Michael's Journal
Well, Liz gave me this idea of a journal. I didn't want to do it but Max agrees with Liz and now I have to. God. I don't want to write some shitty stuff. I'm not a journal writing guy. I'm a bad ass. I don't write down my feelings. I keep them locked up inside me. Well, thanks to Max's girlfriend I got to! "IF YOU HAD A JOURNAL TO PUT ALL YOUR FEELINGS IN, MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T ACT LIKE THE JERK YOU ARE!" Liz said. What does she know? I'm the one who risks my life most of the time! I'm not the one with the anger problem! That's Maria. I don't know why I'm with her. She just bugs me most of the time. Frankly, I'd rather go out with Liz.
So. Here I am. In my room, writing. I don't see the purpose in this. Well, the good thing now is Max, Isabel, and Tess has to do it too. So I'm not alone. Tess's journal is most likely going to be filled with stuff like "Max is so hot" and "I love Max". A lot of shit if you ask me. I wonder, am I supposed to write Dear Journal? Why am I writing this crap? Max says I got to write two paragraphs. Well I did, so I'm stopping. Bye.
~*~Crashdown~*~
"So, how's the journalizing going?" Maria asked.
"It's a bunch of crap. I hate it," I said. Why was Maria asking me this shit? She knows how I feel about journalizing. What is the point? Ah, now little Miss Princess decides to show up for work.
"Sorry I'm late dad," Liz said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Late again Parker?" I said.
"I have a first name you know," she said as she walked up to Maria and me.
"Do you have the alien picture?" Maria asked.
"Yup. I got one of Michael in his human and alien form."
"Hey, don't make fun of my baby. Ok, I gotta go. See ya later." Maria got on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. I hate when she does that. It's so goddamn annoying. I think I'm going to break up with her. I want out.
"Bye Maria," Liz said. She then turned to me. "Now it's off to the world of waiting on people obsessed with aliens. Yippee."
"Hope ya have fun," I said. Why did I say that? It just popped out. I got back to cooking.
~*~Later~*~
"Good night Liz. You can lock up right?" Nancy said.
"Yup. Night. God. I'm beat. Michael, you still here?" Liz called. I was in the back talking to Maria at the time.
"Michael, I think it's time to go our separate ways," Maria said.
"We're breaking up aren't we?"
"Well, in simple terms, yup."
"Ok Fine."
"You're not going to put up a fight?"
"No. I'm not. You can go now."
"MICHAEL. ARE YOU HERE?" Liz called.
"YEAH. HOLD ON." I called back.
"Ok than. I'll see you later." Maria left. Why didn't I fight her? Yeah I said I wanted to break up but I didn't think she felt the same way. Why didn't I fight? Am I tired? I don't know. Liz walked into the kitchen. Being mad at myself, I punched the wall causing a whole. When I pulled my hand back out, it was bleeding.
"Here, run it under the water. I'll be right back with bandages," Liz said while turning on the water. I did as she told me.
"Liz, I can heal it."
"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that." Liz watched me as I healed my hand. I helped Liz lock up and than went home.
Dear Journal thing,
So. Maria broke up with me. I thought I was supposed to break up with here. Ok. Top Five break ups in chronological order.
1. Ashley
2. Mary
3. Anna
4. Carry
5. Sara
Look Maria. Your name does not come up on that list does it? Maybe you're in the top ten but not in the top five. If you really wanted to screw me up, ya should have gotten to me earlier! So. Number one. Ashley. I don't remember any of these girls' last names. Well. Seventh grade. Girls had just developed them us guys were fascinated with them. So my relationship with her lasted three hours. Three days, right after school. Fourth day, she's making out with Kyle. Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't really like Kyle. Well, all my other break ups are kinda like that. All mixed up.
~*~My Apartment~*~
I heard a knock on the door. I had just woken up too. "WHAT," I screamed at the door. I heard another knock on the door. I grabbed my shirt and put it on. I went to the door and opened it. There was Max and Liz. "Come in. You don't mind if I eat my breakfast do you?"
"Michael. It's two," Liz stated.
"So. Why does that matter?" I pulled out a bowl and poured my cereal in it.
"It's journal check up time," Max stated.
"I thought journals were private." I picked my journal up and thrusted it at him. He caught it.
"Maria broke up with you?" Liz said surprised. "Well, that would explain why I saw her kissing Kyle last night."
"She was kissing Kyle. Dammit!" I hit the table.
"I guess this isn't a good time. C'mon Liz. Let's go."
"No. I just want to talk to him alone for a while."
"Ok. See ya later," Max said giving Liz a little kiss. I was pissed off. Maria kissed Kyle last night? She must have done it after we broke up. Why would she want to kiss Kyle?
"Michael. I gotta problem. I have to break up with Max."
"Gee Liz. I thought you were smart. Why would you give up a great relationship like that one you got going on?"
"You think I want to break up with him? I don't want to but I have to!" Liz bursted into tears. She was hiding something from me. I could feel it.
"What do you mean you don't want to but you have to?"
"Max from the future told me I had to. He said the world would end if I didn't. He said I had to push him towards Tess. But I don't want to."
"Well. What were you planning on doing?"
"I don't know. I thought that if he saw me in bed with Kyle he might of thought that I...."
"That you did it with him?"
"Yeah. But I couldn't do that to him. I love him to much."
"Alright. Come here. Sit on the couch. First step. You gotta stop crying." I sat down on the couch with her. She buried he head in my shirt. I was ran my hand through her hair. Rocking her back and forth. "Ok, listen. I'm going to help you with this. I know you're only doing this to protect everyone. Ok. Listen..."
Dear Journal,
Well, I didn't write in ya yesterday because of Liz. I can understand that she didn't want to but had to. Max was devastated but if he only knew why she did it. Oh well. He'll get over it. He always does. Liz is here. She's asleep, right next to me. Is this bad? I mean, I'm the one that's supposed to comfort and protect everyone that knows I'm an alien right? She cried a day. Well basically. All today, Max treated her like she was nothing. I wanted to pinch out his eyes and make him see the truth. Even if I did tell the truth, he'd just blow up in my face. Maria has been a real bitch too. Isabel is on Liz's side. But that's because Max won't let her go to college. Tess is on Max's of course. But this is good for her right? I mean in the end, she and Max might get together Liz and Max are gone. What they had was so special, and Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.
Ok. Number two. Mary. I was 16. Mary was nice... She was s nice that she wouldn't let me put my hand on top of her bra, let alone under it. Well. To me, a guy, it didn't go anywhere. So she was no use to me. Four days after the break up, Kyle said he had sex with her on the second date! I mean what the hell! Am I bad at making out or something? You know. Kyle has been with all the girls I have been with! Doesn't this seem fucking wrong? The tiny bitched assed bastard. Ok calming down. I am so not fucking calming down. What is it that Kyle has that I don't? This is begging to bring me down a lot. Do they think I'm not fully endowed? Well yeah sure, I think it's a little small but most guys' do it's a typical guy thing. I'm sure Max does it too! Oh well. Now, there's just a little question I have to ask Kyle.
~*~Later~*~
Liz stirred as she awoke. She looked beautiful for a girl that's been crying al day. I mean, she looked so nice and peaceful when she slept, but now. All I can say is wow! "Good Morning Parker Did you have a nice sleep?" I said sitting up with a newspaper in hand. She looked at me and smiled. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long time.
"You know, I just had the weirdest dream. It was actually nice." She sat up in the bed too. I put my paper down on the stand next to me bed.
"What was this weird dream about?" I asked. Did she dream about me? It was probably Max.
"Are you sure you want to know?" I nodded my head as to say yes. "Ok. Well I dreamt that we were together and well we, you know."
"Well" I said in a sort of squeaky voice. I cleared my throat. "Well, sounds like a nice dream. Did I have, well, you know, a umm."
"Yes you had a nice one."
"Was I any good?"
"Good is an understatement."
"Weird cause in my dreams. I'm really inadequate. In both departments." Liz laughed. Was she moving on? I mean, I know it must still hurt her, but she just had a dream that we were together. I don't know.
~*~Crashdown~*~
"So Michael, did Liz tell you about her dream?" Isabel asked. I smiled.
"Why yes. She told me about it this morning." I said smiling. Isabel looked at Liz who was looking at me. I looked at Liz. Was I falling in love with her? Well, if I was that would be a big problem. Max had a scowl upon his face. He seemed to have a look of disgust in his eyes as he watched Liz and me. Well Liz caught him staring at her. She got up and walked into the kitchen. "God Max, what is your problem?"
"What's my problem? She goes behind my back, and now she's flirting with you. Really Michael. You've become blind."
"Max, you owe her your goddamn life."
"What do you mean."?
"Put the two together smartass." I walked into the kitchen leaving everyone speechless. I walked up to Liz and put my arms around her. "It will be ok. He will get over it. You saved his life that night. Don't you ever forget that." I whispered into her ears.
"Ok." She turned to face me. "I'm glad at least I have someone to depend on." She hugged me. I felt warm. My arms tightened around her. My heart beated fast.
"Hey, anyone wanna play Friends Trivia?" We heard Alex say. Always leave it up to Alex to try to make everyone smile. "Isabel is very lucky to have a guy like Alex," Liz said smiling. "C'mon." I took her hand in mine. We walked back into the room. "Well Alex. Get that game out. It's about time we had some fun!"
"Alright Captain!" Alex said pulling out the game.
Dear Journal,
Hey again. We played the trivia game for a while. Max loosened up luckily. Maxwell can be such an asshole sometimes. Really, he is so selfish. I'm glad Liz is not with him anymore. How could she love someone like him? Ok. I guess I'm developing a crush on her. I mean I've had a crush on her since the 3rd grade, but that's beside the point. Ok. I'm sweating. She's in my bathroom, in my shower. I'm going crazy! I mean, it's hard with Max dropping by every five seconds. Now I got Liz hear. I'm falling for her. All I think about is her. When I'm with her, the room gets really hot. Then when she's gone, the temperature drops dramatically! I haven't taken anything if that's what you think. No way. I don't do that shit.
Ok. Number three. Anna. Anna was gorgeous. I thought she would be the one. I was 16. She was very talkative, very hott. I fell for her hard. So, she was an artist. She hung out with a lot of guys. I was always afraid that she'd leave me for one of them. Well, she did. It was raining hard. I was outside her apartment. I screamed at her window. When she came to the window, she just had a sheet on, then I saw him. He pulled her back. I never really got over Anna. Well, I guess I did. Cause now I'm crazy for Liz. Elizabeth Parker. If she ever read this, I don't know what I'd do.
~*~After entry~*~
I put the journal down. What am I going to do? The water was just turned off. So, she'll be walking out here in a towel, going through my droors to find a shirt. She just walked in. I watched do as I thought. She pulled out a Green Day shirt and put it on. The she pulled out one of my boxers and slipped them on. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. I'll wash these and give them back to you later," Liz said. I was to busy paying attention to her body.
"What, Oh yeah. So what do you want to do?" I said regaining my conscious.
"I dunno, what do you want to do?" Liz said as she sat down beside me on the bed.
"I..." I said in a squeaky voice yet again. I cleared my voice "I don't care." I could feel my sweat running down my face.
"Michael, are you ok? You're sweating." She placed her hand on my forehead "Michael, your burning up. Are you feeling ok."
"Yeah. I'm fine. Um, want to see a movie?"
"No Michael. We're not going anywhere. You are going to stay in bed and I'm going to make you some soup and take care of you." Liz pulled the covers over me. She walked into the kitchen. About fifteen minutes later, she came back in with the soup. I took the bowl and began to eat. Then she grabbed the bowl. "No. I'm feeding you!"
"Parker, I can feed myself."
