Dinah blinked and found herself back at the warehouse her hand clasped over her mom's, Helena's and the knife handle. She slipped her hand off and felt strangely self-conscious almost naked. She knew there was no way she could explain away her presence here. But an inner voice told her that she had set out to do this so that she could stop explaining things away. She was here, because she wanted in.
Her eyes glanced over at Ketterly, who was still lying on his ass with a very vacant look in his eyes. While her mom looked at the wound on Helena's chest, she slipped over and waved a hand in front of the business man. She snapped her fingers and looked over at her mom. "I guess, when you killed him in your mind that part of his mind that was over there died as well," her mom told Helena, who had obviously uttered the question she had been about to ask.
"What do we do with him?" She asked. Her mom looked over and Dinah inwardly winced at the raging emotions apparently in her eyes.
"I round them all up and try to pass them to the police with a minimum of fuss. We could a bit more evidence against them though," Helena replied and got up.
Dinah took a step forward and said, "I've investigated the docks and Ketterly has papers and stuff down in the Joker's old hideout. I could go fetch it." She saw her mom's confused look change to anger.
"I think I can find the way," Helena said and headed downstairs immediately. Dinah looked uncomfortably over at her mom, who seemed to be regarding her in silence. Over a minute passed in this uncomfortable silence.
"What did you think you were doing?" Her mom asked in a low voice.
Dinah considered not for the first time to give her mom some kind of vague answer and maybe dodge the discussion, but the same parts of her soul that had allowed her to charge these criminals made her speak the truth. "I was solving the case," she said.
"Have you lost your mind? I told you to stay out of this. I don't want you to be involved ever… You've broken my trust," her mom said.
Dinah seethed. "I… have… broken nothing. We haven't trusted each other for a long time. I don't know you any more. You spend your time being a person you insist I cannot know and then you attack me when I try to be apart of that life. And the worst part is that I don't even want to do this to be with you. I want to be a hero for myself. You don't see me, mom. You don't understand me at all. You think I am still that little sweet Dinah from before you got shot. Well I am not. I have changed. I have chosen to change. I am a trained martial artist. Did you know that? I have been taking intense Krav Maga classes since the hostage taking. I have barely seen the inside of my music school. I have been training my metahuman abilities with people Gibson has put me in contact with. What makes you think you can even stop me from doing what I have decided to do?" She stared into her mother's eyes feeling both relieved and apprehensive at the same time as she waited for the reaction.
"Go home, I will deal with you later," her mom said in a cold tone.
"But…" Dinah hadn't expected this. She had expected screaming or even anger, but not this coldness.
"Just go," her mom commanded and turned to see Helena walk up with her arms full of papers and things from Ketterly's desk downstairs. Dinah decided that she could make her case just as well at home and she turned to head out.
Helena was following Barbara's car towards the Clocktower. They had just dropped off Ketterly and his goons at the police station leaving the hastily put together evidence with the catatonic business man and his two well beaten henchmen. Dinah had really one of them up. She was sure that he would be spending some time in hospital prison term or no prison term.
Barbara had been very tense ever since she had sent Dinah back home. It had been quite a surprise the teen had pulled there. She had heard the end of the girl and her mom's conversation and it seemed that Dinah had really pulled out all the stops starting her own junior hero training program. Actually some of the details made a lot of the girl's bottled up and secretive behavior make a lot of sense. She marveled at her dedication. Dinah had seen evil up close, she had considered her background and it seemed Dinah had then chosen the way in life she felt she should follow.
Helena slowly let the car roll to a stop and shut off the engine. She stared out onto the white wall of the underground garage of the Clocktower thinking about Dinah and what she was sure would follow. Barbara was bordering on a violent explosion of temper. But Helena decided that she for once wasn't going to be a bystander. Dinah didn't deserve it. She deserved to get all the help and support she could get. Helena suddenly realized that she considered Dinah family on a level that she hadn't consciously been aware off before. And she realized that even though she cared for her, she cared for her enough to want the girl to follow her own path in life.
She walked almost dazedly toward the waiting elevator and Barbara sitting impatiently in her wheelchair inside it. She was still formulating her thoughts, but she knew that tonight her relationship with her mentor might change for good. The elevator doors closed in front of her.
Barbara could see Dinah pacing just as soon as she drove off the elevator and into her home and lair. Delphi was humming in front of her. Here she felt stronger; here she might be able to find the strength to win the battle of wills that was sure to come now.
Dinah turned towards her and Barbara could see the same defiance that she had glimpsed in her daughter at the docks. Not for the first time she wondered how little she knew her daughter. As Dinah had revealed to her, she knew very little about her daughter's true nature. For years it seemed Dinah had practiced and trained to become exactly what she had always wanted her not to become. Dinah had lied, tricked and cheated her again and again apparently to follow her stated goal in life and it proved a dedication that a true hero needed…
But she was not about to give in to that. Images of Dinah fighting, images of Dinah coming home bleeding or even worse of Dinah suffering the same fate as one of the Robins flashed through her mind as soon as she thought that thought. She had sworn seven years ago that she would protect her daughter from evil that she would do her utmost to shield her for that world. Two years ago she had almost lost her again to evil and she had been reaffirmed in her beliefs and dedication. Still doubts plagued her, doubts like those she felt now. Was she right in preventing something that her daughter had fought so hard for? Had she already lost her? She didn't know, but she still decided to confront her daughter anyway.
