A/N Welcome to my third and newest yu-gi-oh fan fiction as of November. 21st. Just a warning for younger writers, this story is rated R for a reason, not because I'm scared it will get taken off the site if it's rated any lower, but because it needs to be rated R. There is a lot of talk about drugs, alcohol, and sex. The content of this story (in my opinion) is probably at the very least for NO ONE younger than 14. If you feel it won't bother you than, be all means, read it, but if you think it will be to 'descriptive' for your taste then stop now because I don't want you to go whining to the big people. This is you're warning. Now then, if you are going to continue reading this, let me know through a review what you think. And I'm sorry if I didn't write the getting high part perfectly, what can I say, I've never done it. Anyway, This story is written by me, and edited by Senna (phoenix firerose). She helped me write a few parts because I'm slightly more innocent than this story. Righto, enjoy!

Update- September 3rd 2004 I've come to the conclusion that this story has gone quite a bit further into descriptions and touchy subjects that I really intended so I'm offering another warning for you. This story includes some very touchy subjects such as smoking, drinking, drugs, abortions, suicide, over doses and rape so should any of these things bother you please return to the story list and pick a different story because this one isn't for you.

Disclaimer: hence the word FAN fiction…

Chapter title- Life

Akeru

Shogai

Drugs are my life. Nicotine is my best friend, alcohol is like my brother. That's how things go in this place. I live in a shit-hole city known as Domino. Everyone drinks, everyone smokes, and everyone does drugs. If you don't, you are what you might call a loser, a freak, a moronic idiot all of those good things. That's not true at all; the people who don't do that crap are the people with brains. The ones who aren't complete morons, total fools, idiots.

I however, didn't know that when my brother got us adopted by some rich bastard after a stupid game of chess. I went willingly, anything to get my sorry ass out of that goddamn orphanage. Now I'm feeling I would have been better off staying there. I wouldn't be the younger brother of the youngest and richest CEO in Japan… but at least I'd probably be sober for more than 48 hours at a time.

That's right, Domino has fucked me right up. It's like I said, drugs are my life. The funny thing about it is that I've gotten smart since I started doing all the shit. I know it's bad now… but I'm not smart enough yet because I don't quit. Why would I? I've got no motivation, no one telling me to, nothing stopping me from doing them. It doesn't help that I have almost an unlimited money supply to buy it all with. No, poor would be better for me. Even in this shit hole town, if I was at least poor I wouldn't be able to buy that crap all the time.

Okay so you get the drift that I'm a fucked up drug smoking moron. But you're probably wondering why am I recording this, right? Because, I don't want anyone else to screw up like me. I've never worked a day in my life, and I probably never will. I'll spend the rest of my life getting kicked out of bars every Friday and Saturday night. And I'll also spend the rest of my life eating out of my brother's hands because I can't finish school due to constantly being high. You've all heard the song… they say something about 'but then I got high?' Well that's my life, I swear to god I am going to do something and then… well then I get high.

Story of my life: drugs, alcohol and a bit of drunken sex now and then. Yah, you heard me, sex. I'm 16 years old and I've already fucked the living brains out of at least 6 girls that I can remember. I'm surprised I'm not half dead now by some stupid STD (sexually transmitted disease). The biggest problem I get by doing that is they come back the next day and expect something serious is going on. More than once (twice actually) I've taken some innocent 15 year old virgin into the room at a party, seduced her, had some of the best sex in the world and then had to tell her the next day I was drunk and every thing I said was a lie.

But I'm not going to lie to you, I don't like it anymore than they do. But I can't help it anymore. I'm addicted, to all of it. The drugs. The alcohol. The sex. Everything. My brother wonders where he went wrong some times. He'd probably kick me out if things hadn't gone just the way they had. Drunk or not I'm still his little brother and I'm all he's got. He can't bring himself to kick me out, sometimes when I'm sober and I can clearly think about it I wish he could. Maybe a couple weeks on the street with no money would dry me out and I could get back up on my feet again.

I'm dreaming in color, it'll never happen, he'd never kick me out and I'll never get dried out. Unless by some miracle I'm sent something worth going through that pain, but it'll never happen. And unfortunately I know that, which is why I'm heading to a party right now. I know I shouldn't, I've got school on Monday, but its Saturday, and it's a tradition.

