HELLO Readers of It is I…Total Vaughn Lover! Yes, after one year of not knowing whether I wanted to continue to write because of my hectic job, I have come around to do what I do best, which is write for you guys! Thanks for waiting so loooong! And thanks for the reviews guys, this is what keeps me going. I know that we are almost at the end of season 5 for the actual t.v. Show, but this fic is just getting started and it is just about to get totally S/V!

So without further ado….

For Better or Worse…Till the NSC do us part

Total Vaughn Lover

"Taking Action and getting too Close"

"V…Vaughn," Sydney repeated, pulling the covers up to her chest to cover her loose tank top. "I don't understand, what's going on? What are you doing here?"

"H…how much do you remember about tonight?" Vaughn inquired gently. Sydney gazed down to the ground, and Vaughn noticed it was because of confusion.

"Maybe a better question would be, what is the last thing you remember that happened tonight?"

Michael sat there patiently, waiting for Sydney to provide him with an answer. She had closed her eyes in thought and Vaughn knew she was trying to call back the events leading up to now, not only for her partner but for the sake of her own knowledge.

"I…I guess the last place I remember being is in some kind of brush," she reported with her eyes still shut. "I think you were with me and then I threw something, probably some kind of explosive and then I pulled you away with me. I guess we were running away from something or somebody. Then there was a loud…"

Michael raised his head when he heard her voice crack. Sydney's brow was creased in what seemed to be pain and then a low sob erupted from her throat.

Vaughn gently took hold of her hands and massaged them, trying to soothe the trembling and curb the sudden bout of fear that had overcome his partner's body. Sydney jerked back at first, but Vaughn's insistent warm palms kneading her own shaking ones convinced her not to move from her spot.

"Okay Syd, it seems that you've retained a lot of it. That's good. And don't worry, I don't think the it'll alarm the doctors that you can't recall anything after the explosive went off," Vaughn assured her then added, "you went into some kind of emotional breakdown, that was followed by a brief episode of shock. In a few hours, you should be able to recall things more clearly."

Sydney nodded in reply. Her breathing also resumed a normal safe temp and a small but content smile tugged at her lips. But when she opened her eyes and saw Vaughn's brilliant green irises staring at her so intently, she suddenly felt very uncomfortable. And she made sure Vaughn knew that by jerking back.

Michael felt a bit rejected but shrugged it off with one of his attractive frowns. "Hey Syd, I'm only here on orders and they locked us in together so…you better get used to it."

"And where are we?" she demanded. "Are we at a safe house? Have we been caught?" After uttering the last word, Sydney went into survival mode. She reached over to her bag that she found was on the floor beside her bed and began rummaging through it.

"Sydney, what are you doing?" he rasped, glancing quickly at the door. Sydney retrieved a GPS-run cell phone and immediately began dialing the number to the main office. Michael's senses reverted back to her at the sound of the beeping and alarm covered his expression when he realized what Sydney was doing. He swiftly pulled the cell phone from her hand, turned the power off and shoved it into the outside pocket of his suitcase.

"VAUGHN! What did you do that for?" Sydney whispered angrily, smacking Vaughn on the back. "I was trying to get a call into Dixon."

"I know but you can't do that here. We're in a facility where one cell phone call can throw off everything from satellite feed to this building's network connection to HQ," he hissed as he turned around and pushed her down against the bed.

"Well I wouldn't be calling Dixon if you would stop playing games and just tell me where we are. Why don't you start spouting the facts like you did when you came to pick me up in Hong Kong!"

Vaughn knew she was saying this out of anger and felt terrible. But this was no time for formalities. Had he let that call go through, it could have caused a leak of information to somebody who may be trying to get into their network. That meant they would become more powerful and more and likely, the agency would pay the cost with the lives of agents, like his father.

"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have taken it away from you like that but I had no choice. We're in a Russian hospital about twenty miles away from the Music Hall, but this actually the CIA's field offices in Russia. The hospital thing is just a clever cover up. That's why I couldn't let you dial out."

"Oh."

Vaughn smiled down at Sydney who was looking to the side in embarrassment. "It's okay, Syd. You didn't know. Not a lot of people do."

"You did," she pointed out.

"Well, that's because…"

Sydney raised her eyebrow at him, curious.

Vaughn sighed and began reluctantly to tell his story. "Back when I was first field-rated, my first biggest assignment was to come to Moscow and bring into custody one of the members of this group called "The Salvaged." It was basically the Covenant at the time. Anyway…" He paused to think about how he was going to continue it without ridiculing himself too much. "…there was a shooting and I fell against the ground and well…my butt was throbbing lie crazy. So my senior office assumed that I'd gotten shot and sent me to the nearest hospital which would be here." Vaughn stopped again and Sydney immediately gave him an intimidating stare. "You know what, let's change the subject right now while I still have some dignity." He cleared his throat. "You know, Belzarin's surgery has been going on for a while now. You'd think they'd be done by now."

