(Sorry this is so long, but it's the last chapter so I had to think about
it. he he, everyone wanted to know when Faye would show up! So here she is)
Chapter 7
The two Gunsmoke abductees were gazing open-mouthed from the boarding ramp of the Beebop. Nicholas wandered around a bit and Vash would have followed, had it not been that he was securely tied to a chair that Spike had placed on the ramp so Vash could take his first look at Ganymede without any chance of escape.
"Aw, c'mon! Lemme go!" Vash complained, wiggling one way then another. "I wanna see the space town! Can't I? Plus, I'm hungry. Do they have doughnuts?"
"Mmm. Space doughnuts from space town!" Ed squealed.
"Settle down!" Jet ordered. "We have to wait until Faye gets here."
"Who?" Vash asked.
"The other member of our crew." Jet explained.
"Whatever." Spike snorted, "I never said she could join."
"Well, if we have to wait, can't I at least get some food? I'm starving! Near death experiences do that to me!" Vash whined.
"You aren't going anywhere." Spike said with a surly growl. "You're too slippery. I haven't forgotten back at the bar."
Vash grinned sheepishly. "Hey, now. That wasn't personal or anything. Self preservation. Remember?"
Spike just glared at him. "You made me look like an idiot."
"Aw, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
"Actually," Nicholas interjected, "it was. You shoulda seen your face, Spike. It was hilarious."
"Yeah," Spike said, biting through his cigarette, "hilarious."
"Wolfwood, shut up will you?" Vash hissed. "What is it with you? I though you were on MY side."
Nicholas struck a noble pose, "I am a man of the church. I abstain from taking sides in any dispute. It is only in that way I can see the truth."
"Yeah," Vash grumbled, "man of the church my a-"
He was cut off by the small ship that approached them at reckless speed and landed with a crash.
"Finally," Jet said. "Took her long enough."
The hopper's engines cut and the hatch opened. The tall, green-eyed, scantily-clad Faye jumped to the ground, a snarl on her face.
"Hey, Faye," Jet called, "what happened to your bounty?"
Faye marched right up to Jet's face and pointed an aggressive finger in his face.
"Listen up, Jet, it's not my fault, okay? You left me to chase that guy all by myself. I called for backup and no one showed."
Jet put his hands up defensively. "Hey, wait a minute, Faye, I remember exactly what you said. You told me 'shove off, old man, I can take this one myself and don't expect me to split the cash with you'."
"Well you weren't supposed to LEAVE!" Faye stopped when she felt something bump into her. She looked down at Vash, who had hopped his chair over to her side. He gazed up at her with his blue eyes sparkling.
"My, if I had known that such a beautiful and wonderful lady such as you awaited me, I would have immediately bid Spike lead me to your side -"
WHACK!!
Faye deftly smacked Vash upside the head. His chair fell over and he landed sideways on the cold concrete, insensible but with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Okay, who brought the pervert?" Faye asked, dusting her hands off.
"Hey, take it easy, Faye. That guy's a 60 billion bounty." Jet said, righting the chair. Vash's head lolled around limply.
"Are you serious?" Faye asked, astounded. Then she squealed. "That's a lot! That would take care of all of my debts! I'd be free at last!"
"Yeah, yeah." Jet said. "C'mon, let's get this guy to the station."
"Finally we can get rid of these weirdoes." Spike said.
"Weirdoes! Wierdos!!" Ed shouted, crawling off.
The whole party moved out, Vash kept under close watch by Spike. As they walked through the streets, Nicholas and Vash oohed and ahhed at the buildings and cars. Vash kept running from one side of the street to another to see things as they passed, and as a result Spike, who was holding the end of the rope, was yanked this way and that. By the time they reached the station, Spike was in a very bad mood.
"I just wanna get rid of this guy. He's caused me enough trouble to last me the rest of my life. If it weren't for the bounty I swear I'd dump him in hyperspace." Spike grumbled, hunching his shoulders.
"Well, here we are." Jet said as they approached the station. They walked up the front steps and into the front office. There was a female police officer sitting behind a desk looking bored.
