Title: Hotel California
Disclaimer: Don't own, ain't getting paid
Pairing: J/H, E/D
Rating: Pg
Summary: Summer before Season 5. Jackie and Hyde accompany Eric on his quest to get Donna back. AU
Credit: The Eagles – Hotel California
A/N: Okay guys I think this is it. Sorry that it took me so long. I hope this chapter gives enough closure. I wanted to wrap things up for J/H while focusing on E/D, since that is who this fic was supposed to be about. I hope this is okay. I should have finished this two seasons ago.

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On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim.
I had to stop for the night.

There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinkin' to myself
This could be heaven or this could be Hell

Mirrors on the ceiling
The pink champagne on ice
And she said "We are all just prisoners here of our own device"

Last thing I remember I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
"Relax," said the night man, "We are programmed to receive
You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave."

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (such a lovely Place)
Plenty of room at the hotel California
Any time of year you can find it here

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Eric didn't know what the appropriate response to seeing your best friend and the devil kissing on the beach was, so he improvised by pressing his thumbs firmly into his eye sockets until little swirls of color replaced the image.

Behind him Donna gasped.

This snapped Eric out of his pain induced haze and he managed to get the attention of the unholy couple by screaming "My eyes, my eyes!" His newly reacquired girlfriend clung to his arm either to give support or get it, he wasn't sure.

"What the hell?" Donna cried.

Jackie and Hyde merely broke the lip lock and turned to blankly stare in their direction.

Eric noticed they looked more annoyed than guilty or ashamed. He felt his legs go shaky and sat down in the chair Donna pulled up behind him. "It all makes sense now. The hitting and the road trip and the sweaty looks."

"I do not nor have I ever sweat". Jackie defended still leaning heavily into Hyde.

Hyde looked down at her and smiled. "Well there was that especially hot day in the El Camino."

Jackie nodded. "Well you had your hand in my.."

"My Ears my Ears!" Eric screamed, covering them he tried to block out the horror that seemed to be taking over his lovely night. "La La La, I'm not hearing this."

Hyde and Jackie laughed. Hyde put his hand in Jackie's back pocket and pulled her closer.

Eric re-shut his eyes. He cracked one when he heard Donna pass in front of him.

"Are you – have you?

"We have." Jackie answered.

"We are." Hyde said with a little or no hesitation.

Eric felt overwhelmed with new information. He'd obviously missed a lot this summer. His world had fallen apart. Now it was back together. But...what...why...had everyone lost their mind? "Kelso! What is Kelso going to say?"

"Something stupid I'm sure." Jackie offered.

Donna nodded in agreement.

Hyde let go of Jackie and approached the lawn chair where Eric was still frozen in shock. "Eric look sorry to spring this all on you just when you got your own drama restarted. But really it is no big deal. Kelso will deal."

"Kelso will deal with what?" Kelso asked bounding out the sliding glass door after Annette opened it for him.

The four teens turned in unison. Hyde back pedaled until he was standing with Jackie.

Eric tried to think of something to tell Kelso. He felt it was his responsibility as leader of the group to prevent inner strife. But he couldn't think of anything except the Indy 500. Odd, he had obviously sustained some brain damage due to the trauma of witnessing the horror that was Jackie and Hyde. He turned to see if the couple in question was having any better luck.

Hyde put his arm around Jackie's shoulders.

Things seemed to go in slow motion. Jackie smiled and prepared herself for the freak out. Donna closed in to take Eric's hand. Kelso's stare went from blank incomprehension to confused dismay.

"Um... Hyde why do you have your arm around my girlfriend?" Kelso asked snippily.

"She is not your girlfriend." Hyde said just as shortly.

"Well...whatever...why are you touching her?" Kelso attacked.

"Why are you touching Annette?" Jackie challenged.

Eric watched in horror as it all unfolded. He couldn't think of a single Kelso response to that question that wouldn't be bad.

"Duh.. cause I want to do her."

"Michael!" Annette squealed.

Kelso ignored her and you could see a little light bulb go off in his head. "You son of a ..."

Eric jumped in front of him blocking Kelso before he could tackle Hyde. Annette squealed. Hyde pushed Jackie towards Donna.

"Let him go Eric."

Eric shook his head no. He didn't drive all the way across the country to watch his friends kill each other.

"Yeah let me go, Eric." Kelso demanded struggling.

On second thought it wasn't worth the bruises. Eric let go.

Kelso rushed and Hyde easily defended himself. Within minutes the taller boy was on the ground holding his eye and Hyde had him penned. "This is unnecessary Kelso. Why did you have to make me hurt you?"

"You dogged me." Kelso whined.

"You ran away to California. You dogged yourself." Hyde barked.

"You don't even LIKE her." Kelso screamed.

Hyde shifted his weight at the proclamation and Kelso used it to his advantage. He grabbed Hyde's neck in a choke hold and renewed the struggle.

Donna cried "oh my god." Annette squealed again. Jackie gasped pushing Eric and demanding he do something.

Eric wanted to, but he wasn't sure what he could do. Both boys were bigger and madder than him. It was all looking pretty bleak until Jackie pushed him again, this time out of the way.

Jackie approached the blur of wrestling idiots. She lifted her leg and swung it hard into Kelso's naked shin. In her most authoritative voice she growled. "Get off my boyfriend."

The scuffle stopped. Hyde pulled back and Kelso curled into himself holding his injured leg. Hyde got slowly to his feet.

Kelso looked up pouting like a child. "You don't even like her." He repeated meekly.

"I love her." Hyde confessed just as quietly.

The whole group collectively gasped.

Eric waited for the world to explode. This whole thing was just too weird. Everyone seemed afraid to say something first.

In the end, Hyde broke the tension by reaching out a confident hand to Kelso. Jackie smiled encouragingly and Kelso reached up to take it.

Eric sighed heavily. He didn't know what the appropriate response was to one friend stealing another friend's girl when the first friend left the girl to run away to California, so he improvised by taking Donna's hand and leading her to the van.

Donna turned back when they were out of ear shot. "Do you think they are going to be okay?"

Eric smiled unlocking the van door and motioning Donna inside. "They will be."

"What the hell was that all about? I... Jackie and HYDE? I leave town and everyone loses their mind?" Donna climbed in laying down on a conveniently placed blanket.

Eric laughed. "Yeah... Let that be a lesson to you. Don't ever leave me like that again."

Donna didn't laugh. Grabbing Eric by the shirt she pulled him on top of her. "I won't."

Leaning in Eric tried to pour all of his emotions into a single kiss. He had a whole summer's worth saved up. "Donna?"

"Yes?" Donna prompted breathless.

Shifting until the love of his life rested gently in his arms. Eric remembered how happiness felt. "Tomorrow, first thing, if they haven't all killed each other- Let's get everybody and go home. I hate California."