Hey, people, this came to me while I was cleaning my room. Not sure what
you'll think, but I'm having fun with it, so enjoy. And if you plan on
flaming or end up flaming, I could really care less because all 23 of my
muses will have loads of fun. But do try and be original about it. 1) If
you are annoyed because it's 'unrealistic' note that this is PARODY. 2) If
it's 'so stupid' that you 'didn't even read it' then how do you know it's
stupid? 3) Don't even bother telling me not to write anymore because I love
to write and I'm not about to fire 23 muses.
Disclaimer: Je ne possede pas aucun de ces caracteres. Je possedent seulement mes muses. Je ne possede pas meme cette traduction.que je ne parle pas francais! (yes I know that's kind of messed up but I got it off of a website, ok??)
Scene: FOTR - After the fight at Amon Hen. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are beside the lake.river.thing.
Legolas shoved a boat into the water. "Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the Eastern shore!"
"Nuh-uh, girl friend!" Aragorn said, in a distinctly feminine voice.somewhat similar to Arwen's, when Legolas thought about it. The elf looked at his friend. He twitched.
Aragorn coughed. "Erm.sorry. Right. Umm.what's my line? Oh.let's go like, hunt some orc!" The last bit was said in that Arwen-voice again. Legolas was really getting creeped out.
Scene: Arwen and Elrond in Rivendell. Elrond is trying to convince Arwen to go to the Grey Havens.
"Go Valinor, sweetie! Please! And.um.take a bath. You stink." Elrond admonished his daughter.
"But I'm going for the rugged, outdoorsy look."
"Arwen."
"What?"
"What did you do?"
"Like, nothing, Daddy! And like oh my gawd, I visited Aragorn in this like, dream and like."
Elrond breathed a sigh of relief. He had though.but no, he wouldn't think about it. That would be awful.
"And like, anyway, I told him."
"Dude, Arwen. Like, shut up!" This came from Elladan, who was walking by with Elrohir.
"Umm, like, no! I'm telling Daddy about Aragorn. Now tell me." Arwen leaned forward. "How's my stubble? Nice and manly?"
Elladan and Elrohir chose to ignore this. "Do you want to go piss off ol' Legsie's dad?" Elrohir asked.
"Sure, man," his twin replied.
"No! Elladan! Elrohir! Come back here." Elrond gave up, but sighed. Thranduil was going to be really pissed at him. In one way or another, the twins always seemed to manage to bother Thranduil in some way. Even worse was when they teamed up with Legolas. Why, they had even teamed up with Legolas and Aragorn once! That had been awful.Elrond decided that he was very glad that Legolas and Aragorn had decided to go on the Quest. Besides, that gave him time to convince Arwen to go to Valinor.though she was being annoyingly stubborn. Then again, Arwen was always annoying. Elrond always noticed his drug intake decrease whenever Arwen was in Lorien with Galadriel and Celeborn. Maybe Galadriel could convince her.yes.
"Arwen?"
"Yes?"
"How would you like to visit your grandmother?"
"Sure! She's hot!"
"Arwen."
"Erm.sure, Dad. Of course."
Elrond breathed another sigh of relief.
"Ok. You're leaving in twenty minutes, then."
"I could go now."
"Arwen, that dress is probably one of the most inappropriate for traveling I've ever seen."
"But it'll get all dirty and look rugged and manly."
"Fine. Leave. But leave now! Glorfindel's on the warpath."
"That wasn't my fault. Peter Jackson wanted more romance or something. Glorfindel should take his case to him."
"What about Tom Bombadil?"
"Like, what about him?"
"Well.Peter Jackson left him out as well."
"I like, don't care, Daddy. Can I leave?"
"Yes. Namaarie, tinuamin."
"Namaarie, atar."
She left, swaggering around in a distinctly masculine way. Elrond shook his head. Something definitely wasn't right here.but Galadriel would figure it out. For a minute, he considered telepathing her to let her know, but decided that Haldir needed something to do. Although he did plan on getting Galadriel to send him to Aragorn's and Rohan's aid, if need be. And there would be. He did have the gift of foresight, after all. He just prayed that Arwen would never foresee anything. What if she saw her son? Elrond sighed. He really needed some stress relief.
"Celebrian?"
"What? Where are those sons of yours? Have they gone off to Mirkwood again?"
"I don't know. But something's wrong with Arwen."
"We knew that."
"No, I mean really wrong. She keeps saying things that sound much more like Aragorn than Arwen."
"Aragorn?"
"Estel."
"He changed his name?" "No. That's his real name."
"Oh! That's right. Silly me. Anyway, what were you saying? Arwen?"
"Never mind."
Scene: Plains of Rohan.
"Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?" Aragorn yelled.
"The Uruks turn northeast! They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Legolas shouted back.
