Epilogue
The bus was headed to the stop at Vance Street. Leo O'Connell had two stops left before he was there.
"C'mon, stupid friggin' bus driver, I'm gonna be late," muttered the young warrior in the back of the bus, tapping his watch as if doing so would speed things up. Cassie had told him to come in her car, but he wasn't done tying his tie, so she left without him. Eventually, the frustrated Leo forgot the tie and left anyway, taking the bus because the War Machine was in RaGiff's lab. (He had decided that, now that he was taking a break from fighting, he would go by his usual name. But once he started training again, he would be Blade Kasille once more.)
"Do I know you?" the old bus driver asked from up front in an equally old voice.
"No," Leo answered flatly. "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm late for a wedding and-"
"A weeding?" crooned the old man. "Well, why didn't ya say so? I love weddin's!"
Before Leo could say anything, the bus lurched forward and started going at twice the speed as before. They sped past two stops full of confused and angry people, and finally stopped right in front of the church.
"There ya go, young man," called the bus driver back to an astonished Leo. After he took a second to recover himself, he ran up to the front.
"Thanks," he said, putting a whole dollar in a box labeled "Tips."
"No problem, suh. Hope it's not yours, or you're screwed."
Leo feigned a chuckle as he dashed off the bus. He didn't play a vital role at the wedding, but he was still needed, in a way. He had been hired out for security detail, instead of paying for a whole team.
Once inside, Leo sat down in a chair in the vestibule. Through the wood and glass door, he could see RaGiff, Espio, Charmy, Vector, Mighty, Rouge, and a couple other people and animals Leo didn't know sitting in the pews. Standing up in the back were Tails and a rabbit whom Leo had also never met. He assumed these were the best man and woman. Knuckles stood closer to the altar, supposedly the ring bearer. And there, up front with the priest, was the lucky couple. Blade smiled.
"You made it!" whispered a voice behind him. He whirled around to face Cassie.
"'Course I did," he responded. The two kissed quickly. "Why were you back there? And what's on your face? It's right by your lip."
"Oh, still?" she moaned. "That armadillo said there was something there and I just went back to try and clean it off. What does it look like?"
"Looks a bit like chocolate. You weren't sneaking in a snack, were you?"
"No! I'll just have to live with it for now. You sure you have to stay back here, can't you come up with me?"
"Sorry, Sonic wants me back here keeping an eye on things. He has a habit of attracting trouble, so he needs me to bail his ass out occasionally."
Cassie smiled. "His ass must be lucky to have someone like you guarding it. See you afterwards," she said after hugging him. She ducked back into the church.
The priest had been droning on for a while-there were speakers in the vestibule that let Leo hear what was going on during the service.
"…through sickness and through hard times, until the end of their life?"
"I do," spoke the voice of Sonic, dressed in a nice tuxedo, at least for his budget. Come to think of it, everyone looked nice as far as Leo could see. Amy's wedding gown looked good, too. Cassie would look good in something like that…but with all the money he had saved, he'd need something better.
"And do you, Amy Rose of Knothole…"
Suddenly, Blade heard a beep on his cell phone. It was a walkie-talkie message. Who the…
"RaGiff," he growled into it when he picked it up. "What are you doing?"
"This thing's boring, man! When's it over?"
"They're saying the vows now, it can't be much longer."
"Fine, but I've got you in one on one when we get to the reception."
"Sorry, I gotta make sure the entertainment gets there alright. That is, if Knux remembered to get some."
"Fine, whatever. You so boring now, we used to have fun, man, you remember-"
"Shut up, 'Giff, something's going on."
"The ring, please," droned the priest.
Through the glass, Leo could see Knuckles start, surprised. He jammed one hand into his pocket, then into the other. Soon, he began to frantically pad himself down all over his tuxedo.
"Jeeez, man, the echidna forgot the ring," laughed RaGiff.
"Shut up man, we're screwed if he don't have that ring! Do something!"
"Like what, man?"
"I got it, create a distraction, then throw a ring to him."
"What ring?"
"I don't know, how about one of the god only knows how many on your fingers."
"Oh yeaaah."
Instantly, Leo saw something fly through the air and crash through the window. Screams echoed throughout the church. He then saw RaGiff toss Knuckles a particularly nice ring that he had been wearing. Knuckles pocketed the ring and watched the commotion.
Immediately remembering his role as security, Leo marched into the church with a mock furious face on. He stomped up to RaGiff and grabbed him by the wrist.
"What the hell, man…?" RaGiff asked, freaked out until he saw the look in Leo's eye. He then slowly began to smile.
"What the hell you doin' to me, man?" RaGiff exploded as Blade dragged him across the floor. On the altar, Leo could see Sonic smack his face with his hand and slowly begin to shake it left to right. RaGiff, though, continued to yell. "Oh, oh, oh, I see how it is here, man, it's cuz I'm a black man, ain't it? Uh huh, that's it, man. If'n I waz a white boy, this wouldn't be happenin' here, would it? Nu uh, no way, man! Y'know what, white man, I got me some good lawyers and they gonna rip you and your chillun apart, man! You hear me, I'm a smart man, I can get stuff done, man!" The whole time, Leo barely kept a smile from cracking his lips.