"Nope. You helped me now I'm going to get you better. Alien or not." She fed me and I loved every single second of it. She read me stories. Told me her strange dreams. I was falling for her. I was falling hard. I didn't know why.
"Hey. Can you put on Elva? Number 16. I want you to hear this song." I said. She put the CD on and went forward. When she reached it, she pressed play.
"I can feel the world up on my back, I got sixteen people breathin' down my neck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright, So just hang on, cause I, I won't be long, Just sing that song to me, Goes I'm in love with you in love with me, Cause I'm in love with you in love with me, And I can feel your breath upon my neck, One last caress, I'm a nervous wreck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright" the song went.
"Nice the 'I'm in love with you part'?" I said. Why was I doing this? I was telling her I loved her. I do love her. WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING YOURSELF THE DAMN QUESTIONS? I wanted her to tell me she loved me but I don't think she will. "I love you Elizabeth Parker I'm in love with you. I just want to know if you're in love with me."
"Michael. I think I am." She looked at me and smiled. I smiled at her. We kissed. I mean, there explosions in that kiss. Fireworks and everything. I didn't want to let go.
Dear Journal,
Well. Here I am, with Liz next to me asleep. She loves me. She told me she loved me. I must be in a dream or something. All I can think about is her. She told me she loved me. I still can't get it through my head. Shit. Max is gonna read this. Shit Shit Shit. Journal check up time tomorrow and Max is gonna learn why Liz broke up with him. Then, he is gonna try and get her back. Dammit. But he'll read this. He'll see what I just wrote. I ain't aloud to cross out anything either. Great going Michael. You blew it. Go on Michael, congratulate yourself on your stupidity. Really Michael. You're loosing it. Oh well. Fuck Max. I love Liz and she loves me. And if he is pissed off about it, he can go crap on himself. Maria will find out to. Dammit. I gotta get out. But I can't leave her. I won't. I won't run away. I'm not Max.
~*~Morning~*~
I awoke to hearing the shower running. I looked over next to me. Liz wasn't there. Must be in the shower I thought. Then, I had to take a piss. Perfect timing right. Well, there isn't another toilet in this apartment. I walked in minding my own business. "Michael, what are you doing?" Liz asked, still taking a shower. I unzipped my pants and did my business.
"I need to flush the toilet."
"Hold on." I heard the water stop running. Liz walked out and quickly wrapped a towel around her. "I was done. You can carry on."
"Oh, I'm done." I flushed the toilet and walked up to her.
"Um. XYZ Michael." I looked down. I felt my face go hot. I quickly turned around and zipped up my pants.
"So how did you like the shower?" I asked. The realizing what I had said, I hit myself on the head. "Nice talking Michael," I said to myself.
"What did you say?"
"Oh nothing, nothing. I was just talking to myself. Yea." Liz giggled. She then went to my dresser and pulled out another one of my shirts. As she was putting on the shirt, she dropped the towel. I turned around quickly, trying to control myself. I can't help watching her. I mean, she's beautiful, kind, loving, and has one of the best bodies I've ever seen. I turned back around. She was fully dressed in one of my shirts and one of my cut up jeans. "So, what do you want for breakfast?"
All right, forget the whole Dear Journal thing. I don't want it. To do that anymore. Well. Liz and I have been getting along great. Max is a little annoyed at me. Maria, well Maria is just giving everyone a hard time. I'm glad it's over. So. Number four, Carry. Carry and I were perfect for each other. She had just broken up with and asshole named Jake. I had just broken up with Anna. We connected. It was perfect. We were getting along great. I didn't have to worry about her leaving because we were in the same boat and we understood each other. Well, she left me. 'I met another guy" she said. Who was the guy? I don't know. She never told me. So, I'll never know. All I know was she met another guy. It was probably Kyle. Who else could it be? He goes after every one of my exes's. He does it on purpose most likely. I hate him.
Liz grabbed my journal and began to read my entry. "Liz give it back." Liz giggled.
"I knew it! Same with Anna and Mary!"
"Ok, well what else do you have in here." Liz started to flip the pages. I tried to grab it but she moved to fast.
"Liz, don't make me get rough with you." Liz still read.
"Ah, here is the story with Anna."
"Well, I warned you." I picked her up.
"Put me down Michael. Put me down and I'll stop reading," Liz said laughing. I put her down on the bed. I laid on top of her. I took the book and threw it behind me. You can guess what happened next. I don't want to share all the juicy details.
~*~Later~*~
"Well, good night Michael. If I don't go home, Mom will wonder where I have been." She kissed me.
"Alright. I'll be around later to make sure your ok." Liz left. Now. It was five and I got nothing to do. I decided to go down to Max's. I brought my journal that way if I got too bored there, I could write. When I got there, I walked in without knocking or ringing the doorbell. "Hello everyone." I said while sitting down on the couch with Alex.
"Hey Michael. How are you?"
"Fine I guess. Are you waiting for Iz?"
"Yup, and she thinks I take a long time!"
"Yup, know what ya mean."
"You do?"
"I have had a share of girlfriends." Alex nodded.
"Iz, look at me. Will you look at me?" we heard Max say. I turned to Alex.
"Won't talk to him?" Alex nodded. I got up. "I'll be right back." I walked into Isabel's room. Isabel was sitting on her bed tying her shoe. Max was leaning on her dresser. Isabel looked up and smiled when she saw me.
"Hey Mike," she said.
"Great, she'll talk to you but she won't talk to me."
"Watch this. Hey Iz. I don't think you should go to college too," I said with a straight face. She glared at me. "Just kidding. Of course I want you to go to College!" I said smiling. "Your boyfriend is waiting for you. Better hurry or you will never get him off that couch." Isabel hurried out of the room.
"Michael. I know why she's mad at me. That doesn't mean she has to give me the silent treatment."
"Max, she will start talking to you again. Just give her some time."
"Did you bring your journal?"
"Yeah. Thought I might get bored here." I said. Max and I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I flipped the channel trying to find something good on. Max looked through my journal making sure everything was going ok. "Friends is on. Oh, It's the blackout. My favorite episode! Hey Max, look." Max was concentrating hard on one page. "Max, did you find something interesting in my journal?"
"Yea. It says 'I can understand that she didn't want to but had to.' What does that mean Michael?"
"I can't say. I promised I wouldn't."
"And it also says 'Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.' What do you mean by that?"
"Max. You can't tell Liz that I told you. You gotta promise me." "I promise. I will not tell Liz that you told me."
"Max, the future you visited her one night. He said that the world would end if you guys stayed together. He said that Liz had to end it. I helped her."
"So you mean she still loves me?"
"Max think. How could she love you after what you did to her? You treated he like shit after you saw her with another guy. You treated her like she was nothing. You know how many nights I had to calm her down because she was crying so much?" Max wasn't paying any attention to me. He was still looking at the entries.
"You fell in love with her. It says so right in your journal." I looked down. He went to the next page. "She told you that she loved you. She loves you?" I nodded. I couldn't lie to him. "She's in love with you. I could see it but I didn't want to believe it."
"Max. You lost her. It just kills you that you happened to lose her to me right? Liz and me? Right impossible to you. How could a girl love someone like me? Well she does. Polar attraction. That's what they call it right?"
"Get out. Leave. Go away. I don't want to see you." I grabbed my journal.
"What ever you want you majesty." I turned and left. When I was outside, I heard him scream. I waked away. I did my rounds. When I got to Liz's I saw Max's car in the front. I walked around to her balcony. There I heard Max screaming and Liz trying to keep him quiet. Than I heard her begin to cry. I couldn't listen to that anymore. I climbed the fire escape up to her balcony. When, I reached her room. I saw Max shaking her violently. I grabbed Max and pulled him off her. "Get out of here." He didn't move. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. We heard footsteps coming up stairs.
"Liz, are you ok? Liz?" Max jumped out of the window and left. I bent down beside Liz. I help her against me. The door opened. There stood Liz's parents. They saw me rocking Liz back and forth. She was still crying. I knew I was going to have to explain some things very soon.
Liz was crying. Max was gone. Liz' parents were pissed. Boy was I in trouble. "What the hell happened here?" Liz's father screamed.
"I'm sorry sir, but I was walking and I heard a commotion here so I came to check if everything was ok. Well, I found some guy trying to hurt her so I scared him away." I said. I had to cover for Max. He's my king. I had to.
"Ok Michael. Thank you. Did you get a good look at this man?"
"No. I'm sorry sir, I didn't. I pulled him off her, yelled at him and he ran. I'll track him down. I promise." I stood up to leave.
"Michael, don't leave me please," Liz said still letting out little sobs. I bent down beside her.
"I won't leave you. Not tonight. I'll be out on the balcony, keeping watch. I'm never going to leave you," I said. I couldn't. Not with Max acting like this. He would come back to finish it. I knew he would. Liz stood up. She walked over to her bed and sat down. Liz's parents left knowing that she would be safe. I sat on the window ledge watching the stars waiting for Max to come back.
"You told him. You told him and he found out didn't he. Michael, how did he find out." She looked at me, her eyes bloodshot.
"He read a journal entry. The whole check up thing. When he found out about the future Max and he thought there was still hope. But read further. He found out. He said he wasn't going to tell you. Well he didn't but he knew that meant not doing this."
"Michael, you told him. After I told you not to. Michael how can I trust you."
"I saved your goddamn life didn't I. Doesn't that count. Doesn't it count that I'm madly in love with you? Doesn't it count that I would die for you?"
"Michael, you'd die for anyone one of us. Including Max." I looked down at my shoes. It was true. I'd die for any of them, even Maxwell. "You couldn't even tell my parents that it was Max."
"Don't Liz. You don't know. I have to put up with his shit all the time. I have to protect him. That's what I do. I protect Max, Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Tess, and you. That's what my purpose in life is. I protect the ones that know what I am. I protect those that are the same as me. I think by know you would have known that. Dammit Liz. I just saved you from being assimilated! And this is how you repay me. By giving me all this bull shit on how you can't trust me because I told Max something he was going to find out anyway?"
"Michael, I didn't mean it like that. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the guy that I went out with! I'm afraid of someone who said they loved me till the end of the earth!" Liz began to cry again. I sat down next to her. I held her. She seemed so weak and helpless. I then heard someone coming up onto the balcony. It was Maria.
"Get off of her Michael, you, you asshole!" she screamed. I let go of Liz and stood up.
"What are you talking about?"
"Max told me everything. You come here, start beating her and then when Max comes to see her, you go crazy! You are such a..."
"Maria, shut up. You don't know bull shit! Now sit down and comfort her. Lock the window. Don't open it till I get back. Liz will tell you what happened. I have to go and find Max." I jumped out the window, leaving Liz with Maria. I knew Max was here. He could get in now. This was the perfect trap.
~*~Two Days Later~*~
I was sitting at home watching TV when I heard a knock on the door. It was Max. "We need to get out of town. Now. All of us."
"What? What's going on?"
"Alex. He died. We think someone murdered him. We think the person who did knows that we're here. They're coming after us."
"Holy shit! What the. Alex. He's fucking dead. Wait. He can't. He went to a place, over seas. Whatever. Alex can't be dead!"
"He is Michael. Isabel, Tess, you, and I have to leave. We can't endanger Kyle, Maria, or Liz."
"You mean like you did?" There was another knock on the door.
"Police we need to ask you some questions. Now open up."
"Out the window. Out the window. Max move now and be quiet." I walked over to the door and opened it. I didn't believe what I saw. It couldn't be. No, he was... dead.