But Sydney wasn't about to let him get off so easily. Had he not mentioned that this story would make him lose his dignity, she wouldn't have cared much, but since he had, she was interested. "Now wait a second, Vaughn. What happened when you go to the hospital? Bullet wound stories aren't usually embarrassing."

"Sydney, I really should be talking about things you need to know so let's just forget about that and…move on, okay?"

Wrong answer.

Sydney's hand shot up to grab Michael's neck and the next thing he knew was that he was the one lying down on the bed, and Sydney was on top of him, her knee positioned on his throat. "Wrong answer, Vaughn. If you expect me to listen to another word that you say, you're going to finish what you started."

"Well, I don't have much of choice in this position, do I?" he chuckled. "Okay…I'll tell you but you're going to have to let me up. I can barely croak with your knee where it is."

Sydney studied Vaughn for a moment then let him go after she remembered they were practically in the same uncomfortable situation as when they'd been quarantined after the agency were led to believe the two of them had contracted some deadly disease from the location of their last mission.

Michael coughed as he massaged his throat. "Okay, so the doc examines me and it's not a bullet that I have but this huge festering boil instead. And then…I made my position even more humiliating by making a big scene about not wanting it drained."

He directed his gaze at the bed before he could see Sydney and her laughing expression. Michael shook his head. He knew she wasn't going to let him live this down.

"V…Vaughn, you've got to be joking. How old were you?"

"Hey, it was hurting bad enough when he was examining it. I wasn't about to let him take a scalpel to it. I mean they came straight out and told me they'd numb it but to expect to feel some of it," he retorted in a defiant tone, as though he believed he'd given her a good reason for his childish actions.

Sydney became silent to Vaughn's relief but when he looked up at her, he realized to his dismay that it was because she was laughing so hard.

Vaughn frowned. He liked to be Sydney's slapstick but this was ridiculous. He was never going to use any stories about himself to improve Sydney's mood, he would use Weiss. "Okay Sydney, settle down, especially if you're looking to get some sleep tonight. As your senior officer, I have to debrief you before I let you off the hook and let you get some shut eye."

Sydney covered her mouth to try and suppress her giggles. But having images of Michael arguing with his superior officer about pulling down his pants, and getting back on the table didn't help matters any.

"Okay, right. Now where was I?" Vaughn pondered aloud, trying not to be distracted by the elegant curvatures of her face of the pain that had suddenly surfaced in her delicate eyes. Then he remembered he'd been talking about the President of the CORNU. "Okay Syd, regarding the issue with the Russian President, the extraction was, I'm pleased to announce, successful. He's still in surgery. Last time I was in the JTF, I saw the coverage of the surgery playing on only every free t.v set down there," Vaughn groaned, putting a hand to his knees to stabilize them as the disgusting images of the doctor's performing the procedure rose to the top of his mind. "They've progressed quickly. The last I checked, they were cleaning out the area to put in the earpiece. It's expected to take a few more hours but after that the doctors assure us that he should have a speedy recover without hindrance. They'll keep him overnight to observe for complications but Agent Wright informed me even the doctors are surprised at how great his health is for that age."

"Well that's good news…for Belzarin and Russia," Sydney agreed as she pulled her knees closer to her chest. "What's next for us?"

"We are to stay put for tonight," Vaughn informed her, gesturing to the obvious sleeping quarters. "I've already contacted Dixon and his orders were that we take tonight to recuperate. My orders have been to watch over you and make sure that you haven't suffered any trauma. And he probably wanted me to get my rest so that I'm fresh-minded and ready to go again tomorrow."

Sydney stared curiously at Vaughn, who's face had become hard and more tired looking. "And what is going on tomorrow?" Sydney asked quietly, staring down at the white linen sheets.

"A lot," Vaughn huffed, stretching into the air, forcing his shirt up to expose about two inches of his toned abdomen. "Well at least I have a lot to do. I've got to interrogate the guards, have a talk with you assassin before they torture him and then afterwards. I also have to go visit Belzarin and make sure our stories are straight and then I've got to make sure our prisoners are ready for transport tomorrow evening," he ticked off on his fingers. "The extraction helicopter is scheduled to arrive tomorrow evening at 1900 hours. And then of course when I get on mainland, I have to write a report on all this. You can probably tell I'm not looking forward to that."