"So," she said not knowing exactly what she wanted to say first. She was furious, but she knew it was just as much surprise as disappointment over her daughter not following her commands.
"So what, I've told you time and again what I want. I want you to train me like you did Helena. I want to be a hero like you two are," her daughter replied.
She couldn't help studying the tall proud blonde stature of her daughter. Every day she was reminded a bit of Carolyn's fierce and proud stature when she saw her daughter, but there was also the quieter and softer side that she believed came from some part of her daughter's father. Her behavior, her culture came all from her though. She had shaped Dinah to what she was today. She had long ago admitted to herself even if she would never reveal this secret that this conversation would come. She thought about her life as a hero, she thought of the cost and the benefits. She thought about the sacrifices she had made for the greater good and she thought that her decision to not give over her daughter to this greater good was still valid. "Never," she answered.
"Fuck," Dinah cursed and threw up her arms. "What does it take to convince you that I can do this?" Her daughter explained. Barbara was about to tell her as so often before that it was about ability if it had been she would have begun teaching her long ago. It was about the future and about costs. It was about feelings amongst those the ones Dinah had hurt today.
"I don't want any convincing. This isn't a discussion, Dinah. This is a sentencing if you will. You have stayed out long after your curfew. You've involved yourself in an investigation and you've lied to me for years… about several things. I can barely stand to look in your eyes right now. How can I ever trust you again? How can I ever accept a promise or word you give me? For all I know you'd break any one of them the second it was in your interest. I thought I had brought up a child that could be trusted, that could make adult decisions. But it turns out that I haven't," she explained pouring out all her hurt feelings over Dinah's long term betrayal of her trust.
"Don't you dare turn this around and make it my fault! I had to do these things. Where would you… this city have been if Bruce Wayne had you as a guardian? What would have happened to this world if Superman had been brought up by you? With power comes responsibility. But if you're Barbara's daughter you can't be allowed to care about the world and take responsibility, because you may get hurt. We only care about the problems about others if they don't endanger my daughter. You're the biggest hypocrite ever," Dinah turned and walked off towards her room.
"Don't you dare run away from me? You're grounded, Dinah. Do you hear me? You're grounded and that is not the last of it," she yelled to make sure her daughter heard her. She sat there for a while in her chair. The feeling of presence that always surrounded Helena told her that her protégé was waiting impatiently somewhere close for her chance to get a word in edgewise. However instead of a conversation about Dinah it was about the case they had just finished and for a while they looked at details on Delphi.
The night made New Gotham looked almost quiet and serene from the platform in from of the clock. Helena looked out over the towering buildings and the sprawl that surrounded them. Barbara sat in silence and stared unseeing into the night. She didn't have to wonder what she was thinking about. They had gone out to spend the last moments before she left out here as they had done so often before, but instead of exchanging words and anecdotes it had turned into a game of painful silences. "She saved us today," she said deciding finally to speak her mind.
Barbara blinked and turned her head to look at her. "What does that have to do with anything?" She replied.
"Everything to me and maybe nothing to you, it proves to me that she is capable of things that I didn't think her capable off. She is much more dedicated than I thought she could be. Think about it, she has trained on her own for years now. She had followed through with a plan even when it was opposed by the both of us. She has strength of character that I can only be envious off," she explained.
"Yes, but I can't allow her to become what she thinks she wants to be," Barbara said and turned her head back to look out over the skyline.
But she didn't want to let the conversation end there; she needed to make Barbara understand as she understood now. If they didn't train Dinah, Dinah would do it on her own. They owed it to Dinah to train her, to give her all the means she needed to be safe on the job, instead of impeding her. "I think you're blind to the fact here. It no longer matters what you think she should do or not. You have already lost this battle Barbara. You taught her to be strong and make up her own mind. You can only support her or you will lose her more than you already have," she said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Barbara said and turned wheelchair and all towards her. She knew she had the complete and angry attention of her friend now.
"College and independence isn't too far away Barbara. Every day you stand in the way of Dinah's goals in life you're making her angrier, you're pushing her farther away. In the end you might just end up getting a postcard every once in a while or following her exploits on TV. I think Dinah isn't going to give up on this. She has already sacrificed too much, lived in this world too long for this change. If you had sent her away years ago then maybe, but then she would have had reason to hate you for real. My point is that no matter if you want it or not. Dinah is going to be the hero she wants to be. If we don't train her then she'll do it on her own. Maybe that won't be good enough, maybe that will mean that she won't be ready when she meets a real villain. Then we'll regret not having been there, not having taken hand in her training," she explained.
"Dinah will listen too me. She has to. I can't let her get involved Helena. She will get hurt one day. What would I do? If she dies or ends up like me, I wouldn't be able to take it. I won't allow her to walk blindly into danger if it can be avoided. I may not be able to protect her forever, but I will for as long as she is here with me. We won't train her. Nobody who knows me or owes me will be allowed to," Barbara's eyes and body language seethed as she tried to bring her point across.
