Disclaimer etc see Chapter 1

New York City

May 24, 1.15 p.m.

It was the same bench on which they had sat almost a year ago. At that point they had both believed that they had reached the end, that it was finally over. They had upheld the facade even though both had known that they didn't want it to be over, but that the world had forced them to because too much was at stake, Samantha had been more ready to see the truth than he had. That was clear to him now. It had taken a long time to realize. Too long. Would he have ever seen the way he did today of nothing would ever have happened If their lives would have run in the same quite ways that they always did? Maybe. There was no way of knowing, even though he had asked himself that very question in different guises hundreds of time, he was no closer to finding answers. The closest he had come to finding an answer was to see that it didn't really matter at all. No power could change what had happened. The challenge was in seeing that and dealing with it. He wasn't sure that Samantha had. Sure she had seemed like in the courtroom and later on, but although he had spoken to her they had yet to actually talk. Five months had passed since that icy morning in December and the memory was still as clear as if it had happened yesterday. He recalled every word of their last conversation. They hadn't parted ways on the best of terms. He scanned the crowds traversing the sidewalk nervously searching for Samantha. Deep down fearing that she would not come, that she would turn away again. He could not blame her. There were bound to be many memories here, reminding her of what she had lost. But the he spotted her, it was a familiar sight. Her hair in a bun, wearing a black coat. He had seen her hundreds of times just like this. She spotted him, smiled broadly and sped up her pace.

"Sorry, I'm a bit late, I guess I didn't't think there would be so may people on the street. Like I could ever forget about the traffic."

"That is certainly not what I would miss most."

"Me neither." She sat down on the bench and he joined her.

Neither of them spoke, but the silence wasn't the uncomfortable kind. It was more of an understand which so often between them worked without the spoken word being exchanged. It was like it had always been, even though everything had changed, one thing it hadn't changed one bit. Their feelings were still the same. Not even Samantha's five month long absence had changed that. Jack still wasn't sure where they stood. She had come back to the city two weeks ago to act as a witness in the trial of the former Agent Robinson and several other people involved with his criminal activities. It had been Samantha's testimony that had played a vital part in convicting Robinson for the kidnapping. But that had been the only charge that had stuck. He had been found not guilty for the murders of Diane Durkin, Lydia Atkinson and Sina Atkinson. Maybe he really was innocent. That was what he had been claiming all along, but he had not offered the name of the killer. The man they had come across in their investigation as Liam Kendall or Markus Feldman had remained a mystery and would probably always be. Jack had his theory, but it was just that, a theory without any proof to back it up.

"So what are you going to do?" He didn't specify the context , leaving it open for Samantha to take the question any way she wanted to take it.

"I don't know. Samantha said, sounding a bit lost. I want to come back, but I'm not sure I can. "

Jack was immeasurably relived. He had missed Samantha, but he had hardly dared to dream of her ever coming back to the FBI.

"Samantha, if you want this, then there are plenty of people who'll support you and help you. Just so that you, the entire team would support your return."

"It's not that. I'm not sure I'm ready for it." She paused, hung her head then smiled. "You know, if you had told me a year ago that I would say this one day, I'd not have believed you. "

"What happened was beyond what anyone could foresee."

"I know, beyond probability, but every little piece set it all into motion and I never saw a thing. I should have realized what was going on." He said feeling the need to apologize, The guilt had not waned in five months, it had just been buried beneath the day to day requirements of life. He doubted that it would ever disappear. Samantha was right, she had changed. Even though he had only seen her for less than an hour, it was clear that he confidence had take a blow, that she was more reflective, quicker to question her feelings., That would certainly not stand in the way of her being a good agent. May be it would even prevent her from making a rash decision one day. But as much as he wanted to, he too had to face the doubts that Samantha was having, What if she would not be able to handle an event in the field. If there was one thing the nightmares had told him tit was that personal feelings made for poor professional judgment, he had once made the wrong choice and sent her out into a dangerous situation when she had not been ready and the consequences had been devastating for not just her but for those around her as well. He didn't want to make the same mistake again.
"I want to try it, I want to come back. " She suddenly said with newfound recrimination in her voice, It was the determination he was used to hearing in her. It was the old Sam. Maybe there was less of a difference than he had thought. Maybe she had changed the least of all. But it didn't matter. He knew that he was going to back her up the moments she had said the word.
"Good. I was hoping that you would. I'll talk to Van Doran tomorrow. Officially you're still on medical leave. You'll probably have to be re-evaluated before being allowed back in the field, but other than that, there should be no problems."