"I noticed," she said dryly as she gathered some of the sheet and squeezed it in the palm of her hand. " And did Agent Dixon happen to outline for you what I'm supposed to be doing through all this, or am I just supposed to accompany you?"

Vaughn actually smiled as he gave his reply. "No, actually you've been excused from all mission-related activities which means you can really just hang out in here, catch up on some of the sleep you've been deprived of. I'll be happy to check on you periodically, make sure you get something to eat and then I can pick you up when the extraction team arrives."

He was a bit taken aback when he saw Sydney's expression fall. "Why don't I get to interrogate the guards?" she demanded, detecting this was all due to Dixon and Vaughn feeling pity for her. She hated that.

Michael laughed, trying to break the tension in the room. "Sydney, don't look so bummed out. Dixon is giving you an extra day of sick leave and that is generous of him, especially in the middle of a mission. I'd stop pouting and take full advantage of that."

But Sydney wasn't biting and Vaughn knew it. She wasn't arguing about the offer to let her rest, which she undoubtedly needed. She just suspected as he did, that Dixon was trying to keep her away from finding out anything regarding the guards, especially if they were tied to the group who were responsible for Sydney's disappearance, the Covenant. "You didn't answer my question, Agent Vaughn. I'm willing to do this, with my free time. Am I banned from coming with you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Vaughn winced. He knew Sydney wasn't going to like his answer. He tried to think of how he would feel if he were in Sydney's shoes. What would he want Sydney to say to him? He didn't want her to lie to him so he certainly wasn't going to do that to her.

Sydney deserved a straight answer. Someone had to believe she was sane enough and he was going to be that man.

"V...Vaughn?"

Michael looked at Sydney then lowered his gaze to the ground, clasping his hands together. He didn't need to look at Sydney to know she was expecting him to say what she didn't want to hear. "Syd, the reason why Dixon doesn't want you to come with me is because you were almost killed by that guard tonight, you may not feel it now but it's possible you suffered some trauma from that incident.. That's why Dixon tasked me to watch over you, make sure someone is here to comfort you if you wake up from a nightmare and need comforting," Michael advised her, "and the other reason is pretty obvious. If these guards are connected to the Covenant, then they are related with the group that abducted you. Dixon, I and Barnett don't feel it's a good idea for you to be a part of the interrogation process while you're still working out your animosity against them and stuff."

Sydney looked for a second as though she was going to stand her ground and state that she was going to defy those orders and he was going to have to deal with it but she didn't. To Vaughn's relief, a look of understanding overcame her calmer features. "T…that's true. Given the chance, I probably would get pretty close to killing them during the interrogation."

Vaughn nodded in agreement. Yes, the conversation was finally travelling in the right direction. Sydney was taking this a lot better than he'd thought.

But then Sydney pushed him down against the bed again and gave him a very condescending look. "But the thing is I should want to kill them. I should be allowed to tear them to shreds. It would be insane if I wanted to just put this all behind me, don't you agree, Vaughn?"

"Yeah," Vaughn croaked out. "I do see your point."

Sydney's face was contorted with anger for another moment. It wasn't until he actually started turning purple and grabbed at her wrists tightly that she noticed she was hindering his breathing again.

"O…Oh sorry, Vaughn."

"It's okay," he assured her between a bout of coughs. "I know you ought to feel that way. I think we both forgot that you have a really tight grip."

Sydney reached behind her to smack Vaughn on the shoulder. "Hey, you said you're here to watch over me. Shouldn't you be saying things to make me feel better?"

"You just deprived me of oxygen, you're going to listen to my complaints for about the next ten minutes," he told her with a smirk. But then his smile disappeared as he came back to the business at hand. "So, can I report to our Director that you will agree to stay in here and take a quiet little hiatus from this mess?"

"Hospitalization is more like it but yes. If that'll make you happy, I will let you tell the Director that your sane but tired partner will stay out of sight tomorrow," Sydney promised with a small smile.

"Thanks Syd," he thanked warmly. Sydney felt good whenever Vaughn looked at her in that appreciative way but something about his eyes made her blood run cold. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like what he was going to ask next.

And she didn't

"So, one last thing before we can both turn in for the night. I have to ask you this purely for professional purposes, and also since I think I should know in case my wife goes to Lynsey with her theory on how I am affiliated with this whole thing," he began, cringing on the word, "wife."

"What do you want to know?" she asked quietly as she played with the hem of her shirt.

"Um…first of all, I want you to know that I would never believe that you are part of the Covenant."

"Of course."

"Good…" Vaughn paused. "So here goes, you know how you said that you got attacked by the guard that initially guided you to the bathroom."

