Part Fourteen
I unlocked the door to my old apartment and walked inside.
Alone.
I was right back where I started all those weeks ago before I decided to jump in with both feet and help Harm. I dropped my bag inside the door and without turning on the lights I walked over to the window and stared out at the full moon that was still shining brightly. It seemed as if too much had happened for it all to fit into one moonlit night.
Catherine had actually shown up at the scene shortly after the police did. We answered tons of questions about what had happened, and then she insisted that both Harm and I be taken to the hospital. We'd been whisked away in separate ambulances. Gunny had ridden with me-Catherine with Harm.
And I'd lost track of him after that. I had been examined and was waiting for my release papers when Catherine dropped by my examining room long enough to thank me for a job well done. She also told me that my services as Hannah McIntire would no longer be required.
Harry Baldridge on the other hand was a different story. She chattered on about how they would be pursuing leads that tied Sadiq to organizations from California to Vermont, and how she knew that Harm would want to be involved. I said I wanted to see him-to make sure that he was okay, but she told me that I would have to wait-that they needed to finish doing tests and finish debriefing him. She said I should go on home to DC-that she would tell Harm to contact me before he left again. And with that she was gone.
I sat fuming at Catherine's high handed attitude and waited impatiently for the nurse to bring my release forms. When she finally did I found Gunny waiting outside the room for me.
"I need to see Harm," I stated baldly. I tried not to sound whiney.
"Let's go find him." He tucked me under his arm, and we headed toward the nurse's station. The nice woman behind the desk rummaged through some papers and then informed us that he had been released into the care of Catherine Gale. They had been gone at least twenty minutes.
I suddenly felt too weary to think about what to do next, and I slumped against Gunny's shoulder.
"Let me take you to our apartment," he said. "You're dead on your feet."
I agreed, and when we got there I stripped off my filthy clothes and stepped into the hottest shower I could stand. The water managed to revive me, and when I got out I combed my wet hair, threw on some sweats, and started throwing clothes into a bag. I knew I couldn't stay in that apartment another night. Gunny offered to drive me when I said I was going home, but I smiled and told him no thanks.
"So Gunny, I suppose you'll be taking off for parts unknown?" I suddenly realized how much I was going to miss having him around.
"You know me. As long as Sadiq is out there I need to be in on the hunt." He shrugged and gave me that cute little half smile.
"I know, but promise me you'll be careful."
He opened his arms and I stepped into them fighting the urge to cry. Marines don't cry while they're hugging each other, and I didn't want to embarrass him.
"Bye, Victor," I whispered.
He nudged my face up so I had to look at him, and said, "Bye, Mac. If you ever need anything-" he let the words trail off.
I smiled at this man who had come to mean more and more to me over the years. "I know. And the same goes for you."
Then he kissed me, and it was a little bit more than brotherly, a lot more than inappropriate given our ranks, and just this side of being too forward. Then he turned me around and gave me a push toward the door.
"Semper fi, ma'am"
"Semper fi, Gunny." I didn't look back as I left.
So now I was home, staring out my living room window and trying to decide if anything about my life had really changed. I would be back at JAG. Harm would be off to who knows where. And I would spend my days worrying about him and my nights longing for him.
Except now I had to do all of that knowing that he loved me.
That should have made it better, but in some ways it only made it worse- knowing that we could and should be working on building a life together. At long last-and knowing that once again it was going to be postponed until when? I mean how long was I going to have to wait for the man to make love to me? Until all the bad guys in the world were put away? Until the CIA learned to function without stealing lawyers away from JAG?
Until Harm decided that it was what he wanted the most, too.
I didn't know how many more nights I could take all alone just hoping that he might show up or call. I didn't know if midnight visits on his way to somewhere else were going to be enough anymore. I was tired and being overly dramatic and not thinking straight so I decided that going to bed was my only sensible option. I walked into the dark bedroom and started stripping off my clothes in front of my dresser. My sweatshirt was halfway off when a voice in the darkness stopped me.
"Not that I mind, but before you take off any more clothes, I should warn you that you're not alone."
I yelped and jumped three feet in the air before spinning around to face the bed. The light from the window illuminated his body. He was on his back under the covers with his hands behind his head.
"Harm, what are you doing here?"
He watched as I fumbled to get my shirt back on and said, "Damn! I knew I should have kept my mouth shut."
I stood rooted in place and said carefully, "I thought you had gone with Catherine."
"I let her use her connections to get me out of that hospital. They wanted to keep me overnight." He sat up and the blanket fell to his waist revealing his bare chest.
I kept my distance, but my concern came flooding back. "Your head-are you really alright?"
He touched his eyebrow absentmindedly. "Yeah, I've got a few stitches, but I'm fine." His voice was low and seductive as he patted the bed beside him. "Why are you way over there? Come here, Mac."
I actually took a few steps toward the bed before I caught myself and said, "I don't think so."