I could kill Max right now. He got me all shooken up about Alex and he really wasn't dead! Isabel, Alex, Tess, Maria, Max, and Liz are mad at me. This must be what hell is like. Sometimes I wish I did have to deal with my life. I want to leave Roswell. I could, if I wanted to. They wouldn't stop me. I know it. They cast me out in an instant. I can feel it. I know it. In my heart and head.
Maybe I should leave. Get out of their way. Get out of their life. Why not. A permanent vacation. Maybe I'll meet someone who can tell me about where I can from. Why not. The world wouldn't end if I did. They would be just fine.
~~Later~~
I was putting my belongings in the back of my brand new truck. I was leaving. I was leaving for good. "Hey! Where are you going?" I heard someone say behind me.
"Somewhere. Don't know yet. Wanna come with Iz?" I said as I turned around to face her.
"You know I would but, I can't. I gotta family." She steeped closer to me.
"I see you're not mad at me anymore."
"I read Max's journal. He doesn't know though. Sorry, its just Liz said..."
"Yea. I kinda got what she said. Kyle is still chasing her and Max and she are back together. Looks like everything worked out great."
"For them. But not for you?"
"Things worked out fine for me. I'll call you next time I'm in Roswell." I walked up to Isabel and hugged her. I couldn't believe I was leaving. I was leaving her. Isabel is my best friend. I'm gonna miss her. I got in the car and turned on the ignition. Isabel waved goodbye as I began to drive away. I drove down to the crashdown to say goodbye to the gang for the last time. I didn't know if they would look at me or not, but, I still am gonna try. I walked into the not so crowded restaurant. Sheriff Valenti was sitting in a booth with Kyle talking. Liz was taking their orders. Maria was at the other side of the room taking Alex's and Max's orders. It wasn't long till the gang noticed me. Maria walked up to me with a disgusted look on her face.
"What are you doing here?" Everyone gathered around her also giving me glares. I looked down. I heard Max chuckle. "I'm just here to say good bye. But I see that you guys don't seem to care so I'm just going to go." Sheriff Valenti walked up to us. He looked at me and then back at the group. I turned to leave when Liz tapped my shoulder.
"What do you mean, goodbye."
"I'm leaving Roswell Liz. I'm leaving for good. Why do you care? You couldn't even tell them the truth." Liz opened her mouth to come back with a harsh statement but I cut her off. "You know very goddamn well why I couldn't tell your parents the truth. Maxwell is the king. I am the soldier. I serve him. I keep him out of danger. You know what I don't know why I am explaining this to you. You probably believe that lie. Why bother." I turned to leave again. This time no one stopped me. I walked out, got into my car and drove off. It was the last time I saw Roswell for a long time.
~~5 Years Later~~
I walked up to the front of the school. It was five years ago that I left. I didn't know where everyone was. "I thought you were going to call me!" I turned around and saw Isabel. She looked exactly the same as when I left. She ran up to me and gave me a hug.
"Hey, I meant to call, I really did. I missed you" She let go of me and smiled.
"I've missed you too." I looked down on her at her hands. I diamond ring was placed on her left ring finger.
"Isabel! Are you? Who?"
"Alex. He asked me yesterday. I'm so gad your here! This has been the best week of my life!" She got in the car and popped her head out of the window. "Well, come on. We gotta go see everyone!"
I got in the car and we drove down to the crashdown. Sure enough, Alex and Kyle were sitting in a booth talking. "Hey guys. We got a stranger in our mist," Isabel said as we walked up to their table. They looked up. Kyle's jaw dropped while Alex leaped up and gave me a hug. With in seconds he had let go.
"Sorry Michael It's just. Oh my god! Your back!" Alex grabbed Isabel's hand and squeezed it. "He's back! He's back!" He screamed. The next thing I heard was Maria's voice.
"Whose back? Alex. You're going to scare away all the costumers!" she said as she walked out of the kitchen. She saw me and leaped in the air. "Michael's back! Michael's back! Oh my god! Michael's back!"
"Why did you think I was going to scare away the customers! You are. Then again, like we get anymore!" Alex said. I looked at him with a puzzled expression on my face.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, ever since Liz left with Max, everything's been going downhill!" Alex stated.
"Liz is gone?"
"Yea." Maria said.
"Where's Liz?" I asked desperately. My throat felt clogged. My stomach was swelling. My heart was pounding fast. Did she leave me? Did she just forget about me? Did she fall for Max again? Is the world going to end?
"She left with Max. We don't know where they went." Kyle said.
"Actually. I do. They wrote me. They're married. She's moved on Michael. Please Michael. Don't beat yourself up for this." "I have to Isabel. The world is going to end! Did Max mention that in his journal? Well. Did he? You have to understand. It's my fault. I let Max read my journal. He found out. He went crazy. He attacked Liz. I couldn't tell Liz's parents he did. I lost her that night! I have to beat myself up over this. I need to find them. If I don't, we're dead."
"Oh my god," Maria said clutching her chest. Kyle wrapped his arms around her.
"It'll be ok Maria. We're going to find them. You're not going to die."
"Kyle! We haven't even told them yet and we are going to die in a matter of time! How are we going to find them!" Maria said.
"Tell us what?" I asked. What was Maria talking about?
"This." Maria stuck out her left hand, which held another diamond ring. "Kyle and I are getting married. We got together last year." Isabel began to jump up and down.
"DOUBLE WEDDING! DOUBLE WEDDING!" she screamed. I sat in the boot next to Alex and clasped my forehead. My head was pounding already. I had been back for a half-hour and already I had a headache.
"Can we get back on track. No mare talk of weddings. Where are they Iz?" I said impatiently. She calmed down and straightened her clothes.
"They're in New Mexico." I got up and walked out to the car. The rest followed me.
"Oooh! A convertible! Nice going Michael." Maria said. I got in my car."
"Everybody, get in now. Maria. Go lock the door. We are going to be gone for a while."
"Ok" Maria ran inside. Within fifteen minuets, she was back out with a black book in her hand. I recognized it right away.
"What are doing with Liz's Journal?" I asked. I hadn't read any thing in it since I last took it. I told her I was happy to have her as a friend.
"I thought we might look in it. See what she wrote. You know. She left two years ago. So some stuff might be recent." She opened the book to the last page.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 18, 2003
Dear Journal,
My heart still aches at the thought of Michael not loving me anymore. He's gone and he's never coming back. I lost him. Forever. Max. I can't stand to look at him and yet I'm with him. Maybe I'll learn to love him again. I just wish Michael would come and rescue me from this hellhole but I know he's not coming back. Look at you. My Last entry before I leave with Max and you're covered with tears. I'm so sorry. You had to be burdened with my problems and needs. It's just that I love and yet still hate Michael. I am not but yet am over him. It hurts. I wish I could get rid of my pain. Maybe if I killed myself, I could but I'm too scared. I hate this. I try to be kind and happy but I'm not. I can't forgive. I can't forget. I can't give in. What went wrong? He said this was right. He fucked up my life. I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I kicking.
~Liz~
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Michael, don't worry. She was going through a rough time. You didn't ruin her life. You made her happy. You were her night in shinning armor. Not Max." Maria said. I turned on the ignition.
"We're going. Where are they in New Mexico Isabel." I said starring straight ahead.
"They're in Las Carusis," Isabel said. I began to drive. When we arrived, we found a hotel and rested. We then went out to eat. There, we saw Liz. I put one my glasses and cap right away. I didn't want her to see me. We sat in a booth and within two minuets she was at our table ready to take orders.
"Isabel! Alex! Maria! Kyle! What are you doing here? God I've missed you!" Liz cried. I looked down her voice sounded sweeter than I had remembered.
"We came to visit you. Oh and this is Andrew. He just moved to Roswell," Isabel said quickly when Liz noticed me.
"Oh. Hi. I'm Liz Parker," Liz said. I looked at her through my sunglasses.
"Hi. Andrew Carlton." I said in a deeper voice.
"Um, can you take off your sunglasses?" I looked at her. She looked at me.
"I'm blind. My eyes aren't pretty to see."
"Oh. Well what about your cap?" I took off my cap and placed it on the table. Liz eyes widened. "Oh."
"What" I said looking forward. I moved my hand on the table to make it seem that I couldn't see my cap
. "You just have the same hair color and cut of someone I used to know." She picked up my cap and handed it to me. "You can wear it if you want."
"No, it's ok." I said in my natural voice. Alex kicked me from underneath the table. "Ow. I mean Ow." I said in a deeper voice again. I gave Alex a hard stare, which made Alex shrink back in his seat.
"Ok. Um, what would you like." I picked up a menu and tried to feel for those dots the usually have.
"I'm sorry, we don't have those type menus. We have burgers. Kinda like at the crashdown without the gross names. By the way, how's the place going?" Just then, Max walked in. I began to shiver. He walked over to the booth and placed his hand on Liz's belly.
"How's my wife?"
"Fine Max. Look who's here." I could feel Max starring at me as I looked forward.
"Michael," Max said simply. Liz looked at me and then back at Max.
"No. Max that's their new friend Andrew. Right?" Isabel couldn't speak. I got out of the booth and looked at Max. I was still towering over him.
"Hi Max. How are you?" I said as I took off my glasses and cap. I wasn't going to have Max boss me around. I came here for a reason.
"Oh my god. Michael? But, I don't understand." I turned to Liz and looked at her with longing eyes. Hers were beginning to tear.
"Yeah Liz. I'm sorry. But how stupid are you. What happened to the smart Liz? You knew the world might end. You knew many lives were at stake and yet you went and did it. Liz, you did what you did for a reason. Remember?" Liz began to cry. "Yes. I remember," she said helplessly.
"Then why? And you think this hurt Liz?" I pulled out her journal and threw it onto the table. "You remember that. I fucked up your life right? If I remember correctly, you got mad at me for writing down something you didn't want Max to know. You just did that to me." I walked to the door. When I turned around, Liz was on the floor covering her mouth to stifle her sobs. "Liz. I didn't fuck up yours. You fucked up mine. You made me become the guy I didn't want to be. I wanted to be the tough guy. The only problem I wanted to have was people knowing what I am. But then you came along. You said that you loved me. You gave me worries. The problem I had was the fact that you might go back to Max. I was afraid he was going to find out about us. He did. He attacked you. I didn't tell your parents he did and you know why I couldn't tell. Yet you went back to him, knowing that the world would end within only a couple years. Liz. I still love you. You also wrote in that last entry that you wanted me to rescue you. Well here I am. Do you still want that? Unlike you. I can forgive. I can forget. I can give in. Will you just give me the chance?" Liz looked at me.
"No Michael. I can't."
"Ok. I just became you. Now I know it's true. I can't forgive. I can't forget. I can't give in. You want to know what went wrong? I went wrong. I was wrong to fall for you." I left. I left her. I got in my car and turned on the radio. I could comeback for them later. The songs soothed me a little. Was I being unfair? She was with Max. I just need to get over her. Just like Isabel said I had to. I had to let her go.
Dear Journal,
I haven't written in you in a long time. Sorry. Well. Liz and Max are together now. I have to giver her up don't I? I knew I would have to some time in my life. I held on to long. I read her last entry. She said I fucked up her life. When I saw her, I said she fucked up mine. Am I stupid or what? So here I am. Trying to move on. I just feel like I lost her too soon. She left to early. I had to have been prepared but I wasn't. The world is going to end. What if it end tomorrow? Will I be able to forgive and forget? Will I be able to give in? I don't think I will. I'm sick of always hearing, All those sad songs on the radio. All day it is there to remind, An over sensitive guy that he's lost and alone, I can't forgive, can't forget, Can't give in, what went wrong? Cos you said this was right, You fucked up my life. I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I kicking.
