Mr. and Mrs. Potter

Summary: Harry and Hermione have a marriage full of written rules and regulations. One rule entitles them to ask each other one question per month which the other must answer completely honestly. Hermione asks Harry if he would marry her if he could do it all over again. Harry confides that he misses his freedom. Later that day, an official explains that their marriage is not legal through a technicality. Harry decides to have fun with this fact, but unbeknown to him, the official calls to see Hermione too and disaster results.

Caveat: Yet another story based upon a classic. This is based on the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, 1941 with Carole Lombard and Robert Montgomery. The characters belong to J.K Rowling. Everyone is out of character. This is an experimental piece, so bear with me!

A/N: Please review, I am anxious to hear of your input.

Chapter One: Making Up

If anyone were to look in through the window of Harry and Hermione's bedroom, they could see that everything was turned upside down. Dirty plates were stacked on the table. Scattered newspapers and playing cards were all over the room. A disarrayed looking Harry was sitting on the floor against the couch, quietly playing solitaire on the side of the table. In front of him, an unmade bed with wrinkled sheets moved slightly as some bushy brown hair tossed on the pillow. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Breakfast!" the voice on the other side called out.

Harry got up and climbed over the couch to get the door. While his back was turned, the figure in the bed carefully opened her cinnamon brown eyes to sneak a peak. Harry opened the door just wide enough for Winky to hand him the tray. The elf tried looking through the gap to see what was going on inside. Without a word, Harry swiftly grabbed the tray and closed the door behind him. He carried the tray into the room, stepping over the mess that had accumulated on the floor. Having second thoughts about placing it on the plate filled table, Harry moved over by the bed and sets the tray on the chair by the nightstand.

Hermione, without a word, stubbornly tossed around on the bed with her back towards him. Taking the hint, Harry grabbed a few items from the tray and walked back towards the table.

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"Well what are they doing?" Dolby inquired as soon as Winky returned to the kitchen.

"She's under the blankets, and he's playing cards," she told him.

"You didn't look through the keyhole?" Dolby asked.

"Well you couldn't see anything in there anyways," she replied, "I only listened."

Suddenly the phone rang. Dolby walked over to it and answered, "Potter residence. No, Mr. Weasley, they haven't come out yet. Well they just opened the door for breakfast now but they didn't let out any dishes, and I'm running out of dishes!"

"Well they've been in there for three days already," Ron said on the phone from his office, "What's the longest they've keep this thing up? Eight? Well, has Colin arrived yet?"

"He's just came in," Dolby answered, seeing Colin Creevey coming towards him, "Mr. Weasley," he told the boy as he handed him the phone.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley?" Colin said.

"Now listen Colin, that Quidditch contract's got to be signed. I'm depending on you," he heard Ron say.

"I'll come back with it signed, Mr. Weasley," Colin hung up the phone, "Take me to the room," he ordered Dolby.

The elf led him up the stairs to the door of Harry and Hermione's bedroom. Colin rapped the door softly.

No answer.

He knocked again, a little louder.

No answer.

Frustrated, he banged on the door, "Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter! It's me, Colin! From your manager's office!"

Harry looked up from his game.

"Mr. Weasley says you'll have to sign this. We can't keep postponing your case," Colin continued from the other side of the door.

Dolby tapped him on the arm, "Push it under the door," he whispered.

"I'm putting it under the door Mr. Potter." Colin yelled as he shoved a piece of parchment under the door. After a few seconds, the parchment reappeared. Colin picked it up and examined it, "You signed it in pencil!" he said.

"I don't have a pen," Harry replied.

"It's no good in pencil!" Colin complained.

"Well go over it with a quill!"

"I can't! That's forgery!"

"No its not!"

"But, Mr. Potter," Colin pleaded anxiously, "I'm taking my bar examination next June, and I can't afford to get into trouble!"

After a few moments, the door was pushed slightly ajar. Harry's hand appeared and snapped, "Give me a quill and some ink."

Colin smiled, relieved as he handed him the items from his briefcase. Without a word, Harry quickly signed it and handed it back to him.

"Thank you Mr. Potter," he said as he walked off with Dolby.

Harry peeked out into the hall to make sure they had left. He was about to close the door until he noticed some movement on the bed in the corner of his eye. Turning around, he saw Hermione lying still with her back still towards him.

Suddenly, an idea stuck him. He quietly pushed the door ajar even more and quietly ducked behind the couch. Crouching down, he waved his wand and the door slammed shut.

The sudden noise startled Hermione, and she abruptly straightened up from bed. She carried a look of disappointment as she stared at the door. Harry waited a few minutes before slowly getting up from behind the couch. He smiled happily her reaction. Hermione's face lit up as they made eye contact and her lips curled. In a split second, Harry had already leaped his way to the bed and embraced her tightly.

"Thought I left huh?" he placed his head on top of hers.

"Hmm," Hermione sighed.

"What would you do if I walked out that door?" he asked.

Hermione crinkled her eyebrows.

"Leave me?"

She nodded her head weakly.

"Forever?"

Hermione sighed again, snuggling closer to him, "As long as we live, we'll never change that rule."

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"You know, if every married couple had our rule, there would never be a divorce," she said sagely, "They ought to put it in the marriage ceremony."

She looked at him, "You are not allowed to leave the bedroom after a quarrel, unless you made up. It's that simple. Eventually they'll have to make up!"

