Title: Lost in the Shadows
Author: Stardrops
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.
Chapter 6: Attempting To Mend
Hermione walked as briskly as her legs would allow without actually running. She could not believe what she had just witnessed. Poor Draco. She didn't know what the book was, but she knew what it had to do with. The same misery that had plagued Draco since school began. Harry and Ron couldn't have known. But she'd found out, and she'd begun to realize that Draco was a human being. He had feelings as well, and not just of contempt and derision. He felt pain and hurt just as much as she did. And although none of his cronies around him seemed to notice, Hermione certainly did. And it seemed that she wasn't the only one.
"Hermione!" came a soft shout from behind her, as though the person calling was trying not to be heard by anyone else lurking in the dark of the Slytherin corridors.
Hermione turned to see Delphine running towards her. Delphine had a look of concern on her face, and she could tell that Hermione was feeling awful about what happened.
"Look, whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, was it?" Delphine asked.
Hermione looked down at her feet. "It wasn't directly, but I could have tried harder to stop them. I knew it was something important, and yet all I did was stand there and ask them to stop. I could have reached out and caught it." Hermione's faced was swathed in guilt.
Delphine reached out to touch a hand to her new friend's shoulder. "Hey, look. It wasn't your fault. I'm sure he noticed what you were trying to do."
Hermione looked at her. "That doesn't matter to me. Well, not really. But I really hope the boys try to mend everything."
Delphine smiled weakly. "Draco won't accept anything from them for a while yet."
Hermione nodded, she knew this was true. And if it had been her, she would have been exactly the same.
Delphine led Hermione down past the Slytherin common room into a small dead end corridor no one ever went down or, for that matter, even noticed. Sitting on a plain wooden stool only a small distance from the floor, fingering the ashes of what had been his prized memory collection was Draco Malfoy.
Hermione shivered when she saw his expression. It couldn't be natural for one person's face to be so blank. In the pale light leaking through a c was eerie.
"What do you want?" he asked flatly.
Delphine stood back and watched. Hermione swallowed and held out the book bag she'd magically mended. The inkbottles had been repaired, but nothing could get rid of the bright stains covering the bag.
Draco stared at it for a moment and then said expressionlessly, "Thank you."
Hermione took a breath and said, "Look, Malfoy, I'm really sorry about what happened before."
Draco's dull eyes turned to set on her for a moment as though measuring up her sincerity before turning away again, staring at the wall. "What are you apologizing for?"
Hermione squirmed and looked at Delphine for support. Delphine shrugged.
"Well, they are my friends – and – I guess I just felt responsible for what they did."
Draco shot her a withering glare. "You didn't do anything, so don't apologize. And don't you dare feel sympathetic. I don't want your pity. If Potter and Weasley have something to say to me, they can come and say it. I don't want to see their little 'messenger' who claims to feel sorry for me."
Hermione was taken aback. Even the old Draco was never this cold. "Well, I – I didn't actually get asked by them to come, I just came to see if you were okay."
Draco glared and set his feet down sharply on the floor, causing a bang that resounded in the corridor. "Well bugger off then. I told you not to feel sorry for me. And don't even think about trying to persuade Potter and Weasel to come and say they're sorry. They aren't sorry. And even if they were, I wouldn't want to hear it. Just piss off, the lot of you. I hate you."
The last three words echoed quietly in the silent corridor, giving a spooky feel to the moment. Hermione nodded and simply said, "I'm still sorry." She turned and walked as fast as she could away from Draco, before he could reply.
Delphine looked at Draco. His face was blank, but his eyes were alive with cold fury. He was staring at her.
"Don't look at me like that," he growled. "She didn't come to say sorry, she came to make sure she wouldn't have to feel guilty because her stupid friends are complete arseholes."
Delphine shook her head vigorously. "No, she did come to say sorry! And Harry and Ron would have as well, except I think they realize you don't want to see them."
Draco smirked dryly. "Well, I hope they stay far away from me. The last thing I want is to see their ugly, pathetic faces right now."
"I'm sure they really didn't mean to upset you," Delphine trailed off, knowing this was a pathetic argument.
"What?" Draco couldn't believe she'd said it. "They took a book off me, when I hadn't done anything to them, and burnt it to ashes. Don't tell me they didn't frigging mean to upset me."
"It was an accident though, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, probably, but who cares? They attacked me, I did nothing to them. I didn't even give them a reason to trip me up, much less a reason to destroy my things."
Delphine reached out a hand to him. "You've got a right to be angry, Draco. Just don't be such a prat to Hermione. She was only trying to help."
Draco's temper flared, and he swung out his hand, knocking her wrist as hard as he could. She recoiled and stared at him, slightly afraid.
