Plans Honors. Only the most elite Evil Overlords – the crème de la crème – were accepted into the highest ranks of the society, and become Evil Overlords of Evil.

Naturally, Alex was frustrated.

He slammed his fist down on his trailer desk in fury. "Why do they keep rejecting me?! I'm evil enough, aren't I?"

"Perhaps you're just trying too hard, Ali," said a voice.

"I told you not to call me that, Saturos."

Indeed, from out of the convenient shadows of Alex's trailer emerged Saturos, in all his bishy glory. Now, you all must be thinking he's dead. He is, or er, was. The power of fanfiction has many benefits, you know. But enough of that.

Alex sat down in his desk, and entered the Gendo Position.* "I simply don't understand it, Saturos. What am I doing wrong?!"

"Perhaps you're just not evil enough?"

Alex shot him a glare. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm far more evil than that Seymour fellow, wouldn't you agree?"

"True. I don't really see him as evil."

Alex rose from his seat again. "Of course he isn't. He's a pedophile*."

"…oh."

Alex sighed, and proceeded to walk to his trailer exit, muttering various inaudible curses.

Saturos turned to his former cohort and good friend, "Shall I arrange a meeting with the Evil Overlords, then?"

Alex nodded, and promptly shut the trailer door in dramatic fashion.

All was silent in the trailer until finally,

"Premadonna."

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Through Saturos's good charm ( and rabid fangirl backing ), he was able to convince the Evil Overlords of Evil to meet with Alex in order to discuss the situation. The Evil Overlords promised that they would send 5 of their members to discuss the problem with Alex, and Alex alone.

So here was our blue-haired Alchemy-powered wonder, who just happened to randomly be poofed into some Dark and Scary place. Once again, the power of fanfiction has no limits. But enough of that.

"Um…hi." Said Alex, in a very un-evil way.

The sound of a raspy breath filled his ears, as the first of the 5 delegates entered his line of sight, clad in black and silver armor. The Dark Lord, Sauron, thought Alex, Pssh. He's nothing. I mean, he's got that jewelry obsession. How much stupider can you get?!

The second of the delegates stood beside Sauron, red snake-like eyes clashing with its grey skin. And Lord Voldemort, as well, thought Alex, again, big whoooooop. My Alchemic powers could easily wipe the floor with his arcane magic.

The third of the delegates stood beside Voldemort, orange-tinted glasses somehow mysteriously - and yet cliché at the same time - glowing, and un-tamed dark-brown hair loomed before him. So, they brought Gendo Ikari, the Bastard King*, with them as well? thought Alex.

Turning his head past Gendo, Alex saw the fourth delegate, who was also clad in black and silver, with flowing silvery-white hair. And Sephiroth too? Crap. I don't need someone else cutting in on my bishounen abilities.

But the fifth and final delegate was the one that filled Alex's heart with dread and despair, and all that other fun stuff. For it was he, the creator of the Blue Screen of Death, inventor and owner of Windows, and multi-billionaire who stood next to Sephiroth. Bill Gates, evil incarnate itself. Alex resisted the urge to puke on his tunic.

It was Sauron who cleared his throat and pulled out a very fancy – yet Evil – looking document from his trousers. He cleared his throat, and his raspy – yet Evil – voice rang throughout Alex's ears. "So, Mr. Alex, it seems that you are not satisfied with our decision of declining your application to the Evil Overlords? Repeatedly?"

Alex nodded, courage and charisma quickly returning to him, as long as he didn't have to look at, listen to, or think of Bill Gates.

"Why?" hissed Voldemort.

"Well," started Alex, "I think you made a mistake."

"Oh?" said Sauron.

"Yes. Clearly, I have the ambition, charisma, respect – from fangirls, anyway – in order to be considered an Evil Overlord."

"Bzzt! That's Bull!" shouted Sephiroth, "Ambition is a good thing, yes, as is charisma. But, respect isn't necessarily factor in as a requirement for the applications."

"Exactly. Look at Gendo." Hissed Voldemort.

Gendo just went into complete Bastard Mode, and stared our intrepid hero – er, villain – down. "The information you sent us is irrelevant. Not all of us are bishounens, cool and calculating, or just downright vain."

Sauron nodded, "Agreed."

"But…" Alex stammered, "Surely you all must reconsider my application!"

Then, to his horror, Bill Gates spoke, "We told you. Being a bishounen is not a quality most of the Evil Overlords would want – unless you're cool, like Sephy here. Second, respect isn't necessary at all. Look at our local Bastard King, Gendo."

"I resent that." came Gendo's cold remark.

"In any case," said Sauron, "you lack certain qualities the Evil Overlords require."

"Like what?!" screamed Alex, "I absorbed the power of the Golden Sun, thus making me virtually unstoppable! Isn't that worth something?!"

Voldemort blinked. "Um…that isn't evil…that's just being power-hungry."

Alex blinked in turn. "Pardon?"

Gendo stared at the Mercury Adept. "Did you ever do anything with this Alchemy power of yours?"

Silence.

The five delegates went into a huddle. When they emerged, they all began asking various questions.

"Did you attempt to permanently damage the planet and become all-powerful?"

"Did you try to steal back your precioussssss and gain the power needed to conquer the world?"

"Did you every try defeating the one person who stands in your way to power?"

"Were you ever going to eradicate humanity?"

"Was your plan to become a rich and powerful and make a program that's highly annoying?"

All were met with silence.

"I see…" said Sauron. "Well, Mr. Alex, we're willing to compromise. You have at least two weeks to use your power of Alchemy to conquer this world you call Weyard, or do some other Very Evil Thing. Failure will result in permanent rejection from the Evil Overlords of Evil, as well as a revoking of your villain license. Have a nice day!"

And in a puff of magic – yet Evil – smoke, the five delegates disappeared.

Alex slammed his fist down on the conveniently placed table ( brought to you by the power of fanfiction ) and his brow furrowed in fury.

"No matter what it takes…" he started, "…I will become an Evil Overlord, I swear it!!!

And in the confines of Alex's trailer, Saturos, who was reading "I Was Evil but Really Good Monthy", simply blinked and stated:

"Premadonna."

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*(1) – this comes from Video Game Recaps, who stated that Seymour Guado had some pedophilic qualities for obviously having an interest in Summoner Yuna, who is at least 10 years younger than him.

*(2) – the honorary and unofficial title given to Gendo Ikari by Evangelion fans and fanatics.