The pre-dawn found the pair lying together, sharing each other's warmth. Only Susan was asleep though.
Marcus had slept a little, but he had spent so much of the previous day unconscious, that his body demanded to be awake. For an hour, maybe two, he had watched Susan sleeping, her head resting comfortably on his chest, an arm flung territorially across his body. She was so beautiful and serene, that Marcus could have remained there for an eternity; feeling her heart beating, watching the gentle movement of her ribcage as she breathed, and playing with a loose strand of her hair.
Unfortunately, nature had a stronger calling than contentment. Carefully disentangling himself, Marcus went in search of the bathroom. On his return, Susan had shifted position but not woken. He carefully pulled one edge of the patchwork quilt over her to stop her getting cold. After one last longing gaze at Susan's sleeping form, Marcus picked up his boots and padded through to the living area.
His body was still feeling a little out of sorts, but just the one day of activity had worked his muscles a good deal of the way back to their former strength. They were complaining though. He stretched the crampness of weeks of bed rest out of them. Boy, did it feel good! He couldn't remember the last time he had had a good stretch.
Tentatively, he began a set of exercises; part of the Rangers' morning routine designed to prepare the body for the day ahead after a night's rest. The slow movements, similar to Tai Chi, gently worked all the muscles in turn whilst calming the mind. Thus was the correct balance achieved that was necessary to complete a day's work.
Or so the Minbari said. Marcus had always found the exercises easier to complete than silent meditation, and they did serve as a good warm up before the more vigorous training. Today though, as he wobbled in the gloom of Susan's quarters, he used them to gauge how much further he had to go before he was back at full fitness.
Quite a way, he decided as he stopped to catch his breath, his heart pounding, with only half of the movements completed.
"Computer; lights."
On the cabinet where Marcus had leaned to recover, were a number of framed photographs. The one nearest to his hand had caught his eye and he picked it up for a better look. The two figures in the picture were unmistakable, but their appearances were startling. Susan had never said she had cut her hair! The effect was striking but a little severe. She also looked thin and pale as if she had been ill. The other person in the photo appeared to be perfectly healthy and Marcus spent a few moments drinking in the image of Marie. He slotted her teenage appearance into his mental timeline between the child he had left and the woman he had met the day before.
His gaze roamed over the other photos, each one a moment of the years he did not remember passing. Marie's life laid out before him.
One by one, he picked them up, matching the picture with what Susan had related the night before. A graduation photo; holiday snaps; a wedding group; family portrait. He suddenly felt like he was looking at a stranger. The shy little girl that his daughter had been was long gone and a woman he didn't know was in her place. Would they be able to recapture the relationship that they had once had, or was it no more, along with his lost years?
OoOoOoO
A sound from the corridor outside shook Marcus out of his gloom. Who else was awake for the dawn?
Quietly, he followed the footsteps to the garden. He paused in the shadows as Delenn watched the sun come up, not wanting to disturb an obviously private moment.
"You are up early old friend."
Marcus was startled to be discovered, "I am sorry Entil'zha," He stuttered, "I did not wish to intrude."
"You did not intrude Marcus." She smiled and patted the seat next to her, "Come sit; I have something of yours. And please call me Delenn. Titles are surely reserved for more formal occasions."
He sat on the stone bench and was overjoyed at the object placed in his hands. Lovingly, he ran his fingers over the ridges of the metal cylinder, feeling its comfortable weight in his grip. Finally, he opened his pike, the familiar action still smooth. The one part of him that had been missing was now returned. He was complete.
"Have you kept it all this time?" He asked.
"No." Delenn replied, with a hint of sadness and regret. "I gave it to Lennier when he joined the Rangers. It was returned to me after his passing."
"I am sorry about Lennier." Marcus closed the pike. "I always imagined him to be at your side. I hope he found peace."
"That I do not know." The older Minbari was thoughtful, "But I do know that he bore your pike with honour, and that it served him well."
"Of that I am glad."
As if to signal a change in subject, Marcus saw Delenn settle into her 'discussion' pose. He knew it well; every conversation with that pose ended with a confession.
"How is Susan?" She began.
"Still sleeping. We talked."
"And how are you?"
"Alive." He joked, "Although I'm sure Susan has wanted to kill me more than once."
"Not as much as you might think." Delenn replied "Stephen wants to see you." She continued, "He said last night that you shouldn't 'over exert' yourself before you are strong enough."
Marcus grinned at this. He didn't know if Delenn got the reference, but he did understand the implied activity.
