Author's Notes: Thanks, as always, go to Mandi, my wonderful beta. And thanks also go to Danny forbugging me to write a B/J story. I will get around to the threesome one, don't worry, it'll just be a little longer.
Edited to add: Another songfic where the lyrcis have been removed. The song was Don't Need the Sun to Shine by someone I can't remember. But she's on the Bridget Jones soundtrack!
Don't Need the Sun to Shine
It was hard not to be happy here. It was beautiful, peaceful and, best of all, it was just them. He was lounging on a brightly coloured towel, applying sunscreen to his legs so they wouldn't turn lobster pink by the end of the day, and laughing as his lover attempted to get him to join him in the surf only to have an unnoticed wave knock him off balance.
Eventually his lover gave up, swimming further out and diving into the waves. He smiled as he propped himself up on his elbows, content, for now, to watch his lover while he basked in the sunlight.
It was a rainy, dismal day. The sidewalk was grey, the building was grey, the sky was grey. It seemed a bucket of grey paint had been dumped over the world.
Not that thirteen year old Billy Cranston expected anything else. Nothing had been bright in his world for a little over a year, since his mother died.
He wasn't sure if he preferred Angel Grove over Chicago or not.
Chicago had been... well, not great but good at least for eleven years. It wasn't the city's fault his mother had died, leaving behind one scared, sad, little boy. It wasn't the city's fault that his father hadn't really gotten over her death yet, hadn't been able to sleep in the room they had shared, hadn't been able to hide his tears from his son.
It wasn't the city's fault but it made living there too painful for both of them. Of course, Angel Grove wasn't much better. At least they would be living in a new house, one where every trinket and corner wasn't haunted by the memory of what had been, one where his father wouldn't cry just from walking into a room.
But it also meant leaving his friends, the few that he had managed to find, behind and his school. There were no schools for the gifted in Angel Grove. Really, he could have been starting high school but he was already so painfully shy. No one thought it would be a good idea for him to get too far ahead of his age group.
So he had ended up at Angel Grove Junior High, staring out the window at the splats of rain that seemed to be spit in disgust by the grey clouds above. It was his last class of the day and so far it had been as dismal as the weather. He just wanted to get out of there, get home and bury himself in his lab. At least then he could forget for awhile that he had been ignored by the rest of the student body at lunch time and that his father seemed to have forgotten he existed.
He could forget how fragmented his life had felt since... he couldn't even pinpoint when he had started to feel that way, just that it hurt, sometimes more than he thought he could stand.
It seemed an eternity before the bell rang, signalling the end of class and the end of the day. Billy quietly made his way through the maze of chattering preteens in the hall, seeking no one out to talk to himself. He knew far to well nerds were not to be associated with. Some would humour him for a few moments, some would just stare, some would express their disgust openly and he did not want to risk the latter.
He was placing the last of his book in backpack, preparing to shut his locker and flee to his place of solace for the rest of the evening when a rather large boy and his skinny companion spotted him and bumbled over menacingly.
"Hey! You!"
"Yeah! You!"
Billy glanced up, startled, to find the two boys looming above him. He instinctively shrank back, feeling the metal of his locker press into his back. He realized that backing up had not been the smartest idea as he now could not make an effective dash to the side to get out of the situation.
"C... Can I b... be of assistance t... to you?" Billy stuttered.
"Oh, we just wanted to make sure that the new nerd," the larger boy punctuated the word by grabbing the backpack Billy clutched in his hands. The other boy let out a high pitched laugh. "was feeling welcome. I don't think we've done enough to make you feel welcome."
The other boy spared a confused look at his friend, "But Bulkie, I thought we were going to..."
"Shut up, Skull! We aren't done making him feel welcome yet!" Bulk growled. He looked at the bag in his hands and smiled before turning it upside down and shaking it so all the contents fell out. Skull wasted no time in kicking a cluster of pens down the hall.
"Hey! What are you two doing?" Another voice called out from the other end of the hall.
Bulk turned to see who it was, but Billy kept his head ducked. He didn't care who it was. He just hoped they weren't going to join in. He just wanted this to be over. He just wanted to go...
