Title: Memento - part 3
Rating: R (Violence, Mild Language)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sam and Janet talk about the time Sam has missed, and Dr McKenzie gets involved.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Details: Angst, Jack/Janet, Hurt/Comfort, Sam/Teal'c friendship, Future Story
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld, Fanfiction.net
Memento - part 3
Copyright © Ruth, 2003
Sam left General Hammond's office with mixed feelings. He'd told her only that nothing of importance had happened since she'd been gone, and that he'd booked her an appointment with Dr McKenzie that afternoon. She got the distinct feeling that she was being avoided, as well, because on her journey to the office, the corridors had been conspicuously empty, though she knew very well that many officers were stationed there.
Her heart was beginning to ache. There was still no word from either Jack or Janet, and she was feeling increasingly left out. Hopefully, with Dr McKenzie's help, she would be able to remember what had happened to her, but until then nobody would tell her anything. What she missed most of all was Jack - she missed the way that he was able to make her laugh, able to relax her with just one sentence, able to make her smile with just the twinkle of his eyes. She knew that was something she probably wouldn't have again, and it broke her heart.
She opened the door of her lab and was surprised to see Janet inside, with her back to her.
"Janet?" she asked, wondering why she was there.
"Sam," Janet smiled, "Oh, God, it's so good to see you."
She came over to Sam and put her arms awkwardly around her. Sam accepted the hug, but when she tried to touch Janet she flinched under her hand and pulled away. Sam swallowed, and decided not to mention it.
"Why didn't you come and see me yesterday?" Sam asked, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.
"I was tired," Janet said, "I could barely keep my eyes open - I'm sorry, Sam, I just…"
Sam waved her hand in the air dismissively. "It's fine, Janet. You need rest, in your condition."
"Uh…yeah…about that," Janet began, knotting her hands together.
"Congratulations," Sam said, with a smile, "You'll make a great mother."
"Y-what? You really mean that?" Janet asked in disbelief.
"Of course I mean it," Sam replied, "I wouldn't have said it otherwise. You deserve it - both of you."
Janet's face fell again. "How did you…?"
"I saw you in the control room together, and then Teal'c told me. I don't know why everyone is making such a fuss, really," she lied. Inside, her heart was breaking.
"Oh, Sam, I'm so glad! I thought you'd be really mad, what with me…taking Jack away from you."
"Janet," Sam said softly, "He was never mine to lose."
"But I know that the two of you have always been close," Janet went on, "I feel so terrible…"
"Don't," Sam said reassuringly, "You and Jack deserve to be happy together. I hope you will be."
"Sam," Janet smiled tearfully, "Those words mean more to me than you will ever know."
"Come here," Sam said, pulling her friend into a gentle hug. As she felt Janet lean against her, a tear rolled out of one of her eyes. She swallowed, and forced back the tears that threatened to spill. Now was not the time to appear weak, sad, and desperate. Janet had actually come to her, and she wasn't about to ruin the moment.
"I'm sorry," Janet sniffed, "I keep crying all of the time, no reason at all…"
Sam smiled. "Don't worry about it. How far along are you?"
"Eight months," Janet said, "Nearly nine."
"Wow," Sam said, trying not to make her voice sound like a croak, "You're nearly there, Jan."
"Yeah," she said, standing up. "I'll see you soon, Sam," she smiled, leaving the room as quickly as she had entered.
As soon as Janet had gone, Sam closed the door behind her with a reassuring click. She took a deep breath, and gulped back a sob that threatened to come from her throat. She went over to her desk and sat down, feeling the familiar surface under her fingers. For a moment, she persuaded herself that she was fine, that everything would be all right. This only lasted for a matter of seconds. She sniffed, and began to cry, her head slumping down onto the desk and her body shaking with grief.
Sam woke up with a start to realise that she had just ten minutes until her appointment with Dr McKenzie.
Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her BDU's, she made an effort to contain herself, to make herself look more presentable. It wouldn't do for McKenzie to see her in a state of hysteria before they had even had their first session together.
Ten minutes later, she stood outside of the psychiatrist's door, a feeling of dread mounting within her. She raised a heavy hand and knocked three times on the door.
"Come inside," McKenzie replied, and Sam entered the room for what was set to be an hour of certain doom.
Once inside, Sam chose the chair that was possibly the farthest away from Dr McKenzie as she could possibly manage and sat down in it, curling her fingers together and avoiding his gaze.