Sydney nodded.

"Did he recognize you? I mean….did he call you…Julia?" Vaughn demanded. He certainly hadn't meant to but after hearing himself talk, he realized he had come off very condescending.

"Um… yeah…he did," Sydney answered with a groan. "He told me he was there when I killed Lazarey and…and that you were there as well. But the way he was talking, I don't think he's Covenant. If he's working for them, it's because they got him to without telling him who they are."

"Or maybe the Covenant are still keeping track of you. It's possible that your getting away and to a pay phone so you can contact us was a mistake. If you want to hear my thoughts on this I think they assumed you were dead and it's probably as much of a shock to them as it is to us that you resurfaced. I think they're keeping tabs on you, trying to make sure that you don't remember anything about what they had you do the last two years or…make sure they get that information first," Vaughn suggested, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"And this time it was an assassination attempt. They didn't want to recruit me back into the Covenant, they wanted me dead!" Sydney cut in angrily, her brown eyes wide with fear. "I can't believe there's something so valuable to them in my head that they're not going to leave me alone until I'm dead…which means…"

"Which means what?" Vaughn inquired gently, but his voice sounded curt from his fear for her.

"That everyone around me is in danger." She heaved a heavy sigh. "I think it'll be best if you stay away from me," she concluded, a touch of finality in her voice.

"WHAT? Wait a minute, don't I get a say in this?" he demanded, feeling like he'd just gotten slapped in the face.

"No, you don't. Don't you get it, if you're around me …Vaughn, we don't know how crazy these people are of how they work. What if they're like SD-6? What if they go after everyone I care about? They already went after…F…Francie."

Vaughn heard her stop sharply and realized though she'd said everyone, she was really concerned about him…Michael Vaughn.

"Syd…let's not get ahead of ourselves. I didn't mean to get you all upset," he lamented, gently rubbing her bare shoulder. "Let's talk about this before you start making any hurtful decisions that you may not have to make."

"Michael," she argued, looking into his verdant eyes, as though he were the center of her world. "I just got you back. I thank God everyday just being able to see your face again. I'm not to be able to live with myself if I let something happen to you."

Michael's heart felt very cozy at that moment, as though he were sitting next to a warm fire in a wooden cottage somewhere. But right now, he'd share an igloo in Antarctica if that meant he could be near Syd.

"I appreciate the thought, Syd. Really. But you can't expect me to leave your side when you need me most. That's not something I'm going to agree with," Vaughn stated firmly, daring her to argue with him. Nothing she said was going to change his mind.

Sydney stared at him, shocked by his tone. She might have even socked him in the face if she had the strength. "No Vaughn, I'm not the one who needs you anymore. It's Lauren. I left you and now I have to …suffer the consequences. But don't worry about me, I'm a big girl and a kick ass agent."

"Sydney," he bellowed, hands on his head, ready to pull his hair out. Her moping and feeling sorry for herself was driving her up the wall. "Shut up for a second. You didn't leave me, you were kidnapped."

"I know and right now I still wish I were, Vaughn. Why don't you understand? If you're around me, you're going to get yourself killed and I…I just can't handle that kind of pressure while I try to figure out what I don't remember," she shot back, tears now tumbling down her cheeks. Then finally she completely broke down and her body felt towards Vaughn's chest. Vaughn stared down at the crying young woman and cautiously laid a hand on her trembling back. He felt her chew on his t-shirt and for a moment, he ignored the pain from her lower abdomen colliding with his lower half.

"Sshhh," He cooed as he gently coaxed her head up and nuzzled the top of it with his cheek. "You shouldn't work yourself up like this. Yes, you were kidnapped and I thought you were dead. But we've gotten through that, and I don't know about you but I feel I can get you through anything if you'll only trust me and let me help you through this." Sydney shifted on his chest to hear him better as Michael plodded on. "I mean, this evening, we had the basic information down about our mission but the night was full of surprises, yet we're here right now."

"Even as badly as we screwed up," she murmured against his chest.

"We didn't have our shit together at all," Vaughn agreed. "Seriously, with your falling to the ground in pain and expecting me to react, and then you cry out that your stomach is about to burst. We could have blown our cover right there."

"Yeah…hadn't it been for your genius adlib of claiming I was a hypochondriac, we would have been in trouble, and not only with the Russians," Sydney giggled as she wiped away her tears. Vaughn slid his finger under her chin and lifted it up.

"Exactly. See? We make such a good team," Vaughn argued gently. "It would be a waste for us to split now when we could work together to get to the bottom of all this."