"Come on, Skull, we've got better things to do," Bulk said, letting the backpack fall to the floor and giving Billy a final shove for good measure, he felt his lock dig into his back a little. Bulk grabbed Skull's collar and pulled him forcefully toward the exit.
"Oh yeah, you're a big man when you're picking on some one smaller than you. Can't face up to someone your own size though!" The other person in the hall yelled after them.
Billy still didn't look up to see who had helped him. Instead he dropped to his knees and scrambled to shove his scattered belongings into his bag. He vaguely realized they were shaking as he managed to forcefully push his chemistry book inside.
A pair of larger hands reached down and stilled his, "Here, let me help. Those guys are just jerks."
Billy looked up, flustered, his cheeks bright red with embarrassment, and met a pair of dark, calm, if slightly angry, eyes. He stilled, unsure of what to do. This was a new experience for him and he was not sure how to react and not sure he could really move while those eyes held his.
Then the eyes flickered away, the hands moved from his, easily gathering his notebooks and pens before tucking them deftly inside his bag. Billy looked at the bag in front of him, realizing the boy must have stopped to collect the items Skull kicked down the hall, and then up at the boy himself.
"T-thank you," Billy's cheeks went a shade brighter as his voice squeaked.
The boy with the dark eyes smiled, "No problem. My name's Jason, by the way. My friends call me Jase."
"William Cranston," Billy replied automatically, "My... My mother used to call me Billy."
The smile broadened a little. "Okay, Billy. You're new here, aren't you? I thought I knew pretty much everyone in my grade."
"Yes, my father and I only recently relocated here. Today was my first time attending this education facility." Billy replied, he clutched his backpack to his check like a safety blanket, half scared any moment Jason would take it from him and taunt him as the other boys had.
"Huh. I think you're in my class," Jason mentioned, only getting the gist of what the smaller boy had told him after a moment. He got up and dusted his jeans off, offering Billy a hand when the other boy didn't follow.
He grinned again as Billy got to his feet and waited for him to shut his locker, walking out of the school with him before speaking again, "So are you still busy unpacking or are you free tomorrow?"
"I... beg pardon?" Billy replied, startled.
"Are you busy tomorrow? My friends and I are heading to the beach and I figured you might want to come along. You know, get to know some people here," Jason offered.
"I... Your friends will not be inclined to challenge the invitation you are extending to me?" Billy wondered.
"Nah, I'm sure they'd be cool with it," Jason assured him.
"I supposed so then. Yes, I would enjoy that," Billy told him slightly dazed. "I... I suppose I should give you a number so you can contact me."
Billy wasn't sure he wanted to give his phone number to this boy, but the tiny hope that this wasn't some sort of practical joke, that the offer was sincere compelled him to stop and scrawl his number on a sheet of paper. He handed it to the other boy, encouraged by the warm look in the dark eyes.
"Cool. Here's mine." Jason tore the paper in half and did the same, surprising Billy further though he supposed it could be a fake.
Billy still looked stunned as he wandered off, heading in the opposite direction of Jason. Jason watched as he left, keeping an eye out for Bulk and Skull who he had known to wait until he was gone before going back to hassling their newest prey. He would have stepped in for anyone, those two just bugged him with the way they tried to pick on everyone but he wasn't sure why he'd invited the new boy to come out with his friends.
Not that he thought any of them would mind, he thought Kim might be bringing along one of her cheerleading friends and he knew Zack was bringing his cousin but it wasn't really a normal thing for him to do.
It wasn't that he wouldn't enjoy the company either. Zack and Curtis had just recently discovered girls, Zack discovering one in particular, and would probably feel less guilty about ditching him to pursue their crushes if he had someone to talk to if Trini, Kim and Kim's friend started playing their favourite game -- guy watching.
Jason blushed a little at the thought. He didn't see what Zack and Curtis saw in girls. He knew that the one Zack kept chasing, Angela, was pretty but in an abstract kind of way. He didn't mind listening to Kim and Trini gush about the lifeguard either. He sort of got what they were saying, even if he thought the guy's haircut looked worse than their science teacher's toupee.
