Decisions of a Lifetime
Title: Decisions of a Lifetime
Author: SerenaD
Rating: R
Pairing: Sands/El
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I am asking for them for my birthday!
Feedback: Yes please!
Warnings: Graphic m/m sex
Notes: Love feedback
Summary: What's next in the life of El and Sands
Chapter 1 The time had come. They had to decide what kind of a life they wanted to live. They had spent the last few days giving a lot of thought as to what was to come next. They knew they needed to talk about it, but they just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Too many things hung in the balance. Things they had thus far been unable to admit even to themselves.
Up to now they had been busy taking down and finishing off the cartel. It had been a very eventful and violent lifestyle. They had traveled to the outer branches of the cartel's stronghold and they had lived to tell about it; even if they were a little worse for the wear.
Sands could easily manage on his own, and El, up until now had been alone. Most of Sands' latest wounds had healed. El was back on his feet and feeling better everyday. They were still standing.
They knew that it was only a matter of time until another group of men moved into the space left by this cartel's demise; and they might have to start again. Until then they could wait here or disappear. They were safe.
El felt he was a burden to Sands. The cartels were more apt to look for him as he seemed to be a permanent name on their list. Sands however could go and they wouldn't look for him, if he didn't bother them first. Sands could leave and live a calm life; El was just the whirlwind that knocked everything awry.
This is where they now stood, with a decision to make. Not an easy one for either of them. They had come to realize that there might be more to their story than just violence, death and destruction. They had feelings that neither was ready to face yet. Their life was yet to be complete.
The closeness may have started out as a way of helping each other through the rough times, the hurting or the cold loneliness that threatened to engulf them. After a year they had grown comfortable with each other. They had leaned on each other, told each other things they could hardly admit to themselves. In nights of drunken melancholy they talked, listened and tried to forget, not just their own thoughts but those of each other as well.
Sands had a need to feel loved, useful, safe. He knew he'd found these things with El. He was a vain man. He knew he was good looking, women and a few men had told him often enough. It was hard to think anyone would ever love him now; after what he was sure he looked like. He knew he was useless. Yeah, he could shoot and kill, but what good was that in everyday life. He wasn't sure what he could do if it didn't involved gunplay. He had a hard time feeling safe when he was alone. He had become very good at sorting out the sounds around him, but sometimes, he felt the darkness threaten to take him over and he would feel lost and alone.
El was tired of being alone and had enjoyed their time together. He had a need to love someone, be useful for more than revenge and to care for others. All he ever wanted to do with his life was make music that would speak to people. That would bring joy, love and laughter to the world. He had found that twice; then lost it both times. He thought he had an idea on where he could find it again, but he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.
They existed in a very quite, slow and easy lifestyle, when they were allowed to. They enjoyed working together in a garden they had started. El had helped Sands set up the kitchen so he could do most of the cooking, as it was a chore he loved to do and was good at. Sands was learning Braille, so he could read, which had been one of his favorite pastimes. El helped out some of the people in the village, doing odd jobs. He also worked on their house, as he could always find little things to fix. He had his music Sands. Such was their home life. It was never lonely, or boring. It was nice with just the two of them, a fact they had trouble facing.
El played his guitar everyday. He started as soon as he got up of a morning; it helped to loosen up the stiffness in his hands and arms. Sands would fix breakfast and listen. Once he too could play the guitar. Something he'd learned for fun. He'd been good at it and enjoyed it. He hadn't picked one up in a long time and he was sure that this was a skill, like so many other sighted skills that was lost to him. He had no urge to try a lot of things that he was skilled at, incase he found that he would fail at them. Why bother.
One day El came home with a new guitar he had bought from a man in the village. He was a new guitar maker and El wanted to give him a chance and see what kind of work he did. He sat down to tune it and for some reason was having a hard time bringing it to task. Sands couldn't stand it anymore. He walked over with an exasperated sigh, yanked the guitar from El's hands and slowly set about to tune it himself. He didn't even realized what he had done, until he was aware of El's stunned silence. But he continued without acknowledging him.
When he was finished, he started to hand it back to El. El pushed it back, "I couldn't make it tune, I think it wants to be yours."
Sands sat on the back of the couch and started strumming. He was hesitate at first then he found it all coming back to him. He played an old tune he could remember from earlier, happier days. It was beautiful, sad, haunting. El closed his eyes and listened. "I didn't know you could play. Why have you never picked one up before this?"
"I didn't know if I could play anymore either, but I just couldn't listen to you butcher this one up any longer. It's good to know I can still do this." He said as he hit a very sour cord. He winced, frowned and tried to find the right one to no avail.
El came up behind him, kneeling on the couch. He reached around to the fret board and tightened a string. He put his fingers on Sands' and showed him the correct cord. El's other hand went around Sands' waist. Sands leaned back into him.