"Major, it may interest you to know that before you have even spent five seconds in this room, I have been able to gauge a large amount of information from your movement and gestures."
"Yes, thank you," Sam replied sarcastically, "Could we please get on with it?"
"What exactly do you think is going to go on at this meeting?" McKenzie questioned, looking at Sam over the top of his small glasses.
"Well, I'm hoping that you're gonna tell me why the hell everyone is avoiding me on base, because I certainly can't remember and nobody will tell me."
"Who has been avoiding you?" McKenzie asked.
"J…Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Fraiser, basically everyone I knew before…back in 2002."
"Your memory loss interests me, Major Carter. You see, with ordinary memory loss, it is either short-term or long-term - you can either remember everything up to a certain point, or nothing at all. Your memory loss seems to be right in the middle of your life, with a gap of just eight years. This leads me to believe that the memory loss was a deliberate action by whoever took you prisoner these last few years."
Sam nodded her head. He was making sense so far.
"There are many ways that we can go about this, Major, and I'm not sure how you wish to begin. One of the methods I saw that was quite successful in the Gulf was hypno-regression. Have you ever tried this before?"
"Yes, back when we thought that Daniel had been killed," Sam said.
McKenzie smirked. "And which particular incident was that?"
"I…uh…the first one…after Abydos," Sam continued, without paying attention to McKenzie's joke.
"And how effective was it to you then?" McKenzie questioned.
"It worked very well, actually," Sam admitted.
"Very well, Major, if you're happy with this course of action, I'd like to proceed immediately. You take all the time you need, as I have no other appointments today."
"Not a popular guy, huh?" Sam asked, with a small smile.
"Well, then it looks like we have something in common," McKenzie shot back.
"I'd like you to close your eyes, and think back to the last time that you were in the gate room with SG-1, in 2002. Are you there? Good. Now, tell me what you see."
"We're preparing to go through the gate to…"
"The name of the planet doesn't matter, Major, please continue."
"We went through the gate and came out of the other side on the planet. Colonel O'Neill ordered me to go with Daniel to find some mineral samples, and then try and help Daniel with the translation of some ancient runes."
"And what happened next?" McKenzie asked.
"We…uh…oh, God!"
"What is happening, Major?" McKenzie asked again, leaning forwards on his chair.
"We're…uh…we're under fire!" Sam said, her fingers digging into the material of the chair, "It's a group of Jaffa…about five of them."
"What are they doing, Major?" He asked.
"They're firing at us, they - Daniel's taken a hit. He's on the ground. One of the jaffa is coming over to me, he's got his staff weapon raised."
"And?…"
"I..I surrender, I put my gun down. He's turning around to talk to one of the others. He…oh…he's got a symbiote in his hands…"
Her fingernails dug further into the soft leather of the chair.
"Keep going, Major," McKenzie said softly.
"He's coming closer to me…I turn around and start to run away, but one of the others trips me up with his staff weapon. I'm lying flat on the ground next to Daniel, then they…"
"Major?" McKenzie pressed, as she let out a cry of pain.
"Agh!" She sat up abruptly from the chair, breathing heavily.
"Major, what did you see?" McKenzie asked.
"They…oh, I'm sorry, could you please give me a minute?"
"Of course," McKenzie replied, going over to the water cooler and pouring Sam a cup, taking it back over to her. So now she'd found out what had happened to her at the start of the missing eight years, but she still had a way to go.
As he looked at her, he felt a wave of sympathy. She looked very scared, and he very much doubted that the worst was over for her yet.
"Are you feeling any better?" he asked.
"Mmm," Sam replied, taking another sip of the water and clenching her shaking hands together.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"They…pulled the shirt off of me, and…I could feel the symbiote on my back…"
"They infested you?" McKenzie asked, trying to cut the agony off a little shorter.
"Yes," Sam said brokenly.
"Major, we don't have to continue any further with this if you feel that you are not able…"
"No, that on its own isn't enough to make people stop talking to me - they're used to it by now. No. I need to find out what really happened before I disappeared."
"Very well," McKenzie said, settling back into his chair. "When you're ready."
To Be Continued…
Next time: McKenzie takes Sam deeper into her subconscious in an attempt to discover what really happened to her during the eight years she was missing.