Just before the door shut on RaGiff, who was truly hamming it up, he let out one last yell of, "I will eat your children!" before it slammed shut.
Once it was shut, and once Leo had dragged RaGiff over behind a wall where no one could see them, the two began cracking up like nothing else.
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Up on the altar, it looked like Amy was about to cry. Sonic was, too, but not because he was sad. He thought the episode was funnier than any episode of Seinfeld he had every seen.
"Ahem," the priest coughed. "The ring, please."
"Oh yeah," Knuckles said quickly, and he pulled out the ring and shoved it into Sonic's hand, winking. Sonic winked back, then turned and slowly placed it on Amy's finger. Afterwards, the two faced each other and smiled a loving smile.
"I now pronounce you husband, and wife," announced the priest. He then said quietly to Sonic, "You may kiss the bride."
Sonic and Amy then proceeded to kiss for a full minute. The whole while, the crowd below them clapped and cheered, hooted and hollered.
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On the way to the reception, as Sonic and Amy talked in the car, the driver stopped, and turned to face Sonic.
"You have a call, Mr. Sonic," muttered the driver. Sonic took the phone from his hands and put it to his head.
"Talk to me."
"It's me," Leo's voice responded.
Sonic immediately began laughing. After a good minute of cracking up, he returned to the phone.
"Man, that was something. Anyway, what's up?"
"Bad news, man. The restaurant overbooked."
"Aw, too bad. Looks like Knuckles will have to eat something other than McDonalds, then."
"No, OUR restaurant."
Sonic froze on the spot.
"Our restaurant. The one Vector was supposed to get us."
"Yes, that one. Apparently, Vector neglected to leave the $10 holding fee for it, and they dropped our name."
"Holy crap."
"What's wrong, Sonic?" Amy asked, curiously.
"Nothing. Just a story Leo's tellin' me," Sonic insisted. He returned to the phone."
"Okay, so now what?"
"We can go to my place, if you want."
"I thought your place sucked."
"Nope. Got myself a new pad. That fifty million has just been growing in the bank, and I got myself a sweet little place."
"It better be sweet. Where is it?"
"It's on Ensemble Avenue. You'll see it when you get there, I'll have a sign up."
"Good. Later."
Sonic handed the phone back to the driver, who took it with one hand.
"What was that all about?" Amy asked.
"You know we're going to Ensemble Avenue, right?" Sonic told the driver. The driver looked a bit startled, but recovered quickly.
"I do now, sir."
Amy leaned over to Sonic. "I thought we were going to the Drafting Room for the reception!" she whispered.
"I said that?" Sonic responded. "Nope…no, I think I said we were going to Leo's place for the reception and I was gonna take you to the Drafting Room before our honeymoon."
Amy thought about it.
"Okay, maybe I was mistaken."
"Don't worry, Leo's place is twice as good as the restaurant," Sonic insisted. He added a silent "I hope," to himself.
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But Leo wasn't lying. The new house was killer. It was like a mini-mansion. He had a pool, two big screen TVs with the intergalactic satellite RaGiff had built, and a stage he had brought in for the entertainment.
Speaking of entertainment…
"Leo," Knuckles ran up to Leo, panting. "I forgot the talent."
"I knew you'd blow it," he growled.
"Ya gotta help me out, man. Please?" Knuckles looked desperate.
"You've really screwed up today, man. I'll try. What kind?"
"Musical and comedic."
"You couldn't get EITHER one? Geez, I don't know if I can even do that, but I'll try."
"Thank you so freakin' much. I owe you one."
"You owe me five for this one, man." Knuckles nodded and walked off casually to talk with Espio, who was giving a dramatic retelling of how he survived a point-blank gunshot during the battle on Earth.
Sonic walked up to Leo, holding a soda. "What was that all about?"
"Ah, nothing. Just a question about the entertainment."
"He forgot it, didn't he?" Sonic predicted. Leo just nodded.
"Don't worry, though. I'll find us something."
"Hope so, man. Hope so."
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"Ladies and gentlemen," Leo spoke into the microphone to get everyone's attention. Everybody turned. A couple people yelled, "YEAH BLADE!" Those were some of Leo's army buddies, slightly drunk. Leo smiled, then continued. "We have a very special comedic performance today. Could you please put your hands together for…" He paused, nervous. "…the comical stylings of…" He gulped.
"…RaGiff Griffin."
The crowd was about to clap, then stopped, confused. Leo quickly ran offstage. The curtain rose to reveal RaGiff, in a terrible showbiz like pose and wearing a big, stupid smile.
A couple nervous coughs from the crowd. One of the army people yelled, "YOU SUCK!" RaGiff's expression didn't change for a few seconds.
"What happened to Eddie Izzard?" hissed Amy.
"Um…" Sonic started. "His bus…er…blew up. But don't worry, RaGiff's a funny guy. Blade told me he's wanted to do stand up for ages. He's supposed to be hilarious."
"Yo momma's so fat," RaGiff called to the crowd, "a button blew off her jeans and killed a guy!"
