Title: Elrond's Reasons For Choosing the Members of the Fellowship 6/6
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them?
Special Warnings: Naughty language, implied drug use
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
*~*
Don't get me wrong, as far as the Istari go, Gandalf is an okay guy. But his choice of traveling companions has degenerated over the years. Gone are the good old days when he hung around with Glorfindel. Now it's Dwarves and Hobbits. I know I'm being unkind but you don't show up unannounced on someone's doorstep with fourteen 'guests' in tow. But what can you expect from an alcoholic junkie. His first vice of Dwarven Ale has grown to include Hobbit weed. Now I'm not above smoking a bowl now and again myself but I don't carry my pipe with me everywhere I go. And he's always showing up here trying to bogart my stash. Adding insult to injury by pretending to just need a map translated. He is a higher being for Eru's sake, don't tell me he can't read a fucking map. Besides where in my list of titles is the word 'wise'. If my mother-in-law wasn't such a bitch and would let Celeborn have a few friends, maybe Gandalf wouldn't be camped out on my doorstep all the time.
It's time he stepped up to the plate and did something about Saruman. If Gandalf hadn't been such a pussy and had taken the job of Head of the White Council when we offered it to him, we wouldn't be in the situation we are in now. As it is, I'm going to have to pay a heavy tariff tax to that old goat, Saruman, in Orthanc to get my shipment of Dwarven Ale from the Lonely Mountain.
And Gandalf had the nerve to speak the Black Tongue, in my house. Talk about being rude. My poor sensitive ears are still ringing from it. Gandalf has to go.
Yes, life will be much better once these nine pesky individuals are out of my house. I think I shall give them a nice, spiffy name, maybe the Comrades or, how about, the Buddies of the Ring. No, that doesn't sound good at all. I could go with Nine Guys and a Pony named Bill. No, that was the name of a band at the Grey Haven Festival last year. Don't need a lawsuit for trademark infringement. I've got it! I'll call them the Company of the Ring better known as The Nine Walkers. Yeah, that will do.
The End
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them?
Special Warnings: Naughty language, implied drug use
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
*~*
Don't get me wrong, as far as the Istari go, Gandalf is an okay guy. But his choice of traveling companions has degenerated over the years. Gone are the good old days when he hung around with Glorfindel. Now it's Dwarves and Hobbits. I know I'm being unkind but you don't show up unannounced on someone's doorstep with fourteen 'guests' in tow. But what can you expect from an alcoholic junkie. His first vice of Dwarven Ale has grown to include Hobbit weed. Now I'm not above smoking a bowl now and again myself but I don't carry my pipe with me everywhere I go. And he's always showing up here trying to bogart my stash. Adding insult to injury by pretending to just need a map translated. He is a higher being for Eru's sake, don't tell me he can't read a fucking map. Besides where in my list of titles is the word 'wise'. If my mother-in-law wasn't such a bitch and would let Celeborn have a few friends, maybe Gandalf wouldn't be camped out on my doorstep all the time.
It's time he stepped up to the plate and did something about Saruman. If Gandalf hadn't been such a pussy and had taken the job of Head of the White Council when we offered it to him, we wouldn't be in the situation we are in now. As it is, I'm going to have to pay a heavy tariff tax to that old goat, Saruman, in Orthanc to get my shipment of Dwarven Ale from the Lonely Mountain.
And Gandalf had the nerve to speak the Black Tongue, in my house. Talk about being rude. My poor sensitive ears are still ringing from it. Gandalf has to go.
Yes, life will be much better once these nine pesky individuals are out of my house. I think I shall give them a nice, spiffy name, maybe the Comrades or, how about, the Buddies of the Ring. No, that doesn't sound good at all. I could go with Nine Guys and a Pony named Bill. No, that was the name of a band at the Grey Haven Festival last year. Don't need a lawsuit for trademark infringement. I've got it! I'll call them the Company of the Ring better known as The Nine Walkers. Yeah, that will do.
The End