Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own, don't sue.

Summery: Peter's thoughts when he is fighting on Hook's ship. Companion fic to "One who has slipped in and out of heaven." Slight Wendy/Peter.


Unhappy Thoughts

Hook flies into the air to meet me. I am surprised that Hook even has a happy thought. Oh well, you learn something new.

We fight. I still have the advantage of having flown longer and am better co-coordinated in the air. Hook needs to work on his agility and not falling over his own feet in the air.

I am about to finish him off when he brings me up short. "She was leaving, you know. Your precious Wendy was leaving you."

I know he is taunting me, trying to throw me off, but his words strike a chord deep inside me. I feel scared? Sad? That she would leave.

Hook is speaking again. "She'd rather grow up than stay with you."

Was he right? Was she so upset about my words earlier that she would rather grow up than stay and always be young?

"What can you offer her?"

My voice is not my own as I plead for him to stop. What can I offer Wendy? She said I was just a boy. I had claimed that I had no feelings. My heart is being torn into pieces as I look down. Wendy is fighting with a pirate, her spirit glowing through her eyes and her exhilarated smile.

Hook's expression of evil glee increases as he continues, pressing his advantage. "Let's take a look into the future. Behold, it is the fair Wendy. The window is shut."

How dare he speak of her like that! I dart forward, slashing at his heart. "I'll open it!"

His voice is filled with mock sympathy, "I'm afraid it's barred."

I can't hide the fear of this image and it shows in my voice. "I'll call out her name!"

His false sympathetic tone is mixed with glee, "She can't hear you." We lock swords. His voice lowers to a malicious hiss, "She can't see you. She's forgotten all about you."

I know he is baiting me when he says these things but the pain that the very idea causes is more than I can bear. "Please, stop!" I beg. It can't be true! I won't let it be true.

I am starting to fall, thoughts to dreadful for me to imagine pull me down. There is no happiness left in my thoughts as I hear Hook's final comment, "Look, there is another in your place. He is called 'Husband.'"

I fall to the deck, unmoving. Around me the battle falters then stops. Hook lands on the deck as I search for Wendy's face.

Hook is speaking but I ignore him. I look only at Wendy. Her expression is one of horror, her eyes filled with something I do not know.

Above me, the captain raises his hook. I can hear Wendy screaming as she struggles against her captor, the sounds coming as if from miles away.

The hook begins to come down but is stopped as Wendy breaks free and grabs Hook's arm. He shakes Wendy off and throws her to the ground.

She lands beside me, her face calm as she whispers in my ear, "Peter, I am sorry that I must grow up, but this is yours."

Her presence is gone as Hook drags her upright, her hand curled. He demands to know what she is giving me. Wendy's voice is sad, as if she has accepted something but is unhappy about it. She tells him that it is only a thimble. Hook laughs and throws her back down.

Wendy rests her head on my shoulder and speaks only to me. "This belongs to you," her voice is soft, filled with an emotion I do not understand as she whispers, "and always will."

Her soft, gentle hand rests on my cheek, a silky auburn curl falling to caress my shoulder as Wendy leans down and presses her lips against mine.

My mind is not thinking clearly, all that I can make out is that this is very enjoyable. The feeling ends too soon as Hook jerks her away from me.

My old, self-assured grin is returning as happiness fills me. The pirate crew is giving me strange looks as Hook states in a puzzled tone, "Pan, you're PINK!"

Am I? Who cares! I am loved! Something inside me bursts, exploding outward. Wendy and the boys dive for cover as the pirates are thrown overboard and I soar into the night sky.

Hook follows me, screaming that he won and that it is not fair. Now it is my turn to taunt. I jeer that he is old, old and alone. Somewhere below I hear Wendy's voice, "Done for." There is anger and perhaps a trace of sympathy in her voice.

The crocodile bursts from the sea as the Boys start up a chant, "Old. Alone. Done for. Old. Alone. Done for." Wendy says nothing, only watches as Hook sinks lower and lower, trying to keep himself in the air.

He fails, plummeting into the crocodiles jaws.

Wendy and the boys set up a cheer, cut off as I call out in Hook's voice. They whip around as I revert to my own voice.

I order them to ready the ship and they rush off as Wendy looks at me from the bottom of the stairs. She smiles, "Oh, the cleverness of you." I smile back. I put two fingers to my lips and whistle. Hundreds of fairies pour from the woods, lifting us up into the air.

Wendy stands at my side on the journey to London and I discover that I like it.

I had lied to us both when we danced in the fairy grove near the Indian camp.

I do know what love is. I have felt it and the idea does not disgust me as I had thought it would.

Wendy may grow up. She may grow old and die. But I know that I will never forget her and I will never forget this night.