~Michael~
Dear Journal,
It's been a month since I last saw Liz. I have gotten a job at a health plant. Don't know why, I just did. It's time to start a new life. I watched this movie called 'How to Succeed in Business without really trying'. I thought I could do that, so here I am. Trying out my new job. I have to take phone calls and input the new people into the database. It sounds easy. I know something's about computers. Well a little. Isabel actually got me the job. I'm really glad I have her as a friend. The wedding happened a week ago. They went with a double wedding. Max and Liz didn't show up. It hurt Isabel and Maria really bad. Maybe, after I make some money out of this job, I'll start a band or something. I don't want to be stuck here forever.
~At Work~
"Guerin. I would like to see you in my office for a minuet," my new boss said as she walked into the room. She was also the President! She was young and very.... attractive. She was wearing a short black skirt and a bright red halter. I never knew that they were aloud to wear stuff like that. Well anyway, I walked into her office. "Shut the door and sit down please." I did as she said and sat down. "Mr. Guerin. You are very important to this company. You seem to be bringing in a lot of people. We have sky rocketed. You will be getting a promotion soon. Well now. You, Mr. Guerin, have just become Vice President of this branch." I looked at her with shock. She could tell. "Don't be so shocked Mr. Guerin. Can I call you Michael?" she said as she walked over to my seat.
"Um. Yea, sure," I said. She bent down which caused her to show a little more of herself.
"You can call me Alice. Michael, you will be in here very often. You do know that right?" She placed her hand on my chest, which then ran down.
"Um, yea," I said in a squeaky voice. She laughed. "Um what happened to the other VP?"
"He quit. But that doesn't interfere with anything does it?" she said as she squeezed my, well you know. I jumped up from the chair. "He quit because he wanted to go into other things. Music or something. I wished him the best of luck. He is very talented. It's good that he moved on. It's good for me and you."
"Oh, um, ok." I stood up as to leave. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me close.
"Listen Michael. I really like you." She grabbed my ass with one hand and stuck her other hand down my pants. "But, we can't let anyone find out about this, ok?" She squeezed hard.
"Yea...um, ah," I said stammering. I couldn't say it didn't feel great. It did. But I felt weird. I was still trying to get over Liz and here I was, letting my boss stick her hand down my pants and.... yea.
"Michael, does that feel nice. Does it feel great? If you accept this, you could have this feeling everyday. Do you accept?" "Um," she squeezed harder. "Sure, sure, yea." I said in an even higher voice.
"Good," she said. She licked her lips. "I wanna try something else." She unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them. She just about to whip it out when I backed away
. "Listen. I can't. I'm not that type of guy. Jeez. I should like a goddamn girl!" She laughed at this. She walked up to me and placed her hand on my chest.
"Michael. This may feel weird in the beginning, but it will get better. Trust me."
~Later~
I don't know why I did it. I'm so mad at myself. The doorbell rang. Soon I heard Isabel calling my name. "Michael?"
Michael, are you here?"
"Yes," I said in a gloomy voice.
"Michael, what's wrong?"
"I just had sex with my boss. I just did it. God. I'm so stupid."
"You did it with Alice?" Isabel said, her eyes wide with shock.
"Yea. I could kill myself." I punched the wall. I didn't give the wall any damage, but my hand was soon bruised and very sore. I ran my other hand over my hand, healing it.
"Why, how? I thought you still weren't over Liz." She sat down on the couch, I sat next to her.
"I'm still not over Liz. She called me into her office...." I explained the whole story to her. She stood up.
"Michael! She basically took advantage of you!"
"No, she didn't. I let her go ahead with it. It takes two to tango."
"Michael. I'm not going to let this pass. I'm going in. Do you have a picture of her?" I shook my head. "Oh, yea. I do! Hold on." She pulled out a picture of Alice. "Let the fun begin."
Dear Journal,
Another month has passed. I've been working and the health plant for while now. Alice, my boss, stopped. We've become pretty good friends. I guess she just thought that since I let her, it wasn't a problem. Now she just hugs me or gives me light kisses on my cheek. I'm ok with that. I haven't heard from Liz or Max yet. I can't seem to get her out of my head. She's the one. She's always been the one. Ever since the fifth grade I knew it. She was going to be the one. She was going to be my light, my dark, my hope, my dreams, she is my everything. I haven't been able to smile at all. Just thinking that Max and she might be thinking of children. That he can touch her, talk to her, let alone see and hear her. He is a very lucky guy. What if she was the only one for me? What if this was supposed to happen? What if she Max's and mine one and only. I don't know. I can still see her laugh and smile. I have a picture of her and me under my bed. I look at it every night. God I'm pathetic. I don't care anymore. I'd rather die then live knowing she doesn't love me anymore. It hurts. Is this what it always feels like? I really don't know anymore. I thought I had an answer to everything, but I don't. What really hurts is she's gone. She's been gone for five years and two moths now. I lot her a long time ago and yet I still can't let her go.
I place my journal on my nightstand. I was back in my old apartment. I don't know why I came back to this one. Maybe because of all the great memories I have of Liz here. I turned off my light and dreamt of her.
~~Dream~~
"Michael?" Liz's voice screamed. Michael walked around the house frantically, trying to find her. "Michael, please. Where are you." Michael could hear her cry. He finally found her in a room standing crying.
"I'm here Liz. I'm right here." Michael said as he walked up to her and held her in his arms.
"Michael," Liz said letting out little sobs.
"Shhh, I'm here. It's ok. I'm right here," Michael said while stroking her long brown hair.
"Michael.... you..... you..... have to ....let go....let go," Liz said unable to finish her sentence.
"Let go of what Liz?" Michael asked looking deep into her eyes trying to search for the answer. Then Max came up to her and pulled Liz away from him. Michael held onto Liz. He wasn't going to let go of her.
"You have to let go of her Michael," Max said still pulling Liz away.
"No I can't."
"You have to. It's over now. Let her go. It's the only way you'll move on. Now just let go." Michael let go of her. At that instant, Max and Liz began to walk away, while holding each other.
"No, Liz, Please, No Liz!" Michael screamed while running towards them, his arms out stretched as if he was trying to gain hold of her again. He just couldn't reach them, He couldn't reach her.
~Later~
Liz and I were sitting on my couch, pigging out on ice cream and watching movies. We had wrapped a big quilt around us. Liz turned and looked at me. "You even more handsome then I remembered. I was crazy to say no to that chance. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course. I would die a million deaths and more before I ever say no to you." Just then the doorbell rang.
"I'll get that. I might be Isabel! And Alex! I can't believe I missed their wedding!" Liz said happily as she got up and walked over to the door. I smiled.
"Excuse me, is Michael here?" said a familiar voice. Alice.
"Yes, who are you?"
"I'm his boss"
"Oh. Ok."
"Oh, and his girlfriend." Alice smiled at Liz.
"Who is it?" I called. When Liz didn't answer, I walked up to the door. "Alice! What are you doing here?"
"Michael, she says you're her boyfriend." Liz said trying to hold back her tears.
"No, Liz she's joking. She and I are not, no. Liz you have to believe me. Tell her you joking!"
"Don't be silly Michael. You and I have been going out for two months now. I'm wondering are you sleeping with her?" Liz looked at Alice.
"Don't worry, he isn't. He hasn't been for over five years now. I'll just leave you alone." Liz left the apartment.
"Wait, Liz. No. She's not my girlfriend," I called. I turned to Alice. "Leave now. I don't want to see or hear for you again you little bitch." I grabbed my coat and locked the door. "By the way, I quit." I ran down trying to find Liz. Her car was gone. I got in my car and drove after her. I was going to find her. I had to. I finally saw her car at Isabel and Alex's house. I pulled into their driveway. As I was about to go inside, I grabbed a small case out of the drivers compartment and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I ran into the house. "Liz, Liz." Isabel came out and tried to hold me back.
"No Michael, you better not go in. You better not."
"Let me through. I need to see her."
"No. I won't let you." I tried to walk by her but she put her hand on my chest and burned a hole in my shirt. I could feel my skin begin to burn. I pulled her off me and walked into the room. I found Liz on the bed with Alex next to her comforting her. I stopped in the doorway, unable to move. I soon felt Isabel's hand on my back. She was still trying to burn me. I didn't blame her. I deserved it. I deserved every single second of it. It hurt. I could feel my skin burning off. I pulled out the case and opened it.
"Liz." She looked up at me. "Liz" I panted trying to endure the pain. I collapsed onto my knees. Liz stood up and smacked me. "Liz." I said. She smacked me again. Isabel and her and still placed on my back. "Liz. I love you." At this, she hit me harder across the face. "Liz. I love you." Liz began to cry. "Liz. Marry me." She dropped to the ground in front of me.
"Isabel, take your hand off of him," I heard Alex say. I felt the burning stop.
"Liz. Marry me. I love you. Please. Marry me." Liz looked up at me. She smiled and looked at the ring. "Liz. I love you. I would do anything for you. I'm sorry if I have ever hurt you. I've done many wrong things in my life but I know I know in my heart and mind, that what I'm asking you is the right thing. Now, I know you might not take me back after what just happened and I don't blame you. I really don't. I don't deserve a beautiful, smart, and wonderful woman like you Liz. But I love you, and that won't stop me from trying and asking you." I said. Liz took the case from my hand. She put it on the floor. At that moment, I thought she was saying no. She then took off her wedding ring and placed the ring that I had given her in its place. At this I took her into my arms and held her. My tears were coming down fast.
"Yes Michael. You have just made me the happiest person in the whole universe. I have dreamt of this day for as long as I can remember. I love you."
"I guess that makes two." I smiled. We began to kiss when Alex interrupted.
"Um, what about Max. Not to spoil the moment or anything but you are still married to Max."
"Oh god. You are!" I placed my hands on top of my head. "Actually, she's not. She and Max got divorced a year ago. When we saw them, Max only called her his wife because he saw Michael. I'm not sure why Liz went along with it but they are divorced and so she is not married and now you can go back to making out!" Isabel said calmly. Liz smiled at me. As Isabel said, we did. Alex turned to Isabel and took her in his arms.
"Why yes. But that's one of the reasons why you married me isn't it?" Isabel said.
"Why yes. It is." Isabel and Alex kissed.
~Fifteen Years Later~
"Dad, Dad. FATHER! Mick read your old diary!" Isabel said as she ran into the room Liz and I were sitting in.
"God, you act like you four! Sis, calm down," Mick, her twin, stated as he entered the room.
"Well, Mick shouldn't have been through your old journal." "Well, that was a long time ago. Your Mom and I didn't get along very well. Max was your mother's old boyfriend. He was around before me. Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"Who is Alice!" Isabel said quickly.
"No, we are not going there again!" Liz said.
"Your mother's right, no go play with your dolls or something." I said while pushing them out of the room. "Now Mrs. Guerin, its time for us to have some fun!" I picked Liz up and carried her into our bedroom and dropped her on the bed. "Ok, Mr. Guerin. Come and get me."
Outside the door, Mick and Isabel were bugging each other when they heard the doorbell ring. There stood a tall man. "Is Liz Parker here?" he asked as Mick answered the door.
"I don't know any Liz Parker. My mom's name is Liz though. Hold on. Hey Isabel!"
"Is Isabel here? Is Alex here to?" the man said.
"No, Uncle Alex isn't here. Neither is Aunt Isabel but my sister Isabel is here." After Mick said this, Isabel showed up. "Is mom's maiden name Parker?"
"Yea, so." Mick turned to the man. "Then yup she is. Only her last name ain't Parker. It's Guerin. Like ours." Mick said. Just then Liz and I walked out to see who was at the door.
"Max."
