To Feel and to Love

By:  flitter bug

Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King or any of their characters.  Title and story components are mine.

Intro a/n: I know, I know…another YohxAnna one shot…I can't help it, I get these ideas just before I become fully awake in the morning, and by the time I am, I forget half of what I thought of…ack, well, I tried to remember all the details, so forgive me if you don't understand some of this…these things kind of just hit me out of the blue, so yeah…*looks away* read on…

Dedicated to all Yoh x Anna fans…

It was one of those nights where one could just sit there on the porch and watch the stars in the clear, dark sky.  Asakura Yoh and his fiancée were found sitting on the roof, staring up at the blanket of diamonds.  The moon seemed gigantic that very night, full and luminous against the darkness. 

"Man, the moon looks so big, I could eat it…" he said happily.

Waiting for Anna's remark, he looked over to her but got no reply. She looked deep in thought.

"Anna…?  What's wrong?"

She finally glanced over to him, and reassured him. "I'm fine Yoh."

Unconvinced, Yoh was about to nudge towards her, but she sensed his move and tried to move away.  Unfortunately, she was so uncoordinated tonight that she slipped, and slid down the roof. 

"ANNA!" Yoh acted quickly and grabbed her arm just before she slipped off the edge entirely.

There she was, the famous cold and emotionless itako, hanging from a rooftop edge with her fiancé desperately hanging onto her.  Carefully, Yoh expertly pulled her back onto the roof safely.  Thank the stars that she had trained him to become so strong physically, and mentally.

"Are you okay??"

Her wrist was a little sore, but all in all, she was just a little panicked.  "I'm fine."

She got up with the help of Yoh, and stepped back into the window and into his room. Yoh followed her, and knew that she was brooding about something big.  Of course he knew better than to bother her about it and get his head barked off, so he remained off the subject and decided to wait until she was ready to confront him about it.

Already in a comfortable t-shirt and the usual pants, Yoh felt mildly drowsy from all the day's activities.  He sat down on his mat and rested his eyes for a minute.  Anna was still there, leaning against the wall by his paper door, once again in deep thought.

She knew he was waiting for her.

"I…" how do I start? "I…don't know if I can feel emotions…"

So that was it…Yoh opened his eyes and gently smiled at her.

"What makes you think you can't?"

She stood on her feet, leaning no more, and faced him.

"I'm an itako Yoh, I'm not supposed to feel."

"Who said that?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she walked over to him and sat down on the mat to the right of him.

He looked at her and leaned his head onto the left side of her chest.  Before she could slap him away and accuse him of being a pervert, he answered.

"I can hear your heart, so I'm pretty sure you can feel…"

She looked at him skeptically. "Yoh, having a heart doesn't mean you can feel emotions…"

"Aw come on Anna…think about it…haven't you ever felt mad at me for not listening to you?  Or nervous before a spirit ritual?  Evil when plotting training techniques for me?  Lonely when no one's around?  Confident with your powers?  Haven't you ever felt happy?"

She paused to take in everything he just said.  Yes, she had felt these things.  She had felt angry when he disobeyed her, sad when he forgot to say goodnight, worried when he didn't come home on time, lonely when he wasn't there, proud when he finished her training and won the battles, and happy…happy when she knew he wouldn't let her down.

He interrupted her thoughts.  "Can you tell me you've never felt these things?"

"…I have felt them."

"See. Good, so now…" he leaned in closer, "you can feel how close we are…and this."

He kissed her sweetly on the lips for a few seconds, and then pulled back.  She didn't even have time to register in her mind what was happening before he pulled away. 

"You know, it's funny Anna," he leaned back until he was lying on the tatami mat with his hands beneath his head. 

She blinked and calmly asked, "What is?"

"That you're actually learning from me this time."

She furrowed her brows.  "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's usually you I learn from," he patted the space next to him, signaling her to lie down.

Slowly, she leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for him to continue.

"I've learned a lot of things from you Anna," he closed his eyes and thought back to life before she came. "I learned that there's more to life than just lying around the hill, watching clouds go by." He then thought of life after she arrived, "That I can do a lot more than I ever dreamed of…" And who could forget the training? "…I learned that 50 km is a REALLY long distance.  That cooking really isn't so bad.  That the marketplace is at least a half hour walk from here. That there's great truth to 'no pain, no gain.'" And of course… "And that defying Kyouyama Anna is not worth the trouble…and DEFINITELY not worth the pain…"

He stole a glance at her and saw her smile.  He propped his head up on his hand, elbow on the mat, lying on his right. She noticed his position and did the same on her left side so that they were facing each other.

"And I learned that you look really beautiful when you smile…"

That caught her off guard.  He smiled at her and continued.

"I've also learned how to love someone so much, it just doesn't seem possible to stop."

She looked up at the ceiling and thought about his last statement for a bit.  She then looked back at him.

"I've learned that too."

He smiled once more, and she allowed herself to do the same.  The couple lied back and she allowed him to hug her close. She tucked her head beneath his chin and his hand found hers as they both fell asleep. 

In the gist of all that is being done, and that of which has been done, love can be found weaved into each and every action.  Individually, people can learn a great deal from others about love, but it is only when they are together, that love can truly be both learned and felt.

End

Outro a/n:  okay…yeah, that was weird…and plot-less.  I know I said I had an ExT fic coming, and I'm damn well trying, but it's not as easy as it looks!! *pleads* well…it isn't for me anyway. I'm gonna end up banging my head on the wall, racking my mind out for inspiration. aii..well, work is really catching up to me *condemns school* and well…my updates are rare enough let alone new stories…so yeah, as soon as Halley's comet is spotted, let me know and I'll have a new story up just for you. =]

-- It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow…