Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing
Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse...what if he does something horrible before they can?
Morgri- Wassup everyone? It's tuff writing depressing fics... because you either have to be depressed to write one... or you have to have a rrrreeeeaaalllyyy good storytelling ability. I'm not sure in which I fall... but o well! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was hoping I would you surprise in the last chapter... not sure I did.
Anyway!
Enjoy!
"Speaking" (Thoughts) other peoples writing Flashback Shift in time or scene
Shattered
By: Morgri
Chapter Eleven
May 25,
It is so weird... I just can't figure out why... when in the midst of such great people I became depressed. Well I do... deep inside me I know that feeling of lonileness is still in me. I want it... to disappear forever, yet... I'm not sure that it ever will. I've endured much the past months... and to be honest, I really did want to die. The feeling that I wasn't worth living, the feeling that nobody wanted me here, the feeling my life was just a pain in someone's side was overwhelming! I did want to die. It was the obvious solution. All the pain would have been gone. And sincerely, I tried. The feeling I encountered was remarkable. All the pain and sorrow was gone. Just like that! The more blood that went the greater the feeling came. But... day after day, I had to cut deeper and deeper to achieve that feeling. That made me want to die as well.
Die...
At least I would have had that feeling in death. Yet else could I have wished for? Life wasn't worth it. Not to me anyway. Twelve years was all too much. Heck, I didn't even know who my parents were and ironically, I still don't know. It hurts... it really does? Was I a mistake to this world? I'm still not sure? And I'm not sure that question will ever be answered. I don't have answers... so how could I possibly know? Even if I were to ask the people... they wouldn't answer, and even if they knew they wouldn't tell me. Because that's there nature. I won't complain either. I am a monster. I understand that. I cannot argue with that.
It is a fact.
Facts sometimes hurt. So does truth. For me, it's a mix of both. I hate it, I really do. I am a monster, it's the truth. There is proof, there is fact, so it must be true. I do. I really do hate being a monster. I tell you, I would let someone kill me if they had too. I just don't care anymore. That's not a bad thing though. Compared to when I DID want to die. When both those ninja's attacked me, I didn't care. The truth... I was about to ask them to kill me. The blood was working... but I needed more then that. I wanted more. And that drove me to the point of wanting death. Like marrow to my bones they read my mind. Pain was useless to me anyway. It was my friend... and even though it hurt... I wanted it... I needed it. Sure... I didn't enjoy it at first, but then, slipping into unconsciousness was where the bliss really started
Who was I to know what bliss was though? Who was I to know that feeling? I was nothing. I was a monster! I was trash! A creature lived inside of me that terrorized everyone. I DESERVED every bit of harm. I did something that was wrong! I killed thousands. I was responsible for death, murder, genocide! I really was. Everyone was right. I was supposed to be secluded from everyone. I was dangerous... it wasn't all that hard to see. That's why I couldn't know happiness. That's why I couldn't know love.
Or so I thought...
Yes... I know I'm weird, and I may even be sick, I won't deny that either. But that is what I wanted. I was rescued from it. Even when I didn't know it or believe it. I was so confused when Hinata hugged me. I was so confused when Sasuke didn't hesitate to defend me. I was even confused when Sakura tended to my wounds while I cut myself. They were there. Slowly... they slowly freed me from my vice. They slowly showed me that they cared. They slowly showed me that I meant something. They showed me that my life might even be blessing... not a mistake.
But why?
Why, why is it that every time I see a knife or a kunai do I get the urge to take it and... and... cut myself? It scares me. It scares me to go back to that reality. Yet... deep inside me... deep inside me a voice still echoes "take the knife, take the kunai, your better off dead. Nobody wants you, your friends are lying! They hate you!" Is it the fox inside me? Or is it... me? Do I want myself dead?
That surely does scare me, but... now... now that I know my friends are behind me... I can rest. They will stop that thought of death... they will give me a greater pleasure then death. They will give me their presence. Just that... just to know that they want to be with me changes my whole perspective in life.