"Don't even try to tell me what to do! You came into my life pretending to be some sort of perfect, all-knowing person I could pour my heart out to. What about you? When have you ever told me anything about yourself?" Draco said icily.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I told you about Perseus, about my father, about my home and about me. I know crap-all about you. Did you only pretend to befriend me so you'd find out the dirt about the situation in which your brother was killed?"
"Don't you dare mention him like that," Delphine said coldly.
"Why not? You weren't there. You had no bloody idea what happened, what went on. That's it isn't it? You didn't want me as a friend, you wanted the information, and now you're siding with the Perfect Potter Gang. Well, screw you."
"I never used you. Did you even want to know anything about me?"
"Well, duh! God you can be thick sometimes. Why don't you tell me something true about the perfect martyr that is Delphine Winters?"
"Why the hell should I?" Delphine replied angrily. "You really are a dickhead sometimes Draco."
"The only reason you came to me was because you wanted information on how your brother died!" Draco yelled.
"He was important to me. And unless I'm really mistaken, you came to me, not the other way around!" Delphine's face started to go pink with suppressed rage. "I did not use you, whatever you might think. I cared about you because you looked so fragile!"
"Do you seriously think I can't take care of myself?" Draco said incredulously. "I would have been fine if I'd never met you. You were simply a bonus."
"Well fine then! If you don't need me, I'll just bugger off out of your life forever!" she yelled. "It's not like you made a difference to me anyway!"
"I thought you were a sort of fairytale character who never did anything wrong, never said the wrong thing, who knew exactly what everyone was thinking and feeling. But you're as much human as the next person. Like it or not, you are just like everyone else!" Draco retaliated.
"Then I guess that is one thing we have in common. You were so stuck-up, thinking you were better than everyone else!"
"That is another thing we had in common then. Want to know how you acted back when you were first here? Some bloody perfectionist who had absolutely no bloody idea what she was going on about, but trying to act like she was better than everyone else. You didn't want to help me." Draco got up and walked along the corridor. He hadn't gotten a few steps before Delphine's voice rang out again.
"So what do you want me to do now then? Shall I pretend I never met you? Shall I ignore you? What?"
Draco turned a blazing stare her way. "Do whatever you want. I so don't care anymore."
She came up to face him and stood, only a few centimeters shorter than he was, staring straight into his eyes. "You really want me to bugger off? You seriously want to throw away the only connection we have simply because you're in a shit with Harry and Ron?"
"Potter and Weasley can go screw themselves for all I care."
"Then why are you pissed off at me?" Delphine exclaimed.
"Because you're a – just – I don't care, all right?" Draco yelled.
"You hate me because I defended Harry, Hermione and Ron? I am allowed to have friends other than you, you realize!" Delphine yelled back.
"I don't give a crap who you're friends with."
"Then what? What the hell is wrong with you then?"
"You're the all mighty, all knowing one. Why do you think?"
"I don't bloody well know, if I did, do you honestly think I'd be asking?"
"Bloody hell!" Draco bellowed. Delphine stood defiantly in front of him. This argument was the first sign of proper emotion he'd ever seen her show, and that was a comfort to know she was a real person.
She was staring at him with determined stubbornness evident in her expression. "Go on. Tell me the truth. What do you really think of me?"
Draco knew he was being unfair, taking his anger out on her. He shrugged half-heartedly and said dully, "Look, let's just stop this before we say things we regret."
"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Delphine replied bitterly. "Don't try to change the subject, just tell me the truth. Am I really a stuck up bitch, am I a know-it all or what?"
Draco shrugged again. "I don't know."
"Then why the hell are you going off at me for being some martyr?"
"Look, I'm sorry, all right?" Draco wiped his hand across his eyebrow. "Just drop it."
Her eyes blazed. "I am trying as hard as I freaking well can to fit in at this damn school, and you tell me I'm some weird person who tries too hard? Is that what I am then? A tryhard?" She walked forward angrily, looking slightly violent.
"Um – well – err -" Draco stuttered.
She dropped her fists dejectedly. "I really am a freak then. My friends are too polite to tell me to piss off, and when one does, they are too afraid to tell me why. I really alienate people."
She started to walk away from Draco, and Draco felt something he'd never really had the chance to in his life before. He was feeling compassion for someone other than himself.
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, whirling her around and pulling her in close to him. He could see unshed tears in her eyes as he held her close against his chest, trying to stop her trembling.
"Just tell me. Honestly, no lies. Please." Delphine was sounding desperate.
Draco brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and looked at her. "Do you really want to know?"
She never got the chance to answer this question. Her eyes met Draco's before fluttering shut as he gently touched his lips to hers.
TBC
A/N: Awwww, aren't they cute? I'm trying to make her seem less perfect because I had a complaint from someone that she seemed too stereotypical. Any advice on how to continue making her normal would be greatly appreciated!
