Roses and Buttercups

Author: Ruri-chan [[email protected]]

Pairing: Stan/Ruka

Genre: Shounen Ai, Angst, Shota-con [Stan is a lot older than Ruka after all]

Disclaimers: Okage: Shadow King isn't owned by me, nor am I making any money off of this. [P.S. Ari's Japanese name is Ruka; I liked it a lot more than Ari so that's why it says Ruka.]

"Roses are cruel flowers with a haunting beauty that draws a person close to admire the sheer loveliness of it. However, to touch would mean being cut by the hidden thorns. So, a person can only stare at the beauty from afar least they get hurt.

The buttercup is a different kind of flower, one that allows anyone to touch its delicate petals. However, it is a simple flower with no strings that the rose holds. It can be considered ordinary in the world of flowers, but if the right person could see the potential of the flower…perhaps it wouldn't be so overlooked."

            Ruka in all ways of looking at him was a buttercup.  There was nothing that could be considered different about him, except perhaps that he had a hand in setting the world free from classification. But he hardly did that by himself, and no one believed him when he told of his adventure—except his family that is. However, that didn't bother him as much as it would others. He would have rather blended back into the background rather to stand out as so many seemed to wish for him to do. He was a buttercup.

            Marlene had come back from whatever dark place that she found herself, but there was not much difference between the doll-version and the real girl. Since the time she returned to whatever time she could catch Ruka, she complained about what she wanted and how much she wanted it to happen now. It seemed she had forgotten the reason as to why she even sought the boy out, but Ruka had never complained through it all. After all, he wanted her back…didn't he?

            Whenever Marlene opened her mouth, Ruka wanted to clasp his hands over his ears in order to block out whatever command or complaint she had to give him. She made it out as though he looked after the entire house rather than his parents. But his mother and father didn't seem to care at all about the torment he suffering from. His mother would only say that that is how heroines were supposed to act. Ruka would let out a sigh, but would not correct his dear mother if she wished to continue with the classification. After all, it wouldn't be fair to do such a thing to her. It was what she was so used to, if he were to destroy that belief, he would be no better than Beiloune.

            Still, he could not stand anymore from Marlene. He didn't know what she wanted from him and he no longer wished to know. In truth, he wanted to go find the others to start some random adventure. It was a hidden wish, of course. Even after the amazing adventure he had, he still had not grown one strong enough to withstand the society he was in. Besides, he couldn't ask his parents to look after Marlene for who knew how long she wished to stay in their house. It would be a burden…one that he accidentally brought.

            Staring out of his window, all he could think of was all the fun he had with the others. Though it was all life-threatening, he couldn't remember having as much fun since that time. Usually, he was picked on by the other kids for being so quiet, so weak-willed [though, that had not changed much]. Or, he was tending after the house as his sister seemed to wish to be difficult and his grandparents though sweet were just a tad senile. But then, he was able to leave on some magical journey that was bound to be more exciting than the contrite life he had been leading. However, now he was back home and back to being overshadowed.

            "I wonder what it would be to disappear again..." He murmured to himself, often when no one could hear. It was when the reality of his current situation would fall upon him. Though, he knew how easy it would be to fall to despair and allow himself to just be rather than live, Ruka couldn't help but wonder if anyone would miss him if he did disappear once more. No one had remembered him anyway, so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. KT had been so kind to him and perhaps one day he would be able to forget about everyone else.

            Nighttime had fallen over the small house just as it always had. Ruka waited for Marlene to give one last complaint before going to bed. Only when she slept did he ever seem to find any relief from the constant torture she put him through. Waiting for the rest of the house to fall into a slumber as well, Ruka slipped out of the house but not to run away though would get very close to.

            Tilting his head up to stare at the starlight filled sky; he sat on the fence along side the road towards his house to continue his observation just like every other night. It was times like this he would think most about everyone; Kisling with his erratic behavior and strange love for books, Epros with his never-ending rhymes and questions, Big Bull with his strange [and sometimes rather dim] but friendly manner, Linda with her overly cheerful behavior and slightly disturbing random singing, Rosalyn with her kind but firm attitude and the fights that she would get in with Stan. Ruka tried not to think of Stan as he did the others. It seemed when he thought of Evil King he would become even more depressed than he already was—which was a feat in itself.