"Thank you." Samantha said. "Thanks for everything."

"Are you free for lunch?" he had asked the question before realizing what he was doing. Given their history this might be a bad move, especially when Samantha was planning to rejoin the Missing Persons Team.

"Sure. I'm only in the big city for the day, remember Jack?" She said jokingly.

"Seeing her in such a good mood, especially now that the weight seemed to have been lifted, made him happier than anything had in a long time. It left a far better feeling than the semi-justice they had won in court. The justice had come with a bitter aftertaste because for every person that had been brought to justice many more had gotten away with their crimes, secure in the knowledge that money and power had and would protect them from facing the music. But in the end justice did not matter so much to him. It was important, it was what he believed in, but truth was that justice was not why he got out of bed and made it to work everyday, he did that for the hope of finding someone alive, It was about the victims, not the criminals. He had to do them justice. Samantha seemed to have found some form of justice for herself.
"Okay, then let's eat. Any place you have missed in particular?"

"In fact I have. Il Parioli. We have been there a few times."

They had eaten there together on several occasions and more often than not, dinner there had been leading up to a passionate night.

"We've haven't been there in a while, I think today is the perfect occasion."
"To celebrate a victory." he added quickly, not sure whether Samantha would not take him the wrong way.

"Not only that." A shadow flew over her face. It's an occasion be with a special person that I have really missed while I was away."

Il Parioli, New York City

May 24, 2 p.m.

They were half-way through lunch when the conversation returned to the case that had just been dealt with in court. The trial might have been over but Samantha still had questions. There was a lot she didn't know. All she had done was testify to the events that had taken place the night she and Danny had been kidnapped.

"So what happened? Why did Robinson stand trial?" She asked Jack who had been on a mission to bring down the men behind the killings.

"I did what you told me." he smiled. "I talked to Victor Fitzgerald again. It took some work, but along with your statement I managed to convince him to actively pursue the search for Robinson. In the end it was his wife who gave him up. He was hiding out in Canada. He never said anything, expect that he was innocent. The FBI started pressuring other Agents he had been working with. They were offered deals that if they came forward with information, there would be no charged against them. Finally the medical examiner who had done Rita Severin's autopsy came forward. He admitted that he had been taking bribes from Robinson in exchange for covering up evidence. They exhumed Rita's body, but it was to late to proof that it was murder."

"Robinson did it. He should have gone down for murder." Samantha said angrily.

"Yes, he should have. But he didn't. He got away with a lot of things. He will get out of prison one day, that's what worries me. But luckily it will be a while before that."

"I know it doesn't matter now, but what happened really? I remember you said you knew who was behind it all." Samantha paused. "I was wrong not to help you. It was all too much for me at that time. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I was wrong to ask. You were right to tell me that I had lost my objectivity. It was true. I actually should have seen it from the start that it was something personal when I got that first threatening letter. By that time we had not uncovered anything that got us close to anyone, so there was no point in trying to scare us off. From then it just continued. More threat notes. Then the car bomb with the faulty trigger. If it had been a really sharp bomb, Vivian and I would have been killed for sure. Anyone with access to these explosives would have been able to make sure that we didn't survive. And that is what any larger organized crime syndicate would have intended. I could have realized that this was not what we were dealing with.

As soon as I suspected that it was him, I asked Lydia Atkinson's parents for a picture of her first husband. It was Carlyle with whom I had worked when he was still with the FBI. He was using the alias Markus Feldman at the time. And we know that Markus Feldman and Liam Kendall are the same person."

"But there is one thing I don't understand. How did it all get started?"