"Hi there," Jet said good-naturedly. "We're here to collect a bounty."
Spike placed the ragged 'wanted' poster on the counter and then shoved Vash to the front.
"Um, hi." Vash said, grinning stupidly.
The officer looked from the poster to Vash a few times.
"Yeah, that's the guy alright. But I don't remember the bounty. I've never heard of him before." The officer scratched her head.
"Can you just look it up and see?" Jet asked.
The officer turned to her computer and started typing.
"Where did you pick this guy up?" She asked.
Spike pointed the mystery planet out on a star map.
"Oh yeah." The officer said, "They just sent an expedition party there. They found out that it was inhabited. Who woulda guessed? Anyway, apparently the people there call it 'Gunsmoke'. It's pretty shabby from what I hear."
"Well, it's really not that bad once you get used to the heat." Vash said.
Spike rolled his eyes. "C'mon, lady. The bounty, please?"
The officer returned to the computer.
"Oh, sure. The only thing is that of course they don't use woolongs on Gunsmoke. They use double dollars. I just have to make the conversion."
"Conversion? Wait, whaddya mean, conversion?" Jet asked dubiously.
"The conversion of the 60 billion double dollars into woolongs, of course."
The bounty hunters all shared a worried look.
"Okay. Well what's the conversion rate?" Jet asked reasonably.
The officer typed a bit more, then stated:
"It's been set at 50,000,000 to 1."
There was a moment of silence.
"Woolongs to double dollars?" Faye asked hopefully.
"No. That's double dollars to woolongs." The officer replied flatly. "Gunsmoke has practically no economic value, which is reflected in the value of its currency."
There was a LONG moment of silence.
"So, exactly how much does it work out to be?" Jet asked slowly.
The officer typed a bit more, and a money card was produced. She handed it to Spike over the counter. The bounty hunters all leaned in to see what the red number was that the card stated.
* * * *
There was a cloud of dust when Vash plopped to the sandy ground of planet Gunsmoke face first. A moment later there was another puff as Wolfwood hit the ground next to him. They both rolled over to see Spike standing above them in the Swordfish's open cockpit. They could hear him yelling at the top of his lungs, as he had ever since they had left the station on Ganymede.
"I don't EVER want to see EITHER of you again. ESPECIALLY YOU!!!" He jabbed a finger in Vash's direction. "I can't BELIEVE that I went through all that DAMN trouble for ONE-HUNDRED-and-TWENTY LOUSY WOOLONGS!!!" He threw up his hands and then pounded them on the control board. "They didn't even want to KEEP him!! Said they didn't want their cells taken up with SMALL FRY! So I have to take him BACK!! JEEZ! 120 woolongs doesn't even pay for the damn GAS it took to get BACK HERE!!"
Vash and Wolfwood could hear him yelling even after the cockpit had closed and the engines had started. Only when the Swordfish had taken off and was disappearing into the sky did Spike's ranting fade.
They were left lying in the dust. For a moment they just stared up at the blue sky and twin suns.
"Man, that was crazy." Nicholas said.
"Yeah. I never thought I'd get back up into space." Vash said. "Those guys, they weren't so bad. I feel bad that I gave 'em such a hard time."
"Nah, don't worry about it." Wolfwood said, sitting up. "From the way it looked, it seemed like they were used to disappointment."
Vash laughed.
As Nicholas moved to stand, he heard something clink in his pocket.
"Hm? What's this?" He wondered. He put his hand in his pocket and withdrew two strange coins. The coins that the girl Ed had given him on the Beebop so she could confess to eating the pickles.
Two woolongs.
"Hey, Vash. What did that lady say that the conversion rate between double dollars and woolongs was?"
"Hm?" Vash said, staring off into space. "Oh, it was 50 million to 1."
Nicholas rolled the two coins around in his hand.
"So, that means that one woolong is worth 50 million double dollars?" Nicholas asked off-handedly.
"Uh, yeah. That's right."
Nicholas smiled and pulled Vash to his feet.
"Hey, buddy. How about to make up for all the trouble I caused, we go into town and I buy you some drinks?"
