It Feels Like A Dream

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, unfortunately!!!

A/n: This story is for my grandad who passed away on 13th October 2003. As you'll notice, this is mainly based on that day, the events that followed, and how my grandma and I reacted. Like my other story, 'I Never Meant To' I find it helps to do this, allows me to put my feelings down and things like that.

This story is AD/MM and all those present know about Dumbledore and McGonagall. If you don't like AD/MM well sorry, but really they're a bit like my grandparents, and it's kind of fitting.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I have to admit it feels strange writing this, writing you a letter that you'll never get the chance to read. If I'm honest I don't really know why I'm doing it, well apart from the fact that Professor McGonagall asked me to. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say, so I think I'll just tell you what I'm thinking.

I mean I don't understand why this has all happened, why you've been taken away, you've gone and left us all with no help, guidance, and most of all no you.

Hogwarts won't be the same without you; life won't really be the same without you. It still feels a bit surreal, as though this isn't really happening, that any minute now I might just wake up. Of course I no its not true, but there's still that small piece inside my heart that believes there is the slightest possibility that I could wake up and you'd be still here, looking out for us all.

You were the Greatest Wizard of our time, and so many people around this world will miss you for that, for your triumphant and famous defeat of Gridelwald and your constant battle, and help against Voldemort. I don't know how I'll cope without your advice and aid. If it hadn't of been for you, I'd never have made it past my first year. I'm sure you remember the Voldemort/Quirrel incident.

I feel as though I never told you just how much I appreciated everything you did for me. You didn't have to do anything at all, you could have left me to get on with things, but you didn't, and I will never forget that. I just… well I just wish I'd had the chance to tell you that. I know that this letter is supposed to be a way of doing so, but I'd have liked to have had the opportunity to have told it to you personally. My chance has gone though, and although I never said it I hope you knew of my thankfulness.

I'm also sorry for my outburst last year, I never meant to act like that, but the shock of Sirius's death, and then the prophecy, well I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to say. I never meant to upset you, but I couldn't help it, it was a natural reaction, and if I could, I'd go back and change everything about that year, and especially that night.

It's hard you know, to lose two people that you consider to be the family I never had in the time of 6 months. The feeling well it's really a mixture of sadness, loneliness and emptiness. I've lost Sirius, my Godfather, and the closest thing I had to a father, and you, the man I considered to be well I suppose a grandad. It sounds silly saying that, but that's how you acted. You looked out for me, helped me out of most of the danger I encountered, you tried to protect, and help me. You behaved like a surrogate grandfather to me, taking the place of the two I never knew.

I think I've said all I wanted to say to you, but never got the chance, I'm quite glad I did this actually, I feel much better for it. I just really want to say thank you, thank you for everything you ever did for me, and that I'll never ever forget it, or you! Even though you've gone, just promise me one thing, you'll never leave us not properly any way, we'll all need someone just like you to look after us, and help us along the way.

Yours Harry xxx

PS: I hope they've got an everlasting supply of sherbet lemons waiting for you.

Folding the letter up into quarters, Harry placed it into an envelope before inscribing 'Professor Albus Dumbledore' on the front. Leaving the boys dormitory, he descended the staircase hoping to slip away unnoticed through the common room. As he made his way through he noticed that all the Gryffindors were comforting each other, all were sat around in a large group softly speaking about the Headmaster. As he made his way up the moving stairs towards Dumbledore's office Harry began to feel a bit nervous. Instead of knocking on the oak door, he bent slowly down, pushing his letter underneath the thin gap at the bottom of the door. He quickly turned round and ran down the staircase, quicker than the stairs could have taken him.

The movement of a white square by the door out the corner of her eye caught Minerva's attention. Moving the intense focus of her eyes from the roaring fire to the stationary object she slowly moved towards it. Picking the envelope up she immediately recognised the writing having marked the boy's homework for the last 5 years. The memory of her words about a eulogy came flooding back to her, and her thoughts turned to her own letter that she was yet to write. Grasping a piece of parchment, quill and ink pot from his desk, she sat herself in the large cosy red armchair next to the fire. Her legs tucked underneath her, and her head resting against the back of the chair, her thoughts returned to the man she had just lost.

