A/N: Wow. Just wow. That's all we have to say. I don't know if we ever really truly planned to update again, but who could possibly give up on such a winsome pair as Draco and Sirius? In our heart of hearts, we know this is what JK really wanted. Alright, you caught us, that is completely false. Last time we updated this, we were still mere high-schoolers. Come and see for yourselves how much a year of college has matured us. Really.
Disclaimer: If we owned them, we wouldn't have to apply for scholarships and could eat in better places than the dining hall. In fact, we wouldn't even need to bother getting a college degree.
Chapter 10 (!!!!!!!!!) Some Advice and A Discovery
Another restless night plagued Harry as he tossed and turned in the Gryffindor tower. Somehow, sneaking into Ron's Quidditch card collection and stealing the players he didn't have hadn't even put a proper smile on his face. And he ALWAYS got a good chuckle thinking about how confused Ron was in the morning when he went to check on his prized Krum card and all the rest of his Bulgarian team mates were missing. If there was ever anyone Harry worried about being gay, it was Ron. He didn't know what would happen if the two ever came face to face, but he was pretty sure it would end with a large article by Rita Skeeter on the front of the Daily Prophet with the words "rape", "harassment", and "gay" thrown around like a quaffle in the last 5 minute press.
Speaking of gay, Harry had followed Sirius' style advice – purely out of desperation – during the past few weeks since their fateful trip to Hogsmeade. It hadn't much helped him attract the ladies, though Neville had been giving him dreamy, longing stares during potions lately. Snape would merely raise an eyebrow; even he didn't want to touch that one. Harry had just been thinking of forgetting his godfather's advice altogether. The man had been locked up alone for far too long in Azkaban, anyway. But yesterday, by some divine miracle, an exchange student had shown up in the middle of herbology. But this was not just any exchange student…this student was a veela. And she had flirted shamelessly with Harry. He was pretty sure it was only because of his fame, but nonetheless, she had complimented his yellow tracksuit. So Harry decided to stick to Sirius' plan after all.
Now that he had an interested party, he realized that Sirius' plan was sorely lacking in a phase two: what to do with these girls once he had gotten them interested. In truth, he had never spent much time alone with a girl, and had never been on a date. In fact, living under the stairs at the Dursley's and living only within the social boundaries of Ron and Hermione had given him nothing to go on about how to even ask a girl out, much less what to do with her if she agreed. He though of asking Hermione for advice but then thought it would be as comfortable a topic for the two of them as it was to get bitten by an angry mandrake. If only Sirius was here! Dating for him seemed as natural as breathing for most people.
Nothing in this train of thought was making it any easier to get to sleep and Harry's eyelids were beginning to hurt from trying to hard to clamp them shut. Thus, he did what any reckless Hogwarts youth would do: he picked up his invisibility cloak and went out for a stroll in the moonlight. Before long, he found himself wandering down the familiar path to Hagrid's hut. The half- giant was away, which ensured he wouldn't be forced to consume and of his rock hard biscuits. He could make himself a nice cup of tea, maybe slip in a sleeping charm, and head back to the tower.
He was understandably surprised to find the two things he wanted most waiting for him when he opened the door. Well, sort of. Sirius was standing, back to the door, drowning in one of Hagrid's aprons as the tea kettle next to him started to whistle lightly. Harry voiced his surprised delight.
"Sirius! What are you doing here?!" he exclaimed, completely forgetting to take off the invisibility cloak.
Sirius jumped and let out a yelp, then whirled around to face an invisible Harry. "Who's there?" he demanded to know.
"Whoops, sorry, Sirius," Harry answered, ripping off the cloak. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of his godson. "I was just thinking I'd like some tea. I couldn't sleep, so I guess I sort of wandered over here…"
"Don't scare me like that, Harry!" Sirius reprimanded, still slightly shaken. Although he was completely in human form, Harry thought he could see Sirius' hackles raised. 'I guess you can take the human out the dog form, but you can't take the dog out of the human…' not realizing just how true that statement was.
"So what ARE you doing here? Shouldn't you be back in headquarters?" Harry asked, returning to his original question.
"Dumbledore gave me this huge assignment to keep an eye of the Forbidden Forest because they've been finding burnt areas in the forest, perfect circles, sometimes only half a tree burnt. Black to a crisp. There are three of these areas that they know of, all the same size, about 6 feet in diameter. they think there could be a pattern and they wanted some one to check it out, so old Dumbly is finally letting me do something- I mean… I'm here on official Order business which I can't discuss as its private information," Sirius' stern look was negated by the nifflers and flowers that covered the comically oversized smock. "Oh and if the old busybody asks, you have absolutely NO clue I'm at Hogwarts. I'm still just lazing the day away painting daffodils at Grimmauld Place…" Sirius finished off with a air-paint brush stroke worthy of any true artist, although to Harry's recollection, many 5-year-olds could produce better paintings. Sirius referred to his style protectively as "New Wave Impressionism Meets the Transitional Period from Romanticism to Baroque".