Silence.
Amy sighed. It was going to be a long day.
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Okay, got the comedic talent…kind of. Now he needed some music. It had been about a half hour since RaGiff had started.
"Vector!" Leo hissed to the crocodile. Vector turned and slowly walked over to him.
"Why'd you have to interrupt me?" Vector growled. "This guy is great! I loved the yo momma crack with the jeans!"
"Uh…sure Vector, sure. Listen, you, Espio, Charmy, and Mighty feel like playing something?"
"Why not?"
"Good, cuz you're on right after RaGiff."
"What??"
At that instant, the boos began to rain down on RaGiff. People began throwing stuff onstage and yelling notorious, four letter words in his direction. The objects thrown on started with a ping-pong ball, then got as big as a dictionary-sized book.
"And from the looks of it, he's gonna be off soon. Hurry up, before he gets hurt."
"But we don't have any instruments!"
"I don't care, just sing something! Stall 'em!"
"Okay." Vector ran over and talked it over with the other guys. Although Mighty apparently wasn't happy about being interrupted from throwing a particularly large peach at RaGiff, they all brightened up at the idea of performing live. They quickly sprinted through the crowd. Needing a break, Leo walked to the front yard. Sonic was there, too.
"Sorry, man," Leo tried to console.
"Not your fault," Sonic responded. "Still…I wish things had gone better."
"She still loves ya, right?"
Cassie walked in from the front door. "What's up, guys?"
"Sonic's upset 'bout the wedding," Leo responded.
Cassie's face fell. "I'd try to console you, but right now you'd better go help RaGiff. They've tied him to a stake and they're looking for a match."
Before Leo could answer, a bus pulled up and honked. Sonic and Leo ran up to it. Vector had heard the honking and joined them.
"Hey Leo, man, we don't have any-" He stopped when he saw Leo was talking to someone in the bus who looked like a complete goth.
"Dude, you know where the Wachovia Center is?" asked one of the guys. "We're doing a show there, and we-"
"Oh man," Vector cried. "You're Matt Shadows!"
The young man in the bus smiled. "Yep. You want an autograph or something?"
"Wait, you know this guy?" Sonic asked.
"Heck ya! He's the singer for Avenged Sevenfold!"
Matt smiled, pleased that he had a fan.
"Wait, you're a band? You've got a band in there?" Leo asked hurriedly. He had to go get RaGiff down from that stake.
"Yep. We're,"
"You know what you are? You're my freakin' savior!" Sonic yelled. "Can you play here?"
"Sure. When you wanna sign us up for? We'll be in town 'til-"
"NOW!" Sonic shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Dude, Matt, what the hell's goin' on out here?" asked another guy with particularly long hair inside the bus. "How long does it take to get directions around here?"
"Calm down, Zacky," Matt told him.
"Please man, we need you," Sonic begged. "We need a musical act for a wedding reception!"
"I don't know," Matt responded. "We're going to be a bit late as it is…"
"Wait, hold on," said another voice. A tall, scraggly looking man with a beard appeared. "I know you! You're Sonic the Hedgehog, aren't you?"
"Well…yeah!"
"Dude, you're the man!" shouted the third guy. "I'm Sylvester Gates, but call me Synyster, man. Can I get your autograph?"
"I seriously need a favor. Can you guys play for us?" Sonic pleaded.
"Well…" Matt considered.
"Hell yeah!" Synyster cried. "Anything for you, my man! C'mon guys, we're doin' a warm-up gig!"
The bus' motor stopped, and Matt, Synyster, Zacky, and one other guy walked out and opened the trunk. Another guy, still in the car, helped get the stuff out. As they passed by, they introduced themselves.
"Matt Shadows, you know me. I'm the vocalist here."
"'sup. I'm Zacky Vengeance. I play guitar. Nice to get some practice in."
"I'm Synyster Gates, I play guitar. 's an honor to play for you Mr. Sonic."
"I'm Johnny Christ, the bassist." He slapped Sonic five, but the hedgehog was just confused by the name.
"Hey, it's the Rev. I'm the drummer."
"The Rev?" Leo asked.
"Yeah, short for the Reverend."
The band walked to the back, carrying their equipment. Before he disappeared behind the house, Rev turned around. "You might wanna control the fans here. They look like they're gonna hang this one black dude."
Leo sprinted to the back, Cassie following him. Sonic turned to Vector. "The Reverend? Johnny Christ?"
"They've got mock religious names," the crocodile explained.
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Actually, once Leo helped out RaGiff and Avenged Sevenfold got onstage, the reception went nicely. While the band rocked on and got the crowd going with their best metal hits, Sonic and Amy slipped away into Leo's house and the two laid down on the couch together.
"I am so, so sorry for today," Sonic apologized, hoping Amy could forgive him for this disaster of a wedding day.
Amy simply laughed.
"You kidding? This was awesome! It was hilarious! And plus, you got one really awesome band! This was a great day!"
She pushed her head closer to his. "And we're together now. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. Together."
Sonic smiled and kissed her on the top of her head.