To my beloved Albus,

I must admit to you now that I am at loss, a dead end you might call it. I am no longer whole, instead I'm missing a large part of my heart and soul, and that part is you!

I don't know what to do; you'd have loved this statement had you been here to hear it. I Minerva McGonagall don't know what to do. I don't have you with me anymore you went and left me, and I don't know what to do without you, I can't function properly. You've been a part of my life for a longer time than you haven't. 60 odd years together, that's a long time Albus, especially for you to just up and leave me with no warning whatsoever. I know you didn't plan to do it like that, after all we were supposed to go together weren't we. I feel so stupid for ever really believing that. I should have known that it was so unlikely that we'd both die together, but you had such a way of making me believe things like that. Do you know why I believed stupid things like that? Because you believed them too!

However now, well now, I haven't got you anymore, I haven't got you to believe in some silly thing so much that I too begin to believe. I haven't got the assurance and comfort you always gave me when the world and our lives weren't going to plan. I no longer have the well known hero by my side to brighten my day with those beautiful blue twinkling eyes. Most of all I don't have you, my beloved husband who after years of marriage and friendship still managed to surprise me every day.

Oh Albus I wish you were here, to guide me through this, I just don't know how to handle this, I can't see my life without you in it, I never thought a day like this would come. You were always so sprightly and lively you weren't supposed to die! You were supposed to stay with me, right by my side. We could have gone together when we were both too tired of this world and this life. But no, you had to go off on your own and leave me to continue on without you.

If you could see me right now, and the state I'm in. Look what you've done to me Albus Dumbledore you've reduced me to this state, crying nearly every minute of the day, and I'm not even crying for you! It's a selfish act I know, I'm crying for myself and my loss, not for you, but I can't help it, I know you want me to be strong, but I can't! You were the factor that made me strong, you were the man I took my strength from, but you are no longer here, and neither is my strength.

I just wish I could have you back, even if it were for 5 minutes, though saying that both you and I know that I'd never want to let you go once you were back. But to have you stand here and hug me, whispering words of comfort, well that would mean the world to me. I need you Albus; I'm empty without you.

Why couldn't you have waited for me? Why did you go? I just can't understand it, there were no warnings, well none that you let us on to, there was no nothing. It was so sudden, you went to sleep, and never woke up. I know that was always the way you wanted to go, but why now, why not next year, or the year after that? Why didn't you wait for me? You know I'd of come with you, but now, now I'm sitting here all alone picturing you in my mind.

I have always loved you Albus Dumbledore, I still love you, and I will always love you right up until the time when we meet again.

All of my love

Minerva xxxx

PS: Wait for me!

Placing the quill down for a moment, Minerva copied Harry's movements folding the letters into quarters, and placing it into a sealed envelope, which she sealed with wax. Her handwriting spelt out 'My one love Albus Dumbledore'. Picking up Harry's letter, she placed them on his desk, his name facing upwards, ready for him to read. As tears began to fill her eyes and slowly begin to fall, she swept out of the office into the bedroom her now regular room of comfort and grief.

A/n: Well that's all done, I'm not too sure that's worked well or not. I'm sorry if its all a bit jumpy, and of course the really short chapter again. The next chapter will most definitely be the funeral, and most likely be the last chapter, but I'm not sure yet. I don't think that will appear till after June 14th the day of my last AS exam. Yay!

Oh and I've also started writing a prequel to this fic, with more detail on how Albus and Minerva met, already mentioned in the previous chapter. I may have that finished quite soon depending on how bore I get doing physics coursework and revising.

Please read and review, and please no flamers, I know it may not be good, but it's from the heart.

I'd also like to thank my reviewers:

Liz O'Brien: I hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for your kind comments. By the way your new fic is fantastic.

 evilwoman: I promise you that min won't do anything stupid, thankfully my grandma didn't either otherwise my family would all be screwed in the head.

Morgana-Alex: I'm really glad that you've felt so touched by this story, I loved my grandad with all my heart and it's a really difficult thing to cope with.

tabbyforever: this story is helping me actually, I find that it does in a way, like my other story 'I never meant to' although I'm a bit messed up again because of all this, but it does help a lot. I'm glad you'd like a prequel because I'm writing one.

minerva's quill: I'm really glad you liked it, and I'm feeling a bit honoured with both you and evilwoman reviewing my story.