The Diaries of Wally Wood

Genre: General/Humor

Fiction Rated: T for language

Last Revision: 12/09/08

All righty, you Hoennshippy, BRENDAN X MAY FUH-EVAH lovers. This be a Wally-based story (no, not a romance between him and May). I figured it'd be interesting to see the side of the story through Wally's eyes. This story, however, does quote some material from my other stories, but you don't need to read them to get it. Anyway, enjoy!

Wedding Day

I remember the first time I met May, from her cinnamon-brown hair to the deep blue of her eyes. Those eyes would burn with so much passion that an ocean full of despair couldn't put them out. I suppose you could say that our relationship was love at first sight. At least that was the case for me anyway.

Though, I also remember ... him. The boy that competed for her love. The boy who would rival me at everything I did. The boy named Brendan. I laugh at the memories of all the fights we had, of all the acts of heroism we had to go through together, and of all the hurt and agony of seeing each other with the one we crushed on, May Maple.

A little trip to the past can't hurt now, can it?

"I was a sickly boy," as my mom would like to state whenever our neighbors would ask why my nose would be pressed against the cold glass of the window. "He mustn't go outside, for he might get weaker since it's so much work to breathe." Of course, I'm over-exaggerating on this part, but it still felt like I was caged up like an animal in the zoo.

So obviously, not unless you lack in the common sense department, I wasn't born healthy, yet my dad would say, "It doesn't matter how big you are on the outside as long as you are big on the inside." Yeah, well, I too have no clue what the fuck my dad was on when he said this thing since it had nothing to do with my entire situation at hand but still. I tried to live up to that quote, and I thought I did pretty well too until they came. I remembered the first thing I said with my 'beloved' in the room.

"You said you would help me catch a Pokémon before I left Norman."

I slap my head every time I think of the first words muttered from my mouth. I even noticed May before I entered and could of said something smart like,

"Hey Norman! You think I could borrow your Pokemon to catch a Pokémon on my OWN?"

But noooo. I had to sound all frail and weak! I had to sound like I couldn't do things without someone's help! Great way to start, Wally! Ugh.

Sorry, I'm stalling, aren't I? Okay, moving on. I remembered the other thing I have to complain about.

I just got Norman's, May's father's, Pokémon, Zigzagoon from him, and being the 'genius' that I am I have to sound even more 'stronger' by stuttering,

"Thank you ... Thank you for everything."

Ah! Okay, I'm sorry again. Shut up. Don't be laughing at me. Actually, what's exactly with wrong with saying "thank you?" What the heck am I so mad about in that statement? I must have took whatever my dad took when he told me that infamous line quite some time ago.

But yes, like I was saying, I could tell with from first glance that the traveling companion of May, Brendan Birch, liked May too. Maybe he was another case of love at first sight, that I will never know. I did know I could never compare or defeat him. Here I was, this ... powerless, delicate, little wallflower and here was the other boy who was strong, sturdy, and reliable especially in the time of peril. Like I said over a billion time, I was weak, but I was also the very jealous type too. Damn, two curses. Latios must have hated me when he chose my qualities.

Though maybe he didn't hate me as much since the first Pokemon I ever caught was my ever faithful Ralts. I saw the surprised and greedy glint in Brendan's eye when I turned around to face the trainers. Never will I forget when he gave his hoot of surprise:

"Whoa! A Ralts! Even my dad has trouble finding those in the wild!"

I smile as I gaze down at my old friend Ralts, who a long time ago evolved into a Gardevoir. Those we're some good times, training my Pokémon, bringing them up to their full potential, befriending them.

Oh yes, where was I again? Oh, shut up again, I don't have a short-term – what was I doing again? Haha, I'm just kidding around with you! Don't you just love me? I doubt it.

Yeah, so as I was saying, I held proudly in my right hand my newly caught Ralts! It was a proud moment. Please. A moment of silence ... Okay, I'm done. Are you? Whatever, I don't care. Haha, I'm kidding again! Oh great, the very few fans I have just left. Ho hum, you're a bum if you left my house.

Oh, May, my sweetheart. I still remember that first grin that you gave me. Oh my, doesn't that sound corny? You know what it reminds me of? That's right, that one hamster on that really odd anime "Hamtaro" with that fat-ass hamster named Boss who was in love with that hamster that oddly had a French accent and pigtails. Or hamtails. Or whatever.

"Thanks! Oh and you too, May, for supporting me!"

She smiled sweetly in return. "No problem! I'm always happy to help other!"

"Heh, it's quite hot in here."

What a lame quote. What? You know it's true too! "Heh, it's quite hot in here?' I mean, what the hell is that! I was a lame, lame thirteen year-old boy who rants about hamsters having pigtails or whatever I said a few lines ago – I mean, a few seconds ago. I forgot that I'm not in a 'fic but actually, you know, pretending that people are here and talking to said pretend people.

Oh yes. The first initial sign that me and Brendan would be rivals through our travels through the Hoenn region ...

"Not really, since this IS an air-conditioned building."

I'm pretty sure Brendan and I will have a laugh over this if I ever tell him. You had to be there to get it, but until then, you're screwed. Twice over. With minimal comfort. And other things that you can insert here to make myself funny. Yeah.

Of course, being the lame, lame thirteen year-old boy that I was, I had to make sure that Brendan did not know that I like May already. Thank Latias for Norman who helped cover up for me.

"Yes, it's really hot. Maybe someone switched the air-conditioner to the heater."