The End
Well, Liz gave me this idea of a journal. I didn't want to do it but Max agrees with Liz and now I have to. God. I don't want to write some shitty stuff. I'm not a journal writing guy. I'm a bad ass. I don't write down my feelings. I keep them locked up inside me. Well, thanks to Max's girlfriend I got to! "IF YOU HAD A JOURNAL TO PUT ALL YOUR FEELINGS IN, MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T ACT LIKE THE JERK YOU ARE!" Liz said. What does she know? I'm the one who risks my life most of the time! I'm not the one with the anger problem! That's Maria. I don't know why I'm with her. She just bugs me most of the time. Frankly, I'd rather go out with Liz.
So. Here I am. In my room, writing. I don't see the purpose in this. Well, the good thing now is Max, Isabel, and Tess has to do it too. So I'm not alone. Tess's journal is most likely going to be filled with stuff like "Max is so hot" and "I love Max". A lot of shit if you ask me. I wonder, am I supposed to write Dear Journal? Why am I writing this crap? Max says I got to write two paragraphs. Well I did, so I'm stopping. Bye.
~*~Crashdown~*~
"So, how's the journalizing going?" Maria asked.
"It's a bunch of crap. I hate it," I said. Why was Maria asking me this shit? She knows how I feel about journalizing. What is the point? Ah, now little Miss Princess decides to show up for work.
"Sorry I'm late dad," Liz said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Late again Parker?" I said.
"I have a first name you know," she said as she walked up to Maria and me.
"Do you have the alien picture?" Maria asked.
"Yup. I got one of Michael in his human and alien form."
"Hey, don't make fun of my baby. Ok, I gotta go. See ya later." Maria got on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. I hate when she does that. It's so goddamn annoying. I think I'm going to break up with her. I want out.
"Bye Maria," Liz said. She then turned to me. "Now it's off to the world of waiting on people obsessed with aliens. Yippee."
"Hope ya have fun," I said. Why did I say that? It just popped out. I got back to cooking.
~*~Later~*~
"Good night Liz. You can lock up right?" Nancy said.
"Yup. Night. God. I'm beat. Michael, you still here?" Liz called. I was in the back talking to Maria at the time.
"Michael, I think it's time to go our separate ways," Maria said.
"We're breaking up aren't we?"
"Well, in simple terms, yup."
"Ok Fine."
"You're not going to put up a fight?"
"No. I'm not. You can go now."
"MICHAEL. ARE YOU HERE?" Liz called.
"YEAH. HOLD ON." I called back.
"Ok than. I'll see you later." Maria left. Why didn't I fight her? Yeah I said I wanted to break up but I didn't think she felt the same way. Why didn't I fight? Am I tired? I don't know. Liz walked into the kitchen. Being mad at myself, I punched the wall causing a whole. When I pulled my hand back out, it was bleeding.
"Here, run it under the water. I'll be right back with bandages," Liz said while turning on the water. I did as she told me.
"Liz, I can heal it."
"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that." Liz watched me as I healed my hand. I helped Liz lock up and than went home.
Dear Journal thing,
So. Maria broke up with me. I thought I was supposed to break up with here. Ok. Top Five break ups in chronological order.
1. Ashley
2. Mary
3. Anna
4. Carry
5. Sara
Look Maria. Your name does not come up on that list does it? Maybe you're in the top ten but not in the top five. If you really wanted to screw me up, ya should have gotten to me earlier! So. Number one. Ashley. I don't remember any of these girls' last names. Well. Seventh grade. Girls had just developed them us guys were fascinated with them. So my relationship with her lasted three hours. Three days, right after school. Fourth day, she's making out with Kyle. Maybe that's one of the reasons I don't really like Kyle. Well, all my other break ups are kinda like that. All mixed up.
~*~My Apartment~*~
I heard a knock on the door. I had just woken up too. "WHAT," I screamed at the door. I heard another knock on the door. I grabbed my shirt and put it on. I went to the door and opened it. There was Max and Liz. "Come in. You don't mind if I eat my breakfast do you?"
"Michael. It's two," Liz stated.
"So. Why does that matter?" I pulled out a bowl and poured my cereal in it.
"It's journal check up time," Max stated.
"I thought journals were private." I picked my journal up and thrusted it at him. He caught it.
"Maria broke up with you?" Liz said surprised. "Well, that would explain why I saw her kissing Kyle last night."
"She was kissing Kyle. Dammit!" I hit the table.
"I guess this isn't a good time. C'mon Liz. Let's go."
"No. I just want to talk to him alone for a while."
"Ok. See ya later," Max said giving Liz a little kiss. I was pissed off. Maria kissed Kyle last night? She must have done it after we broke up. Why would she want to kiss Kyle?
"Michael. I gotta problem. I have to break up with Max."
"Gee Liz. I thought you were smart. Why would you give up a great relationship like that one you got going on?"
"You think I want to break up with him? I don't want to but I have to!" Liz bursted into tears. She was hiding something from me. I could feel it.
"What do you mean you don't want to but you have to?"
"Max from the future told me I had to. He said the world would end if I didn't. He said I had to push him towards Tess. But I don't want to."
"Well. What were you planning on doing?"
"I don't know. I thought that if he saw me in bed with Kyle he might of thought that I...."
"That you did it with him?"
"Yeah. But I couldn't do that to him. I love him to much."
"Alright. Come here. Sit on the couch. First step. You gotta stop crying." I sat down on the couch with her. She buried he head in my shirt. I was ran my hand through her hair. Rocking her back and forth. "Ok, listen. I'm going to help you with this. I know you're only doing this to protect everyone. Ok. Listen..."
Dear Journal,
Well, I didn't write in ya yesterday because of Liz. I can understand that she didn't want to but had to. Max was devastated but if he only knew why she did it. Oh well. He'll get over it. He always does. Liz is here. She's asleep, right next to me. Is this bad? I mean, I'm the one that's supposed to comfort and protect everyone that knows I'm an alien right? She cried a day. Well basically. All today, Max treated her like she was nothing. I wanted to pinch out his eyes and make him see the truth. Even if I did tell the truth, he'd just blow up in my face. Maria has been a real bitch too. Isabel is on Liz's side. But that's because Max won't let her go to college. Tess is on Max's of course. But this is good for her right? I mean in the end, she and Max might get together Liz and Max are gone. What they had was so special, and Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.
Ok. Number two. Mary. I was 16. Mary was nice... She was s nice that she wouldn't let me put my hand on top of her bra, let alone under it. Well. To me, a guy, it didn't go anywhere. So she was no use to me. Four days after the break up, Kyle said he had sex with her on the second date! I mean what the hell! Am I bad at making out or something? You know. Kyle has been with all the girls I have been with! Doesn't this seem fucking wrong? The tiny bitched assed bastard. Ok calming down. I am so not fucking calming down. What is it that Kyle has that I don't? This is begging to bring me down a lot. Do they think I'm not fully endowed? Well yeah sure, I think it's a little small but most guys' do it's a typical guy thing. I'm sure Max does it too! Oh well. Now, there's just a little question I have to ask Kyle.
~*~Later~*~
Liz stirred as she awoke. She looked beautiful for a girl that's been crying al day. I mean, she looked so nice and peaceful when she slept, but now. All I can say is wow! "Good Morning Parker Did you have a nice sleep?" I said sitting up with a newspaper in hand. She looked at me and smiled. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long time.
"You know, I just had the weirdest dream. It was actually nice." She sat up in the bed too. I put my paper down on the stand next to me bed.
"What was this weird dream about?" I asked. Did she dream about me? It was probably Max.
"Are you sure you want to know?" I nodded my head as to say yes. "Ok. Well I dreamt that we were together and well we, you know."
"Well" I said in a sort of squeaky voice. I cleared my throat. "Well, sounds like a nice dream. Did I have, well, you know, a umm."
"Yes you had a nice one."
"Was I any good?"
"Good is an understatement."
"Weird cause in my dreams. I'm really inadequate. In both departments." Liz laughed. Was she moving on? I mean, I know it must still hurt her, but she just had a dream that we were together. I don't know.
~*~Crashdown~*~
"So Michael, did Liz tell you about her dream?" Isabel asked. I smiled.
"Why yes. She told me about it this morning." I said smiling. Isabel looked at Liz who was looking at me. I looked at Liz. Was I falling in love with her? Well, if I was that would be a big problem. Max had a scowl upon his face. He seemed to have a look of disgust in his eyes as he watched Liz and me. Well Liz caught him staring at her. She got up and walked into the kitchen. "God Max, what is your problem?"
"What's my problem? She goes behind my back, and now she's flirting with you. Really Michael. You've become blind."
"Max, you owe her your goddamn life."
"What do you mean."?
"Put the two together smartass." I walked into the kitchen leaving everyone speechless. I walked up to Liz and put my arms around her. "It will be ok. He will get over it. You saved his life that night. Don't you ever forget that." I whispered into her ears.
"Ok." She turned to face me. "I'm glad at least I have someone to depend on." She hugged me. I felt warm. My arms tightened around her. My heart beated fast.
"Hey, anyone wanna play Friends Trivia?" We heard Alex say. Always leave it up to Alex to try to make everyone smile. "Isabel is very lucky to have a guy like Alex," Liz said smiling. "C'mon." I took her hand in mine. We walked back into the room. "Well Alex. Get that game out. It's about time we had some fun!"
"Alright Captain!" Alex said pulling out the game.
Dear Journal,
Hey again. We played the trivia game for a while. Max loosened up luckily. Maxwell can be such an asshole sometimes. Really, he is so selfish. I'm glad Liz is not with him anymore. How could she love someone like him? Ok. I guess I'm developing a crush on her. I mean I've had a crush on her since the 3rd grade, but that's beside the point. Ok. I'm sweating. She's in my bathroom, in my shower. I'm going crazy! I mean, it's hard with Max dropping by every five seconds. Now I got Liz hear. I'm falling for her. All I think about is her. When I'm with her, the room gets really hot. Then when she's gone, the temperature drops dramatically! I haven't taken anything if that's what you think. No way. I don't do that shit.
Ok. Number three. Anna. Anna was gorgeous. I thought she would be the one. I was 16. She was very talkative, very hott. I fell for her hard. So, she was an artist. She hung out with a lot of guys. I was always afraid that she'd leave me for one of them. Well, she did. It was raining hard. I was outside her apartment. I screamed at her window. When she came to the window, she just had a sheet on, then I saw him. He pulled her back. I never really got over Anna. Well, I guess I did. Cause now I'm crazy for Liz. Elizabeth Parker. If she ever read this, I don't know what I'd do.
~*~After entry~*~
I put the journal down. What am I going to do? The water was just turned off. So, she'll be walking out here in a towel, going through my droors to find a shirt. She just walked in. I watched do as I thought. She pulled out a Green Day shirt and put it on. The she pulled out one of my boxers and slipped them on. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. I'll wash these and give them back to you later," Liz said. I was to busy paying attention to her body.
"What, Oh yeah. So what do you want to do?" I said regaining my conscious.
"I dunno, what do you want to do?" Liz said as she sat down beside me on the bed.
"I..." I said in a squeaky voice yet again. I cleared my voice "I don't care." I could feel my sweat running down my face.
"Michael, are you ok? You're sweating." She placed her hand on my forehead "Michael, your burning up. Are you feeling ok."
"Yeah. I'm fine. Um, want to see a movie?"
"No Michael. We're not going anywhere. You are going to stay in bed and I'm going to make you some soup and take care of you." Liz pulled the covers over me. She walked into the kitchen. About fifteen minutes later, she came back in with the soup. I took the bowl and began to eat. Then she grabbed the bowl. "No. I'm feeding you!"
"Parker, I can feed myself."
"Nope. You helped me now I'm going to get you better. Alien or not." She fed me and I loved every single second of it. She read me stories. Told me her strange dreams. I was falling for her. I was falling hard. I didn't know why.
