Title: Elrond's Reasons For Choosing the Members of the Fellowship 1/6
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them? We make no money from this fic.
Special Warnings: Naughty language; Implied Drug Use
Beta: None
Cast: Canon characters.
Timeline: LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring.
Archive: Tortured Scribe
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
*~*
Elrond sat in his private chambers considering the dilemma of the One Ring and his unwanted houseguests.
Thankfully, Frodo had volunteered to take the Ring to Mordor and his little friend Sam was willing to go with him. Which is a good thing cause Sam would just sit around and cry if I didn't let him go, Elrond thought.
Bilbo came to me earlier begging me to get them out of Imladris. He couldn't bear to tell the story of the Trolls one more time to Sam. Come to think of it, Bilbo has been running around Imladris mumbling about his precious and it is starting to get on my last nerve.
Then there's the whole issue of Frodo's sad eyes. Big watery orbs of blue that follow your every move, it is enough to drive an Elf to drink. I wonder what Thranduil's excuse is. There is only so much healing one can do and I'm afraid that if Frodo were around Imladris much longer, he'd have Elves committing suicide left and right. Everyone knows that Elves can only handle so much angst and sadness before they just say fuck it and off themselves.
Besides, we just can't afford to feed them. Every time I turn around the cooks are complaining about the little bastards raiding the pantry.
Then there is the whole Glorfindel issue. Every time he sees Frodo he starts bitching and whining about Arwen upstaging him. If I have to hear about "it should have been me that stood up to The Nazgûl" one more time, I'm gonna bitchslap him.
Don't get me started about those two worthless slacker sons of mine. I mean it's bad enough that Elladan and Elrohir have picked up some really bad habits from the humans, like not bathing. But now they're running around with pipes hanging out of their mouths and mushrooms stuffed in their pockets. Even worse Arwen has taken to wearing tunics and short pants. And her legs are so white they could blind an Elf at fifty paces. Not even Gil- galad's armor was that bright.
One good thing is that they finally end up in Lorien. That aught to keep my bitchy mother-in-law busy. If I get one more nasty letter from her about how I let her baby girl get attack by Orcs I'll stab her with a poison blade myself. The thought does have merit, as Celeborn would probably throw one hell of a party.
Now, that depressing little Hobbit and his friend will need some company. Seven more should do it and I think I know whose next.
TBC
Authors: The Elf and The Dwarf (Mayetra and Hedda)
Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If we owned 'em do you honestly think we would share them? We make no money from this fic.
Special Warnings: Naughty language; Implied Drug Use
Beta: None
Cast: Canon characters.
Timeline: LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring.
Archive: Tortured Scribe
Summary: The real reasons Elrond chose the members of the Fellowship.
*~*
Elrond sat in his private chambers considering the dilemma of the One Ring and his unwanted houseguests.
Thankfully, Frodo had volunteered to take the Ring to Mordor and his little friend Sam was willing to go with him. Which is a good thing cause Sam would just sit around and cry if I didn't let him go, Elrond thought.
Bilbo came to me earlier begging me to get them out of Imladris. He couldn't bear to tell the story of the Trolls one more time to Sam. Come to think of it, Bilbo has been running around Imladris mumbling about his precious and it is starting to get on my last nerve.
Then there's the whole issue of Frodo's sad eyes. Big watery orbs of blue that follow your every move, it is enough to drive an Elf to drink. I wonder what Thranduil's excuse is. There is only so much healing one can do and I'm afraid that if Frodo were around Imladris much longer, he'd have Elves committing suicide left and right. Everyone knows that Elves can only handle so much angst and sadness before they just say fuck it and off themselves.
Besides, we just can't afford to feed them. Every time I turn around the cooks are complaining about the little bastards raiding the pantry.
Then there is the whole Glorfindel issue. Every time he sees Frodo he starts bitching and whining about Arwen upstaging him. If I have to hear about "it should have been me that stood up to The Nazgûl" one more time, I'm gonna bitchslap him.
Don't get me started about those two worthless slacker sons of mine. I mean it's bad enough that Elladan and Elrohir have picked up some really bad habits from the humans, like not bathing. But now they're running around with pipes hanging out of their mouths and mushrooms stuffed in their pockets. Even worse Arwen has taken to wearing tunics and short pants. And her legs are so white they could blind an Elf at fifty paces. Not even Gil- galad's armor was that bright.
One good thing is that they finally end up in Lorien. That aught to keep my bitchy mother-in-law busy. If I get one more nasty letter from her about how I let her baby girl get attack by Orcs I'll stab her with a poison blade myself. The thought does have merit, as Celeborn would probably throw one hell of a party.
Now, that depressing little Hobbit and his friend will need some company. Seven more should do it and I think I know whose next.
TBC