My other father, besides my real father, that was a father to me. Did that make any sense whatsoever? It didn't? Well tough luck 'cause I'm moving on!

Brendan and I did have several nicknames for each other. I was Wall Leak, Wood, Wallace, Walter, Wanna-Be, and so many others while he was Bread Head, B Boy, Birch, bas- oh little kids are reading this? Damn. But the first nickname I ever said to Brendan was,

"I guess I'll see you later! Bye May! Oh, and Brandon!"

Well, technically, that's not really a nickname but a mispronunciation instead. You know, like the name ... uh ... Wait, what? Moving on ... Don't worry, you little Brendan fan girls. He got back at me too,

"It's BRENDAN!"

Well, I wouldn't call that 'getting back' at me, but whatever. Your call, not mine.

So as time slowly passed on like a Numel with no legs, I moved to Veranturf to get better physically-wise, and eventually I did. I felt very confident in myself ... perhaps too confident. I even sent May a video messge about how I felt! Not only am I lame, I'm rather idiotic too.

"Hey, May! I finally made it to Veranturf Town! It's really cool and ... What's the word? Springy? Fresh? I don't know, but you have to check it out! Hope you get here soon! Bye! Oh, wait, you're probably wondering how I got your phone number, huh?

"Well, you see, I got the number from you mom back in Littleroot when we were going to Veranturf Town, and now you're probably saying, 'Veranturf Town isn't even in the direction of Littleroot!' See, this is kinda hard for me to explain, but ever since I met you – which was two days ago – and you helped me catch a Pokémon, I had this uh ... I began to ... This is hard for me to say.

"I like you in the more than friends sort of way if you know what I mean."

Wow! I said that when I was thirteen! I can't even utter those words now, and I'm twenty-one years old!

Oh yeah, I also remember asking May about that exact same message,

"Hey Wally! Haven't seen you for awhile! I got your video message!"

"Oh. Uh, what do you think of it?"

"Of what? Your message was good if that's what I mean. Is this the first time using a video phone or something?"

"No, I mean the end of it."

"The end?"

"... Never mind. It wasn't important."

I never asked May again about that message since I'm too embarrassed still. But you know what the strangest thing is? Brendan knew instead of May. Talk about getting the wrong person! I know, I know, something corny yet witty should have gone there, but you try to think of one! It's hard!

"Got your message before May even saw it, 'Wallace!' Don't worry though! I deleted the last three minutes of the video, so that's why May looked clueless."

That reminds me to kick his ass later about that.

Moving on, I grew up, and went from my jealous stage to my – to put it in loose terms – arrogant stage. I remember the first time I showed off. I was in battle with a some random dude off the street. Of course, he looked rather wimpy and scrawny like I used to, so I suppose I "Brendan Birch'd" it like he did with me when we first met.

"Chill out, Wally. This trainer looks tough."

"Oh yeah, Birch. He looks reeaaalllly tough. I bet you a wild Zigzagoon can kick his butt!"

"Stop showing off, Wannabe. It just makes you sound big-headed. Only immature, little trainers make fun of a trainer they don't even know."

"I'll show you immature trainer, Birch, and then we'll see who's laughing now!"

Arrogant, yet naive. I lost – the boy kicked my behind actually. So that stage of my life didn't last too long luckily because by the time I got over it, May and Brendan came back in my life to haunt me once again. I remember it like it was yesterday ...

Mauville was having the annual Hoenn Fair there that year. I went on a few dates with May, Brendan went on a few dates with May, and sometimes, we all went together. True bliss. Maybe it would have been truer if B Boy wasn't there, but then I wouldn't have learned one of life's most important lessons without him. Nah, I won't go into detail just yet, but I will let you see something that I learned: Expect the unexpected but be cautious around the things you expect.

"Um, May?"

"Yeah, Wally?"

"I just wanted to tell you before you left is that I ... I–"

"Yeah?"

"Never mind."

Did you notice how I ended most of my one-on-one conversations with May with "never mind" or something loser-like? I really hate that. Seriously. With all my heart. What's with me and primer language? Why do I talk in such short, choppy sentences? That must bug you shitless, especially you constructive reviewers. I'm glad I bug you, fools.

Hmm, what's that? You're wondering why I didn't tell May I liked her? Come now, it's obvious! I was scared, duh! I couldn't just tell her, the girl I liked for over a year, about how I felt! But luckily, I did tell her years after, but that's another story isn't it?

So here I am, church bells ringing in my ears, and I can't help but smile joyfully from ear to ear. Today was the day! It would be a day that I would never forget for the rest of my life.

The doors finally open and the finely dressed people stand in the pews. The most beautiful woman in the world walks down the aisle towards me, her white gown floating about her softly like morning fog as her delicate, slippered feet tread on the soft velvet of the carpet. I could see a very steady, yet unsure, smile cross her face as she comes closer to me, her long, thin fingers grasping a bouquet of white roses. My, was she gorgeous. I have never felt such a being grace my presence like she has.

I suppose I looked rather nervous for Brendan looked at me and gave me a small grin, and I gave him one back as May continued her long path down the aisle. She, like Brendan, gave me her own, sweet little smile as she locked hands with her love, Brendan Birch.

I give you, Brendan, the most precious gift in the world, take care of her even though I know you will.

And May, I know that Brendan will make you an excellent husband. You two have known each other forever, and I'll know you both will love each other 'til forever as well. Remember that you'll always be in my heart. You've always been my friend – almost like my sister.

I love you, May Birch, and I can only pray that you know that too.