"Oh, well, if it's private Order business, then by all means, don't feel obligated to tell me anything, Sirius," Harry replied, apparently oblivious to the entire paragraph prior to and post the part about 'private business.'
Sirius' face suddenly looked more…well…serious. "Harry, why don't you, uh, come have a seat at the table? I'll fix you a nice hot cup of tea, hmm?"
Harry obliged and took the closest chair. He observed as his godfather pranced around the kitchen, from cabinet to stove, before settling down next to Harry. "You look like somebody just snatched the last pair of Adidas limited edition Airsports at the Footwardrobe blowout sale! Tell me what's wrong…" Sirius gave Harry his best concerned look, the one he had practiced in the mirror ever since he learned he was a godfather.
Harry bought it and practically before Sirius had finished his sentence, Harry began pouring his heart out. "Sirius, I have been following your advice religiously ever since that…memorable…shopping day we had. It wasn't working, and wasn't working, and I was about to give up and go back to my old style, when suddenly, we got this new veela exchange student yesterday and she was flirting with me and everything and I think I flirted back, but I'm not sure, and I want to ask her out but I don't know how and I don't even know what –"
"Whoa, Harry, slow down!" Sirius interrupted. "I never did see the great appeal of veelas, but hey, to each his own, right? So what exactly do you need advice on?"
Harry breathed deeply before responding. "I want to ask her out, have a good time, and flaunt our relationship mercilessly in front of that bitch, Cho."
"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" Sirius replied with a chuckle. "Just ask her out. Then go…oh somewhere…and have a great time, ya know? And then…like…flaunt it all in front of Cho! That's really all you need to do! It's as simple as that."
"Uh…thanks, Sirius, but could you maybe elaborate a lit—"
"Well, now that I've helped you so much, I have a problem that maybe you could help ME with for a change," Sirius said putting on his best mournful expression, puppy dog eyes aflare. " Well I met this… girl. And I thought I really really hated her. I mean, he- she was blonde and there's nothing I hate more than blondes, except , maybe, BLEACHED blondes, especially when they are as pretentious as she is. I mean I spend most of my time wanting to just kick the shit out of him- her, but then last night something happened. We hooked up and now I feel this really weird feeling and I can't make it go away. She's all I can think about, which is particularly annoying when I'm staring the mirror trying to do my hair or admire myself. What is it? Am I sick?" Sirius, by this point, was looking down right desperate.
Harry mulled this over for a moment before speaking. " Well, Sirius, I'm going to overlook the obvious problem, being that NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE, and tell you that its called 'feelings' specifically one bordering on love. I am surprised you've never felt it before, but then I suppose its not all that surprising…" After the word "love" Sirius' heart stopped beating and he failed to hear anything else Harry said. " I mean, I know how it is, that's how I feel about Cho. Oh Sirius, what am I doing? Why don't I just tell Cho how I feel, or at least try to get over her instead of just trying to piss her off. You know what? That's exactly what I'll do tomorrow at breakfast, announce my love for Cho Chang!" Harry stood up and screamed "I LOVE CHO CHANG!" and then sat back down. "Just like that, that's how I'll do it. Thanks so much for all your help and the tea!" Harry gave his godfather a hug and a peck on the cheek before dashing out the door, barely managing to pull his invisibility cloak over himself before he was out in the open.
Sirus was left to wrestle with his thoughts and Harry's untouched cup of tea, although the tea didn't really put up much of a fight.
After another grueling day under the ever watchful eye of Nearly Headless Nick and Know-it-all Granger, Draco should have been exhausted. However as curfew approached, the blonde Prince of Slytherin found himself to be wide awake. Knowing full well that he was above the rules, he decided to go on a little midnight prowl. A midnight prowl that would definitely, in no way, go anywhere near Hagrid's hut and the gorgeous brunette that lurked there.
Draco shook his head violently. He needed to stop thinking of that loathsome, foul idiot as a "gorgeous brunette" or "the talented master of his lower regions." Scum. That's what he was. A disgrace to purebloods everywhere.
So, he headed upstairs and soon found himself near the Room of Requirement, the source of all his troubles. Suddenly, he heard voices. He quickly ducked behind a statue of Ofred the Morbidly Obese, deftly ducking under some of the statue's excessive arm fat. Princes never hide, and indeed, Draco was not hiding. He was merely happening upon a chance to gain some leverage, a situation where it would be in his best interest not to be seen. Nearly Headless Nick's voice wafted down the corridor, growing louder as Draco made sure he was completely concealed. Draco spotted the Grey Lady, Ravenclaw's ghostly mascot, beside the shameless ruffian. His eyes widened as he realized the two were floating slowly, arms linked! Everyone in the castle knew the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron were practically married; they'd been together practically since Hogwarts' creation. The idea dawned on Draco that he could possibly have just discovered a juicy tidbit with which to counter Nick's equally dangerous knowledge of Draco's amorous pastimes. A grin crept across his handsomely evil face as he continued to watch.