Speaking of school, I failed that last year. I failed grade 10 because I was much more interested in getting high. I still am, but I put a little more effort into it now. I do have a brain, if I didn't I wouldn't be recording this. If I live long enough to look back at it in ten years then I'll be happy and if I don't, then my brother will find it and at least he'll know I know what I'm doing is wrong and that I do regret it but I can't help it. I argue with him almost everyday, tell him I think it's cool and that I love it, but if you're watching this right now I want you to know I think it's all a load of crap. And if I'm dead, then I'm sorry, but at least know I didn't die incredibly stupid. I'm addicted to drugs and sex just like you're addicted to your god damn work.

But I'm not blaming you big brother, I'm not blaming you for anything, this was all my choice. And I know it's all shit and I'm just making up excuses and I'm sorry if I went out and over dosed and killed myself on you, honest I am.

…………………..

Mokuba jumped out of his red jeep and did what he did every time. First he popped the trunk and disconnected the battery. If he was going to get drunk, the very least he could do for himself was not let himself drive pissed out of his mind. Then he locked the doors and hid the keys in his gas tank. When he came out of that house he would either be sober enough to drive or so drunk he wouldn't remember how to open the car door much less look for the key. That's how it always worked, he made sure. The very first party he had ever gone to that's what he had done. As the parties kept on coming he made sure he always did that. If he was going to be an idiot, the least he could do was be a responsible idiot. He was willing to risk his own life, doing drugs and drinking until he passed out, but he wasn't willing to risk the lives of others by driving drunk and possible killing them as well.

With all that done, Mokuba walked in the front door of a fair sized yellow house. The first room he walked into was the living room. Despite the bottles that already littered that floor he could still tell that that was the living room due to a black, slightly faded and torn couch and a small TV with bent wires sticking out the top. I didn't know they still made these things… Mokuba thought, touching the end of the wire with his index finger and recoiling quickly as a short shock was sent through his finger. He rubbed his index finger with his thumb, it was sticky. Obviously someone, already fully into what was probably a fairly regular drunken state and poured his… Mokuba sniffed his finger, Canadian beer all over the TV.

"HHEEYY!" said a loud thunderous voice from across the room. "Mokuba!"

Mokuba looked up, smirked slightly and walked over to his three friends. He silently noted that Jason, a tall blonde guy, was already blitzed beyond all memory and stoned as well. Brett was well on his way to being totally whacked, Mokuba gritted his teeth slightly as he saw a little dribble of blood running down his arm. He'd been into the heroine already, which was one drug Mokuba didn't do too often. He only did it when he was already too drunk or stoned to know what he was doing. Bryson was still fine though, a little buzzed but that was all.

"You're late," Bryson put on a slightly smirk. "You haven't had a single drink yet have you? It's not too late to go home…"

"I know," Mokuba replied but shook his head. "Was thinking about it, but then I also thought about the fact I haven't gotten in a nice little girls pants in almost a month." They both laughed. Mokuba didn't find it all that funny though. Because it wasn't funny, none of this was. But he laughed along as if he DID think it was funny, it was all part of this fucked up way of life they were living.

"Mokuba you mother fucker are you still sober?" Jason demanded, putting his face rather close to Mokuba's. Mokuba quickly turned his face.

"Oh God Jason, do I smell like that when I'm smashed?" Mokuba asked pushing him away slightly.

"We all smell the same, Mokuba, all the same," Bryson smiled slightly. Mokuba wondered about that one. He could have sworn Bryson was gay… even when he was sober he acted a little too feminine for Mokuba's taste.

"Get this bastard a drink!" Jason shouted to the first person who walked by. People knew Jason, because he was at almost every single party, every single day of the week. He demanded a drink, he got a drink. He was 21 and his liver was already failing him, Mokuba kind of felt sorry for him sometimes. He was with a different girl almost every night, sometimes he was so drunk he even got tricked by them drag queens and took it up the ass a few times. Mokuba promised himself he'd swear off the entire party thing if he ever did that to himself.

Mokuba accepted the beer from the girl who brought it to him. Well, here we go again, he sighed slightly and raised the brown tinted bottle to his lips. 1/4…1/2…3/4… done. It was getting that easy, not a good sign really. But Mokuba was still perfectly fine. It took more than one beer even chugged as fast as that to get him totally blitzed. This time he worked his way to the kitchen and found himself the Tylenol bottle. He grabbed one; that was his limit. It got him going a bit faster but wasn't enough to kill him. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a Kokanee, all beer was crap but of them all this was the best.