"I was careful." He answered cryptically. Let Stephen wonder what he had been up to. As it was, he had nearly passed out from just the kiss, so any further exertion had been curtailed. His unicorns were intact for a bit longer.
"I told Stephen you could be relied upon." Delenn commented, then as she placed a reassuring hand on his arm, "But he is worried about you; as are we all."
Marcus sighed. "I know I shouldn't have got up yesterday, but can you blame me? No one would answer any of my questions. I nearly went mad imagining everyone had died and that we had lost!"
"I am sorry for not telling you, but we did not know when would be the right time. We believed the shock would be too great for you."
"Yes! How do you tell a man that twenty five years have passed and that half his friends have gone!" an anger that Marcus didn't know was there, suddenly began to grow. He was helpless as it bubbled up, forcing him to lash out. He felt his body begin to shake as his rant built. "You left me completely in the dark! I knew nothing! You could have at least told me that Susan had survived!"
"We thought.." Delenn began, but Marcus cut her off.
"And what about William and Sophie? You told them not to speak to me didn't you? You made them promise; actually made them scared to see me. Bloody hell Delenn! How can you forbid children from seeing their Grandfather?"
He paused, unable to think of anything else to be mad about, but needing to release his rage. Glaring at the woman beside him, he saw the tears shining in her eyes.
The sorrow he saw, brought him up short.
He was raving at one of the women he had pledged his life to protect. He had challenged Neroon to Den'sha for her. It was not in her nature to be cruel; and yet he was furious towards her for caring about him.
He hung his head in disgust, suddenly hating himself.
"God Delenn," he groaned, "I'm sorry."
"You have no need to apologise, to me, or anyone." Her voice, calm and soothing, made Marcus feel worse. He felt her place a hand on his arm, but dared not lift his head to look at her. He couldn't face those eyes again.
Delenn continued, "You do know that all our decisions were made with your best interests in mind."
"I do know that Delenn. It's just that I feel…" Marcus trailed off. What exactly did he feel? Now that he had had time to sit and think, the enormity of the change that had occurred to those people and places that had once been so familiar to him was becoming frighteningly clear. "Lost." He finished finally.
"Of course you will feel lost." Delenn sounded relieved. "I can only imagine the confusion of losing so much time."
"No. It's not just that." As usual when talking to the Minbari beside him, he suddenly understood something about himself that he had not dared to admit. "I don't know where I'm going."
"None of us know where the path of life leads."
"But you make plans though." Marcus was looking at Delenn again, wanting her to understand. "We all knew the probability was great that we would die; but you still had dreams for the future. You, Stephen, Susan. Everyone, except me."
"Did you have no hopes?" Delenn asked. From her tone it was obvious she was dismayed at what she was hearing.
"Not for myself. I had to make sure Marie was safe, but beyond that, nothing. All my hopes were killed by the Shadows. I never expected to survive the war, so why plan beyond the next battle? I certainly never expected to find love."
"Is that why you never told Susan?"
Marcus nodded. "What was the point, if I was to be killed the next week? It would be better for her if she didn't know. I would not want her to suffer grief at my death if she had loved me, she had lost so many people before; and I dared not risk our friendship if she rejected me."
"But it is our hopes that give our life meaning." Delenn said, despair creeping into her voice once more. "Without direction we become stagnant, unable to become anything greater than that which we are. They are our reason to live."
"Susan is my reason to live." Marcus grasped the hands of the older woman, the anger that had burnt within him only a short time before, replaced with a vehement passion. She had to know. "The thought of seeing her face was what made me get up every morning; the fire in her eyes made me fight to return to her after every mission; the ice of her voice concluded my day." He paused. When Delenn remained silent, he continued quietly, "There were times, the few times she smiled at me, that I let myself imagine us as a family; Marie, Susan and me."
The pair on the bench in the morning sun shared a smile, each losing themselves in memories of newly discovered love. Marcus eventually ended the moment with a shake of his head and a sigh.
"It was only a dream Delenn." He said, "The fantasy of a very lonely man."
"No Marcus! It was not just a dream." She began to plead with him, "You and Susan have been given a second chance. You have time now, with no wars threatening to cut your lives short, to learn about each other. To discover the other half of your soul. Do not turn your back on that."
"But what if she doesn't love me?" Marcus' own fears were making him doubt Susan's actions the night before. What if she had acted out of guilt?