"So, when're we leaving for the honeymoon?" she asked.
"As soon as RaGiff lets me borrow the War Machine," Sonic responded.
The two laughed. Then, Sonic became serious.
"Whenever, and wherever you want, Amy."
She thought for a minute. "Mm…I've always wanted to go to Chrostoff." (Chrostoff is the third moon of Mobius)
"And after that, we can go back to Mobius and find us a great house," Sonic told her. "A big 'ol house, with everything you ever wanted…"
"Yeah," Amy said. "But first, I gotta get the rest of my clothes from upstairs." Sonic and the others had all their clothes and stuff packed into the War Machine's trunk. They had more room for it when they got into the carrier. "This gown I picked out is so uncomfortable."
"Well, I'll buy you something great," Sonic consoled, wondering where he was gonna get all this money. But he'd figure out a way. "A great outfit that'll make you even more beautiful than you already are."
"Well, it doesn't have to be that good," she insisted. "Just something that doesn't give me a major wedgie whenever I sit down," she joked.
Sonic sighed happily and nestled her head closer to his. She made a happy sound as well, shut her eyes, and smiled. Sonic squeezed her tighter.
And that was the way it was for the rest of the night. While the guests came, went, and partied outside, Leo's house was all to the two hedgehogs. And they spent that night whispering sweet things in each other's ears, talking of the future, and spending time with their loved one.
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Outside, while the rest of the party-goers, some invited and most not, rocked out with the band, Leo and Cassie watched through the glass window. They were the only two looking at Sonic and Amy.
"Aww…that's so sweet," Cassie sighed. Leo turned to her. She looked so much better and happier than she did on Mobius, but that wasn't too hard. But she was still stunning. Her dark brown hair was combed down so it flowed when she walked, and she was wearing a beautiful blue blouse with a black mini-skirt that came with the blouse.
"Yeah, I guess," Leo responded. He wore a simple tux.
"Oh come on! Tell me you don't think that's great. They love each other!" she tried to convince him. Leo shook his head.
"I guess."
"And speaking of which…What's gonna happen with us?" she hinted, moving closer to him.
Leo grinned. "What are you saying?"
"Well, you know," Cassie explained. "With us. What are we gonna do?"
"Oh, thaaaaat," he said, acting like he had just uncovered some life-changing revelation.
"Stop it!" she laughed back, showing her perfect white teeth. Leo smiled back.
"Stop what?"
"Stop teasing me."
"I'm not teasing you."
"Yes you are! I can tell!"
"Okay, fine," Leo sighed.
"So what about us?"
"You don't give up easily, do you?"
Cassie smiled with her lips shut and shook her head happily.
"Well…actually…"
Blade pulled out a small velvet container from his right pocket. Once he knew he had gotten her attention, he slowly began to open it, revealing a bright, white diamond ring.
"Oh my God…" she whispered.
"Cassie…" Leo began.
"You don't even have to say it!" Cassie shouted back in pure joy. "Yes, YES!"
She jumped into his arms and hugged him so hard he almost started gasping for air. But he hugged her back. The two kissed, and those who could hear what had been going on cheered for the two.
"Don't tell Sonic, okay?" he asked Cassie and the others who knew the blue hedgehog. "I wanna surprise him."
Everyone around him agreed. Leo couldn't see Cassie's face, but the moving he felt on his chest indicated a yes.
"I love you, Leo," she whispered.
"And I do too," chuckled Leo, happily but honestly.
It was a picture perfect ending for both couples.
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Back on Earth, though…
Samson, a large, muscular Scottish man cut his way through the forest with his woodland knife. Stupid mission. Boss had told them to check out "an odd, falling object." But anything that fell into this godforsaken place was doomed anyway..
"C'mon, Bert, I'm not waiting for you anymore." Why couldn't they get any of the fun missions of their group, like some of the actual terroristic attacks? But no, they got the grunt work. Secretly, Samson was working on a plan to get a promotion for sure-or take down some of the higher ranks.
"I'm comin' Sam, I'm coming! God, you expect me to go as fast as you when you have me lifting all the equipment?" moaned Bert, a British member, probably the only British guy in all of the Affinity.
"Just speed it up, will you? Sooner we get through this place, sooner we get to go to sleep." It must've been past two in the morning. The moonlight was the only source of light other than Samson's flashlight. He moved another bush to reveal…
"What the hell is that?"
Something was laying there. Some dead animal, covered in blood and motionless, lay on the grass by a lake. It wasn't a wolf, that was for sure. He walked closer to it and saw red streaks other than blood along its body.
Oh man…
"What you lookin' at Sam?" panted Bert, who had just joined him. Then, Bert got wide-eyed. "I know what that thing is, Sam!"
"So do I Bert, so do I. Get the bag. We're taking it with us."
Bert hurriedly opened his backpack and pulled out a large, green sack. Samson picked up the animal, a dark black hedgehog. He knew the story all too well, like many other people. The space colony ARK, Gerald Robotnik, and Sonic the Hedgehog. He knew what this was. And he knew what it could do.
"You, my friend, are going to make me very, very powerful," Samson laughed heartily.