"Here we go, I'm coming to see you in Never, Never land," He mumbled, and smiled slightly at his own stupid joke. He popped the Tylenol in his mouth and filled his mouth with beer. He quickly washed the Tylenol down and then chugged the rest. Mokuba quickly walked back out into the party, hoping to find himself one, a chick for the evening, that wasn't too bad before he totally went out of it. Tylenol really could get a guy going.

"There we go…" Bryson said in his slightly faggish tone. "Mokuba has joined the party."

"Oh yah, and am I going to feel this in the morning," Mokuba said, shutting his eyes and shaking his head slightly as the first wave of dizziness came over him. He stumbled back slightly, but to his luck it happened to be into a pretty little blonde who was already partially drunk. Mokuba smirked slightly at his own good fortune and held up his beer bottle. "Cheers," he said quietly in her ear and then smashed his bottle against hers. She immediately knew who he was. That was his standard greeting. He'd done it once by accident and ever since then he did it on purpose. He wasn't nearly as well known as Jason, but people knew him when he did that.

"Well, well, if it isn't Mokuba Kaiba, what are you doing in a slum like this?" she asked, her voice slightly slurred.

"Looking to get laid actually," Mokuba smirked slightly.

"What will I get outta the deal?" she asked stumbling slightly.

"Laid?" Mokuba suggested. The blonde threw her head back and laughed loudly. Mokuba quickly caught her as she nearly fell into their mesh of broken glass, but he too stumbled slightly as the second wave came to roll over him, this one slightly harder. He blinked a few times and then held his eyes shut tightly.

"Oh poor baby, you aren't even drunk yet," she said, running her long finger through his long black hair. "This part sucks hey?"

"Especially when Tylenol is involved," Mokuba mumbled shaking his head one more time.

"You cheat, that's the easy way."

"Yah well, when your liver can withstand as much as mine sometimes you gotta cheat."

The girl just nodded and pointed to the kitchen, "Take me that way, you broke my drink." Mokuba smirked slightly and did as he was told. They worked their way through the crowd that had gotten exceptionally large since they'd first bumped into each other and then stepped into the kitchen. Mokuba gagged slightly as some freaky looking red head threw up in the sink. He quickly dodged a rather tall guy and a girl as they worked their way towards the wall. They were attached at the lips, but the girl was attempting to undo his belt.

They finally reached the sink. Mokuba lifted his new blonde friend easily and set her on the counter. She stared at him with a dumb look, "You ever tried that?"

"Tried what?"

"Sex on a wall," she said, a slightly amused tone.

"Nope, you?"

"I'd like to," she smiled slightly.

Mokuba grinned and handed her a bottle. She unscrewed the top and raised it to her lips. She chugged half of it, Mokuba just watched. Then she stopped and breathed heavily. Mokuba gave a small smirk, and chugged the entire thing. She smiled slightly as he walked towards her, spread her legs slightly and he placed himself in-between them.

"Counters to high, damn eh'?" he smirked. She just smiled. Mokuba moved his face towards her, she tipped her face forwards slightly, pressing her forehead against his and shook her head.

"I'm not that drunk yet, hun."

Mokuba didn't say anything. His hand moved from her knee, up her thigh and slid under her skirt. She quickly removed it, a slightly nervous look on her face. Mokuba looked up, into her green eyes. "Tell me luv, are you a virgin?" Mokuba was almost done. He could feel his brain abandoning him again. Everything from here on in was done entirely by impulse. He examined her face slightly and then laughed as her cocky expression changed to one of fear. "I'll be gentle, I promise." She shook her head and tried to push him away but he quickly pressed his lips against her and dropped his empty bottle. His hands immediately went to her neck so she couldn't pull away. What was left of his brain screamed at him to let go of the struggling virgin, but it was overpowered.

When he finally did pull back he looked into her bright green eyes. They were now puffy and red, her cheeks wet from tears. Mokuba smiled slightly and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "You're lucky," he said placing his hands on her knees. "You got a nice one today. You play guys like that very often and soon enough you'll get raped. Just a warning for ya babe. Next time, they probably won't be as nice."