Life is good, isn't it?
Just Maybe...
No...
It really is good...
In fact...
With them...
It's great.
I can smile. I've never been able to really smile, but know... I can. I'm not scared to show my real smile. I'm not scared to reveal my loneliness anymore. I can cry again... but differently... because they... they will be there!
I guess at sometime pain and suffering will be negated. I guess... happiness will pull through sometimes. I guess... that... it's finally my turn for happiness... it's finally my turn to feel love and kindness and friendship. Just maybe... it won't change. The world hates me... but they don't hate me. There not the world... there my friends. Even if there from the world in real life... they certainly are heaven-sent to me.
They really... deserve to be.
Who would have ever thought of befriending me? I'm a murderer! But they took that chance! They risked death to befriend me. They saw the real me! The lonely... desperate Naruto that never showed himself. And best yet... they accepted me! They wanted me with them!? Even though I'm so repetive right now... "friends this, friends that," I think it's worth the repition. I couldn't stress enough what Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke have done for me. A friend is a jewel... three is a treasure...
It should stay that way.
I don't want it to change...
I don't care how selfish I am! Take everything away from me... my house, my money, my abilities... but... let me keep them. Don't take them away. Let me enjoy them while I live in this world. Let me keep them when I enter the next.
Please...
Grant me that one wish...
Let me have that...
You gave me friends...
Please...
Please...
Let me keep them...
Let me enjoy them...
And most of all...
Let them keep me...
For I was dying before...
But I'm living now.
Let's move on...
Let's get over our loneliness...
Let's get over our pain...
And instead...
Let's forget it...
Let's stay with the ones we love...
For...
These days and these moments have passed...
-Fin-
Not much to say... It was short... but I really enjoyed the end. Thank all of you for reviewing my story, and I hope you all really enjoyed. Keep a good eye out for me! Till Next time!
-Morgri
Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse...what if he does something horrible before they can?
Morgri- Wassup everyone? It's tuff writing depressing fics... because you either have to be depressed to write one... or you have to have a rrrreeeeaaalllyyy good storytelling ability. I'm not sure in which I fall... but o well! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I was hoping I would you surprise in the last chapter... not sure I did.
Anyway!
Enjoy!
"Speaking" (Thoughts) other peoples writing Flashback Shift in time or scene
Shattered
By: Morgri
Chapter Eleven
May 25,
It is so weird... I just can't figure out why... when in the midst of such great people I became depressed. Well I do... deep inside me I know that feeling of lonileness is still in me. I want it... to disappear forever, yet... I'm not sure that it ever will. I've endured much the past months... and to be honest, I really did want to die. The feeling that I wasn't worth living, the feeling that nobody wanted me here, the feeling my life was just a pain in someone's side was overwhelming! I did want to die. It was the obvious solution. All the pain would have been gone. And sincerely, I tried. The feeling I encountered was remarkable. All the pain and sorrow was gone. Just like that! The more blood that went the greater the feeling came. But... day after day, I had to cut deeper and deeper to achieve that feeling. That made me want to die as well.
Die...
At least I would have had that feeling in death. Yet else could I have wished for? Life wasn't worth it. Not to me anyway. Twelve years was all too much. Heck, I didn't even know who my parents were and ironically, I still don't know. It hurts... it really does? Was I a mistake to this world? I'm still not sure? And I'm not sure that question will ever be answered. I don't have answers... so how could I possibly know? Even if I were to ask the people... they wouldn't answer, and even if they knew they wouldn't tell me. Because that's there nature. I won't complain either. I am a monster. I understand that. I cannot argue with that.
It is a fact.