The bus was headed to the stop at Vance Street. Leo O'Connell had two stops left before he was there.
"C'mon, stupid friggin' bus driver, I'm gonna be late," muttered the young warrior in the back of the bus, tapping his watch as if doing so would speed things up. Cassie had told him to come in her car, but he wasn't done tying his tie, so she left without him. Eventually, the frustrated Leo forgot the tie and left anyway, taking the bus because the War Machine was in RaGiff's lab. (He had decided that, now that he was taking a break from fighting, he would go by his usual name. But once he started training again, he would be Blade Kasille once more.)
"Do I know you?" the old bus driver asked from up front in an equally old voice.
"No," Leo answered flatly. "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm late for a wedding and-"
"A weeding?" crooned the old man. "Well, why didn't ya say so? I love weddin's!"
Before Leo could say anything, the bus lurched forward and started going at twice the speed as before. They sped past two stops full of confused and angry people, and finally stopped right in front of the church.
"There ya go, young man," called the bus driver back to an astonished Leo. After he took a second to recover himself, he ran up to the front.
"Thanks," he said, putting a whole dollar in a box labeled "Tips."
"No problem, suh. Hope it's not yours, or you're screwed."
Leo feigned a chuckle as he dashed off the bus. He didn't play a vital role at the wedding, but he was still needed, in a way. He had been hired out for security detail, instead of paying for a whole team.
Once inside, Leo sat down in a chair in the vestibule. Through the wood and glass door, he could see RaGiff, Espio, Charmy, Vector, Mighty, Rouge, and a couple other people and animals Leo didn't know sitting in the pews. Standing up in the back were Tails and a rabbit whom Leo had also never met. He assumed these were the best man and woman. Knuckles stood closer to the altar, supposedly the ring bearer. And there, up front with the priest, was the lucky couple. Blade smiled.
"You made it!" whispered a voice behind him. He whirled around to face Cassie.
"'Course I did," he responded. The two kissed quickly. "Why were you back there? And what's on your face? It's right by your lip."
"Oh, still?" she moaned. "That armadillo said there was something there and I just went back to try and clean it off. What does it look like?"
"Looks a bit like chocolate. You weren't sneaking in a snack, were you?"
"No! I'll just have to live with it for now. You sure you have to stay back here, can't you come up with me?"
"Sorry, Sonic wants me back here keeping an eye on things. He has a habit of attracting trouble, so he needs me to bail his ass out occasionally."
Cassie smiled. "His ass must be lucky to have someone like you guarding it. See you afterwards," she said after hugging him. She ducked back into the church.
The priest had been droning on for a while-there were speakers in the vestibule that let Leo hear what was going on during the service.
"…through sickness and through hard times, until the end of their life?"
"I do," spoke the voice of Sonic, dressed in a nice tuxedo, at least for his budget. Come to think of it, everyone looked nice as far as Leo could see. Amy's wedding gown looked good, too. Cassie would look good in something like that…but with all the money he had saved, he'd need something better.
"And do you, Amy Rose of Knothole…"
Suddenly, Blade heard a beep on his cell phone. It was a walkie-talkie message. Who the…
"RaGiff," he growled into it when he picked it up. "What are you doing?"
"This thing's boring, man! When's it over?"
"They're saying the vows now, it can't be much longer."
"Fine, but I've got you in one on one when we get to the reception."
"Sorry, I gotta make sure the entertainment gets there alright. That is, if Knux remembered to get some."
"Fine, whatever. You so boring now, we used to have fun, man, you remember-"
"Shut up, 'Giff, something's going on."
"The ring, please," droned the priest.
Through the glass, Leo could see Knuckles start, surprised. He jammed one hand into his pocket, then into the other. Soon, he began to frantically pad himself down all over his tuxedo.
"Jeeez, man, the echidna forgot the ring," laughed RaGiff.
"Shut up man, we're screwed if he don't have that ring! Do something!"
"Like what, man?"
"I got it, create a distraction, then throw a ring to him."
"What ring?"
"I don't know, how about one of the god only knows how many on your fingers."
"Oh yeaaah."
Instantly, Leo saw something fly through the air and crash through the window. Screams echoed throughout the church. He then saw RaGiff toss Knuckles a particularly nice ring that he had been wearing. Knuckles pocketed the ring and watched the commotion.
Immediately remembering his role as security, Leo marched into the church with a mock furious face on. He stomped up to RaGiff and grabbed him by the wrist.
"What the hell, man…?" RaGiff asked, freaked out until he saw the look in Leo's eye. He then slowly began to smile.
"What the hell you doin' to me, man?" RaGiff exploded as Blade dragged him across the floor. On the altar, Leo could see Sonic smack his face with his hand and slowly begin to shake it left to right. RaGiff, though, continued to yell. "Oh, oh, oh, I see how it is here, man, it's cuz I'm a black man, ain't it? Uh huh, that's it, man. If'n I waz a white boy, this wouldn't be happenin' here, would it? Nu uh, no way, man! Y'know what, white man, I got me some good lawyers and they gonna rip you and your chillun apart, man! You hear me, I'm a smart man, I can get stuff done, man!" The whole time, Leo barely kept a smile from cracking his lips.