"Oh Grey!" Nick proclaimed dramatically, "I could write a thousand pages of poetry dedicated to your succulent, translucent, appealing, curvaceous, well-formed…er…perky bosom!"
The Grey Lady turned to face him, fanning her face as she gazed at him with adoration and maybe even a hint of lust. 'Poor Bloody Baron, that naive bugger!' Draco thought as he watched this grotesque display of affection
"Oh Nick! They are nothing compared to your meaty glistening-" Draco proceeded to cover his ears and quietly hum Twinkle Twinkle Little Star until he thought she was about finished "-satisfyingly huge-" Draco returned to his song. At last he saw them engage in a long, passionate kiss followed by a dreamy-eyed Grey Lady floating through the wall across from Draco. Draco was shocked, mainly because he had no idea ghosts could actually have intimate contact, which, from the sound of things, there had been a lot of. Nick stared lustily after her.
Draco seized this opportune moment to jump out from behind Ofred, thoroughly scaring Nearly Headless Nick. "Aha!" Malfoy declared, "Your little blackmailing game is over! Ohhh when I tell the Bloody Baron about this, forget the Headless Hunt! You'll be lucky if you ever see the halls of Hogwarts again!"
"I can explain-!" the bumbling ghost began. But Draco had already been piecing things together. He didn't have the top marks in Slytherin for nothing.
" Let me guess. This has been going on for quite some time, hasn't it?" Nick hung his head sadly in acquiescence. "In fact, I'm willing to wager that the Grey Lady hasn't been faithful to the Baron in a long time, probably as long as you've been around. Even after a couple centuries, though, she still won't leave him, will she? She likes her comfortable lifestyle, being the lady of the leader of the hunt. That's the whole reason you want in, isn't it? You don't care about those insignificant pricks, you want to prove to your lady friend that you are just as worthy and capable as the Baron!"
"You don't understand what it's like to have to watch her by his side all day long and know that that will never be me!"
"So you've had me killing myself over a situation that's not even going to change? AND you lied to Granger- this has nothing to do with Nearly Headless rights at all. Poor thing will be heart broken!"
"Malfoy, it's not like that! I do care about Nearly Headless rights! And what good would come of telling Hermione any differently and hurting her?"
Draco laughed maliciously. Nick was stumbling all over his words. The ghost knew he was beat. "Look," Draco began "Justify it however you want. I don't care how you get to sleep at night… or… do whatever it is you do. And you should know I, of course, would have no problem at all bursting that mudblood's bubble. Realize this: I'm done. I will no longer be helping you on your pointless quest. You will not breathe a word of my unfortunate mistake to any one and I will make sure the Bloody Baron doesn't find out about this little affair. Just remember- if you rat me out, I'll only have to deal with it for a few more years. YOU, however will have to live with an angry Baron breathing down your neck for the rest of eternity!" Draco finished, triumphant.
Nick hung his head. "Agreed. So long then."
Draco didn't even bother to acknowledge the ghost's pleasantries as he left, cloak flaring behind him in his usual overdramatic style.
A/N: Well, there it is. Enjoy it. Savor it. You probably won't get anything new for at least a few weeks. Of course, the more reviews the faster we try to update. For the record, we had this chapter half planned out as of a year and a half ago…
Thanks to:
Weecha: We are glad to hear you are in love with our story, and we're not supposed to say anything, but it told us in the strictest confidence that it loves you too ;)
Sophie Malfoy: I am glad that you fully appreciate that line as much as we did! Did you finish DH yet? Can you believe the last time we updated, HBP had just come out?
GaBo0: As always, much love and glad you enjoyed!
Figalo: Haha, yeahhhh it definitely takes a certain amount of madness to think up D/S. We are pretty sick people, huh? Glad you enjoyed!
Kanui d'Astor: Yes, we really did. It was one of those times where the line just popped out of one of our mouthes and then it became wouldn't it be funny if Sirius said that to Draco and this is the result…
Booger: Glad you liked it. We may try. The jury is out on that. It was sooo hard for us to write that first one lol
Yukkienoloveless: Keepin' it going! Shocking, I know. We didn't expect it either…
Do-Not-Upset: We are impressed. We haven't updated in over 2 years and you still managed to find this fanfiction! Hats off to you! Glad you liked it and we hope it lived up to expectation
Over and out!