"Hey. Can you put on Elva? Number 16. I want you to hear this song." I said. She put the CD on and went forward. When she reached it, she pressed play.
"I can feel the world up on my back, I got sixteen people breathin' down my neck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright, So just hang on, cause I, I won't be long, Just sing that song to me, Goes I'm in love with you in love with me, Cause I'm in love with you in love with me, And I can feel your breath upon my neck, One last caress, I'm a nervous wreck, And it's kinda hard to keep your head afloat, When the rain won't stop and your face is soaked, But I'm alright, alright" the song went.
"Nice the 'I'm in love with you part'?" I said. Why was I doing this? I was telling her I loved her. I do love her. WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING YOURSELF THE DAMN QUESTIONS? I wanted her to tell me she loved me but I don't think she will. "I love you Elizabeth Parker I'm in love with you. I just want to know if you're in love with me."
"Michael. I think I am." She looked at me and smiled. I smiled at her. We kissed. I mean, there explosions in that kiss. Fireworks and everything. I didn't want to let go.
Dear Journal,
Well. Here I am, with Liz next to me asleep. She loves me. She told me she loved me. I must be in a dream or something. All I can think about is her. She told me she loved me. I still can't get it through my head. Shit. Max is gonna read this. Shit Shit Shit. Journal check up time tomorrow and Max is gonna learn why Liz broke up with him. Then, he is gonna try and get her back. Dammit. But he'll read this. He'll see what I just wrote. I ain't aloud to cross out anything either. Great going Michael. You blew it. Go on Michael, congratulate yourself on your stupidity. Really Michael. You're loosing it. Oh well. Fuck Max. I love Liz and she loves me. And if he is pissed off about it, he can go crap on himself. Maria will find out to. Dammit. I gotta get out. But I can't leave her. I won't. I won't run away. I'm not Max.
~*~Morning~*~
I awoke to hearing the shower running. I looked over next to me. Liz wasn't there. Must be in the shower I thought. Then, I had to take a piss. Perfect timing right. Well, there isn't another toilet in this apartment. I walked in minding my own business. "Michael, what are you doing?" Liz asked, still taking a shower. I unzipped my pants and did my business.
"I need to flush the toilet."
"Hold on." I heard the water stop running. Liz walked out and quickly wrapped a towel around her. "I was done. You can carry on."
"Oh, I'm done." I flushed the toilet and walked up to her.
"Um. XYZ Michael." I looked down. I felt my face go hot. I quickly turned around and zipped up my pants.
"So how did you like the shower?" I asked. The realizing what I had said, I hit myself on the head. "Nice talking Michael," I said to myself.
"What did you say?"
"Oh nothing, nothing. I was just talking to myself. Yea." Liz giggled. She then went to my dresser and pulled out another one of my shirts. As she was putting on the shirt, she dropped the towel. I turned around quickly, trying to control myself. I can't help watching her. I mean, she's beautiful, kind, loving, and has one of the best bodies I've ever seen. I turned back around. She was fully dressed in one of my shirts and one of my cut up jeans. "So, what do you want for breakfast?"
All right, forget the whole Dear Journal thing. I don't want it. To do that anymore. Well. Liz and I have been getting along great. Max is a little annoyed at me. Maria, well Maria is just giving everyone a hard time. I'm glad it's over. So. Number four, Carry. Carry and I were perfect for each other. She had just broken up with and asshole named Jake. I had just broken up with Anna. We connected. It was perfect. We were getting along great. I didn't have to worry about her leaving because we were in the same boat and we understood each other. Well, she left me. 'I met another guy" she said. Who was the guy? I don't know. She never told me. So, I'll never know. All I know was she met another guy. It was probably Kyle. Who else could it be? He goes after every one of my exes's. He does it on purpose most likely. I hate him.
Liz grabbed my journal and began to read my entry. "Liz give it back." Liz giggled.
"I knew it! Same with Anna and Mary!"
"Ok, well what else do you have in here." Liz started to flip the pages. I tried to grab it but she moved to fast.
"Liz, don't make me get rough with you." Liz still read.
"Ah, here is the story with Anna."
"Well, I warned you." I picked her up.
"Put me down Michael. Put me down and I'll stop reading," Liz said laughing. I put her down on the bed. I laid on top of her. I took the book and threw it behind me. You can guess what happened next. I don't want to share all the juicy details.
~*~Later~*~
"Well, good night Michael. If I don't go home, Mom will wonder where I have been." She kissed me.
"Alright. I'll be around later to make sure your ok." Liz left. Now. It was five and I got nothing to do. I decided to go down to Max's. I brought my journal that way if I got too bored there, I could write. When I got there, I walked in without knocking or ringing the doorbell. "Hello everyone." I said while sitting down on the couch with Alex.
"Hey Michael. How are you?"
"Fine I guess. Are you waiting for Iz?"
"Yup, and she thinks I take a long time!"
"Yup, know what ya mean."
"You do?"
"I have had a share of girlfriends." Alex nodded.
"Iz, look at me. Will you look at me?" we heard Max say. I turned to Alex.
"Won't talk to him?" Alex nodded. I got up. "I'll be right back." I walked into Isabel's room. Isabel was sitting on her bed tying her shoe. Max was leaning on her dresser. Isabel looked up and smiled when she saw me.
"Hey Mike," she said.
"Great, she'll talk to you but she won't talk to me."
"Watch this. Hey Iz. I don't think you should go to college too," I said with a straight face. She glared at me. "Just kidding. Of course I want you to go to College!" I said smiling. "Your boyfriend is waiting for you. Better hurry or you will never get him off that couch." Isabel hurried out of the room.
"Michael. I know why she's mad at me. That doesn't mean she has to give me the silent treatment."
"Max, she will start talking to you again. Just give her some time."
"Did you bring your journal?"
"Yeah. Thought I might get bored here." I said. Max and I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I flipped the channel trying to find something good on. Max looked through my journal making sure everything was going ok. "Friends is on. Oh, It's the blackout. My favorite episode! Hey Max, look." Max was concentrating hard on one page. "Max, did you find something interesting in my journal?"
"Yea. It says 'I can understand that she didn't want to but had to.' What does that mean Michael?"
"I can't say. I promised I wouldn't."
"And it also says 'Liz did what she had to do. If she didn't, I'd most likely be dead in the future. I owe my life to her. So does everyone else.' What do you mean by that?"
"Max. You can't tell Liz that I told you. You gotta promise me." "I promise. I will not tell Liz that you told me."
"Max, the future you visited her one night. He said that the world would end if you guys stayed together. He said that Liz had to end it. I helped her."
"So you mean she still loves me?"
"Max think. How could she love you after what you did to her? You treated he like shit after you saw her with another guy. You treated her like she was nothing. You know how many nights I had to calm her down because she was crying so much?" Max wasn't paying any attention to me. He was still looking at the entries.
"You fell in love with her. It says so right in your journal." I looked down. He went to the next page. "She told you that she loved you. She loves you?" I nodded. I couldn't lie to him. "She's in love with you. I could see it but I didn't want to believe it."
"Max. You lost her. It just kills you that you happened to lose her to me right? Liz and me? Right impossible to you. How could a girl love someone like me? Well she does. Polar attraction. That's what they call it right?"
"Get out. Leave. Go away. I don't want to see you." I grabbed my journal.
"What ever you want you majesty." I turned and left. When I was outside, I heard him scream. I waked away. I did my rounds. When I got to Liz's I saw Max's car in the front. I walked around to her balcony. There I heard Max screaming and Liz trying to keep him quiet. Than I heard her begin to cry. I couldn't listen to that anymore. I climbed the fire escape up to her balcony. When, I reached her room. I saw Max shaking her violently. I grabbed Max and pulled him off her. "Get out of here." He didn't move. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I screamed. We heard footsteps coming up stairs.
"Liz, are you ok? Liz?" Max jumped out of the window and left. I bent down beside Liz. I help her against me. The door opened. There stood Liz's parents. They saw me rocking Liz back and forth. She was still crying. I knew I was going to have to explain some things very soon.
Liz was crying. Max was gone. Liz' parents were pissed. Boy was I in trouble. "What the hell happened here?" Liz's father screamed.
"I'm sorry sir, but I was walking and I heard a commotion here so I came to check if everything was ok. Well, I found some guy trying to hurt her so I scared him away." I said. I had to cover for Max. He's my king. I had to.
"Ok Michael. Thank you. Did you get a good look at this man?"
"No. I'm sorry sir, I didn't. I pulled him off her, yelled at him and he ran. I'll track him down. I promise." I stood up to leave.
"Michael, don't leave me please," Liz said still letting out little sobs. I bent down beside her.
"I won't leave you. Not tonight. I'll be out on the balcony, keeping watch. I'm never going to leave you," I said. I couldn't. Not with Max acting like this. He would come back to finish it. I knew he would. Liz stood up. She walked over to her bed and sat down. Liz's parents left knowing that she would be safe. I sat on the window ledge watching the stars waiting for Max to come back.
"You told him. You told him and he found out didn't he. Michael, how did he find out." She looked at me, her eyes bloodshot.
"He read a journal entry. The whole check up thing. When he found out about the future Max and he thought there was still hope. But read further. He found out. He said he wasn't going to tell you. Well he didn't but he knew that meant not doing this."
"Michael, you told him. After I told you not to. Michael how can I trust you."
"I saved your goddamn life didn't I. Doesn't that count. Doesn't it count that I'm madly in love with you? Doesn't it count that I would die for you?"
"Michael, you'd die for anyone one of us. Including Max." I looked down at my shoes. It was true. I'd die for any of them, even Maxwell. "You couldn't even tell my parents that it was Max."
"Don't Liz. You don't know. I have to put up with his shit all the time. I have to protect him. That's what I do. I protect Max, Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Tess, and you. That's what my purpose in life is. I protect the ones that know what I am. I protect those that are the same as me. I think by know you would have known that. Dammit Liz. I just saved you from being assimilated! And this is how you repay me. By giving me all this bull shit on how you can't trust me because I told Max something he was going to find out anyway?"
"Michael, I didn't mean it like that. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of the guy that I went out with! I'm afraid of someone who said they loved me till the end of the earth!" Liz began to cry again. I sat down next to her. I held her. She seemed so weak and helpless. I then heard someone coming up onto the balcony. It was Maria.
"Get off of her Michael, you, you asshole!" she screamed. I let go of Liz and stood up.
"What are you talking about?"
"Max told me everything. You come here, start beating her and then when Max comes to see her, you go crazy! You are such a..."
"Maria, shut up. You don't know bull shit! Now sit down and comfort her. Lock the window. Don't open it till I get back. Liz will tell you what happened. I have to go and find Max." I jumped out the window, leaving Liz with Maria. I knew Max was here. He could get in now. This was the perfect trap.
~*~Two Days Later~*~
I was sitting at home watching TV when I heard a knock on the door. It was Max. "We need to get out of town. Now. All of us."
"What? What's going on?"
"Alex. He died. We think someone murdered him. We think the person who did knows that we're here. They're coming after us."
"Holy shit! What the. Alex. He's fucking dead. Wait. He can't. He went to a place, over seas. Whatever. Alex can't be dead!"
"He is Michael. Isabel, Tess, you, and I have to leave. We can't endanger Kyle, Maria, or Liz."
"You mean like you did?" There was another knock on the door.
"Police we need to ask you some questions. Now open up."
"Out the window. Out the window. Max move now and be quiet." I walked over to the door and opened it. I didn't believe what I saw. It couldn't be. No, he was... dead.