Author: Stardrops
Rating: G
Genre: Angst/Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Duh. And I should probably add that in a later chapter, the idea for the constellations and star spotting was borrowed from some of "Rigella"'s writing, which everyone should check out.
Chapter 6: Attempting To Mend
Hermione walked as briskly as her legs would allow without actually running. She could not believe what she had just witnessed. Poor Draco. She didn't know what the book was, but she knew what it had to do with. The same misery that had plagued Draco since school began. Harry and Ron couldn't have known. But she'd found out, and she'd begun to realize that Draco was a human being. He had feelings as well, and not just of contempt and derision. He felt pain and hurt just as much as she did. And although none of his cronies around him seemed to notice, Hermione certainly did. And it seemed that she wasn't the only one.
"Hermione!" came a soft shout from behind her, as though the person calling was trying not to be heard by anyone else lurking in the dark of the Slytherin corridors.
Hermione turned to see Delphine running towards her. Delphine had a look of concern on her face, and she could tell that Hermione was feeling awful about what happened.
"Look, whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, was it?" Delphine asked.
Hermione looked down at her feet. "It wasn't directly, but I could have tried harder to stop them. I knew it was something important, and yet all I did was stand there and ask them to stop. I could have reached out and caught it." Hermione's faced was swathed in guilt.
Delphine reached out to touch a hand to her new friend's shoulder. "Hey, look. It wasn't your fault. I'm sure he noticed what you were trying to do."
Hermione looked at her. "That doesn't matter to me. Well, not really. But I really hope the boys try to mend everything."
Delphine smiled weakly. "Draco won't accept anything from them for a while yet."
Hermione nodded, she knew this was true. And if it had been her, she would have been exactly the same.
Delphine led Hermione down past the Slytherin common room into a small dead end corridor no one ever went down or, for that matter, even noticed. Sitting on a plain wooden stool only a small distance from the floor, fingering the ashes of what had been his prized memory collection was Draco Malfoy.
Hermione shivered when she saw his expression. It couldn't be natural for one person's face to be so blank. In the pale light leaking through a c was eerie.
"What do you want?" he asked flatly.
Delphine stood back and watched. Hermione swallowed and held out the book bag she'd magically mended. The inkbottles had been repaired, but nothing could get rid of the bright stains covering the bag.
Draco stared at it for a moment and then said expressionlessly, "Thank you."
Hermione took a breath and said, "Look, Malfoy, I'm really sorry about what happened before."
Draco's dull eyes turned to set on her for a moment as though measuring up her sincerity before turning away again, staring at the wall. "What are you apologizing for?"
Hermione squirmed and looked at Delphine for support. Delphine shrugged.
"Well, they are my friends – and – I guess I just felt responsible for what they did."
Draco shot her a withering glare. "You didn't do anything, so don't apologize. And don't you dare feel sympathetic. I don't want your pity. If Potter and Weasley have something to say to me, they can come and say it. I don't want to see their little 'messenger' who claims to feel sorry for me."
Hermione was taken aback. Even the old Draco was never this cold. "Well, I – I didn't actually get asked by them to come, I just came to see if you were okay."
Draco glared and set his feet down sharply on the floor, causing a bang that resounded in the corridor. "Well bugger off then. I told you not to feel sorry for me. And don't even think about trying to persuade Potter and Weasel to come and say they're sorry. They aren't sorry. And even if they were, I wouldn't want to hear it. Just piss off, the lot of you. I hate you."
The last three words echoed quietly in the silent corridor, giving a spooky feel to the moment. Hermione nodded and simply said, "I'm still sorry." She turned and walked as fast as she could away from Draco, before he could reply.
Delphine looked at Draco. His face was blank, but his eyes were alive with cold fury. He was staring at her.
"Don't look at me like that," he growled. "She didn't come to say sorry, she came to make sure she wouldn't have to feel guilty because her stupid friends are complete arseholes."
Delphine shook her head vigorously. "No, she did come to say sorry! And Harry and Ron would have as well, except I think they realize you don't want to see them."
Draco smirked dryly. "Well, I hope they stay far away from me. The last thing I want is to see their ugly, pathetic faces right now."
"I'm sure they really didn't mean to upset you," Delphine trailed off, knowing this was a pathetic argument.
"What?" Draco couldn't believe she'd said it. "They took a book off me, when I hadn't done anything to them, and burnt it to ashes. Don't tell me they didn't frigging mean to upset me."
"It was an accident though, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, probably, but who cares? They attacked me, I did nothing to them. I didn't even give them a reason to trip me up, much less a reason to destroy my things."
Delphine reached out a hand to him. "You've got a right to be angry, Draco. Just don't be such a prat to Hermione. She was only trying to help."
Draco's temper flared, and he swung out his hand, knocking her wrist as hard as he could. She recoiled and stared at him, slightly afraid.