Just before the door shut on RaGiff, who was truly hamming it up, he let out one last yell of, "I will eat your children!" before it slammed shut.
Once it was shut, and once Leo had dragged RaGiff over behind a wall where no one could see them, the two began cracking up like nothing else.
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Up on the altar, it looked like Amy was about to cry. Sonic was, too, but not because he was sad. He thought the episode was funnier than any episode of Seinfeld he had every seen.
"Ahem," the priest coughed. "The ring, please."
"Oh yeah," Knuckles said quickly, and he pulled out the ring and shoved it into Sonic's hand, winking. Sonic winked back, then turned and slowly placed it on Amy's finger. Afterwards, the two faced each other and smiled a loving smile.
"I now pronounce you husband, and wife," announced the priest. He then said quietly to Sonic, "You may kiss the bride."
Sonic and Amy then proceeded to kiss for a full minute. The whole while, the crowd below them clapped and cheered, hooted and hollered.
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On the way to the reception, as Sonic and Amy talked in the car, the driver stopped, and turned to face Sonic.
"You have a call, Mr. Sonic," muttered the driver. Sonic took the phone from his hands and put it to his head.
"Talk to me."
"It's me," Leo's voice responded.
Sonic immediately began laughing. After a good minute of cracking up, he returned to the phone.
"Man, that was something. Anyway, what's up?"
"Bad news, man. The restaurant overbooked."
"Aw, too bad. Looks like Knuckles will have to eat something other than McDonalds, then."
"No, OUR restaurant."
Sonic froze on the spot.
"Our restaurant. The one Vector was supposed to get us."
"Yes, that one. Apparently, Vector neglected to leave the $10 holding fee for it, and they dropped our name."
"Holy crap."
"What's wrong, Sonic?" Amy asked, curiously.
"Nothing. Just a story Leo's tellin' me," Sonic insisted. He returned to the phone."
"Okay, so now what?"
"We can go to my place, if you want."
"I thought your place sucked."
"Nope. Got myself a new pad. That fifty million has just been growing in the bank, and I got myself a sweet little place."
"It better be sweet. Where is it?"
"It's on Ensemble Avenue. You'll see it when you get there, I'll have a sign up."
"Good. Later."
Sonic handed the phone back to the driver, who took it with one hand.
"What was that all about?" Amy asked.
"You know we're going to Ensemble Avenue, right?" Sonic told the driver. The driver looked a bit startled, but recovered quickly.
"I do now, sir."
Amy leaned over to Sonic. "I thought we were going to the Drafting Room for the reception!" she whispered.
"I said that?" Sonic responded. "Nope…no, I think I said we were going to Leo's place for the reception and I was gonna take you to the Drafting Room before our honeymoon."
Amy thought about it.
"Okay, maybe I was mistaken."
"Don't worry, Leo's place is twice as good as the restaurant," Sonic insisted. He added a silent "I hope," to himself.
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But Leo wasn't lying. The new house was killer. It was like a mini-mansion. He had a pool, two big screen TVs with the intergalactic satellite RaGiff had built, and a stage he had brought in for the entertainment.
Speaking of entertainment…
"Leo," Knuckles ran up to Leo, panting. "I forgot the talent."
"I knew you'd blow it," he growled.
"Ya gotta help me out, man. Please?" Knuckles looked desperate.
"You've really screwed up today, man. I'll try. What kind?"
"Musical and comedic."
"You couldn't get EITHER one? Geez, I don't know if I can even do that, but I'll try."
"Thank you so freakin' much. I owe you one."
"You owe me five for this one, man." Knuckles nodded and walked off casually to talk with Espio, who was giving a dramatic retelling of how he survived a point-blank gunshot during the battle on Earth.
Sonic walked up to Leo, holding a soda. "What was that all about?"
"Ah, nothing. Just a question about the entertainment."
"He forgot it, didn't he?" Sonic predicted. Leo just nodded.
"Don't worry, though. I'll find us something."
"Hope so, man. Hope so."
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"Ladies and gentlemen," Leo spoke into the microphone to get everyone's attention. Everybody turned. A couple people yelled, "YEAH BLADE!" Those were some of Leo's army buddies, slightly drunk. Leo smiled, then continued. "We have a very special comedic performance today. Could you please put your hands together for…" He paused, nervous. "…the comical stylings of…" He gulped.
"…RaGiff Griffin."
The crowd was about to clap, then stopped, confused. Leo quickly ran offstage. The curtain rose to reveal RaGiff, in a terrible showbiz like pose and wearing a big, stupid smile.
A couple nervous coughs from the crowd. One of the army people yelled, "YOU SUCK!" RaGiff's expression didn't change for a few seconds.
"What happened to Eddie Izzard?" hissed Amy.
"Um…" Sonic started. "His bus…er…blew up. But don't worry, RaGiff's a funny guy. Blade told me he's wanted to do stand up for ages. He's supposed to be hilarious."
"Yo momma's so fat," RaGiff called to the crowd, "a button blew off her jeans and killed a guy!"
