Disclaimer: Yeah, that's right, I don't own Inu-yasha. You don't have to rub it in... *sob* Neither do I own The Cranberries, who wrote the 'chapter song.'
"Just An Animal" - Chapter 1 Chapter Song: Sunday - The Cranberries
Something on your mind - wanna leave me behind, leave me behind
~*~
Inu-yasha stood looking disdainfully down at the gooey pool of poison that was all that remained of Naraku. He had numerous wounds from the battle, and they hurt, but they would heal. But there were other... other wounds that would take longer to heal, for some of them.
He glanced over his shoulder at Sango, who sobbed heartbrokenly over Kohaku's fallen body. Finding no more use for the boy, and mostly to distract Sango from the battle, Naraku had removed Kohaku's shard and released him to death.
Miroku held her, and for once there was no look of lechery on his face, just simple concern for his friend and shared grief for the brother she had loved. Even Shippo tried his best to comfort the distraught taijiya, his tiny arms wrapped tightly around one of her legs.
Inu-yasha grimaced, feeling sympathy for the demon-slayer. Much as he hated to admit it, she was his friend. After all this time, it still seemed strange... the human was his friend. And he knew only too well what it was like to lose a loved one.
One person was obviously missing from Sango's side. Inu-yasha looked around. Where was Kagome? If something had happened to her... he'd tried to keep her safe in the battle... Panic began to seize him, but then her soothing scent of lavender filled his senses.
She knelt next to him, eyes scanning the venomous ooze he had been contemplating moments earlier. Sango was her best friend, and she wanted to be there for her, but some things were more important...
"Do you see them?" Inu-yasha said as Kagome seemed to notice something in the black pool.
"The shards are there," she said, pointing. "Too far out for me. Can you withstand the poison?"
"Feh," was his only reply as he trudged out to where she had pointed and scooped up the stained and blackened shards. The poison made his bare feet sting, but it wasn't very strong now that Naraku was dead.
He brought them to Kagome and she cleansed them with a touch. Removing the jewel from her necklace, she looked up at Inu-yasha, her face a mix of emotions.
"This is it, Inu-yasha... the Shikon Jewel should be complete now..."
Something tightened painfully in his chest as he looked down into Kagome's face. "That means..." he began quietly.
"...the journey's over," she finished, looking away. She clasped the jewel tightly in her left hand and the errant shards in the other, nervous to bring the two together.
Inu-yasha remained silent as thoughts ran swiftly through his head. Kagome's smiling face... the way she looked so peaceful when sleeping... the way she worried about him... her scent... how she cooked him ramen... how he loved when she rubbed his ears and how he'd rather die than admit it...
Other, less pleasant, thoughts entered his mind as well. The way he always made her cry... the time he'd shoved her down the well... every time he'd ever screamed at, cursed at, or insulted her... the way her face fell whenever he left her to find Kikyo... how he always put her down... how he made her look for shards instead of living the life she wanted to, in her own time...
The last thought, the one he'd been avoiding for so long now, finally slipped through his defenses and let itself be heard.
The Jewel is complete and she's going to leave. She's going to leave you and never come back.
He wasn't sure he could bear it. His chest tightened again, more painfully, until breathing seemed to become difficult. He hated that feeling. The feeling of despair, of loneliness, of being unwanted. He'd felt it when his mother died. He'd felt it with every dirty look from a villager. He'd felt it when Kikyo's arrow pinned him to the Goshinboku.
It had been so great... when he'd met Kagome, that feeling had finally fled from him. He hadn't felt the black, gnawing emptiness for so long... so long... but now it was back, eating viciously at his soul, and he hated it.
Unnerved by Inu-yasha's uncharacteristic silence, Kagome looked down at her hands, still fisted around the jewel and the shards.
Her heart was hurting too. Of course, he'll want the Jewel. And me, lovesick fool that I am, I'll give it to him. Even though I know exactly what he'll do with it... and it hurts, it hurts so much.
He'll bring Kikyo back. He doesn't even care that it hurts me. He never cares when he hurts me, but I can't stop... wanting... hoping...
You're never going to win his heart, you know, the little voice in her head said. You have to face it. It's hopeless and it only brings you pain.
The voice was right. With a sniff, Kagome slapped her hands together and felt warmth between her palms as her miko powers fused Naraku's shards to the jewel.
Both hanyou and human watched apprehensively as the flickers of light between Kagome's cupped hands faded. Slowly, she drew her hands apart.
"What?" Inu-yasha snapped, dropping down to a squat and glaring at the jewel. Kagome, too, stared in wonder.
It wasn't complete. A small missing chunk still marred the surface of the tiny sphere of light.
"But... but..." Kagome stammered. "Naraku had the rest, didn't he? It should be done!"
Inu-yasha's eyes narrowed at her words. She's that anxious to be done with it, eh? Wants to be rid of me, I suppose...
"I guess..." Kagome continued. "I guess Naraku didn't collect all the remaining shards. That means there's still some demons out there with more shards. So I'm still needed here."
Internally, both Inu-yasha and Kagome breathed sighs of relief.
She won't leave me. Not yet.
I can still see Inu-yasha... at least for a little while...
So grateful was Inu-yasha he even let her return home two days later without too big a fuss. She only had to sit him once, and he didn't even swear... much.
She has to come back. It's not done... and we still have a little more time. A little more time where I don't have to feel alone...
And I couldn't find the words to say I love you
and I couldn't find the time to say I need you
it wouldn't come out right, it wouldn't come out right
it just came out all wrong
~*~
Author's Note: Yay! Chapter one is a go! I have actually written this entire fic, and will be posting one chapter a day, so tune in tomorrow for more! Warning: Contains giant amounts of angst! But also some humor, action, lots of romance (naturally), and just a wee bit of drama. Hope you like!
Side note - chapter songs are like 'angst multipliers.' Not required, but they definitely set the mood.
Coming up next: There's still a few shards left to go. Will they find the demons who hold them before more innocent lives are taken? Find out in Chapter 2!