Mokuba grabbed himself another beer, and drank about half of it. He walked out of the kitchen and slowly felt what was left of his consciousness diminish. He was no longer Mokuba Kaiba, but a drunken bastard like all the rest. That girl had been lucky he hadn't had one more drink or she probably would have been raped.

Mokuba found his friends and threw five dollars at Brett. Brett handed him rolled up little sheet of paper. Mokuba pulled the beer bottle shaped lighter from his pocket and lit his new toy. He breathed deeply, inhaling through his nose. His body immediately became warm, he shuddered happily. A smile spread across his face as every thing became slightly blurry.

He inhaled, drank in the smoke, and felt it move through his mouth and then flow into his lungs. Warmth came from chest, he felt as the chemicals moved out through his limbs like a warm calm wave. Rolling out into his arms, slowly find its way to his fingertips. It was always the same, yet it was always new, just like everything he did now. He went to parties, drank, did drugs and slept with chicks, he did it over and over again, yet it wasn't tiring. Sure it got a little predictable at times but it was all the same fun.

"Bliss isn't it brother," Brett smiled.

"Oh you better believe it," Mokuba laughed slightly. He finished his smoke and then sighed. "Well I'm off to find myself a woman."

And that he did. "Oh, if it isn't Mokuba Kaiba, at it again…" the girl smirked slightly as he placed his large hands on her hips. "I saw you with your little friend earlier…"

"Old friends are best," he said, his voice slightly slurred.

"Oh I dunno Mokuba, being the rich bastard you are I think you can easily go find yourself someone better…"

"Ain't no one better than you Ash… ahalee… Ashlee! I knew it would come."

Ashlee smirked slightly. "Okay, you win, you were good, let's have another go at it, what do you think bud?"

"I always knew I liked you," a dumb look crossed his face as his placed both hands around her backside and squeezed her firm butt. She smiled slightly, kissing him gently on the lips. She took his hand and led him up the short staircase and entered the third room on the left. She gently closed the door behind him and watched as he finished what was left of his drink and collapsed, half asleep on the bed.

"Don't fail me now," She smirked slightly and began to loosen his belt from the position she had taken, straddling his legs. He just lay for a few moments before reaching one hand down and unloosening it easily with one yank. She frowned slightly before sliding her hands up his shirt and then lifting it easily over his head.

"No," he said sharply as she began to pull at his pants. "You first, I wanna see you while I think I should still be able to remember it." Ashlee just nodded and stripped for him and then finally after he stared at her for a few moments with a dumb look on his face he allowed her to pull off his pants. Together they had sex, twice actually, before Mokuba finally lost all consciousness. Ashlee smirked slightly and checked to make sure he was still alive before re-dressing and heading back out into the party. It had died slightly, but everyone was still pretty into it as Mokuba slept, undisturbed by dreams for the rest of the night.

…………………

"Where is that little shit?" Seto Kaiba growled to himself quietly as he drove around in search of his younger brothers red jeep. This was like him, to be gone all night and still be missing at 2 in the afternoon. And despite that fact he was always okay Kaiba almost always went looking for him. It was unfortunate that he had to do it himself. He tried to keep the fact that his younger brother was a drug addict quiet and therefore couldn't send some of his underlings to do it for him.

Should his little brother's little 'outings' go public the Kaiba family would be destroyed. Kaiba corp. would go under within the week and then Mokuba would probably be taken away. He was sixteen yes, that made him legally able to chose where he lived but if he needed rehab then he would be sent there and then a restraining order would be put on Seto, claiming he wasn't able to care for the boy and it was his fault he was what he was now. Despite how Kaiba disapproved of Mokuba's habits, he couldn't bare to part with him. Their conversations usually ended with Mokuba storming out, but he still loved him. They were no longer the great Kaiba brothers of the past but Kaiba wouldn't disown his little brother no matter how hard it got. He could come home drunk every day of the week and Kaiba would always allow him back in the mansion.

Though it was getting harder each time Kaiba had to go looking for him. He was getting more irritable every time he found Mokuba passed out on someone's living room floor, or by his jeep, or in bed with some girl he had probably never met before. Kaiba couldn't see where he got it. He had never done any of those things, so it obviously hadn't been because of Kaiba's influence.