He didn't dwell on those thoughts, though. He was still trying to figure out what made him invite Billy along with them. It did feel right, like he should be invited but Jason wasn't sure what made him feel that way. It was just... He looked so lonely, and Jason had seen the way the smaller boy was ignored by everyone at lunch and break. And there was something in those green eyes when he was helping gather the scattered stuff up...
Jason shook his head. He figured it didn't really matter why he had invited Billy along. He was just glad he was going to come. He didn't need more of a reason than that.
The first day of high school was not going to be easy, and it was coming up fast. Billy could not help but look at the orange bricked building without feeling a great deal of nervousness mingled with excitement. He loved school, loved learning, but the social aspects... well...
"You're doing it again," Jason commented.
Billy looked at his friend, startled, "Pardon?"
"Over thinking it. It's high school, not the end of the world, not one of your experiments. It's just high school." Jason told him as they passed the building on their way home from the latest gang outing to the movies.
"While you may be entering simply another educational institution where your social abilities will allow you to continue having the popularity that you enjoyed at the former institution you attended I am not. Of course it is just high school for you. We will find ourselves in very different situations within that building," Billy replied a tad more crossly than he had intended.
"You're stressing about this way too much. We hang out with the same people; we tend to do most things together in a group. It's not like we're going to be on different planets here..." Jason began. He paused and Billy could almost see the light bulb going off over his head. "You're worried about being picked on again."
It wasn't a question but there was a tone of surprise to it. Billy snorted, "You assume that those who enjoyed the activity last year had matured enough over the course of two months to have given it up?"
"I assume to do something about it if they try to do anything to you," Jason said firmly, the muscles in his jaw tightening.
"You do not possess the ability to be in multiple places at once. You cannot protect me constantly nor would I wish for such a thing. It is impossible for you to protect me forever and when you do..." Billy looked away, suddenly uncomfortable, he really hadn't meant to get into this conversation tonight. "It is not that I do not appreciate your assistance but I fear eventually it will have a negative impact on how I am treated by our peers. If you are forced into playing the role of my defender constantly they will begin to see me as... less than I wish to be."
He paused for a moment, forcing himself not to look at his friend, "I... Eventually... As time passes it may also be that you see our friendship as a burden because of my dependence on your ability to drive away unwanted contact with some of our peers and I do not wish to lose your friendship. Not because of a select few who cannot seem to mature."
Jason was silent for a long time. They continued to walk and as they were entering the park, the quickest way to get to both their houses, Billy was becoming unnerved by the silence and lack of response from his friend. He opened his mouth to speak, to apologize, to say something but the deep voice beat him to it.
"I'm sorry, Billy. I didn't know you felt like that. I..." Jason stopped short and suddenly grasped his shoulder tightly. "You will never lose me as friend. Never. I... You mean too much to me for that. I..."
Jason looked away, forcing his face to go blank, and started walking again.
"Jase?" Billy's voice was soft. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Jason replied, suddenly seeming to snap back to normal. "Listen, I get what you're saying. I don't really like it but I don't like that you get picked on in the first place so... Unless you ask me to help or you really look like you need it I'll back off and let you handle it."
"Thank you," Billy hesitated. "I... It would be very unlikely indeed for me to willingly terminate our friendship. You are my best friend, Jason, my most valued friend, and I would not wish to lose you or take losing you lightly."
Jason looked up at him with a near blinding smile then, taking his eyes off the path for only a moment. His foot hit a root and he stumbled. Billy instinctively attempted to help steady him but ended up preventing Jason from regaining his footing and they both ended up on the ground half on top of each other.
Billy's first impulse was to laugh, it would have been somewhat nervous and hysterical but he wasn't sure what else to do. He was gripped by a sudden stillness between them; a sudden awareness of Jason's body tangled with his, completely innocently, and did not think he could move as the sudden intensity in those midnight eyes hooked him.
Jason swallowed once, then touched Billy's cheek gently, his hand nearly shaking. It was surprising for Billy to realize Jason seemed to be as scared as he felt but any hesitation on Jason's part did not last long for in the next heart beat firm lips were covering his own, cautiously at first but bolder as the seconds wore on and he did not pull away.
Jason smiled goofily as they broke away, both needing to breath. His eyes were bright and Billy couldn't help but laugh, feeling light himself. "Did we just do that?"