They sat there and played like that for a few minutes. As the song ended they realized what position they were in. They both moved away quickly. El sat down and Sands moved to the other side of the couch and sat in the opposite corner.
Chapter 1 The time had come. They had to decide what kind of a life they wanted to live. They had spent the last few days giving a lot of thought as to what was to come next. They knew they needed to talk about it, but they just hadn't gotten around to it yet. Too many things hung in the balance. Things they had thus far been unable to admit even to themselves.
Up to now they had been busy taking down and finishing off the cartel. It had been a very eventful and violent lifestyle. They had traveled to the outer branches of the cartel's stronghold and they had lived to tell about it; even if they were a little worse for the wear.
Sands could easily manage on his own, and El, up until now had been alone. Most of Sands' latest wounds had healed. El was back on his feet and feeling better everyday. They were still standing.
They knew that it was only a matter of time until another group of men moved into the space left by this cartel's demise; and they might have to start again. Until then they could wait here or disappear. They were safe.
El felt he was a burden to Sands. The cartels were more apt to look for him as he seemed to be a permanent name on their list. Sands however could go and they wouldn't look for him, if he didn't bother them first. Sands could leave and live a calm life; El was just the whirlwind that knocked everything awry.
This is where they now stood, with a decision to make. Not an easy one for either of them. They had come to realize that there might be more to their story than just violence, death and destruction. They had feelings that neither was ready to face yet. Their life was yet to be complete.
The closeness may have started out as a way of helping each other through the rough times, the hurting or the cold loneliness that threatened to engulf them. After a year they had grown comfortable with each other. They had leaned on each other, told each other things they could hardly admit to themselves. In nights of drunken melancholy they talked, listened and tried to forget, not just their own thoughts but those of each other as well.
Sands had a need to feel loved, useful, safe. He knew he'd found these things with El. He was a vain man. He knew he was good looking, women and a few men had told him often enough. It was hard to think anyone would ever love him now; after what he was sure he looked like. He knew he was useless. Yeah, he could shoot and kill, but what good was that in everyday life. He wasn't sure what he could do if it didn't involved gunplay. He had a hard time feeling safe when he was alone. He had become very good at sorting out the sounds around him, but sometimes, he felt the darkness threaten to take him over and he would feel lost and alone.
El was tired of being alone and had enjoyed their time together. He had a need to love someone, be useful for more than revenge and to care for others. All he ever wanted to do with his life was make music that would speak to people. That would bring joy, love and laughter to the world. He had found that twice; then lost it both times. He thought he had an idea on where he could find it again, but he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.
They existed in a very quite, slow and easy lifestyle, when they were allowed to. They enjoyed working together in a garden they had started. El had helped Sands set up the kitchen so he could do most of the cooking, as it was a chore he loved to do and was good at. Sands was learning Braille, so he could read, which had been one of his favorite pastimes. El helped out some of the people in the village, doing odd jobs. He also worked on their house, as he could always find little things to fix. He had his music Sands. Such was their home life. It was never lonely, or boring. It was nice with just the two of them, a fact they had trouble facing.
El played his guitar everyday. He started as soon as he got up of a morning; it helped to loosen up the stiffness in his hands and arms. Sands would fix breakfast and listen. Once he too could play the guitar. Something he'd learned for fun. He'd been good at it and enjoyed it. He hadn't picked one up in a long time and he was sure that this was a skill, like so many other sighted skills that was lost to him. He had no urge to try a lot of things that he was skilled at, incase he found that he would fail at them. Why bother.
One day El came home with a new guitar he had bought from a man in the village. He was a new guitar maker and El wanted to give him a chance and see what kind of work he did. He sat down to tune it and for some reason was having a hard time bringing it to task. Sands couldn't stand it anymore. He walked over with an exasperated sigh, yanked the guitar from El's hands and slowly set about to tune it himself. He didn't even realized what he had done, until he was aware of El's stunned silence. But he continued without acknowledging him.
When he was finished, he started to hand it back to El. El pushed it back, "I couldn't make it tune, I think it wants to be yours."
Sands sat on the back of the couch and started strumming. He was hesitate at first then he found it all coming back to him. He played an old tune he could remember from earlier, happier days. It was beautiful, sad, haunting. El closed his eyes and listened. "I didn't know you could play. Why have you never picked one up before this?"
"I didn't know if I could play anymore either, but I just couldn't listen to you butcher this one up any longer. It's good to know I can still do this." He said as he hit a very sour cord. He winced, frowned and tried to find the right one to no avail.
El came up behind him, kneeling on the couch. He reached around to the fret board and tightened a string. He put his fingers on Sands' and showed him the correct cord. El's other hand went around Sands' waist. Sands leaned back into him.
They sat there and played like that for a few minutes. As the song ended they realized what position they were in. They both moved away quickly. El sat down and Sands moved to the other side of the couch and sat in the opposite corner.