"Don't you see that it won't matter, what you do. It hasn't mattered for years… If you won't train her, I will," she said.
"Not if you ever want to work with Oracle again," Barbara said in a threatening tone, which immediately made her bristle.
"You can't stop," she replied.
"You have no idea, what I could do to you," Barbara said. Helena saw the seriousness in Barbara's eyes and realized that her mentor meant those words and somewhere inside a bit of fear joined in her anger and made it worse.
Dinah paced around in her room. "It is not right. I want this. No matter if I am young or not, I am still much better prepared than anyone Batman trained or even Helena," she muttered to herself and stopped staring out the window into the night. She hated hitting that brick wall that was her mother again and again, but her mom just didn't want to understand. Maybe she should make her understand. Resolutely Dinah turned and headed out of her room.
Finding Delphi empty but glimpsing her mom and Helena talking animatedly out on the platform in from of the glass façade of the giant clock, she headed for the door leading out side. She heard Helena make the case on her behalf and felt a great sympathy for the woman. For years she had felt close to Helena, but still removed because of their differing schedules and the strict rules about mingling her life with the heroine's life. She decided to never regard Helena as just a visitor or interloper again. She heard her mom threaten Helena and saw in Helena's eyes the hurt and anger well up. Helena looked about ready to storm off or to punch her mom.
"Stop it," she yelled and walked over trying her best to gain the full attention of both her mom and Helena, "I don't want you to fight. Not over this. Not over me."
"Dinah, I don't want to talk to you right now. I told you, you're grounded. Now go to bed," her mom said in a dangerous tone that would have sent her packing if she had said it like that just a few days ago. But today after fighting for real, after doing her bit to protect those she loved, she couldn't let it control her.
"No, you can't push me around like that anymore. I am not nine anymore. I've grown up quick, living here, seeing your best friend die in front of you, seeing you two saving the city time and again did that. It is time for you to listen instead of commanding," she explained.
"As long as you're not legally an adult you'll do what I say," her mom said, and Dinah really hated doing what she had planned in her head to do next.
"Then make me stop, because I know just as well that you've more or less reduced my presence in this home to that of house guest or frequent visitor," she replied hating herself for pulling up painful subjects.
"Dinah, you… you… please… why won't you understand?" Her mom asked desperately. Dinah felt a glimmer of hope.
"Because you won't give me a reason to, you only command, you don't explain. Give me a good reason to not go on and I will consider it, but I can't promise more," she offered.
Her mom looked at her for a while with pain in her eyes. Dinah could see Helena pulling back maybe even preparing to leave, but she secretly wished the black haired heroine would stay. She felt reassured having someone who at least agreed with her staying around.
"Alright, I will try. I… When the Joker shot you, I sat at your sickbed. You were sleeping and then you started coughing. I could see the pain plainly in your face even in your sleep. I looked at myself at my loss and at what little good I had done and I swore that you should never suffer the same losses, go through more pain," her mom explained.
Dinah's mind whirled with thoughts. "Then you should never have taken me in," Helena pointed out, "You must have known that starting over. Training me to be a hero and running it all from here would sooner or later involve your metahuman daughter. Or didn't you want to realize it?"
Her mom gave Helena a pained look, but Dinah could see the wheels churning in her mom's head. She was making headway; she just needed to explain herself better. "Mom, you've always taught me to be strong to stand up for myself. And I have. But I have enough strength to stand up for others as well. Evil could strike any day at any time, if you agree to train me or not. If nothing else proves it then the hostage taking does. Sending me away wouldn't have changed nor would anything else. We all live in a world, where we can be affected by the decisions of someone else in a bad way. I am lucky. I have the chance to prevent others from suffering from being affected by evil. And I have long ago decided to do that in memory of all those I have lost like my mom, granddad and all those who died at the high school. Please understand I am not doing this with reason or thought. I have seen the losses and sacrifices this means. I have sacrificed myself already by lying to everyone I know for years, by manipulating people to protect my interest and by living far removed from the normal world around me. Still I want to become a heroine like you and Helena," she explained.
Her mom sat looking at her with tears in her eyes for a long while. "Why does it have to be so hard? Why did I have to waste so much of your life before I saw? I am so sorry Dinah. Of course I will train you, if you'll let me, if we can both trust each other again," her mom said.
Dinah tossed her reservations aside and enveloped her mom in a hug. Emotionally drained as she was, she couldn't prevent her mom's thoughts spilling over into hers at the touch, but she only felt genuine regret, sorrow and love in her thoughts. And for a moment she dared and projected her own emotions back to her mother.
"There will still be rules," her mom said, while they still hugged. Dinah couldn't help smiling at Helena, who was standing stoically off to the side.
"Of course, but as long they don't say I can't ever go out on patrol I won't mind," Dinah replied.
"They don't. I mean it. I want you to be honest with me. I promise to be honest with you as well," her mom said.
"Deal," Dinah said and watched her mom sit back down.
"And then there were three," Helena said dryly.