He looked surprised and asked. "What's the matter?"
"I'll tell you what's the matter. You're going to pull one of your 'let me hold you until you fall asleep' tricks, and then I'll wake up in the morning and you'll be gone, and I'll still be pure as the driven snow-in a manner of speaking. Well, it's not gonna happen, buddy!"
"Mac-"
What ever excuse he was going to make I didn't want to hear it so I barreled on just so I could make myself clear. "You think you can just waltz in here whenever you want and refuse to make love to me and then be on your merry way chasing terrorist and seducing psychopaths."
He tried to interrupt me again, and he was laughing now which only made me madder.
"I don't want to hear about how you respect me too much or about how it would be unfair to me until your life is settled."
"Mac!" he said loudly. This time he refused to be ignored.
"What?" I glared at him daring him to say something placating.
"I came here with every intention of being unfair to you all night long if you will ever get your butt into this bed."
"You did?" I know I sounded pathetically hopeful.
"I did." He seemed pleased with himself.
"You're not just saying that just to get me over there?"
"I'm not. I promise. Of course, I'm not as young as I used to be so I may have to be unfair and then rest awhile before I can be unfair to you again."
He threw back the covers and I ran to the bed and jumped in the big middle of him. He laughed and rolled me up in his arms before his mouth found mine. Nothing had ever felt so right. His weight swallowed me. The length of his body was measured by how much of mine it could touch. His hands plucked at the inconvenient sweats that I was still wearing and I sat up to take them off.
My sweatshirt was halfway off when his voice stopped me.
"By the way, Mac, I told Catherine that I was quitting."
I pulled the shirt back down, afraid to believe what I was hearing, and asked warily, "What about Sadiq?"
He smoothed the shirt over my tummy and said, "I'm going to let the CIA worry about him. It may be selfish, but I need to come home." He looked up and his eyes were hopeful. "To you."
My smile lit up the whole room as I settled myself back into his arms. "That could be arranged."
"I was hoping you'd say that, but one of the first things we need to work on is teaching you how to take a sweatshirt all the way off."
"Maybe you could take it off for me."
"That could be arranged, too."
I sat up and he reached over and tugged the hem up over my head. The sweatshirt was halfway off when my voice stopped him. "I love you, Harm."
He pulled the shirt back down into place and just looked at me, his eyes filled with wonder. "I love you, too, Mac." Then he grabbed me by the face and kissed me until I was absolutely senseless.
Oh well, we had years to worry about getting me out of that sweatshirt.
The End
I unlocked the door to my old apartment and walked inside.
Alone.
I was right back where I started all those weeks ago before I decided to jump in with both feet and help Harm. I dropped my bag inside the door and without turning on the lights I walked over to the window and stared out at the full moon that was still shining brightly. It seemed as if too much had happened for it all to fit into one moonlit night.
Catherine had actually shown up at the scene shortly after the police did. We answered tons of questions about what had happened, and then she insisted that both Harm and I be taken to the hospital. We'd been whisked away in separate ambulances. Gunny had ridden with me-Catherine with Harm.
And I'd lost track of him after that. I had been examined and was waiting for my release papers when Catherine dropped by my examining room long enough to thank me for a job well done. She also told me that my services as Hannah McIntire would no longer be required.
Harry Baldridge on the other hand was a different story. She chattered on about how they would be pursuing leads that tied Sadiq to organizations from California to Vermont, and how she knew that Harm would want to be involved. I said I wanted to see him-to make sure that he was okay, but she told me that I would have to wait-that they needed to finish doing tests and finish debriefing him. She said I should go on home to DC-that she would tell Harm to contact me before he left again. And with that she was gone.
I sat fuming at Catherine's high handed attitude and waited impatiently for the nurse to bring my release forms. When she finally did I found Gunny waiting outside the room for me.
"I need to see Harm," I stated baldly. I tried not to sound whiney.
"Let's go find him." He tucked me under his arm, and we headed toward the nurse's station. The nice woman behind the desk rummaged through some papers and then informed us that he had been released into the care of Catherine Gale. They had been gone at least twenty minutes.
I suddenly felt too weary to think about what to do next, and I slumped against Gunny's shoulder.
"Let me take you to our apartment," he said. "You're dead on your feet."
I agreed, and when we got there I stripped off my filthy clothes and stepped into the hottest shower I could stand. The water managed to revive me, and when I got out I combed my wet hair, threw on some sweats, and started throwing clothes into a bag. I knew I couldn't stay in that apartment another night. Gunny offered to drive me when I said I was going home, but I smiled and told him no thanks.
"So Gunny, I suppose you'll be taking off for parts unknown?" I suddenly realized how much I was going to miss having him around.
"You know me. As long as Sadiq is out there I need to be in on the hunt." He shrugged and gave me that cute little half smile.
"I know, but promise me you'll be careful."
He opened his arms and I stepped into them fighting the urge to cry. Marines don't cry while they're hugging each other, and I didn't want to embarrass him.