Author Note: Sorry it took so long! Please send your feedback to jm-webmistressfsmail.net
Rating: R (Violence, Mild Language)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Sam and Janet talk about the time Sam has missed, and Dr McKenzie gets involved.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Details: Angst, Jack/Janet, Hurt/Comfort, Sam/Teal'c friendship, Future Story
Archive: Heliopolis, Gateworld, Fanfiction.net
Memento - part 3
Copyright © Ruth, 2003
Sam left General Hammond's office with mixed feelings. He'd told her only that nothing of importance had happened since she'd been gone, and that he'd booked her an appointment with Dr McKenzie that afternoon. She got the distinct feeling that she was being avoided, as well, because on her journey to the office, the corridors had been conspicuously empty, though she knew very well that many officers were stationed there.
Her heart was beginning to ache. There was still no word from either Jack or Janet, and she was feeling increasingly left out. Hopefully, with Dr McKenzie's help, she would be able to remember what had happened to her, but until then nobody would tell her anything. What she missed most of all was Jack - she missed the way that he was able to make her laugh, able to relax her with just one sentence, able to make her smile with just the twinkle of his eyes. She knew that was something she probably wouldn't have again, and it broke her heart.
She opened the door of her lab and was surprised to see Janet inside, with her back to her.
"Janet?" she asked, wondering why she was there.
"Sam," Janet smiled, "Oh, God, it's so good to see you."
She came over to Sam and put her arms awkwardly around her. Sam accepted the hug, but when she tried to touch Janet she flinched under her hand and pulled away. Sam swallowed, and decided not to mention it.
"Why didn't you come and see me yesterday?" Sam asked, trying to keep the hurt from her voice.
"I was tired," Janet said, "I could barely keep my eyes open - I'm sorry, Sam, I just…"
Sam waved her hand in the air dismissively. "It's fine, Janet. You need rest, in your condition."
"Uh…yeah…about that," Janet began, knotting her hands together.
"Congratulations," Sam said, with a smile, "You'll make a great mother."
"Y-what? You really mean that?" Janet asked in disbelief.
"Of course I mean it," Sam replied, "I wouldn't have said it otherwise. You deserve it - both of you."
Janet's face fell again. "How did you…?"
"I saw you in the control room together, and then Teal'c told me. I don't know why everyone is making such a fuss, really," she lied. Inside, her heart was breaking.
"Oh, Sam, I'm so glad! I thought you'd be really mad, what with me…taking Jack away from you."
"Janet," Sam said softly, "He was never mine to lose."
"But I know that the two of you have always been close," Janet went on, "I feel so terrible…"
"Don't," Sam said reassuringly, "You and Jack deserve to be happy together. I hope you will be."
"Sam," Janet smiled tearfully, "Those words mean more to me than you will ever know."
"Come here," Sam said, pulling her friend into a gentle hug. As she felt Janet lean against her, a tear rolled out of one of her eyes. She swallowed, and forced back the tears that threatened to spill. Now was not the time to appear weak, sad, and desperate. Janet had actually come to her, and she wasn't about to ruin the moment.
"I'm sorry," Janet sniffed, "I keep crying all of the time, no reason at all…"
Sam smiled. "Don't worry about it. How far along are you?"
"Eight months," Janet said, "Nearly nine."
"Wow," Sam said, trying not to make her voice sound like a croak, "You're nearly there, Jan."
"Yeah," she said, standing up. "I'll see you soon, Sam," she smiled, leaving the room as quickly as she had entered.
As soon as Janet had gone, Sam closed the door behind her with a reassuring click. She took a deep breath, and gulped back a sob that threatened to come from her throat. She went over to her desk and sat down, feeling the familiar surface under her fingers. For a moment, she persuaded herself that she was fine, that everything would be all right. This only lasted for a matter of seconds. She sniffed, and began to cry, her head slumping down onto the desk and her body shaking with grief.
Sam woke up with a start to realise that she had just ten minutes until her appointment with Dr McKenzie.
Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her BDU's, she made an effort to contain herself, to make herself look more presentable. It wouldn't do for McKenzie to see her in a state of hysteria before they had even had their first session together.
Ten minutes later, she stood outside of the psychiatrist's door, a feeling of dread mounting within her. She raised a heavy hand and knocked three times on the door.
"Come inside," McKenzie replied, and Sam entered the room for what was set to be an hour of certain doom.
Once inside, Sam chose the chair that was possibly the farthest away from Dr McKenzie as she could possibly manage and sat down in it, curling her fingers together and avoiding his gaze.