Silence.
Amy sighed. It was going to be a long day.
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Okay, got the comedic talent…kind of. Now he needed some music. It had been about a half hour since RaGiff had started.
"Vector!" Leo hissed to the crocodile. Vector turned and slowly walked over to him.
"Why'd you have to interrupt me?" Vector growled. "This guy is great! I loved the yo momma crack with the jeans!"
"Uh…sure Vector, sure. Listen, you, Espio, Charmy, and Mighty feel like playing something?"
"Why not?"
"Good, cuz you're on right after RaGiff."
"What??"
At that instant, the boos began to rain down on RaGiff. People began throwing stuff onstage and yelling notorious, four letter words in his direction. The objects thrown on started with a ping-pong ball, then got as big as a dictionary-sized book.
"And from the looks of it, he's gonna be off soon. Hurry up, before he gets hurt."
"But we don't have any instruments!"
"I don't care, just sing something! Stall 'em!"
"Okay." Vector ran over and talked it over with the other guys. Although Mighty apparently wasn't happy about being interrupted from throwing a particularly large peach at RaGiff, they all brightened up at the idea of performing live. They quickly sprinted through the crowd. Needing a break, Leo walked to the front yard. Sonic was there, too.
"Sorry, man," Leo tried to console.
"Not your fault," Sonic responded. "Still…I wish things had gone better."
"She still loves ya, right?"
Cassie walked in from the front door. "What's up, guys?"
"Sonic's upset 'bout the wedding," Leo responded.
Cassie's face fell. "I'd try to console you, but right now you'd better go help RaGiff. They've tied him to a stake and they're looking for a match."
Before Leo could answer, a bus pulled up and honked. Sonic and Leo ran up to it. Vector had heard the honking and joined them.
"Hey Leo, man, we don't have any-" He stopped when he saw Leo was talking to someone in the bus who looked like a complete goth.
"Dude, you know where the Wachovia Center is?" asked one of the guys. "We're doing a show there, and we-"
"Oh man," Vector cried. "You're Matt Shadows!"
The young man in the bus smiled. "Yep. You want an autograph or something?"
"Wait, you know this guy?" Sonic asked.
"Heck ya! He's the singer for Avenged Sevenfold!"
Matt smiled, pleased that he had a fan.
"Wait, you're a band? You've got a band in there?" Leo asked hurriedly. He had to go get RaGiff down from that stake.
"Yep. We're,"
"You know what you are? You're my freakin' savior!" Sonic yelled. "Can you play here?"
"Sure. When you wanna sign us up for? We'll be in town 'til-"
"NOW!" Sonic shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Dude, Matt, what the hell's goin' on out here?" asked another guy with particularly long hair inside the bus. "How long does it take to get directions around here?"
"Calm down, Zacky," Matt told him.
"Please man, we need you," Sonic begged. "We need a musical act for a wedding reception!"
"I don't know," Matt responded. "We're going to be a bit late as it is…"
"Wait, hold on," said another voice. A tall, scraggly looking man with a beard appeared. "I know you! You're Sonic the Hedgehog, aren't you?"
"Well…yeah!"
"Dude, you're the man!" shouted the third guy. "I'm Sylvester Gates, but call me Synyster, man. Can I get your autograph?"
"I seriously need a favor. Can you guys play for us?" Sonic pleaded.
"Well…" Matt considered.
"Hell yeah!" Synyster cried. "Anything for you, my man! C'mon guys, we're doin' a warm-up gig!"
The bus' motor stopped, and Matt, Synyster, Zacky, and one other guy walked out and opened the trunk. Another guy, still in the car, helped get the stuff out. As they passed by, they introduced themselves.
"Matt Shadows, you know me. I'm the vocalist here."
"'sup. I'm Zacky Vengeance. I play guitar. Nice to get some practice in."
"I'm Synyster Gates, I play guitar. 's an honor to play for you Mr. Sonic."
"I'm Johnny Christ, the bassist." He slapped Sonic five, but the hedgehog was just confused by the name.
"Hey, it's the Rev. I'm the drummer."
"The Rev?" Leo asked.
"Yeah, short for the Reverend."
The band walked to the back, carrying their equipment. Before he disappeared behind the house, Rev turned around. "You might wanna control the fans here. They look like they're gonna hang this one black dude."
Leo sprinted to the back, Cassie following him. Sonic turned to Vector. "The Reverend? Johnny Christ?"
"They've got mock religious names," the crocodile explained.
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Actually, once Leo helped out RaGiff and Avenged Sevenfold got onstage, the reception went nicely. While the band rocked on and got the crowd going with their best metal hits, Sonic and Amy slipped away into Leo's house and the two laid down on the couch together.
"I am so, so sorry for today," Sonic apologized, hoping Amy could forgive him for this disaster of a wedding day.
Amy simply laughed.
"You kidding? This was awesome! It was hilarious! And plus, you got one really awesome band! This was a great day!"
She pushed her head closer to his. "And we're together now. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. Together."
Sonic smiled and kissed her on the top of her head.