"Ew, isn't Isengard like, really dirty?"
"Aragorn."
"What?"
"You sound like Arwen."
"Who's Arwen?" Gimli interrupted.
"His.umm." Legolas looked at Aragorn for the appropriate term.
"Like, the hottest elf chick ever!" Aragorn said, tossing his hair. "Ew, I like, must wash my hair!"
"I thought you weren't washing your hair until you became - ow!" Legolas hit Gimli. "What?"
"I'll explain later," the elf hissed back. Aragorn was looking at them.
"What?" Legolas said. "C'mon, we should go."
"But like, Leggy!"
"Aragorn."
"Sorry."
Legolas sincerely hoped that that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it was not. After another day of Aragorn switching between Aragorn mannerisms and Arwen mannerisms, Legolas had had enough. He spoke to Gimli in private and they agreed to send word to Elrond, Galadriel, and Elrond.
"What about, uh, your father?" Gimli asked Legolas after the letters were sent.
"Are you kidding? If he is sober by the time Frodo ditches the you-know- what I'll be very much surprised. That, and the fact that I have a feeling Elladan and Elrohir will be paying him a visit."
"Who?"
"Elrond's twin sons. Sometimes they visit and well, we get up to.things. And Thranduil gets really mad. Once Aragorn joined us, too. That was fun!" Legolas sighed. Thranduil would not be happy when he discovered that Legolas hadn't written to him, but he would have to get over that. Legolas made a mental note to bring his father some very good, strong wine.
Scene: Lorien
"Hey, Galadriel! I'm like, here!" Arwen called. She had just stepped into Lothlorien. Suddenly Haldir appeared. "Mae govannen, Haldir. You are most welcome." Arwen said to him.
"Erm.right. Ok, the thing is, we weren't really expecting you and - Lady Arwen?"
Arwen looked up from running her fingers through her hair and on her chin. "I like, so have to get a bath, what was I thinking? It feels like Arry's hair, ugh!"
"Oookkk. Look, the thing is, Lady Arwen, that you're supposed to come with me," Haldir said firmly. He was really getting creeped out. Sure, Arwen's hair did look a lot like Aragorn's.but he had never heard of a day in all of Arwen's 3,000+ years that she hadn't washed her hair and body, something the younger male elves liked quite a lot. And if her hair was resembling Aragorn's, well, Haldir didn't know anything for sure, but he had heard that from the day Estel, as he was known then, was informed of his true name and heritage, he had made a vow to not wash his hair until he was king, except on very important occasions. Haldir sighed and he led Arwen to her normal suite in Lorien. Maybe he would go talk to Orophin and Rumil.
Disclaimer: Je ne possede pas aucun de ces caracteres. Je possedent seulement mes muses. Je ne possede pas meme cette traduction.que je ne parle pas francais! (yes I know that's kind of messed up but I got it off of a website, ok??)
Scene: FOTR - After the fight at Amon Hen. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are beside the lake.river.thing.
Legolas shoved a boat into the water. "Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the Eastern shore!"
"Nuh-uh, girl friend!" Aragorn said, in a distinctly feminine voice.somewhat similar to Arwen's, when Legolas thought about it. The elf looked at his friend. He twitched.
Aragorn coughed. "Erm.sorry. Right. Umm.what's my line? Oh.let's go like, hunt some orc!" The last bit was said in that Arwen-voice again. Legolas was really getting creeped out.
Scene: Arwen and Elrond in Rivendell. Elrond is trying to convince Arwen to go to the Grey Havens.
"Go Valinor, sweetie! Please! And.um.take a bath. You stink." Elrond admonished his daughter.
"But I'm going for the rugged, outdoorsy look."
"Arwen."
"What?"
"What did you do?"
"Like, nothing, Daddy! And like oh my gawd, I visited Aragorn in this like, dream and like."
Elrond breathed a sigh of relief. He had though.but no, he wouldn't think about it. That would be awful.
"And like, anyway, I told him."
"Dude, Arwen. Like, shut up!" This came from Elladan, who was walking by with Elrohir.
"Umm, like, no! I'm telling Daddy about Aragorn. Now tell me." Arwen leaned forward. "How's my stubble? Nice and manly?"
Elladan and Elrohir chose to ignore this. "Do you want to go piss off ol' Legsie's dad?" Elrohir asked.
"Sure, man," his twin replied.
"No! Elladan! Elrohir! Come back here." Elrond gave up, but sighed. Thranduil was going to be really pissed at him. In one way or another, the twins always seemed to manage to bother Thranduil in some way. Even worse was when they teamed up with Legolas. Why, they had even teamed up with Legolas and Aragorn once! That had been awful.Elrond decided that he was very glad that Legolas and Aragorn had decided to go on the Quest. Besides, that gave him time to convince Arwen to go to Valinor.though she was being annoyingly stubborn. Then again, Arwen was always annoying. Elrond always noticed his drug intake decrease whenever Arwen was in Lorien with Galadriel and Celeborn. Maybe Galadriel could convince her.yes.