"Yeah," Jason answered, Billy could hear the happiness in his voice. "Yeah, we did. I liked it. Are you okay with that?"
"Uh huh, I think it would be disagreeable if you did not enjoy it." Billy looked at his friend curiously. "How long for you?"
Jason didn't pretend to misunderstand. "That I've wanted to kiss you? Last year, around Christmas when that Lisa girl from Stone Canyon had a crush on you. That I wasn't into girls? I don't know. Awhile. I couldn't give you an exact date."
"I think I realized it at the same moment. Remember that science project we did last year, that we worked the whole weekend at my house to finished? You fell asleep on the couch in my lab, I knew then, seeing you when you were sleeping." Billy blushed.
"Good, then. That makes things less complicated," Jason couldn't help but give a small sigh of relief. "I want to kiss you again."
Billy grinned, "Feel free. I want you to kiss me again."
So they kissed again.
Billy hadn't been expecting anyone to come to his door that night. It was, after all, well past the normal hour for visitors and it was also not the best night to be outside. Billy was just hoping they wouldn't lose power. His father's plane was supposed to land in about four hours and could very well be re-routed if there was a power failure.
He peeked through the peep hole before quickly opening the door and ushering Jason inside. His lover was completely soaked, indicating he had walked over in the pouring rain, and shivering.
"Jase! Why on Earth... never mind. Come on, you should get out of those clothes before I ask questions. Why didn't you call me? I would have come and picked you up," Billy asked, grabbing his robe from the bathroom and urging Jason to get out of his sopping clothing.
"Sorry, I don't... I didn't think of it. I... I just needed to see you... I..." Jason stopped and Billy felt a twinge of annoyance as he watched his lover visible try to gather himself, try to close the shutters of his expressive eyes. It was gone as soon as he saw Jason shudder and sway slightly, swallowing hard, unable to regain control.
Billy put his hand on Jason's cheek, gently turning the other boy's face toward his. He only got a brief glimpse in the dark eyes, just enough to see the pain filled shadows there, before Jason turned away, his jaw clenching, something Billy knew only happened when he was really having trouble keeping it together.
Billy sighed softly; it was rare for Jason to look this bleak. He put a hand on the small of his back, drawing him close for a few moments, letting him bury his head against his shoulder. He noticed Jason's eyes were wet when they drew apart but knew better than to comment on it.
"What can I do, Jase?" Billy asked quietly, touching his lover's arm gently.
"I'm so tired," he murmured, swaying again, vaguely understanding what the question had been. He felt Billy's hand close around his wrist.
"Okay, come on," Billy tugged gently to make Jason follow him. He led Jason to his bed and got him lying down before the bigger boy simply fell over. He was worried. He needed to find out what was wrong.
Jason curled up as tightly as possible on the bed and hugged a pillow to his chest as Billy stripped down to his boxers and donned an old t-shirt. He didn't even realize what he was doing; he just needed something to hold. Billy watched Jason carefully as he undressed; the dark eyes remained staring off at something only he could see. He looked so sad. Billy didn't think he had ever seen Jason look so sad and lost.
He didn't replace the pillow in Jason's arms, instead sitting at the head of the bed, leaning around the headboard. Jason uncurled just enough to shuffle close, curling up again when as much of his body as possible was laying in Billy's lap. He sighed softly as the deft fingers began threading through his hair, hoping to soothe away problems he hadn't even told his lover about yet.
They just lay there for a time, Billy hoping Jason would get comfortable enough to open up before his exhausted lover fell asleep. Jason was being so quiet, laying so still Billy suspecting he might have already drifted off.
He sighed, resigned to keeping watch over his troubled love while he slept when Jason spoke, his voice barely a whisper, "My father is dead."
Billy froze, unsure he had heard that correctly, "Jase?"
"A truck spun out of control on the highway and he hit it along with three other cars. The paramedics couldn't get to him in time. I... I lied to my mom. I told her he died instantly when I got off the phone. I... The paramedics told me they weren't sure, it had taken so long so get his body out they won't know until the autopsy is done." Jason's voice cracked. "He was coming home. I... Billy..."