I could kill Max right now. He got me all shooken up about Alex and he really wasn't dead! Isabel, Alex, Tess, Maria, Max, and Liz are mad at me. This must be what hell is like. Sometimes I wish I did have to deal with my life. I want to leave Roswell. I could, if I wanted to. They wouldn't stop me. I know it. They cast me out in an instant. I can feel it. I know it. In my heart and head.
Maybe I should leave. Get out of their way. Get out of their life. Why not. A permanent vacation. Maybe I'll meet someone who can tell me about where I can from. Why not. The world wouldn't end if I did. They would be just fine.
~~Later~~
I was putting my belongings in the back of my brand new truck. I was leaving. I was leaving for good. "Hey! Where are you going?" I heard someone say behind me.
"Somewhere. Don't know yet. Wanna come with Iz?" I said as I turned around to face her.
"You know I would but, I can't. I gotta family." She steeped closer to me.
"I see you're not mad at me anymore."
"I read Max's journal. He doesn't know though. Sorry, its just Liz said..."
"Yea. I kinda got what she said. Kyle is still chasing her and Max and she are back together. Looks like everything worked out great."
"For them. But not for you?"
"Things worked out fine for me. I'll call you next time I'm in Roswell." I walked up to Isabel and hugged her. I couldn't believe I was leaving. I was leaving her. Isabel is my best friend. I'm gonna miss her. I got in the car and turned on the ignition. Isabel waved goodbye as I began to drive away. I drove down to the crashdown to say goodbye to the gang for the last time. I didn't know if they would look at me or not, but, I still am gonna try. I walked into the not so crowded restaurant. Sheriff Valenti was sitting in a booth with Kyle talking. Liz was taking their orders. Maria was at the other side of the room taking Alex's and Max's orders. It wasn't long till the gang noticed me. Maria walked up to me with a disgusted look on her face.
"What are you doing here?" Everyone gathered around her also giving me glares. I looked down. I heard Max chuckle. "I'm just here to say good bye. But I see that you guys don't seem to care so I'm just going to go." Sheriff Valenti walked up to us. He looked at me and then back at the group. I turned to leave when Liz tapped my shoulder.
"What do you mean, goodbye."
"I'm leaving Roswell Liz. I'm leaving for good. Why do you care? You couldn't even tell them the truth." Liz opened her mouth to come back with a harsh statement but I cut her off. "You know very goddamn well why I couldn't tell your parents the truth. Maxwell is the king. I am the soldier. I serve him. I keep him out of danger. You know what I don't know why I am explaining this to you. You probably believe that lie. Why bother." I turned to leave again. This time no one stopped me. I walked out, got into my car and drove off. It was the last time I saw Roswell for a long time.
~~5 Years Later~~
I walked up to the front of the school. It was five years ago that I left. I didn't know where everyone was. "I thought you were going to call me!" I turned around and saw Isabel. She looked exactly the same as when I left. She ran up to me and gave me a hug.
"Hey, I meant to call, I really did. I missed you" She let go of me and smiled.
"I've missed you too." I looked down on her at her hands. I diamond ring was placed on her left ring finger.
"Isabel! Are you? Who?"
"Alex. He asked me yesterday. I'm so gad your here! This has been the best week of my life!" She got in the car and popped her head out of the window. "Well, come on. We gotta go see everyone!"
I got in the car and we drove down to the crashdown. Sure enough, Alex and Kyle were sitting in a booth talking. "Hey guys. We got a stranger in our mist," Isabel said as we walked up to their table. They looked up. Kyle's jaw dropped while Alex leaped up and gave me a hug. With in seconds he had let go.
"Sorry Michael It's just. Oh my god! Your back!" Alex grabbed Isabel's hand and squeezed it. "He's back! He's back!" He screamed. The next thing I heard was Maria's voice.
"Whose back? Alex. You're going to scare away all the costumers!" she said as she walked out of the kitchen. She saw me and leaped in the air. "Michael's back! Michael's back! Oh my god! Michael's back!"
"Why did you think I was going to scare away the customers! You are. Then again, like we get anymore!" Alex said. I looked at him with a puzzled expression on my face.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, ever since Liz left with Max, everything's been going downhill!" Alex stated.
"Liz is gone?"
"Yea." Maria said.
"Where's Liz?" I asked desperately. My throat felt clogged. My stomach was swelling. My heart was pounding fast. Did she leave me? Did she just forget about me? Did she fall for Max again? Is the world going to end?
"She left with Max. We don't know where they went." Kyle said.
"Actually. I do. They wrote me. They're married. She's moved on Michael. Please Michael. Don't beat yourself up for this." "I have to Isabel. The world is going to end! Did Max mention that in his journal? Well. Did he? You have to understand. It's my fault. I let Max read my journal. He found out. He went crazy. He attacked Liz. I couldn't tell Liz's parents he did. I lost her that night! I have to beat myself up over this. I need to find them. If I don't, we're dead."
"Oh my god," Maria said clutching her chest. Kyle wrapped his arms around her.
"It'll be ok Maria. We're going to find them. You're not going to die."
"Kyle! We haven't even told them yet and we are going to die in a matter of time! How are we going to find them!" Maria said.
"Tell us what?" I asked. What was Maria talking about?
"This." Maria stuck out her left hand, which held another diamond ring. "Kyle and I are getting married. We got together last year." Isabel began to jump up and down.
"DOUBLE WEDDING! DOUBLE WEDDING!" she screamed. I sat in the boot next to Alex and clasped my forehead. My head was pounding already. I had been back for a half-hour and already I had a headache.
"Can we get back on track. No mare talk of weddings. Where are they Iz?" I said impatiently. She calmed down and straightened her clothes.
"They're in New Mexico." I got up and walked out to the car. The rest followed me.
"Oooh! A convertible! Nice going Michael." Maria said. I got in my car."
"Everybody, get in now. Maria. Go lock the door. We are going to be gone for a while."
"Ok" Maria ran inside. Within fifteen minuets, she was back out with a black book in her hand. I recognized it right away.
"What are doing with Liz's Journal?" I asked. I hadn't read any thing in it since I last took it. I told her I was happy to have her as a friend.
"I thought we might look in it. See what she wrote. You know. She left two years ago. So some stuff might be recent." She opened the book to the last page.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 18, 2003
Dear Journal,
My heart still aches at the thought of Michael not loving me anymore. He's gone and he's never coming back. I lost him. Forever. Max. I can't stand to look at him and yet I'm with him. Maybe I'll learn to love him again. I just wish Michael would come and rescue me from this hellhole but I know he's not coming back. Look at you. My Last entry before I leave with Max and you're covered with tears. I'm so sorry. You had to be burdened with my problems and needs. It's just that I love and yet still hate Michael. I am not but yet am over him. It hurts. I wish I could get rid of my pain. Maybe if I killed myself, I could but I'm too scared. I hate this. I try to be kind and happy but I'm not. I can't forgive. I can't forget. I can't give in. What went wrong? He said this was right. He fucked up my life. I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I kicking.
~Liz~
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Michael, don't worry. She was going through a rough time. You didn't ruin her life. You made her happy. You were her night in shinning armor. Not Max." Maria said. I turned on the ignition.
"We're going. Where are they in New Mexico Isabel." I said starring straight ahead.
"They're in Las Carusis," Isabel said. I began to drive. When we arrived, we found a hotel and rested. We then went out to eat. There, we saw Liz. I put one my glasses and cap right away. I didn't want her to see me. We sat in a booth and within two minuets she was at our table ready to take orders.
"Isabel! Alex! Maria! Kyle! What are you doing here? God I've missed you!" Liz cried. I looked down her voice sounded sweeter than I had remembered.
"We came to visit you. Oh and this is Andrew. He just moved to Roswell," Isabel said quickly when Liz noticed me.
"Oh. Hi. I'm Liz Parker," Liz said. I looked at her through my sunglasses.
"Hi. Andrew Carlton." I said in a deeper voice.
"Um, can you take off your sunglasses?" I looked at her. She looked at me.
"I'm blind. My eyes aren't pretty to see."
"Oh. Well what about your cap?" I took off my cap and placed it on the table. Liz eyes widened. "Oh."
"What" I said looking forward. I moved my hand on the table to make it seem that I couldn't see my cap
. "You just have the same hair color and cut of someone I used to know." She picked up my cap and handed it to me. "You can wear it if you want."
"No, it's ok." I said in my natural voice. Alex kicked me from underneath the table. "Ow. I mean Ow." I said in a deeper voice again. I gave Alex a hard stare, which made Alex shrink back in his seat.
"Ok. Um, what would you like." I picked up a menu and tried to feel for those dots the usually have.
"I'm sorry, we don't have those type menus. We have burgers. Kinda like at the crashdown without the gross names. By the way, how's the place going?" Just then, Max walked in. I began to shiver. He walked over to the booth and placed his hand on Liz's belly.
"How's my wife?"
"Fine Max. Look who's here." I could feel Max starring at me as I looked forward.
"Michael," Max said simply. Liz looked at me and then back at Max.
"No. Max that's their new friend Andrew. Right?" Isabel couldn't speak. I got out of the booth and looked at Max. I was still towering over him.
"Hi Max. How are you?" I said as I took off my glasses and cap. I wasn't going to have Max boss me around. I came here for a reason.
"Oh my god. Michael? But, I don't understand." I turned to Liz and looked at her with longing eyes. Hers were beginning to tear.
"Yeah Liz. I'm sorry. But how stupid are you. What happened to the smart Liz? You knew the world might end. You knew many lives were at stake and yet you went and did it. Liz, you did what you did for a reason. Remember?" Liz began to cry. "Yes. I remember," she said helplessly.
"Then why? And you think this hurt Liz?" I pulled out her journal and threw it onto the table. "You remember that. I fucked up your life right? If I remember correctly, you got mad at me for writing down something you didn't want Max to know. You just did that to me." I walked to the door. When I turned around, Liz was on the floor covering her mouth to stifle her sobs. "Liz. I didn't fuck up yours. You fucked up mine. You made me become the guy I didn't want to be. I wanted to be the tough guy. The only problem I wanted to have was people knowing what I am. But then you came along. You said that you loved me. You gave me worries. The problem I had was the fact that you might go back to Max. I was afraid he was going to find out about us. He did. He attacked you. I didn't tell your parents he did and you know why I couldn't tell. Yet you went back to him, knowing that the world would end within only a couple years. Liz. I still love you. You also wrote in that last entry that you wanted me to rescue you. Well here I am. Do you still want that? Unlike you. I can forgive. I can forget. I can give in. Will you just give me the chance?" Liz looked at me.
"No Michael. I can't."
"Ok. I just became you. Now I know it's true. I can't forgive. I can't forget. I can't give in. You want to know what went wrong? I went wrong. I was wrong to fall for you." I left. I left her. I got in my car and turned on the radio. I could comeback for them later. The songs soothed me a little. Was I being unfair? She was with Max. I just need to get over her. Just like Isabel said I had to. I had to let her go.
Dear Journal,
I haven't written in you in a long time. Sorry. Well. Liz and Max are together now. I have to giver her up don't I? I knew I would have to some time in my life. I held on to long. I read her last entry. She said I fucked up her life. When I saw her, I said she fucked up mine. Am I stupid or what? So here I am. Trying to move on. I just feel like I lost her too soon. She left to early. I had to have been prepared but I wasn't. The world is going to end. What if it end tomorrow? Will I be able to forgive and forget? Will I be able to give in? I don't think I will. I'm sick of always hearing, All those sad songs on the radio. All day it is there to remind, An over sensitive guy that he's lost and alone, I can't forgive, can't forget, Can't give in, what went wrong? Cos you said this was right, You fucked up my life. I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I'm kicking out fiercely at the world around me. What went wrong? I kicking.