"So, when're we leaving for the honeymoon?" she asked.
"As soon as RaGiff lets me borrow the War Machine," Sonic responded.
The two laughed. Then, Sonic became serious.
"Whenever, and wherever you want, Amy."
She thought for a minute. "Mm…I've always wanted to go to Chrostoff." (Chrostoff is the third moon of Mobius)
"And after that, we can go back to Mobius and find us a great house," Sonic told her. "A big 'ol house, with everything you ever wanted…"
"Yeah," Amy said. "But first, I gotta get the rest of my clothes from upstairs." Sonic and the others had all their clothes and stuff packed into the War Machine's trunk. They had more room for it when they got into the carrier. "This gown I picked out is so uncomfortable."
"Well, I'll buy you something great," Sonic consoled, wondering where he was gonna get all this money. But he'd figure out a way. "A great outfit that'll make you even more beautiful than you already are."
"Well, it doesn't have to be that good," she insisted. "Just something that doesn't give me a major wedgie whenever I sit down," she joked.
Sonic sighed happily and nestled her head closer to his. She made a happy sound as well, shut her eyes, and smiled. Sonic squeezed her tighter.
And that was the way it was for the rest of the night. While the guests came, went, and partied outside, Leo's house was all to the two hedgehogs. And they spent that night whispering sweet things in each other's ears, talking of the future, and spending time with their loved one.
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Outside, while the rest of the party-goers, some invited and most not, rocked out with the band, Leo and Cassie watched through the glass window. They were the only two looking at Sonic and Amy.
"Aww…that's so sweet," Cassie sighed. Leo turned to her. She looked so much better and happier than she did on Mobius, but that wasn't too hard. But she was still stunning. Her dark brown hair was combed down so it flowed when she walked, and she was wearing a beautiful blue blouse with a black mini-skirt that came with the blouse.
"Yeah, I guess," Leo responded. He wore a simple tux.
"Oh come on! Tell me you don't think that's great. They love each other!" she tried to convince him. Leo shook his head.
"I guess."
"And speaking of which…What's gonna happen with us?" she hinted, moving closer to him.
Leo grinned. "What are you saying?"
"Well, you know," Cassie explained. "With us. What are we gonna do?"
"Oh, thaaaaat," he said, acting like he had just uncovered some life-changing revelation.
"Stop it!" she laughed back, showing her perfect white teeth. Leo smiled back.
"Stop what?"
"Stop teasing me."
"I'm not teasing you."
"Yes you are! I can tell!"
"Okay, fine," Leo sighed.
"So what about us?"
"You don't give up easily, do you?"
Cassie smiled with her lips shut and shook her head happily.
"Well…actually…"
Blade pulled out a small velvet container from his right pocket. Once he knew he had gotten her attention, he slowly began to open it, revealing a bright, white diamond ring.
"Oh my God…" she whispered.
"Cassie…" Leo began.
"You don't even have to say it!" Cassie shouted back in pure joy. "Yes, YES!"
She jumped into his arms and hugged him so hard he almost started gasping for air. But he hugged her back. The two kissed, and those who could hear what had been going on cheered for the two.
"Don't tell Sonic, okay?" he asked Cassie and the others who knew the blue hedgehog. "I wanna surprise him."
Everyone around him agreed. Leo couldn't see Cassie's face, but the moving he felt on his chest indicated a yes.
"I love you, Leo," she whispered.
"And I do too," chuckled Leo, happily but honestly.
It was a picture perfect ending for both couples.
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Back on Earth, though…
Samson, a large, muscular Scottish man cut his way through the forest with his woodland knife. Stupid mission. Boss had told them to check out "an odd, falling object." But anything that fell into this godforsaken place was doomed anyway..
"C'mon, Bert, I'm not waiting for you anymore." Why couldn't they get any of the fun missions of their group, like some of the actual terroristic attacks? But no, they got the grunt work. Secretly, Samson was working on a plan to get a promotion for sure-or take down some of the higher ranks.
"I'm comin' Sam, I'm coming! God, you expect me to go as fast as you when you have me lifting all the equipment?" moaned Bert, a British member, probably the only British guy in all of the Affinity.
"Just speed it up, will you? Sooner we get through this place, sooner we get to go to sleep." It must've been past two in the morning. The moonlight was the only source of light other than Samson's flashlight. He moved another bush to reveal…
"What the hell is that?"
Something was laying there. Some dead animal, covered in blood and motionless, lay on the grass by a lake. It wasn't a wolf, that was for sure. He walked closer to it and saw red streaks other than blood along its body.
Oh man…
"What you lookin' at Sam?" panted Bert, who had just joined him. Then, Bert got wide-eyed. "I know what that thing is, Sam!"
"So do I Bert, so do I. Get the bag. We're taking it with us."
Bert hurriedly opened his backpack and pulled out a large, green sack. Samson picked up the animal, a dark black hedgehog. He knew the story all too well, like many other people. The space colony ARK, Gerald Robotnik, and Sonic the Hedgehog. He knew what this was. And he knew what it could do.
"You, my friend, are going to make me very, very powerful," Samson laughed heartily.