"Most professional Quidditch players can't afford to stay away from practice three days at a crack," Harry grinned at her.

"Remember the eight day session?" Hermione recalled, "And the six?"

"There were two sixes," Harry chuckled.

"Two?"

"One Christmas week, and uh, finals week of the World Quidditch matches," he said as Hermione playfully pushed his nose.

"That would have been five and a half," she corrected him, "We started in the afternoon."

Harry sighed and kissed her forehead, "How about some breakfast love?" he suggested affably.

Hermione brought her lips upon his in response.

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One of their usual rituals after making up was for Hermione to shave a very scruffy Harry. He laid down on the bench in the bathroom; face covered in shaving cream and with a towel wrapped around his neck as Hermione worked the blade against his skin.

"--respect for each other as persons, that's our big trick," Hermione said.

"Umm hmm," Harry muttered with his eyes closed.

'Man and woman all right, but person to person, that's important in a marriage too," she continued as she wiped the blade with the towel.

"Mmm hmm."

She pushed his chin to one side, "Here make like this," Hermione demonstrated by blowing up the side of her mouth with air.

Harry imitated her as she continued shaving the side of his face, "You know I think we would be friends if we were men or women don't you?"

"Mm hmm."

"Respect for each other as individuals, that's what counts," she said, "Always telling the truth no matter what the consequences. You know I think if we told each other just one lie, we'd have to admit we'd fail wouldn't we?"

"Umm hmm," His eyes now closed again.

"And then what would we have left?" Hermione concluded, "Marriage like other people's. Doubt, distrust, going along with each other because it's the easiest way."

"Mmm hmm."

She rubbed his face, "Your barber is shaving too close," she mentioned, "You should talk to him.

"Mmmright," Harry muttered.

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After they had both showered and dressed, they made their way down to the dining area where Winky had already set up a nice little table for them.

"You know, it was all my fault," Hermione said as she scraped the burnt off of her toast.

"No, my dear, it was mine," Harry took a sip of his tea.

"My fault, dear," she repeated.

He shook his head, "Mine, darling. I shouldn't be jealous so much, and I should lay off your family."

"Umm hmm," she replied, dropping the subject, "What's the date today?"

"Um, darling," Harry glanced at his watch, "I think I better be running along." He started to get up from his seat.

"Oh no honey, not just yet," Hermione objected gently, "Remember, rule number seven."

He sank back down to his chair resignedly, "Yes, but I thought we'd given that one up. It always got us into so much trouble."

"But if we ever give one up, it means we're giving up just that much of our wonderful relationship," she argued, "That we're letting down, you wouldn't want me to feel that, would you?"

"But those questions you ask each month!" Harry protested. It wasn't going to be any use, though; he knew that expression on Hermione's face too well.

"All right, shoot," he conceded warily.

Hermione leaned forward, and her eyes, never larger, never more wistfully brown, looked straight into his, "If you had it all to do over again," she asked very slowly, very clearly, "Would you have married me?"

Harry gave the question a moment of concentrated, intensive study, during which his face went from thoughtfulness to contemplated evasion, then suddenly wore the look of a man who is about to take a dizzying plunge. "Honestly," he replied, taking a deep breath, "Honestly, no."

The moment of silence was broken only by the sharp sound of Hermione's indrawn breath.

"Not that I'd want to marry anyone else," he explained seriously, "But," he paused, searching for the precise words he so desperately needed right now. He leaned forward, his eyes solemn, "The point, is that a man gives up so much when he is married," he continued, "Privacy and independence and, well, I think if I had to do it over again, I'd stay single."

Inescapably aware then of the supercharged silence, the stunned look on Hermione's face, he reminded her with conciliatory haste, "Now honey, you wanted me to tell you the truth because we respect each other, to be honest with each other. Your feelings aren't hurt are they?"

"Oh no," she assured him, too quickly, in a breathless little voice that had gone colorless, "It's perfectly all right."

"That's enough of that," Harry muttered, "Getting into trouble."

"I'm not angry in the least," Hermione forced a smile.

Harry noticed her strained expression, "Oh yes you are! You don't understand!" he exclaimed, "I was merely answering a hypothetical question of what I would do if I had to do it all over again."

Hermione looked down, eyes bleak, mouth tremulous, "Harry, if you want your freedom, I don't want to be the kind of wife who clings to a husband when she's not wanted," she told him bravely.

"Darling, but I do want to be married to you. I love you. I worship you. I'm used to you!" he groaned, "How do we always get into these things?"

"If my only hold on you is that you're use to me--"Hermione started to say.

"Darling," he interjected with remorseful tenderness, "You've got the whole thing wrong! I don't know what I do without you- I-," Harry stopped abruptly as he saw how close she was to tears. He rushed around the table and took her into his arms and held her close, "I wouldn't know what to do without you. I'm crazy about you! I didn't mean anything I said. Forgive me. Say you forgive me!" he pleaded.

There were a number of long kisses later before she relaxed against him, before her lips curved a little in answer to his beguiling, imploring smile.

"Now may I go to practice?" he gave her a puppy dog face.

Hermione nodded. They were in each other's arms until they reached the door.

"I'll come back early," Harry assured her, "And I mean early."

"Don't work too hard dear," she told him.

He gave her a farewell kiss before leaving through the door.

Thanks for reading! Please review, and tell me what you think!