"Lydia Atkinson probably knew of her husband's dirty drug business from the time they were still married. Maybe she had even acquired a taste for the occasional high herself. But she also knew how dangerous those people were. So she used her friend Diane Durkin to get at the drugs or at a story. After all she was a journalist and her computer was never recovered. There is really no way to know what she was really up to. We know for sure that she was paying Diane for whatever she was doing. That involved the club Aragon. Diane went there the night she died and probably bought drugs from someone connected to Carlyle. They left together, but there was a disagreement on the way out to the cottage in the woods. Diane got out of the car and was run over by the driver. They dragged her into the woods. The driver probably told Carlyle about what had happened and they tried to clean up the mess. They called the police to report the car as stolen and shot Diane to make sure that she wasn't found alive by some motorist. I don't think it ever started out with the plan to kill Diane. But when she didn't return Lydia panicked. She probably suspected that Diane was dead. But before she could leave, Carlyle got to her. That would explain that there was no evidence of a break in. She knew her ex-husband and thought he wouldn't hurt her. But he kidnapped them both and then killed them. That's probably where Robinson entered the whole mess. By that time Carlyle knew that we were onto him and had already found the cottage in the woods. He needed another place to hide the bodies. He had Robinson burry them in North Carolina. It was risky since we were bound to show up there as well, but Carlyle left that part for Robinson to handle, I suspect. It was probably him who hired the sniper that tried to kill you and Martin."

"Yeah, he was at the trial as well. I was surprised that he didn't know who hired him. But Robinson was smart enough to do that anonymously."

"He was actually pretty smart in the beginning. It was only later that he started making mistakes. He panicked when he realized that he had gone too far and that Rita Severin was on to him. There he had no longer a choice, he had to get rid of her and then of two witnesses. That was not part of the plan. That's why he had to call Carlyle in the phone call that you overheard. Unfortunately we have nothing to proof that."

"It's unfair." Samantha said bitterly. "I guess the only reason why they didn't kill us outright was because they figured they might be able to use us as leverage in case something went it wrong." While she had been enjoying her dessert, she suddenly felt rather sick. The wealth of information had been a bit much.

"Are you all right?" Jack saw that she suddenly looked unwell.

Jack Malone's apartment, New York City

May 24, 5 p.m.

They has somehow found their way back to his apartment. They had not particularly made there way there, somehow what had started as casual stroll, an aimless wander through the city had taken them both back to Jack's apartment. This was the first time Samantha ever was inside Jack's apartment. She had learned from Maria that he had moved out, but she had forgotten it until now. She had never seen his family home. When they had spent an evening together, it had usually started in restaurant and then ended in her apartment. His place had always been out of the question. Not so much because he was married. Maria and the children were absent quite often on week-end when they were visiting Maria's mother who lived upstate. But they had never considered going there. Sa, had always felt uncomfortable at the thought of intruding in his married life and he had never suggest the venue. Now that he was living separated, there was no more reason why she shouldn't. As she had expected, it was simply. Jack didn't spend a lot of time in his apartment, so aesthetic considerations were not foremost. She only fully realized that after moving out of the city that aspects of decoration mattered fare more when one actually spend time at home instead of working sixteen hours a day. When she used to come home exhausted, it had simply not mattered to her how exactly her living room looked. She had plenty of other things demanding her time and energy.

"Now, that you're here to stay, there is something I have been meaning to give you. I wanted to return it to you for a while, but never got the chance." Jack got up and reached for the cardboard box which was still sitting on the top shelf, in the same spot as he had put it five months ago. Now that Samantha was back, he could finally take it down. Samantha followed his movement with her eyes. He sat down the box in front of her. She didn't touch it, but eyed it curiously then looked up at him, a question on her face.

"When you were missing.." he broke off then begun again. When they had called off the search.." he halted again, unable to find ten right words, a way to say this without giving her the impression that he had given up on her, had given up hope and surrendered to the belief that she was gone.

"Vivian cleaned out your desk. Your mother didn't want your things, so she gave them to me. I kept them, just in case."

He pushed the box closer to her side of the table. Samantha lifted the lid and examined the contents, if she was eyeing all this for the first time. She took out the nameplate. She had strange look on her face, sadness, with a hint of fear. Jack was starting to wonder whether this had been the right time for this, She had seen in such a good mood, back to her old self, he didn't want to reopen any barely healed wounds.