THE END!!!!!
Chapter 7
The two Gunsmoke abductees were gazing open-mouthed from the boarding ramp of the Beebop. Nicholas wandered around a bit and Vash would have followed, had it not been that he was securely tied to a chair that Spike had placed on the ramp so Vash could take his first look at Ganymede without any chance of escape.
"Aw, c'mon! Lemme go!" Vash complained, wiggling one way then another. "I wanna see the space town! Can't I? Plus, I'm hungry. Do they have doughnuts?"
"Mmm. Space doughnuts from space town!" Ed squealed.
"Settle down!" Jet ordered. "We have to wait until Faye gets here."
"Who?" Vash asked.
"The other member of our crew." Jet explained.
"Whatever." Spike snorted, "I never said she could join."
"Well, if we have to wait, can't I at least get some food? I'm starving! Near death experiences do that to me!" Vash whined.
"You aren't going anywhere." Spike said with a surly growl. "You're too slippery. I haven't forgotten back at the bar."
Vash grinned sheepishly. "Hey, now. That wasn't personal or anything. Self preservation. Remember?"
Spike just glared at him. "You made me look like an idiot."
"Aw, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
"Actually," Nicholas interjected, "it was. You shoulda seen your face, Spike. It was hilarious."
"Yeah," Spike said, biting through his cigarette, "hilarious."
"Wolfwood, shut up will you?" Vash hissed. "What is it with you? I though you were on MY side."
Nicholas struck a noble pose, "I am a man of the church. I abstain from taking sides in any dispute. It is only in that way I can see the truth."
"Yeah," Vash grumbled, "man of the church my a-"
He was cut off by the small ship that approached them at reckless speed and landed with a crash.
"Finally," Jet said. "Took her long enough."
The hopper's engines cut and the hatch opened. The tall, green-eyed, scantily-clad Faye jumped to the ground, a snarl on her face.
"Hey, Faye," Jet called, "what happened to your bounty?"
Faye marched right up to Jet's face and pointed an aggressive finger in his face.
"Listen up, Jet, it's not my fault, okay? You left me to chase that guy all by myself. I called for backup and no one showed."
Jet put his hands up defensively. "Hey, wait a minute, Faye, I remember exactly what you said. You told me 'shove off, old man, I can take this one myself and don't expect me to split the cash with you'."
"Well you weren't supposed to LEAVE!" Faye stopped when she felt something bump into her. She looked down at Vash, who had hopped his chair over to her side. He gazed up at her with his blue eyes sparkling.
"My, if I had known that such a beautiful and wonderful lady such as you awaited me, I would have immediately bid Spike lead me to your side -"
WHACK!!
Faye deftly smacked Vash upside the head. His chair fell over and he landed sideways on the cold concrete, insensible but with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Okay, who brought the pervert?" Faye asked, dusting her hands off.
"Hey, take it easy, Faye. That guy's a 60 billion bounty." Jet said, righting the chair. Vash's head lolled around limply.
"Are you serious?" Faye asked, astounded. Then she squealed. "That's a lot! That would take care of all of my debts! I'd be free at last!"
"Yeah, yeah." Jet said. "C'mon, let's get this guy to the station."
"Finally we can get rid of these weirdoes." Spike said.
"Weirdoes! Wierdos!!" Ed shouted, crawling off.
The whole party moved out, Vash kept under close watch by Spike. As they walked through the streets, Nicholas and Vash oohed and ahhed at the buildings and cars. Vash kept running from one side of the street to another to see things as they passed, and as a result Spike, who was holding the end of the rope, was yanked this way and that. By the time they reached the station, Spike was in a very bad mood.
"I just wanna get rid of this guy. He's caused me enough trouble to last me the rest of my life. If it weren't for the bounty I swear I'd dump him in hyperspace." Spike grumbled, hunching his shoulders.
"Well, here we are." Jet said as they approached the station. They walked up the front steps and into the front office. There was a female police officer sitting behind a desk looking bored.
"Hi there," Jet said good-naturedly. "We're here to collect a bounty."