"Bye, Victor," I whispered.
He nudged my face up so I had to look at him, and said, "Bye, Mac. If you ever need anything-" he let the words trail off.
I smiled at this man who had come to mean more and more to me over the years. "I know. And the same goes for you."
Then he kissed me, and it was a little bit more than brotherly, a lot more than inappropriate given our ranks, and just this side of being too forward. Then he turned me around and gave me a push toward the door.
"Semper fi, ma'am"
"Semper fi, Gunny." I didn't look back as I left.
So now I was home, staring out my living room window and trying to decide if anything about my life had really changed. I would be back at JAG. Harm would be off to who knows where. And I would spend my days worrying about him and my nights longing for him.
Except now I had to do all of that knowing that he loved me.
That should have made it better, but in some ways it only made it worse- knowing that we could and should be working on building a life together. At long last-and knowing that once again it was going to be postponed until when? I mean how long was I going to have to wait for the man to make love to me? Until all the bad guys in the world were put away? Until the CIA learned to function without stealing lawyers away from JAG?
Until Harm decided that it was what he wanted the most, too.
I didn't know how many more nights I could take all alone just hoping that he might show up or call. I didn't know if midnight visits on his way to somewhere else were going to be enough anymore. I was tired and being overly dramatic and not thinking straight so I decided that going to bed was my only sensible option. I walked into the dark bedroom and started stripping off my clothes in front of my dresser. My sweatshirt was halfway off when a voice in the darkness stopped me.
"Not that I mind, but before you take off any more clothes, I should warn you that you're not alone."
I yelped and jumped three feet in the air before spinning around to face the bed. The light from the window illuminated his body. He was on his back under the covers with his hands behind his head.
"Harm, what are you doing here?"
He watched as I fumbled to get my shirt back on and said, "Damn! I knew I should have kept my mouth shut."
I stood rooted in place and said carefully, "I thought you had gone with Catherine."
"I let her use her connections to get me out of that hospital. They wanted to keep me overnight." He sat up and the blanket fell to his waist revealing his bare chest.
I kept my distance, but my concern came flooding back. "Your head-are you really alright?"
He touched his eyebrow absentmindedly. "Yeah, I've got a few stitches, but I'm fine." His voice was low and seductive as he patted the bed beside him. "Why are you way over there? Come here, Mac."
I actually took a few steps toward the bed before I caught myself and said, "I don't think so."
He looked surprised and asked. "What's the matter?"
"I'll tell you what's the matter. You're going to pull one of your 'let me hold you until you fall asleep' tricks, and then I'll wake up in the morning and you'll be gone, and I'll still be pure as the driven snow-in a manner of speaking. Well, it's not gonna happen, buddy!"
"Mac-"
What ever excuse he was going to make I didn't want to hear it so I barreled on just so I could make myself clear. "You think you can just waltz in here whenever you want and refuse to make love to me and then be on your merry way chasing terrorist and seducing psychopaths."
He tried to interrupt me again, and he was laughing now which only made me madder.
"I don't want to hear about how you respect me too much or about how it would be unfair to me until your life is settled."
"Mac!" he said loudly. This time he refused to be ignored.
"What?" I glared at him daring him to say something placating.
"I came here with every intention of being unfair to you all night long if you will ever get your butt into this bed."
"You did?" I know I sounded pathetically hopeful.
"I did." He seemed pleased with himself.
"You're not just saying that just to get me over there?"
"I'm not. I promise. Of course, I'm not as young as I used to be so I may have to be unfair and then rest awhile before I can be unfair to you again."
He threw back the covers and I ran to the bed and jumped in the big middle of him. He laughed and rolled me up in his arms before his mouth found mine. Nothing had ever felt so right. His weight swallowed me. The length of his body was measured by how much of mine it could touch. His hands plucked at the inconvenient sweats that I was still wearing and I sat up to take them off.
My sweatshirt was halfway off when his voice stopped me.
"By the way, Mac, I told Catherine that I was quitting."
I pulled the shirt back down, afraid to believe what I was hearing, and asked warily, "What about Sadiq?"
He smoothed the shirt over my tummy and said, "I'm going to let the CIA worry about him. It may be selfish, but I need to come home." He looked up and his eyes were hopeful. "To you."
My smile lit up the whole room as I settled myself back into his arms. "That could be arranged."
"I was hoping you'd say that, but one of the first things we need to work on is teaching you how to take a sweatshirt all the way off."
"Maybe you could take it off for me."
"That could be arranged, too."
I sat up and he reached over and tugged the hem up over my head. The sweatshirt was halfway off when my voice stopped him. "I love you, Harm."
He pulled the shirt back down into place and just looked at me, his eyes filled with wonder. "I love you, too, Mac." Then he grabbed me by the face and kissed me until I was absolutely senseless.
Oh well, we had years to worry about getting me out of that sweatshirt.
The End