The nameplate was heavy. Its surface felt cool and smooth to the touch. Special Agent Samantha Spade. She read out the inscription. It had been a while, since she had been Special Agent Samantha Space. Special Agents. Was she still the same person? In spit of her new-found determination that question still plagued her.

"You think that is still me?" she blurted out, verbalizing the question she had only fully realized a moment ago.

Of course jack replied and put his hands on her shoulders. You're still the same person, you just have grown with experience, good and bad experience. But nobody can ever take away who you are. You're still a good agents." Samantha didn't reply, she set the nameplate down on the table. She returned her attention to the remaining items in the cardboard box. She took out the flyer which had caught jack's attention when he had first spotted it, She carefully unfolded the appear, as if not sure what to expect. As she looked at it her expression changed, from curious to a blank, seemingly far away, lost impression. Whatever it was, seeing the flyer must have triggered something in her and from what it looked like it was not a happy memory.

"He lived down the street from his, His sister and \I were best friends. Her parents had gone to see friends and were babysitting him. He was asleep upstairs, we were down in the living room watching TV. We had the best time, we were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. Two friends came over around midnight. I don't know much of what happened after that. We got really drunk. I only woke up the next morning when my friend's parents noticed that Steven was missing from his bedroom. There was no sign of a break-in. He was never found. At the time, I didn't blame myself, but later." Samantha broke off.

"I'm sorry." Jack said softly and pulled her into a hug.

Jack Malone's apartment, New York City

May 25, 5.30 a.m.

The sun was rising, reflecting off of the myriad of mirror windows on the buildings downtown. Slowly the first rays of sun cast into the room, falling onto the floor and slowly starting to rise on the walls. Samantha had been awake for quite some time, sitting in bed, calmly, letting the world spin, doing nothing. She wanted to enjoy the lingering feeling of the previous night before facing an uncertain and if she was honest, frightening future. With Jack and her working together again, even if he no was't married anymore, they were still breaking conduct riles, not to mention the problem that personal feelings at to work place could bring, they had learned that lesson the hard way. No. It wasn't going to be easy going to work together again with same feelings between them, knowing that they had to keep them hidden from the prying eyes of others. Living with the question of who knew how much and who had seen what. But there was no alternative, She had to go back to work because that was her job and without it her life felt incomplete. She had needed the time away, she could not have gotten straight back to work, she still wondered how Danny had managed. But during those five months she had started to miss her work as something more than just what filled her waking hours, but as a purpose, as what she wanted to do with her life. She had not been a hundred percent sure that she was really going to be able to follow through with it, but yesterday on that bench she had made the final decision. Maybe it was the rush from the trial that had finally given her the push she needed, maybe it had been Jack's reassuring words, she didn't know and it didn't matter. She knew that she was doing the right thing. Careful not to wake the still sleeping Jack, she got up and walked over to the window. By now the ray of sunlight had risen half up the walls. It was time to go. Jack had to go to work and she had to get ready for her flight back. But this time, she wasn't going to stay away. As soon as she had things sorted out, she would return to the city for good. Careful not to make much noise, she got dressed and slipped out of Jack's apartment.

Jack was woken by the sound of the door to his apartment closing. He felt the bed beside him, but didn't find another body there. He sat up, and found himself alone in bed. For a moment, he was thinking that it might all have been a dream. Maybe he had just imagined that Samantha had come back. But when he spotted the single blond hair on the pillow next to him, he was reassured that it was all real. Samantha had decided to come back to the FBI.

In a few minutes he would be Jack Malone the FBI agent again and the realm in which the night had taken place would be a thing of the past. Work, their common love would come between them again. But maybe that was just for the best. Their dedication to the FBI and especially to the work at the missing persons unit was essential to both of them and giving that up was too high a price. It wasn't an option that they had ever even talked about. He had come to accept that he might never seen Samantha again, that she had turned away fro her former life for good and had been overjoyed when she had come back. Seeing her happy at work was the best thing that could have come off this situation. The darkness of what had happened would always cast a shadow over all those who had been touched by it.

The End

Note: I owe immeasurable thanks to D and M are their help and advice. Without you this story would have been a lot less readable. Thanks to anyone who has read and reviewed this story, it means a lot to me. And lastly, shanks as always to the Mst gang for rocking so hard.