Spike placed the ragged 'wanted' poster on the counter and then shoved Vash to the front.
"Um, hi." Vash said, grinning stupidly.
The officer looked from the poster to Vash a few times.
"Yeah, that's the guy alright. But I don't remember the bounty. I've never heard of him before." The officer scratched her head.
"Can you just look it up and see?" Jet asked.
The officer turned to her computer and started typing.
"Where did you pick this guy up?" She asked.
Spike pointed the mystery planet out on a star map.
"Oh yeah." The officer said, "They just sent an expedition party there. They found out that it was inhabited. Who woulda guessed? Anyway, apparently the people there call it 'Gunsmoke'. It's pretty shabby from what I hear."
"Well, it's really not that bad once you get used to the heat." Vash said.
Spike rolled his eyes. "C'mon, lady. The bounty, please?"
The officer returned to the computer.
"Oh, sure. The only thing is that of course they don't use woolongs on Gunsmoke. They use double dollars. I just have to make the conversion."
"Conversion? Wait, whaddya mean, conversion?" Jet asked dubiously.
"The conversion of the 60 billion double dollars into woolongs, of course."
The bounty hunters all shared a worried look.
"Okay. Well what's the conversion rate?" Jet asked reasonably.
The officer typed a bit more, then stated:
"It's been set at 50,000,000 to 1."
There was a moment of silence.
"Woolongs to double dollars?" Faye asked hopefully.
"No. That's double dollars to woolongs." The officer replied flatly. "Gunsmoke has practically no economic value, which is reflected in the value of its currency."
There was a LONG moment of silence.
"So, exactly how much does it work out to be?" Jet asked slowly.
The officer typed a bit more, and a money card was produced. She handed it to Spike over the counter. The bounty hunters all leaned in to see what the red number was that the card stated.
* * * *
There was a cloud of dust when Vash plopped to the sandy ground of planet Gunsmoke face first. A moment later there was another puff as Wolfwood hit the ground next to him. They both rolled over to see Spike standing above them in the Swordfish's open cockpit. They could hear him yelling at the top of his lungs, as he had ever since they had left the station on Ganymede.
"I don't EVER want to see EITHER of you again. ESPECIALLY YOU!!!" He jabbed a finger in Vash's direction. "I can't BELIEVE that I went through all that DAMN trouble for ONE-HUNDRED-and-TWENTY LOUSY WOOLONGS!!!" He threw up his hands and then pounded them on the control board. "They didn't even want to KEEP him!! Said they didn't want their cells taken up with SMALL FRY! So I have to take him BACK!! JEEZ! 120 woolongs doesn't even pay for the damn GAS it took to get BACK HERE!!"
Vash and Wolfwood could hear him yelling even after the cockpit had closed and the engines had started. Only when the Swordfish had taken off and was disappearing into the sky did Spike's ranting fade.
They were left lying in the dust. For a moment they just stared up at the blue sky and twin suns.
"Man, that was crazy." Nicholas said.
"Yeah. I never thought I'd get back up into space." Vash said. "Those guys, they weren't so bad. I feel bad that I gave 'em such a hard time."
"Nah, don't worry about it." Wolfwood said, sitting up. "From the way it looked, it seemed like they were used to disappointment."
Vash laughed.
As Nicholas moved to stand, he heard something clink in his pocket.
"Hm? What's this?" He wondered. He put his hand in his pocket and withdrew two strange coins. The coins that the girl Ed had given him on the Beebop so she could confess to eating the pickles.
Two woolongs.
"Hey, Vash. What did that lady say that the conversion rate between double dollars and woolongs was?"
"Hm?" Vash said, staring off into space. "Oh, it was 50 million to 1."
Nicholas rolled the two coins around in his hand.
"So, that means that one woolong is worth 50 million double dollars?" Nicholas asked off-handedly.
"Uh, yeah. That's right."
Nicholas smiled and pulled Vash to his feet.
"Hey, buddy. How about to make up for all the trouble I caused, we go into town and I buy you some drinks?"
THE END!!!!!