Kaiba had no idea of what Domino was really like for the teenage population. He had spent his entire childhood learning about computers from their evil adopted father. He had never been able to live a normal life, and never had he been able to go to a normal school. Mokuba had wanted too however, once their adopted father had been found plastered to the cement beneath his 5th story window. Kaiba had allowed him, and that's when the problems had began forming. For the first years he still maintained his role as Kaiba's obedient little brother but then things started to change. Just after he entered high school. He had aced his entrance exam and then failed the first grade of High School.

After pulling several strings Kaiba had gotten him to pass into the next grade, but then he had refused and gone back to do all his year ten classes again. Said he didn't want to pass high school because of 'Seto's stupid money' were his exact words actually. Kaiba had agreed after a lengthy discussion with this younger brother. He had been convinced that Mokuba was going to change back, and his grades had indeed gone up… from a 40% to a 80%. Unfortunately Kaiba no longer had any influence over his younger brother. Anything he wanted from him he has to gain by force and Kaiba disliked doing that to his little brother.

"There you are you moron," Kaiba mumbled pulling up behind his brothers red jeep. He quickly locked all his doors and set the alarm, this was a less than friendly neighborhood. He looked up at the two story yellow house in front of him. It was incredibly small and disgustingly filthy. But he entered the house, as he did every time. Kaiba stepped over unconscious bodies, and cringed as he was forced to step in a puddle of beer and glass. Kaiba checked the first floor first, and when Mokuba wasn't there he headed upstairs.

There was no one in the first room, a young girl, probably no older than 13 was crying, naked, on the bed in the second and sure enough Mokuba was sprawled out on the bed in room number three. Kaiba stormed him, slamming the door behind him, which caused his younger brother to stir slightly, but he did not awake. Kaiba contemplated pulling the blanket off him and then decided against it, assuming his brother had no clothes on.

Kaiba reached his hand out to his younger brother, hesitated a moment, not knowing who he had screwed this time, but then continued. He grabbed his shoulder and shook him awake.

Light… so I lived again…

"Mokuba wake up you little shit."

And big brother's back to get me again…

"Open you're eyes you little fucker."

Kaiba shook Mokuba slightly, violent pains shot rapidly through his body. He tried to turn, but found his bottom half was rather sour. I guess I played a little rough last night… Mokuba thought, trying to remember what had happened and who it had been with. Kaiba shook him again and Mokuba groaned. "Oh god," he mumbled. "Just let me die…"

"One of these days I won't be to surprised if you do."

"Thanks for all your support Seto, now piss off, my dick hurts."

"Oh that's sick. Get the fuck outta bed, last thing I need is for the press to find out about this."

"If that's all that matters to you then why don't you just tell them I died falling out a window and forget about me."

"I'd love to little brother, but I can't. Oh god, you are a mess," Kaiba jumped back slightly as Mokuba rolled over and revealed blood on the sheets.

Mokuba groaned slightly and lifted the blankets, examining the situation, "Ashlee you little shit," Mokuba mumbled. "I always knew she bit, but I'm always to pissed by the time she finds me to do much about it.

"Oh god," Kaiba gagged slightly at the thought. He quickly walked over to the door and picked Mokuba's clothes up and threw them at him. "I'll wait outside."

"I could be awhile…" Mokuba mumbled and made a lame attempt to roll on his stomach. The idea was quickly abolished as sharp pains were sent shooting through his thighs. "Oh god…"

Kaiba rolled his eyes and left the room. He quickly exited the house and jumped into his sanitary vehicle, which is where he hid for the next two hours, waiting for Mokuba to regain what was left of his brain cells. Kaiba couldn't help but smirk slightly as he came waddling out of the house.

"Shut the fuck up," Mokuba mumbled as he slowly climbed into the vehicle beside Kaiba.

"I didn't say a word…" Kaiba mumbled driving away as quickly as he could.

A/N Soooo, what do you think? I realize I butchered Mokuba, but I'll put him back together don't worry. I'm not overly sure how long this story is going to be… not to terribly long, but I don't think it will be any less than ten chapters. The chapters in this fic are not as long as my other ones, because with fics like these, you just don't want to drag things out. Anyway… let me know… good, bad, delete, whatever you think. If no one likes it the I highly doubt I'll keep it up. Chapter two is maybe… 35% finished and if I get even one person who likes it, just to let you know the next chapter will be up in two weeks.