"I do not believe that will happen," Delenn replied, "But if it does, then you will always have Marie, and I will always be your friend. You will always have a home here on Minbar."
"I haven't called anywhere home in a long time."
"Then now is the perfect time to begin." Delenn's radiant smile was back, "Do not be afraid to follow your dreams Marcus. Let hope live in your heart once more."
Sitting in the warm sun, rising ever higher, Marcus was willing to believe anything possible. For the first time in years, he thought about the future, and let himself hope.
A voice calling his name, made his heart jump. Susan appeared in the garden, hair dishevelled from sleep, and ran to catch him into her arms.
"Marcus! You're still here!" she almost sobbed into his shoulder, "I woke up and you weren't there. I thought I'd dreamt you."
I am the one that is dreaming, he thought, as he held Susan tightly, revelling in the feel of her body in his arms; warm, firm and very much alive.
"I'm very real," he murmured into her hair, "And I don't plan on going anywhere soon."
A second lot of shouting broke the peace of the garden once more. This time it was children. William ran out of the house first, followed more carefully by Sophie, both still in their nightclothes.
"Grandma! Grandpa!" William yelled. "We've got breakfast ready for you." He grabbed Marcus by the arm and began to drag him back to the doorway. Sophie silently took Susan's hand and shyly watched the proceedings.
"What's for breakfast?" Marcus asked with a laugh.
"Gingerbread men!"
Marcus stopped in surprise and looked at Susan. She shrugged. It was Delenn that explained.
"We made them last night, when you were 'unavailable'. They are supposed to be for tea."
"But are perfect for breakfast." Marcus announced. "Are they iced?"
William nodded vigorously and began pulling again.
Marcus let himself be dragged inside to the kitchen where a large plate of gingerbread men had been haphazardly placed on the table. All four sat down and Marcus passed the plate first to William and then to Sophie. The girl just buried her face in Susan's arm and refused to even look at Marcus.
"There's no need to be shy." Susan tried to coax the girl, but to no avail. "I'm sorry," she said to Marcus, "She just needs time to get used to you."
"That's alright." He replied, "I know I am a bit strange when I first turn up."
It was a very unusual breakfast. William chattered round mouthfuls of gingerbread and nobody stopped him. Marcus watched in delight and wonder as Susan cajoled Sophie with a gingerbread man and then held a whispered conversation, her head bent low towards the girl's. He marvelled at how the 'Ice Maiden', terror of many a crew, could be so gentle and caring.
What other surprises did she hold? Her kisses of the night before were only a taster of the passion as yet unleashed, and Marcus hungered for it. He let his eyes roam her body, knowing well the strength that lay within that slight frame, the steel encased in skin of silk. He imagined the feel of it under his hands.
Susan looked up and caught his smouldering gaze. She sent back a scowl of her own. Marcus knew the dangers of playing with Susan's heart, but he was in a reckless mood. A little bit of teasing to build up the fire would make things very interesting. It would be fun seeing just how far he could push.
"What are you grinning at?" the object of his desire demanded.
He grinned wider. Let the games begin, he thought.
"Nothing, Grandma." He quietly laughed as her scowl deepened at the use of the matriarchal title. Goody, the Commander was back.
"Well, You can do the bedtime story tonight Grandpa." Susan said, with emphasis on the Grandpa. "I hope you know some good ones."
Marcus thought for a moment before replying, "Do you know 'Hans my Hedgehog'?"
The End
OoOoOoO
And so it ends. Many thanks to my reviewers; Crazy Ranger, pol, Fondued Jicama, mochii, Natters, Robin and everyone else. I had originally invisaged this story continuing, but it would only cover ground that so many stories have covered before. It has got to the point where the main thrust of the plot has been concluded so I would rather let your own imaginations take it further.
If anyone out there wants to use the character of Marie, feel free. Just let me know so I can make sure you're not doing anything uncharacteristic with her. I have a couple of Marie stories myself running around in my head.
Please enjoy one of the gingerbread men made by William and Sophie. I hope to meet up again sometime.
"True Magic is done with the mind and the spirit. Chants and potions are just a way to focus the magic, but they will not work without the magic of your spirit. Every wizard that you may encounter has a vast imagination, and a mind that can fly free. You still have that great gift. When you go home, you can use your imagination to see this world and us. Your mind is free from all bounds. You can travel anywhere, meet anyone and do anything, all within your mind. That is the first gateway to magic." - Nala, Wizard of T'Tenneb.
Any comments to
Ranger Hilary.