A/N: Erm…long time no see? This fic was written as a remembrance for *that day*. This is part 1. Part 2 will be finished in a short time. (Saturday… if you remember what that day is.) This is pretty random in my opinion. Just read on if you're in the mood.

Disclaimer: CLAMP.

~*~ Illusions ~*~

Part 1: Love Does Not Make Sense.

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Who is it that you're looking for?

No one?

Good, so I can come to you…

The boy has come again. I have always known that he would come back, no matter what happens. Seishirou knows that, too. But he never talks about it. I understand my Seishirou so well. He has been so close to me… but maybe he has become even closer to that Sumeragi boy of his now… Not that I am jealous… Just… there are something he never knows…

"What do you really want, Subaru-kun?"

He looks up from the blood. Damn those sunglasses. I have always wanted him to get rid of them, but he never listens to me about this. However, though I can't see his eyes, I can still read his soul… and I know…

He is curious, truly curious. Sometimes a human's need can be so confusing and complicated. He can never understand… but no one can ever truly understand a human anyway. No creature can ever be fully understood.

"I want…"

What does that Subaru boy want anyway? He is not even sure himself. He surely does not want to kill the man who is standing in front of him. But he wants to get his revenge. He wants to end it all. He wants to be held in those arms just one more time. He wants to destroy it all. He wanted to be gazed at by those eyes forever. He wants everything to fade into nothingness. He wants…

"Love."

"Do you know what love is?"

Does he know what love is? What is love anyway? What can define 'love'? Subaru knows attraction, he knows happiness, he knows jealousy, he knows sadness, he knows hatred, he knows many things… but does he know love?

Love is when you can sacrifice yourself for your special one.

Love is when you look into their eyes and know that they are also looking into your soul.

Love is when you feel your heart beating the same beat with that person's.

Love is when you try by all means to make that one look at you…

Love is many things. But love can also be nothing. All those definitions can be right. But they can also be all wrong. Never argue, because you don't know everyone's love. You may know yours, but you cannot see other people's hearts. So…

"Yes, I do."

He feels the hatred, the sadness, the anger, the love inside him for that man. To other people, it may not be love. But to him, it is.

"But I don't love, Subaru-kun."

What a foolish excuse. Seishirou knows that so well, but what else can he say? He himself even does not understand why he doesn't love. It is something that's so obvious to him, something that he has never bothered to ask.

"No, the Sakurzukamori does not love. But you do."

The Sumeragi boy has always wanted to believe that. He has always hoped that it is true…

"Who am I to you?"

You are my enemy, my nemesis, my opposite. You are my darkness. You are also my special one, my only love. You are the world to me. You are everything to me.

 "You are Sakurazuka Seishirou to me."

"Who is he?"

Does Seishirou know who himself is? He is curious to see himself.

"The man I love."

As simple as that, ne? But it means everything for both of them. That is the only answer they need. Only that is enough. Do I even make sense anymore? It's all right, because people who love never make sense. Love is blind. Lovers only feel themselves.

With the eyes closed the mind has a perfect view…

It's… just… we two…

"Love…"

My Seishirou smiles slightly, looking at the blossoming sakura. This greatest beauty is his illusion. He can create everything by his illusions.

"Love is just an illusion to me, Subaru-kun. Feelings and emotions are illusions. You can create them. They can be whatever you want them to be. Just illusions… Are you sure that your feelings for me are not your own illusion?"

Seishirou cannot know, because he has never loved… yet. But Subaru does know that even if love is just an illusion…

"Then I want to escape reality. I am willing to live in an illusion."

"Is it worth it?"

When you love, you can even believe an illusion. Love is worth everything.

Do you believe that feelings are just our own illusions?

Did that make any sense? Trust me, people who are in love never make sense.

Everything after that comes in a blur to me… I remember they keep talking some more… and then the boy leaves… Nothing special… yet. This is still not the time. But not for long, that time will come… The last biggest illusion…

"Sakura-san."

Oh yeah, he is calling me. What is it this time? He must have been aware that I've been overhearing his conversation. He never minds that anyway.

"What is it that has been making you feel different lately?"

So he does realize that.

//Five more days, my Seishirou.//

"Five more days? What will happen in five more days?"

You would be really surprised that I remember… wouldn't you, my Seishirou? Do you know that the time is coming? The time for your biggest illusion… if you believe that feelings are just illusions, my Seishirou…

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A/N: Yes, people who are in love never make sense…