Sydney knew he meant well and it wasn't just as a former boyfriend or a handler, he'd meant it was as a best friend. He'd always been the one constant in her life, to let him go was unthinkable.

"W…well, I'm not going to make any decisions until I get back on mainland," Sydney informed him. "So, you interrogate and I sit here and dream of when things were a little simpler?"

"That's the plan."

Sydney felt Vaughn move closer to her. A strong shiver overcame all the bones in her body and she felt herself getting uncomfortable again. "Um, so I guess we should get some sleep then? If you're done, I mean."

But the comment she'd made to break this romantic spell didn't do what she'd expected it to. Vaughn didn't avert his gaze in embarrassment. Instead he pointed out something that could only raise the sexual awareness in the room.

"You know what this situation reminds me of?"

Sydney bit her lip, deciding whether to acknowledge him or not. Either way, he was going to way she he was going to say.

"When we were in quarantine. When the whole agency thought we had contracted some contagious virus. We were lucky that God comes in handy by giving us each other to make isolation a bit more bearable."

Sydney remembered. That memory was almost too strikingly vivid in her mind. She also knew what Vaughn was trying to get her to remember. When they'd been lying there, not knowing if they were going to see another day, she'd been on the verge of telling him that he'd made an impact on her professionally and…personally. Only a visit from the doctors telling her that she was free to go and that Vaughn needed more tests had forced that to be delayed till the day they'd successfully brought down the whole SD-6 organization.

"You do remember, don't you Syd?" Vaughn whispered, breaking into her thoughts.

"I do," she answered, "but there were two beds then and we…I didn't even know that you liked me as much as you did."

"But you were going to let me know how you felt about me right? That my being your handler made your job easier and at the same time….more difficult."

Sydney wasn't sure if she was impressed of appalled. Vaughn was full of himself or doing a good job faking it. Unfortunately, she felt herself melt, wanting to give into Vaughn's teasing grin and explore his tanned abdomen that lied just under his shirt.

But she couldn't. No…she wouldn't.

"Look, this is different, so let's not even compare the two. Yes, I was going to tell you that you were always on my mind, I couldn't help but have osculating thoughts whenever you were around. But presently, I am in love with you and I mistakenly believed that I meant everything to you and you…as "into me" as you've been acting tonight…you're married."

All the words that he'd been thinking to say disappeared instantly form his mind and he just gawked at her. Sydney gave him a very distasteful expression as she climbed under the sheets and laid down against her pillow, her back against him.

Ouch. Vaughn had never felt so rejected by her in his life. Had she not been who he believed was the woman he was meant to spend his life with, he would have pushed her out of the bed or he'd sleep on the floor. But he didn't. He just lay there and stared at her back until he could take it no longer. Fortunately she let out a sneeze before he had a chance to say anything and Vaughn decided to take full-fledged advantage of the situation.

"Syd, you cold?"

She murmured something but he couldn't make it out. He made a daring move and pulled her arm until she turned to look at him.

"Vaughn?"

"Turn towards me," he ordered here and when she didn't, he pulled on her shoulder so that her body was facing him. "You sound like you've got a cold coming on. Since Russia is pretty much a Tundra, it doesn't surprise me. I know you don't want anything to do with me right now but I guarantee this would be a lot warmer for both of us."

"It may be warmer but don't you think we're compromising ourselves by putting ourselves in this kind of situation? I mean, just early tonight you declared your love for me, a little before that, you told me how proud you are that your wife is doing so well with all this. I…I just don't think it's a good idea for two adults who used to be intimately involved to be sharing a bed together," Sydney explained, trying to sound like she meant it.

She found it hard with Vaughn flashing her that boyish grin.

"How do you figure?"

"Well…it's not a hard question to answer, is it Vaughn? Don't you think…I mean….aren't you at all worried that…something might happen between us?" She was amazed that she'd actually gotten that far. She almost screamed when he rolled over on top of her and looked down at her with the most seductive glance.

"To tell you the truth, Syd….I'm expecting it," Vaughn stated matter-of-factly. "And don't worry, if I didn't know there weren't cameras in this room I wouldn't think of doing what I'm about to do next."

And then Vaughn lowered his face to hers until their lips collided, triggering a response from Sydney before she could ask him what it was that he was going to do next.

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Duh duh duh! So like I said, totally for S/V shippers all the way! Yeah, I know that it's season 5 but this was the Alias legacy doesn't have to end. I promise this is going to be a good one, something worse reading…especially since I'm fond of cliffies! (evil laugh) Anywho, please review, tell me what you're thinking and then we can move onto what happens on the morning after!

Till Next Time

Total Vaughn Lover