Jason suddenly bolted up, his eyes slightly wild. Before he could do anything, not that he knew what he would do; Billy had enfolded him in surprisingly strong arms. He couldn't think, just reacted, buried his head against the willing, warm, comforting body and sobbed.
Billy didn't speak, just held onto him. He knew this pain or at least knew close enough to it. He knew there were no words to take it away. He knew Jason had to cry, had to get it out, so he let him, remaining silent even when Jason's hands gripped his shirt and back so tightly he was sure there would be bruises there later.
By the time the storm had passed Billy had shed a few tears himself, listening to Jason's half coherent words, some dying before he finished saying them. Jason's grip slowly slackened and he sagged against Billy, more exhausted then before.
He hadn't cried like that... ever, he didn't think. He would have felt embarrassed if he could have fit the emotion somewhere inside him but he just didn't have the space in that moment. He tried to stop, tried to block it all out and just concentrate on the feel of Billy against him but he couldn't, he found himself speaking again instead.
"Billy... I... You know how you said he'd come around and I... well, didn't really believe you then but I think... I think he had at least a little..." Jason broke off as a dry sob escaped him.
Billy tightened his hold on his lover as he felt Jason seem to deflate in his arms. He waited to speak, letting Jason settle against him, laying in his lap again, shifting his grip so he was hugging Billy's thigh. Billy kept a hand on Jason's stomach and let his fingers drift though the dark hair with his other, trying to ease some of the tension from his body.
"Tell me?" Billy offered softly when Jason's body relaxed slightly.
Jason drew in a shuddering breath and half buried his face against Billy's thigh. "We got a phone call tonight. From my dad."
Billy knew that alone would probably have brought Jason to him tonight. Jason had come out to his parents a little over a week ago and his father's reaction had not been pleasant. He had, after a rather heated argument, left, going to stay with his brother in Stone Canyon.
"He... I answered and he didn't hang up. He said he was coming home. That we had to talk. That he wasn't really happy but..." Jason's voice cracked slightly, "...but that he knew I couldn't do anything to change it. And he told me I was his son and he would love me regardless of who I loved."
"Oh God, Jase," Billy murmured, feeling Jason's hold on him tighten.
"I... I thought it was going to be okay, you know and then..." Jason swallowed hard, "we got a call from the police about two hours ago telling us about the car crash. He's dead, Bill, he's dead..."
"Jase..." Words failed Billy, he couldn't think of a thing to say to comfort his love as Jason began to weep again.
He moved, sliding down to lay beside Jason, and quickly drew the bigger boy to him. Jason didn't resist, just trembled and cried silently into the fabric of Billy's shirt as his love gave him the only comfort the could be just being there with him, holding him as long as he needed to be held.
It was late when Jason arrived home. He should have been home right after the tournament, ever since the Murianthias mess he'd been feeling a bit under the weather and had decided to skip the after party.
He had ended up skipping it and, by passing out as he Tommy and Adam got changed, caused them to miss it as well. He had felt dizzy as he pulled on a shirt and then woke up to find himself on the med. table in the Power Chamber.
As soon as they realized he was awake his teammates had lectured him, run every available test they had on him and then lectured him again.
Finally, they concluded that his exertions on the island while under Maligore's spell had been too much for his still recovering system and then he'd gone and competed in the tournament on top of that... He had been sent home with a babysitter and strict instructions to rest.
Tommy had elected himself for the task of staying with Jason and no one had disagreed with him. It was more likely Jason would listen to him anyway, and they all knew he had promised Billy to take care of Jason before leaving for Aquitar
Jason wasn't feeling up to arguing, especially since he knew he'd lose the fight, so he didn't put up a protest when Tommy teleported home with him and forced him to sit down and eat something before crawling into bed. He knew Tommy was staying over, that wasn't up for discussion, but when a warm body slid into bed with him a few hours later, waking him up on the process, he was pretty sure it was not his best friend.
"Welcome home," he murmured sleepily, opening his eyes.
He got a kiss in response and an arm encircled his waist, "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you and... I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner."
"S'okay," Jason managed around a yawn.
"No, it's not. You were sick and I wasn't here again," Billy sighed. "I'm sorry."