Facts sometimes hurt. So does truth. For me, it's a mix of both. I hate it, I really do. I am a monster, it's the truth. There is proof, there is fact, so it must be true. I do. I really do hate being a monster. I tell you, I would let someone kill me if they had too. I just don't care anymore. That's not a bad thing though. Compared to when I DID want to die. When both those ninja's attacked me, I didn't care. The truth... I was about to ask them to kill me. The blood was working... but I needed more then that. I wanted more. And that drove me to the point of wanting death. Like marrow to my bones they read my mind. Pain was useless to me anyway. It was my friend... and even though it hurt... I wanted it... I needed it. Sure... I didn't enjoy it at first, but then, slipping into unconsciousness was where the bliss really started
Who was I to know what bliss was though? Who was I to know that feeling? I was nothing. I was a monster! I was trash! A creature lived inside of me that terrorized everyone. I DESERVED every bit of harm. I did something that was wrong! I killed thousands. I was responsible for death, murder, genocide! I really was. Everyone was right. I was supposed to be secluded from everyone. I was dangerous... it wasn't all that hard to see. That's why I couldn't know happiness. That's why I couldn't know love.
Or so I thought...
Yes... I know I'm weird, and I may even be sick, I won't deny that either. But that is what I wanted. I was rescued from it. Even when I didn't know it or believe it. I was so confused when Hinata hugged me. I was so confused when Sasuke didn't hesitate to defend me. I was even confused when Sakura tended to my wounds while I cut myself. They were there. Slowly... they slowly freed me from my vice. They slowly showed me that they cared. They slowly showed me that I meant something. They showed me that my life might even be blessing... not a mistake.
But why?
Why, why is it that every time I see a knife or a kunai do I get the urge to take it and... and... cut myself? It scares me. It scares me to go back to that reality. Yet... deep inside me... deep inside me a voice still echoes "take the knife, take the kunai, your better off dead. Nobody wants you, your friends are lying! They hate you!" Is it the fox inside me? Or is it... me? Do I want myself dead?
That surely does scare me, but... now... now that I know my friends are behind me... I can rest. They will stop that thought of death... they will give me a greater pleasure then death. They will give me their presence. Just that... just to know that they want to be with me changes my whole perspective in life.
Life is good, isn't it?
Just Maybe...
No...
It really is good...
In fact...
With them...
It's great.
I can smile. I've never been able to really smile, but know... I can. I'm not scared to show my real smile. I'm not scared to reveal my loneliness anymore. I can cry again... but differently... because they... they will be there!
I guess at sometime pain and suffering will be negated. I guess... happiness will pull through sometimes. I guess... that... it's finally my turn for happiness... it's finally my turn to feel love and kindness and friendship. Just maybe... it won't change. The world hates me... but they don't hate me. There not the world... there my friends. Even if there from the world in real life... they certainly are heaven-sent to me.
They really... deserve to be.
Who would have ever thought of befriending me? I'm a murderer! But they took that chance! They risked death to befriend me. They saw the real me! The lonely... desperate Naruto that never showed himself. And best yet... they accepted me! They wanted me with them!? Even though I'm so repetive right now... "friends this, friends that," I think it's worth the repition. I couldn't stress enough what Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke have done for me. A friend is a jewel... three is a treasure...
It should stay that way.
I don't want it to change...
I don't care how selfish I am! Take everything away from me... my house, my money, my abilities... but... let me keep them. Don't take them away. Let me enjoy them while I live in this world. Let me keep them when I enter the next.
Please...
Grant me that one wish...
Let me have that...
You gave me friends...
Please...
Please...
Let me keep them...
Let me enjoy them...
And most of all...
Let them keep me...
For I was dying before...
But I'm living now.
Let's move on...
Let's get over our loneliness...
Let's get over our pain...
And instead...
Let's forget it...
Let's stay with the ones we love...
For...
These days and these moments have passed...
-Fin-
Not much to say... It was short... but I really enjoyed the end. Thank all of you for reviewing my story, and I hope you all really enjoyed. Keep a good eye out for me! Till Next time!
-Morgri