            Blinking back the tears he didn't even know were forming, he shook his head as he continued to focus up at the sky above. Somehow the beautiful stars acted as a cooling balm over his aching heart. Perhaps it was because they were so far away that they could never hurt him nor ask anything of him. They seemed just happy to stay above acting as faint lights for travelers. Why couldn't he be happy just being as they were? Couldn't he just be happy with being with his family?

            Shaking his head to his mental questions, he knew he couldn't. There was something out in the world that he had been able to taste, to enjoy. He couldn't just give that up to become overshadowed once more. But, he couldn't leave…Ruka hated himself for being so wishy-washy, for being such a coward to be unable to leave. But, he would wonder how his family was doing. And besides, it wasn't like the others were distraught in not seeing the boy. He had not even seen them since they had parted ways those two years ago.

            Glancing down at his lap, he noticed something that had brought him fear but also some relief. His body was disappearing or rather becoming transparent. He had thought it would take longer for him to once again disappear from the world. But perhaps, it was because he was trying to fight it for the first year. To fight the loneliness that came without the strange band of friends that he had.

            Closing his eyes, he decided it no longer mattered if he disappeared anymore. His parents had forgotten him then, and so had everyone else. It would be better in the city of those forgotten people. He would be able to forget there too. More of his body began to disappear until the moonlight as he finally let himself cry over the losses he suffered. Perhaps if he cried sooner rather that holding it in, he wouldn't be as he was now.

            Suddenly, strong arms were wrapped around his shoulders holding him close to a warm body. His eyes opened in surprise as he stared down to find himself being held by someone. Beginning to struggle forced his body to stop its disappearing act; he moved to cry out but was shocked to stare into the face of Stan.

            "Were you really that sad?" Stan's gruff voice asked with a just a small hint of concern behind it. However, that concern had disappeared in the other's tone as he continued. "I was curious as to how you were doing."

Stan easily changed the subject, though not showing any real emotion towards the boy but the once shadow had yet to let go Ruka out of the hug he had pulled the boy in.

            "C-curious…as…to…" Ruka couldn't finish as he felt tears starting to fall. Why hadn't he come sooner? Why hadn't the others come sooner? Were they even concerned or was it just Stan? Somehow, he didn't mind if they didn't care…just as long as…shaking his head, he didn't know what his train of thought was going. More tears began to fall as he hiccupped. Ruka hated the tears, he felt like such a child when he cried.

            The Evil King's tone was of complete concern now as he raised a hand to wipe the tears away in a near loving way. "Why are you crying?"

            Just as badly as he wished to explain everything that he had suffered, his tears soon disappeared as a new emotion seemed to find its way over the sadness, anger.

"Where have you been?!" The question burst out of Ruka's throat before he could stop it. It was a rude question, but he had to know. He couldn't stand the thought of not knowing for some reason.

           Blinking a few times, Ruka could clearly see the confusion in Stan's expression. "Madril..." Was the simple response, not explaining anymore than the city but that was Stan's style Ruka knew. And it was obvious choice for the other. The place was large enough to get lost in but also it was something a being that used to be a shadow would love; dark and slightly gloomy. But, it was still so very close to where Ari lived…why couldn't Stan had visited just once? The other was so strong; it wouldn't have been a problem for him.

            "We didn't want to bother you."

            Ruka's eyes widened slightly at the thought of the others from not coming to see him because of him but not in the way he had believed. They had not wanted to bother him? Had they thought he would have liked to return to the life he had behind? It would seem logical, after all to all of them—even to Ruka himself—he was an ordinary boy, someone who would like ordinary things.

            "I…you…all…" The tears were threatening to appear as he tried to speak to Stan once more, failing horribly just as before.

            "It seems they were mistaken," Stan's tone turned scornful. "Idiots." The other looked to the side letting out a huff of annoyance as if wishing to blow them all away with a single breath—which he probably could.

            "I…I missed you." Ruka rested his head on Stan's chest with his arms trembling slightly as they wrapped around the other's waist. He felt strange yet right in doing so for he had missed Stan, more than he missed the others. Just knowing that the Evil King was here now made him happier than he had been for the past two years. It made him feel safe, even though he perhaps was in one of the most dangerous arms.