"You could do more for me on Triforia trying to reunite the Treys than here. We've talked about that already. This was just a fluke. Don't worry, next time I'm going to be sacrificed to a demon thing as a wedding present I'll let you know first," Jason replied. "They sent me home with a babysitter anyway."
"So I noticed. I think I startled him when I materialized into your kitchen. I'm just glad it wasn't your mother. He made you eat something before putting you to bed, right?" Billy asked.
"Yeah, but he's not nearly as inclined to snuggle as you are," Jason rolled his eyes. "I'm fine, okay? He didn't need to come to make sure I was alright in the first place. I'm perfectly fine or I will be soon enough."
"You keep getting drawn into things like this. It's a fluke that always keeps happening. Rangers, even former ones, don't get any peace if they're still in Angel Grove." He paused for a moment, "I think you and I should go away for awhile, not far, just... I don't know, somewhere where you can actually take it easy."
"Mmm..." Jason replied, snuggling closer to Billy, already half asleep.
Billy smiled indulgently, caressing the stubbled cheek gently, not letting how worried he was by the dark bruises under his lover's eyes or the tired, pinched look he'd developed. He needed to recovery from the almost fatal parting with the Gold Ranger powers, and he wasn't going to get that here, being drawn into Ranger business at every turn.
"Go to sleep, Jase," Billy told him, kissing him gently, grinning as a smile spread over the tired features even as Jason drifted to sleep.
Billy grinned, watching Jason start to swim back to shore. They had been at his uncle's beach house for the past two weeks, using it while the older man was away on business, and Jason was looking healthy again. He didn't seem so dogged by the constant fatigue that had been in all too apparent in Angel Grove, when every few days he'd been drawn into helping the Rangers during a battle, even though they tried to keep him out of it, sapping his strength further.
And Billy... well, he was surprised at how easily he was adjusting to not being a hero, now that he was back home. Jason, with or without Ranger powers, was a hero, it had always been part of him despite the fact he would turn as red as his former uniform and deny it if anyone said anything like that. He didn't need the powers to define himself of his worth. He already knew, had always known, who he was.
Billy had, for so long, counted on the powers to separate himself from the timid boy Jason had had to rescue on the first day they met. Being without them had been scary and had made him feel horribly vulnerable, as if without them he would revert back to the kid who got stuffed into his locker when his friends weren't around to stick up for him.
It was part of the reason he had stayed away after being cured from the aging affects. He had needed to be by himself for awhile, in a new place, to prove to himself he was more than the Blue Ranger. It had sort of worked, he had missed Jason terribly and felt awful knowing the other boy was waiting patiently at home.
Then Tommy had contacted him, frantic himself at the thought of losing his best friend and trying to hide it, to tell him Jason was sick, would die if they couldn't get the Gold powers back to Trey. Billy had wanted to return home immediately, had been consumed with the need to get to Jason, but had listened to reason, in the form of Cestro, instead. He had thrown all his energy into finding a way to reuniting the Treys. Talking with Jason every night had only motivated him more; he could hear his lover's voice getting weaker.
They had pulled it off but just barely. Jason was not going to die, but he had been left weak and shaky from the experience. He would recover, time and rest being the only medicine. Billy had returned as soon as possible, having to oversee all of the tests the Aquitians had insisted on running on Trey to make sure he wouldn't splinter again.
Returning to find Jason was not getting the rest he needed had not been the best homecoming. Tommy hadn't been happy about it either, frustrated because he couldn't protect his best friend as well as he wanted to. He had been the one to suggest it might be a good idea for the two of them to get away from Angel Grove for awhile.
It had been a good idea, Billy decided as Jason returned from his swim. Not only for Jason, who seemed almost himself again physically, but for him too, he felt more... settled than he had since giving up his powers.
Besides, having Jason, still wet from his swim and invitingly sprawled on the beach towel beside him was a very welcome thing indeed.
"I thought you were going to join me?" Jason asked, raising an eyebrow. "And why do you look like a cat who's swallowed a canary?"
"No reason," Billy grinned devilishly, leaning over and quickly covering Jason's lips with his own as the other man opened his mouth to speak. The smile spread when they parted, Jason looking slightly flushed. "At least not yet."