"Major, it may interest you to know that before you have even spent five seconds in this room, I have been able to gauge a large amount of information from your movement and gestures."
"Yes, thank you," Sam replied sarcastically, "Could we please get on with it?"
"What exactly do you think is going to go on at this meeting?" McKenzie questioned, looking at Sam over the top of his small glasses.
"Well, I'm hoping that you're gonna tell me why the hell everyone is avoiding me on base, because I certainly can't remember and nobody will tell me."
"Who has been avoiding you?" McKenzie asked.
"J…Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Fraiser, basically everyone I knew before…back in 2002."
"Your memory loss interests me, Major Carter. You see, with ordinary memory loss, it is either short-term or long-term - you can either remember everything up to a certain point, or nothing at all. Your memory loss seems to be right in the middle of your life, with a gap of just eight years. This leads me to believe that the memory loss was a deliberate action by whoever took you prisoner these last few years."
Sam nodded her head. He was making sense so far.
"There are many ways that we can go about this, Major, and I'm not sure how you wish to begin. One of the methods I saw that was quite successful in the Gulf was hypno-regression. Have you ever tried this before?"
"Yes, back when we thought that Daniel had been killed," Sam said.
McKenzie smirked. "And which particular incident was that?"
"I…uh…the first one…after Abydos," Sam continued, without paying attention to McKenzie's joke.
"And how effective was it to you then?" McKenzie questioned.
"It worked very well, actually," Sam admitted.
"Very well, Major, if you're happy with this course of action, I'd like to proceed immediately. You take all the time you need, as I have no other appointments today."
"Not a popular guy, huh?" Sam asked, with a small smile.
"Well, then it looks like we have something in common," McKenzie shot back.
"I'd like you to close your eyes, and think back to the last time that you were in the gate room with SG-1, in 2002. Are you there? Good. Now, tell me what you see."
"We're preparing to go through the gate to…"
"The name of the planet doesn't matter, Major, please continue."
"We went through the gate and came out of the other side on the planet. Colonel O'Neill ordered me to go with Daniel to find some mineral samples, and then try and help Daniel with the translation of some ancient runes."
"And what happened next?" McKenzie asked.
"We…uh…oh, God!"
"What is happening, Major?" McKenzie asked again, leaning forwards on his chair.
"We're…uh…we're under fire!" Sam said, her fingers digging into the material of the chair, "It's a group of Jaffa…about five of them."
"What are they doing, Major?" He asked.
"They're firing at us, they - Daniel's taken a hit. He's on the ground. One of the jaffa is coming over to me, he's got his staff weapon raised."
"And?…"
"I..I surrender, I put my gun down. He's turning around to talk to one of the others. He…oh…he's got a symbiote in his hands…"
Her fingernails dug further into the soft leather of the chair.
"Keep going, Major," McKenzie said softly.
"He's coming closer to me…I turn around and start to run away, but one of the others trips me up with his staff weapon. I'm lying flat on the ground next to Daniel, then they…"
"Major?" McKenzie pressed, as she let out a cry of pain.
"Agh!" She sat up abruptly from the chair, breathing heavily.
"Major, what did you see?" McKenzie asked.
"They…oh, I'm sorry, could you please give me a minute?"
"Of course," McKenzie replied, going over to the water cooler and pouring Sam a cup, taking it back over to her. So now she'd found out what had happened to her at the start of the missing eight years, but she still had a way to go.
As he looked at her, he felt a wave of sympathy. She looked very scared, and he very much doubted that the worst was over for her yet.
"Are you feeling any better?" he asked.
"Mmm," Sam replied, taking another sip of the water and clenching her shaking hands together.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
"They…pulled the shirt off of me, and…I could feel the symbiote on my back…"
"They infested you?" McKenzie asked, trying to cut the agony off a little shorter.
"Yes," Sam said brokenly.
"Major, we don't have to continue any further with this if you feel that you are not able…"
"No, that on its own isn't enough to make people stop talking to me - they're used to it by now. No. I need to find out what really happened before I disappeared."
"Very well," McKenzie said, settling back into his chair. "When you're ready."
To Be Continued…
Next time: McKenzie takes Sam deeper into her subconscious in an attempt to discover what really happened to her during the eight years she was missing.
Author Note: Sorry it took so long! Please send your feedback to jm-webmistressfsmail.net