~Michael~
Dear Journal,
It's been a month since I last saw Liz. I have gotten a job at a health plant. Don't know why, I just did. It's time to start a new life. I watched this movie called 'How to Succeed in Business without really trying'. I thought I could do that, so here I am. Trying out my new job. I have to take phone calls and input the new people into the database. It sounds easy. I know something's about computers. Well a little. Isabel actually got me the job. I'm really glad I have her as a friend. The wedding happened a week ago. They went with a double wedding. Max and Liz didn't show up. It hurt Isabel and Maria really bad. Maybe, after I make some money out of this job, I'll start a band or something. I don't want to be stuck here forever.
~At Work~
"Guerin. I would like to see you in my office for a minuet," my new boss said as she walked into the room. She was also the President! She was young and very.... attractive. She was wearing a short black skirt and a bright red halter. I never knew that they were aloud to wear stuff like that. Well anyway, I walked into her office. "Shut the door and sit down please." I did as she said and sat down. "Mr. Guerin. You are very important to this company. You seem to be bringing in a lot of people. We have sky rocketed. You will be getting a promotion soon. Well now. You, Mr. Guerin, have just become Vice President of this branch." I looked at her with shock. She could tell. "Don't be so shocked Mr. Guerin. Can I call you Michael?" she said as she walked over to my seat.
"Um. Yea, sure," I said. She bent down which caused her to show a little more of herself.
"You can call me Alice. Michael, you will be in here very often. You do know that right?" She placed her hand on my chest, which then ran down.
"Um, yea," I said in a squeaky voice. She laughed. "Um what happened to the other VP?"
"He quit. But that doesn't interfere with anything does it?" she said as she squeezed my, well you know. I jumped up from the chair. "He quit because he wanted to go into other things. Music or something. I wished him the best of luck. He is very talented. It's good that he moved on. It's good for me and you."
"Oh, um, ok." I stood up as to leave. She grabbed my shirt and pulled me close.
"Listen Michael. I really like you." She grabbed my ass with one hand and stuck her other hand down my pants. "But, we can't let anyone find out about this, ok?" She squeezed hard.
"Yea...um, ah," I said stammering. I couldn't say it didn't feel great. It did. But I felt weird. I was still trying to get over Liz and here I was, letting my boss stick her hand down my pants and.... yea.
"Michael, does that feel nice. Does it feel great? If you accept this, you could have this feeling everyday. Do you accept?" "Um," she squeezed harder. "Sure, sure, yea." I said in an even higher voice.
"Good," she said. She licked her lips. "I wanna try something else." She unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them. She just about to whip it out when I backed away
. "Listen. I can't. I'm not that type of guy. Jeez. I should like a goddamn girl!" She laughed at this. She walked up to me and placed her hand on my chest.
"Michael. This may feel weird in the beginning, but it will get better. Trust me."
~Later~
I don't know why I did it. I'm so mad at myself. The doorbell rang. Soon I heard Isabel calling my name. "Michael?"
Michael, are you here?"
"Yes," I said in a gloomy voice.
"Michael, what's wrong?"
"I just had sex with my boss. I just did it. God. I'm so stupid."
"You did it with Alice?" Isabel said, her eyes wide with shock.
"Yea. I could kill myself." I punched the wall. I didn't give the wall any damage, but my hand was soon bruised and very sore. I ran my other hand over my hand, healing it.
"Why, how? I thought you still weren't over Liz." She sat down on the couch, I sat next to her.
"I'm still not over Liz. She called me into her office...." I explained the whole story to her. She stood up.
"Michael! She basically took advantage of you!"
"No, she didn't. I let her go ahead with it. It takes two to tango."
"Michael. I'm not going to let this pass. I'm going in. Do you have a picture of her?" I shook my head. "Oh, yea. I do! Hold on." She pulled out a picture of Alice. "Let the fun begin."
Dear Journal,
Another month has passed. I've been working and the health plant for while now. Alice, my boss, stopped. We've become pretty good friends. I guess she just thought that since I let her, it wasn't a problem. Now she just hugs me or gives me light kisses on my cheek. I'm ok with that. I haven't heard from Liz or Max yet. I can't seem to get her out of my head. She's the one. She's always been the one. Ever since the fifth grade I knew it. She was going to be the one. She was going to be my light, my dark, my hope, my dreams, she is my everything. I haven't been able to smile at all. Just thinking that Max and she might be thinking of children. That he can touch her, talk to her, let alone see and hear her. He is a very lucky guy. What if she was the only one for me? What if this was supposed to happen? What if she Max's and mine one and only. I don't know. I can still see her laugh and smile. I have a picture of her and me under my bed. I look at it every night. God I'm pathetic. I don't care anymore. I'd rather die then live knowing she doesn't love me anymore. It hurts. Is this what it always feels like? I really don't know anymore. I thought I had an answer to everything, but I don't. What really hurts is she's gone. She's been gone for five years and two moths now. I lot her a long time ago and yet I still can't let her go.
I place my journal on my nightstand. I was back in my old apartment. I don't know why I came back to this one. Maybe because of all the great memories I have of Liz here. I turned off my light and dreamt of her.
~~Dream~~
"Michael?" Liz's voice screamed. Michael walked around the house frantically, trying to find her. "Michael, please. Where are you." Michael could hear her cry. He finally found her in a room standing crying.
"I'm here Liz. I'm right here." Michael said as he walked up to her and held her in his arms.
"Michael," Liz said letting out little sobs.
"Shhh, I'm here. It's ok. I'm right here," Michael said while stroking her long brown hair.
"Michael.... you..... you..... have to ....let go....let go," Liz said unable to finish her sentence.
"Let go of what Liz?" Michael asked looking deep into her eyes trying to search for the answer. Then Max came up to her and pulled Liz away from him. Michael held onto Liz. He wasn't going to let go of her.
"You have to let go of her Michael," Max said still pulling Liz away.
"No I can't."
"You have to. It's over now. Let her go. It's the only way you'll move on. Now just let go." Michael let go of her. At that instant, Max and Liz began to walk away, while holding each other.
"No, Liz, Please, No Liz!" Michael screamed while running towards them, his arms out stretched as if he was trying to gain hold of her again. He just couldn't reach them, He couldn't reach her.
~Later~
Liz and I were sitting on my couch, pigging out on ice cream and watching movies. We had wrapped a big quilt around us. Liz turned and looked at me. "You even more handsome then I remembered. I was crazy to say no to that chance. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course. I would die a million deaths and more before I ever say no to you." Just then the doorbell rang.
"I'll get that. I might be Isabel! And Alex! I can't believe I missed their wedding!" Liz said happily as she got up and walked over to the door. I smiled.
"Excuse me, is Michael here?" said a familiar voice. Alice.
"Yes, who are you?"
"I'm his boss"
"Oh. Ok."
"Oh, and his girlfriend." Alice smiled at Liz.
"Who is it?" I called. When Liz didn't answer, I walked up to the door. "Alice! What are you doing here?"
"Michael, she says you're her boyfriend." Liz said trying to hold back her tears.
"No, Liz she's joking. She and I are not, no. Liz you have to believe me. Tell her you joking!"
"Don't be silly Michael. You and I have been going out for two months now. I'm wondering are you sleeping with her?" Liz looked at Alice.
"Don't worry, he isn't. He hasn't been for over five years now. I'll just leave you alone." Liz left the apartment.
"Wait, Liz. No. She's not my girlfriend," I called. I turned to Alice. "Leave now. I don't want to see or hear for you again you little bitch." I grabbed my coat and locked the door. "By the way, I quit." I ran down trying to find Liz. Her car was gone. I got in my car and drove after her. I was going to find her. I had to. I finally saw her car at Isabel and Alex's house. I pulled into their driveway. As I was about to go inside, I grabbed a small case out of the drivers compartment and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I ran into the house. "Liz, Liz." Isabel came out and tried to hold me back.
"No Michael, you better not go in. You better not."
"Let me through. I need to see her."
"No. I won't let you." I tried to walk by her but she put her hand on my chest and burned a hole in my shirt. I could feel my skin begin to burn. I pulled her off me and walked into the room. I found Liz on the bed with Alex next to her comforting her. I stopped in the doorway, unable to move. I soon felt Isabel's hand on my back. She was still trying to burn me. I didn't blame her. I deserved it. I deserved every single second of it. It hurt. I could feel my skin burning off. I pulled out the case and opened it.
"Liz." She looked up at me. "Liz" I panted trying to endure the pain. I collapsed onto my knees. Liz stood up and smacked me. "Liz." I said. She smacked me again. Isabel and her and still placed on my back. "Liz. I love you." At this, she hit me harder across the face. "Liz. I love you." Liz began to cry. "Liz. Marry me." She dropped to the ground in front of me.
"Isabel, take your hand off of him," I heard Alex say. I felt the burning stop.
"Liz. Marry me. I love you. Please. Marry me." Liz looked up at me. She smiled and looked at the ring. "Liz. I love you. I would do anything for you. I'm sorry if I have ever hurt you. I've done many wrong things in my life but I know I know in my heart and mind, that what I'm asking you is the right thing. Now, I know you might not take me back after what just happened and I don't blame you. I really don't. I don't deserve a beautiful, smart, and wonderful woman like you Liz. But I love you, and that won't stop me from trying and asking you." I said. Liz took the case from my hand. She put it on the floor. At that moment, I thought she was saying no. She then took off her wedding ring and placed the ring that I had given her in its place. At this I took her into my arms and held her. My tears were coming down fast.
"Yes Michael. You have just made me the happiest person in the whole universe. I have dreamt of this day for as long as I can remember. I love you."
"I guess that makes two." I smiled. We began to kiss when Alex interrupted.
"Um, what about Max. Not to spoil the moment or anything but you are still married to Max."
"Oh god. You are!" I placed my hands on top of my head. "Actually, she's not. She and Max got divorced a year ago. When we saw them, Max only called her his wife because he saw Michael. I'm not sure why Liz went along with it but they are divorced and so she is not married and now you can go back to making out!" Isabel said calmly. Liz smiled at me. As Isabel said, we did. Alex turned to Isabel and took her in his arms.
"Why yes. But that's one of the reasons why you married me isn't it?" Isabel said.
"Why yes. It is." Isabel and Alex kissed.
~Fifteen Years Later~
"Dad, Dad. FATHER! Mick read your old diary!" Isabel said as she ran into the room Liz and I were sitting in.
"God, you act like you four! Sis, calm down," Mick, her twin, stated as he entered the room.
"Well, Mick shouldn't have been through your old journal." "Well, that was a long time ago. Your Mom and I didn't get along very well. Max was your mother's old boyfriend. He was around before me. Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"Who is Alice!" Isabel said quickly.
"No, we are not going there again!" Liz said.
"Your mother's right, no go play with your dolls or something." I said while pushing them out of the room. "Now Mrs. Guerin, its time for us to have some fun!" I picked Liz up and carried her into our bedroom and dropped her on the bed. "Ok, Mr. Guerin. Come and get me."
Outside the door, Mick and Isabel were bugging each other when they heard the doorbell ring. There stood a tall man. "Is Liz Parker here?" he asked as Mick answered the door.
"I don't know any Liz Parker. My mom's name is Liz though. Hold on. Hey Isabel!"
"Is Isabel here? Is Alex here to?" the man said.
"No, Uncle Alex isn't here. Neither is Aunt Isabel but my sister Isabel is here." After Mick said this, Isabel showed up. "Is mom's maiden name Parker?"
"Yea, so." Mick turned to the man. "Then yup she is. Only her last name ain't Parker. It's Guerin. Like ours." Mick said. Just then Liz and I walked out to see who was at the door.
"Max."
The End