Extreme Restraining Order Central Show
The show that went wrong
The camera focuses in on a cheesy glittery and very bent up sign that looks mysteriously like it has dried blood on it. it then focuses in on Shishi-Wakamaru who's listening to a CD player.
Shishi: (very loudly) MY NAME IS WHAT? MY NAME IS... WHO? MY NAME IS- CHIKA CHIKA-
Shishi is promptly hit in the head by a large piece of ice. He falls to the ground seemingly unconscious and bleeding. Camera turns to Touya.
Touya: (wearing long dark coat) I can't reach you with my own fist from here but I can use projectiles.
Suzuka: (from behind the camera) good shot.
Botan: why are you wearing that silly coat?!
Touya: silly 'coat'?
Kurama: you weren't wearing that last time, I'm sure of it. You were wearing something much more memorable.
Touya: (shifty eyes) ... no?
Silence from everybody.
Botan: I'm gonna kill you if you don't take that coat off!
Touya: I choose death!
Botan: (eye twitch) today would not be a good day to argue with me!
Touya: and why not!
Suzuka: well, this is going well so far.
Hiei: yes, quite entertaining.
Botan: MY BACK HURTS-
Touya: oh...
Botan: I HAVE CRAMPS-
Touya: ...oh!
Botan: AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!!
Botan just stands there, with random fire behind her.
Touya: I'm still not taking it off.
Random children in background: Take it off!! Take it off!!
Touya: where were you little children raised?
Atsuko: In my basement! They were taught the violence of alcoholism.
Botan: (still fuming) NOW TAKE IT OFF!
Touya: no!
Botan: YES!
Touya: no.
Botan: Yes.
Touya: no.
Botan: Yes.
Touya: no.
Botan: alright then.
Suzuka: this isn't in the script . . .
Botan: Fuck the script! This is my show now!
Yukina: (Listening to ShiShi's CD player while he has passed out) I'm scared.
Botan: (brings out a whistle and blows it) JIN! Come here, boy!
Jin: (Runs into studio) What?
Botan: Get that coat off Touya. . .and I might give you a cookie.
Jin: A cookie? Like. . .chocolate chip?
Botan: Yes. . .maybe. Well, probably not but. . .do it anyway!
Jin: Can't argue with that logic.
Suzuka: Okay, this is all wrong, we're stopping and starting over.
Shishi: (wakes up) hey! I was listening to that! Wait did the show start? (grabs music box and plays it)
Kurama: okay, we're starting!
Jin: But what about what Botan told me to do?
Kurama: forget it! We'll edit that out okay?!
Suzuka: yes... editing... I'm good at that... (Quietly) sure am...
Random beep in the footage. It skips to another part of the show. Kuwabara's screaming.
Yusuke: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Hiei: SUZUKA ARE YOU GETTING THIS?!
Kuwabara: MOMMY! EIKICHI! ANYBODY!
Kurama: oh we seem to have forgotten to choose a phrase again. Oh Touya!!!
Camera turns to Touya. He's stuck to a giant strip of flypaper.
Touya: holy shit! Where do you people get this stuff?!
Botan: it's made in Taiwan. Where else does stuff come from?
Random children: I heard that's where babies come from!
Kurama: hmm... I've heard that too. What's the truth? Touya?
Touya: oh hells no! No way I am explaining this to you.
Hiei: if you want I will.
Another random bleep in the tape. Kuwabara is no longer screaming but sitting in a corner bleeding. Botan's in the background pulling at the flypaper attached to Touya's coat trying to get the coat off with it.
Hiei: so that's how it happens! At least with demons.
More than half of the children are crying. Some others seem to be in a sort of trance.
Kurama: Hiei, that's more than enough of an explanation.
Touya: get away from me!!!
Botan: stop squirming. Uh oh.
Botan steps back scared.
Touya: fuck!
The camera turns to look at Touya with a piece of flypaper stuck to his head. It's all tangled in his hair.
Shishi: and you call me vain!
Suzuka: (laughing insanely) oh my god! Botan, you're gonna die!
Botan: well... you could always cut it?
Touya: (tugs violently at the ball and chain stuck to his ankle) I swear to Enma that when I get out of this!!!
Jin: I'm even smart enough to know you should run.
Kurama: ever consider the witness protection agency?
Botan: it's not like I'm testifying against him or something!
Yusuke: then that won't work. Well it was nice knowing you then.
Botan: Yusuke you-
Camera cuts off. Comes back with only sound.
Suzuka: you broke it! I still had two more payments on this thing!!!
Kurama: you're gonna need some more payments.
Suzuka: Botan! Why did you do that?!
Botan: it got in my way!
Suzuka: it's always in the same place! Klutz!
Botan: well, that place that is was just so happened to be in my way!
Yukina: everybody just calm down.
Suzuka: I think you need to buy me another one!
Botan: well you know what I think?! I think that you need to get your arrogant head out of your-
Camera cuts off. End... for now...
A/N: well, I think it was funny. Join in next time for a real episode instead of the one that went wrong.