"Arwen?"
"Yes?"
"How would you like to visit your grandmother?"
"Sure! She's hot!"
"Arwen."
"Erm.sure, Dad. Of course."
Elrond breathed another sigh of relief.
"Ok. You're leaving in twenty minutes, then."
"I could go now."
"Arwen, that dress is probably one of the most inappropriate for traveling I've ever seen."
"But it'll get all dirty and look rugged and manly."
"Fine. Leave. But leave now! Glorfindel's on the warpath."
"That wasn't my fault. Peter Jackson wanted more romance or something. Glorfindel should take his case to him."
"What about Tom Bombadil?"
"Like, what about him?"
"Well.Peter Jackson left him out as well."
"I like, don't care, Daddy. Can I leave?"
"Yes. Namaarie, tinuamin."
"Namaarie, atar."
She left, swaggering around in a distinctly masculine way. Elrond shook his head. Something definitely wasn't right here.but Galadriel would figure it out. For a minute, he considered telepathing her to let her know, but decided that Haldir needed something to do. Although he did plan on getting Galadriel to send him to Aragorn's and Rohan's aid, if need be. And there would be. He did have the gift of foresight, after all. He just prayed that Arwen would never foresee anything. What if she saw her son? Elrond sighed. He really needed some stress relief.
"Celebrian?"
"What? Where are those sons of yours? Have they gone off to Mirkwood again?"
"I don't know. But something's wrong with Arwen."
"We knew that."
"No, I mean really wrong. She keeps saying things that sound much more like Aragorn than Arwen."
"Aragorn?"
"Estel."
"He changed his name?" "No. That's his real name."
"Oh! That's right. Silly me. Anyway, what were you saying? Arwen?"
"Never mind."
Scene: Plains of Rohan.
"Legolas! What do your elf-eyes see?" Aragorn yelled.
"The Uruks turn northeast! They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!" Legolas shouted back.
"Ew, isn't Isengard like, really dirty?"
"Aragorn."
"What?"
"You sound like Arwen."
"Who's Arwen?" Gimli interrupted.
"His.umm." Legolas looked at Aragorn for the appropriate term.
"Like, the hottest elf chick ever!" Aragorn said, tossing his hair. "Ew, I like, must wash my hair!"
"I thought you weren't washing your hair until you became - ow!" Legolas hit Gimli. "What?"
"I'll explain later," the elf hissed back. Aragorn was looking at them.
"What?" Legolas said. "C'mon, we should go."
"But like, Leggy!"
"Aragorn."
"Sorry."
Legolas sincerely hoped that that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it was not. After another day of Aragorn switching between Aragorn mannerisms and Arwen mannerisms, Legolas had had enough. He spoke to Gimli in private and they agreed to send word to Elrond, Galadriel, and Elrond.
"What about, uh, your father?" Gimli asked Legolas after the letters were sent.
"Are you kidding? If he is sober by the time Frodo ditches the you-know- what I'll be very much surprised. That, and the fact that I have a feeling Elladan and Elrohir will be paying him a visit."
"Who?"
"Elrond's twin sons. Sometimes they visit and well, we get up to.things. And Thranduil gets really mad. Once Aragorn joined us, too. That was fun!" Legolas sighed. Thranduil would not be happy when he discovered that Legolas hadn't written to him, but he would have to get over that. Legolas made a mental note to bring his father some very good, strong wine.
Scene: Lorien
"Hey, Galadriel! I'm like, here!" Arwen called. She had just stepped into Lothlorien. Suddenly Haldir appeared. "Mae govannen, Haldir. You are most welcome." Arwen said to him.
"Erm.right. Ok, the thing is, we weren't really expecting you and - Lady Arwen?"
Arwen looked up from running her fingers through her hair and on her chin. "I like, so have to get a bath, what was I thinking? It feels like Arry's hair, ugh!"
"Oookkk. Look, the thing is, Lady Arwen, that you're supposed to come with me," Haldir said firmly. He was really getting creeped out. Sure, Arwen's hair did look a lot like Aragorn's.but he had never heard of a day in all of Arwen's 3,000+ years that she hadn't washed her hair and body, something the younger male elves liked quite a lot. And if her hair was resembling Aragorn's, well, Haldir didn't know anything for sure, but he had heard that from the day Estel, as he was known then, was informed of his true name and heritage, he had made a vow to not wash his hair until he was king, except on very important occasions. Haldir sighed and he led Arwen to her normal suite in Lorien. Maybe he would go talk to Orophin and Rumil.