Order in the...Dojo? by NachoManLance

Disclaimer: I don't anything that is even REMOTELY related to Rurouni Kenshin. Nope, not even a DVD...*tear*

Note: Whew! It's been awhile since I've done a RK fic. Hopefully this will brighten your guys' day, cause God knows we all need a laugh ^_^. This isn't a self-insert (gasp!) and it stars almost all the RK cast I can think of off the top of my head. Don't like it, cool. If you do, cool. I accept flames and wedding propos-

*cough*

Heh heh, it happens....

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The crowd sitting inside the Kamiya Dojo was brewing with excitement and tension. Whispers raced back and forth between the audience, spreading the rumors of the accused. Although bright and sunny outside, a tone of nervousness and fear spread quickly about the small town.

Sitting in the defendant's desk Yahiko, and sitting next to him was his attorney, Sanosuke. Yahiko was sweating with tension, and shaking his hands. Sanosuke, as usual, just laid back and listened to all the talking.

Sitting in the prosecution desk was Kaoru, and sitting next to her was her supervisor Misao. Both of them sat proudly, calm and without any hint of anxiety.

Suddenly the murmuring of the crowd halted as bailiff Saitou shouted, "All rise for the....the....well, I can't really say 'honorable'.."

From behind the curtain an gavel flew and whacked Saitou square in the head.

"All right, all right! All rise for the HONORABLE Judge Kenshin!"

At once everyone inside the courthouse stood as Kenshin, wearing a large pink judges' robe, stepped out from behind the curtain and took his seat behind the stand. Afterwords everyone else sat besides Saitou. The bailiff wasn't allowed to sit in the courtroom. Poor guy.

Kenshin lifted his gavel and pounded the desk twice. "Order! The case of Mr. Yahiko versus Ms. Kaoru is now in session, that it is."

Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes at the last remark, as if it was expected.

"Would the prosecution please present their opening argument." Judge Kenshin said.

Kaoru stood almost immediately and stepped forward. She glanced toward the jury, who were just randomly chosen townsmen off the streets. One of them was picking his nose, not paying attention. Two others looked close to sleeping. She sighed, and turned her attention toward the courtroom crowd.

"My fellow townsmen and women," she winked at Misao, who winked back, "I have called forward this case against my student and apprentice, Yahiko, for disturbing the peace (mainly within the tenants of this dojo) and disrespect toward his master. Such acts are not tolerated within the dojo, or in Japan for that matter. Punishment for this misconduct results in ten lashes and no desserts for a whole week. This time though, I'd like for the people of Tokyo to make the sentence. Nothing further, your honor."

And with that, Kaoru took her seat. Misao patted her back in support.

"May the defense team give their opening argument, please." Kenshin said, slamming down his gavel.

"That wasn't all that necessary, you know..." Saitou whispered to him.

"Quiet you!" Kenshin ordered. Saitou stiffened up and said no more.

Sanosuke smirked at Yahiko, before standing up and straightening his head band. He winked at most of the ladies in the courtroom, save for Kaoru and Misao, and began his opening statement.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the dojo, this is a simple case." he said smoothly, "My client, who I might remind you is only a learning young teenager, has gone through many of these quarells in the past with Missy over here and got over it. The recent incident wasn't any different from last week, and the day before, and the day before, etc. I only ask for a drop on the charges made by our wonderful jury." The members of the jury suddenly awoke and began to blush in embarresment.

Sano sat back down besides Yahiko, giving him a pat on the back.

Judge Kenshin sat up straighter and announced, "Would the prosecution please summon their first witness."

Misao cleared her throat and stood. "Prosecution calls Megumi to the stand."

The sly kitsune stood from her seat in the audience and walked toward the stand. As soon as she sat, bailiff Saitou took out a sword and had Megumi place her hand on it.

"Do you swear on the sakaboto to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you...so help you..." Kenshin grunted impatiently.

"All right already!" Saitou groaned, "So help you Kenshin?"

Kenshin smiled behind Saitou's back.

Megumi nodded her head and took her hand off the sword. Misao calmly walked around the front of the courtroom, pacing back and forth.

"Ms. Megumi," she said loudly so everyone could hear, "Do you know the accused, Mr. Yahiko?"

"Yes," Megumi replied, "I see him practicing most of the time, but from what I know he seems to be a very good young man."

Yahiko blushed from his seat.

"The reason why he is on trial, Ms. Megumi," Misao raised her voice a tad, "Is exactly the opposite of your attraction to him."

The courtroom sat in silence, trying to register her words,..very, very slowly.

"That...totally doesn't sound right." Megumi muttered.

Misao turned a brilliant shade of red. "Mibad. Anyway, were you at the Kamiya Dojo just two nights ago?"

"Yes." Megumi answered truthfully.

"And why were you there?"

Megumi smiled, "I was invited to dinner by Sano here, and Sir Ken was cooking."

"I know where this is going!!!" Kaoru screamed from her seat. A couple of people sitting behind her finally calmed her down and the trial continued.

"What happened that night, Ms. Megumi?" Misao asked.

"Well," Megumi said, "It started with some nice riceballs as a snack, and then Sir Ken brought out his homemade Miso stew he made earlier. It was very delicious."

Kenshin blushed in his seat.

"I meant, Ms. Megumi," said Misao irritably, "Anything other than your meal."

"Oh, well in that case I did see Yahiko and Kaoru arguing over the last riceball. It eventually grew into name calling and such. I still think to this day they're secretly brother and sister.."

Yahiko and Kaoru both shouted at once, "STOP CALLING US THAT!!!!"

Sighing, Saitou digs into his pocket and takes out a tranquilizer dart.

"Oh thank GOD!!" Kenshin yells and makes a grab for it.

Saitou moved it away from his grasp. "Get your own." Seconds later he injects himself with the sleeping liquid, shouting stupid things like, "WOO, I'M GLEAMING THE CUBE!!" and such, before collapsing to the floor, asleep.

Finally, he won't be around this moronic bunch for very long.

~~

I intended to make this much longer, but I got caught up with a few other things.

I hope all of you enjoyed this part of the maybe three part series, stick around for more! Viva la Oro!!!

R/R please!