"Don't even try to tell me what to do! You came into my life pretending to be some sort of perfect, all-knowing person I could pour my heart out to. What about you? When have you ever told me anything about yourself?" Draco said icily.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I told you about Perseus, about my father, about my home and about me. I know crap-all about you. Did you only pretend to befriend me so you'd find out the dirt about the situation in which your brother was killed?"
"Don't you dare mention him like that," Delphine said coldly.
"Why not? You weren't there. You had no bloody idea what happened, what went on. That's it isn't it? You didn't want me as a friend, you wanted the information, and now you're siding with the Perfect Potter Gang. Well, screw you."
"I never used you. Did you even want to know anything about me?"
"Well, duh! God you can be thick sometimes. Why don't you tell me something true about the perfect martyr that is Delphine Winters?"
"Why the hell should I?" Delphine replied angrily. "You really are a dickhead sometimes Draco."
"The only reason you came to me was because you wanted information on how your brother died!" Draco yelled.
"He was important to me. And unless I'm really mistaken, you came to me, not the other way around!" Delphine's face started to go pink with suppressed rage. "I did not use you, whatever you might think. I cared about you because you looked so fragile!"
"Do you seriously think I can't take care of myself?" Draco said incredulously. "I would have been fine if I'd never met you. You were simply a bonus."
"Well fine then! If you don't need me, I'll just bugger off out of your life forever!" she yelled. "It's not like you made a difference to me anyway!"
"I thought you were a sort of fairytale character who never did anything wrong, never said the wrong thing, who knew exactly what everyone was thinking and feeling. But you're as much human as the next person. Like it or not, you are just like everyone else!" Draco retaliated.
"Then I guess that is one thing we have in common. You were so stuck-up, thinking you were better than everyone else!"
"That is another thing we had in common then. Want to know how you acted back when you were first here? Some bloody perfectionist who had absolutely no bloody idea what she was going on about, but trying to act like she was better than everyone else. You didn't want to help me." Draco got up and walked along the corridor. He hadn't gotten a few steps before Delphine's voice rang out again.
"So what do you want me to do now then? Shall I pretend I never met you? Shall I ignore you? What?"
Draco turned a blazing stare her way. "Do whatever you want. I so don't care anymore."
She came up to face him and stood, only a few centimeters shorter than he was, staring straight into his eyes. "You really want me to bugger off? You seriously want to throw away the only connection we have simply because you're in a shit with Harry and Ron?"
"Potter and Weasley can go screw themselves for all I care."
"Then why are you pissed off at me?" Delphine exclaimed.
"Because you're a – just – I don't care, all right?" Draco yelled.
"You hate me because I defended Harry, Hermione and Ron? I am allowed to have friends other than you, you realize!" Delphine yelled back.
"I don't give a crap who you're friends with."
"Then what? What the hell is wrong with you then?"
"You're the all mighty, all knowing one. Why do you think?"
"I don't bloody well know, if I did, do you honestly think I'd be asking?"
"Bloody hell!" Draco bellowed. Delphine stood defiantly in front of him. This argument was the first sign of proper emotion he'd ever seen her show, and that was a comfort to know she was a real person.
She was staring at him with determined stubbornness evident in her expression. "Go on. Tell me the truth. What do you really think of me?"
Draco knew he was being unfair, taking his anger out on her. He shrugged half-heartedly and said dully, "Look, let's just stop this before we say things we regret."
"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Delphine replied bitterly. "Don't try to change the subject, just tell me the truth. Am I really a stuck up bitch, am I a know-it all or what?"
Draco shrugged again. "I don't know."
"Then why the hell are you going off at me for being some martyr?"
"Look, I'm sorry, all right?" Draco wiped his hand across his eyebrow. "Just drop it."
Her eyes blazed. "I am trying as hard as I freaking well can to fit in at this damn school, and you tell me I'm some weird person who tries too hard? Is that what I am then? A tryhard?" She walked forward angrily, looking slightly violent.
"Um – well – err -" Draco stuttered.
She dropped her fists dejectedly. "I really am a freak then. My friends are too polite to tell me to piss off, and when one does, they are too afraid to tell me why. I really alienate people."
She started to walk away from Draco, and Draco felt something he'd never really had the chance to in his life before. He was feeling compassion for someone other than himself.
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, whirling her around and pulling her in close to him. He could see unshed tears in her eyes as he held her close against his chest, trying to stop her trembling.
"Just tell me. Honestly, no lies. Please." Delphine was sounding desperate.
Draco brushed a few strands of hair away from her face and looked at her. "Do you really want to know?"
She never got the chance to answer this question. Her eyes met Draco's before fluttering shut as he gently touched his lips to hers.
TBC
A/N: Awwww, aren't they cute? I'm trying to make her seem less perfect because I had a complaint from someone that she seemed too stereotypical. Any advice on how to continue making her normal would be greatly appreciated!