"I thought Marlene was taking better care of you." He spoke her name as though it were acid on his tongue. However, Stan's tone seemed softer as his hold tightened just a little bit more. "We had all thought you two were going to get married or something equally foolish. Bah. Such fairy tale endings make me ill..."

Laughter, something that Ruka had not been able to hear from his own throat for a long time it seemed, sprung forth at hearing Stan say such a ridiculous thing. He could never marry Marlene, the girl was just a person he pitied and he felt bad for doing such. Marlene had taken the pity for love, but Ruka had not known this when he was younger. He thought his pity was love, but found now what it truly was.

The laughter however soon turned to tears. It seemed he was crying more tonight than he had in such a long time, but for some reason he didn't feel so ashamed of his tears when he was with Stan. It was so strange, just being around the other he was happy but also sad. Thinking about the Evil King made him feel as though he would break in half but it also seemed to allow life to make more sense. It made no sense.

"Ruka-kun…"

Lifting his head up suddenly, he stared at Stan with a slight smile on despite the many tears falling down his cheeks. "I-I think that's the second time you ever said my name."

"Do you want to leave here?" It was a question that seemed to catch them both off-guard. But Stan made no move to try to cover it up or change it. It was so like the other to never admit what he said was brought on by the sheer moment of things and without thought. But then, so many things Stan did were born from the same nature.

"Yes." Ruka did badly want to leave but then he looked back towards the house feeling guilty in saying so. "But…what would my parents do without me…?"

"Forget about them." Stan replied as if it was obvious. "You're always thinking of others' feelings before your own. It is their own fault for letting Marlene into their house…" The ex-shadow thought of vermin which would never leave until they were properly exterminated, Marlene definitely was in that category in Stan's mind.

"My feelings…" Ruka spoke softly before he moved his arms to lightly rest on Stan's shoulders instead. For some reason the comforting hug seemed to take on a more intimate feel with just that mild change. "Could I stay with you?"

"…if you wanted…" Stan focused on the other's face, noticing the changes that time did to it. It still had its boyish look, nearing feminine, but there was grief around his eyes that he couldn't stand to see. He had thought that Ruka would have been happy back home but it seemed to just bring the other more sadness.

Smiling, it was light not at all bright as it used to be but at least it was still able to show. Ruka rested his head once more on Stan's shoulder as he felt the warmth of the other warm his own body if only a little. It warmed his heart more than he thought it would be able. Suddenly, a realization came so quick that it threatened to break his mind.

He loved…was in love with Stan.

It was why it hurt so much to think about the other. It was why he couldn't stand the thought of being apart from him. It was why he had been sad this long time, because he couldn't be away from Stan. Because he loved him. It was that easy, he wondered how he could have been so thickheaded as to miss that simple fact.

On a whim, he pressed a light kiss on Stan's cheek which he almost instantly regretted. The man turned to stare at him with a mixture of confusion and…what? Ruka wasn't sure and feared that Stan would push him out of his arms, tell him to go back home. Feeling as though he should at least explain himself before he was forced out of the other's life, he spilled out his words in a half-sentences but they mulled together enough to make one long fragment of a thought.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I love you, please forgive me…I don't know why…I know you cannot feel the same…I'm sorry…forgive me…I…didn't mean…I'm sorry!"

Stan continued to stare at Ruka as he felt the other begin to tremble in his arms. Love? The boy loved him? How could he? But he supposed he shouldn't question miracles. Smiling in his usual cocky way, he merely replied to the boy's near hysterical outburst, "Shall we go home now, Ruka?"

            Ruka felt himself begin to tremble once more but for a different reason. He knew Stan could never admit to his feelings if he had any, but in that small question…Ruka already knew the other's feelings. Without any second thoughts, he kissed Stan lightly on the lips, which was soon deepened by the other.

            Perhaps, Ruka thought to himself happily as he gratefully allowed Stan to kiss him back, just perhaps there are such things as fairy tale endings.

OWARI

Author's Notes: I was listening to really fluffy and sad music while I wrote this, it probably showed through very well. XD Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this rather strange little story. Yup, I'm an addict for the pairing of Stan/Ruka [Ari]. Hope you all enjoyed it.