When he opened his eyes again, he blinked in surprise. Kai was gone. A quick look around revealed the main door shutting quietly behind a gently flowing white scarf. Yeah, and maybe cats love water.

***outside***

A lone figure moved with instinctive grace and silence through the lonely streets. The only signs of his passage were the brief glimpses of his form seen when he moved in and out of the dim light cast by the widely placed street lamps. Despite wearing his usual blue cargo pants, black tank, and trailing white scarf, the boy showed no sign that he felt the biting cold of the Russian winter. Kai strode swiftly and assuredly through the deserted streets, to all appearances he moved with purpose. No one watching would have believed that he was actually feeling lost and confused, roaming with no destination in mind.

Below his feet, Kai felt the street gently climbing. When he looked up, he saw a large, stone bridge crossing over a frozen river. The bridge was draped in shadows. Perfect, the shadows will conceal me. And on the bridge, there are only two possible routes for anyone approaching.

Kai moved to the apex of the bridge and leaned against the cold stone balustrade, his crimson eyes drawn to the frozen water below. He whispered softly into the night, "Would it have been better if I had let the ice take me?"

That day on the frozen lake had changed so much in him. He had let the ambitions his Grandfather had carved into him become his only passion, his only reason to live. He had betrayed his team and all the other bladers for the strange pull that he felt from Black Dranzer. It wasn't until he battled against his ex-team that he realized that he wasn't using his passion to battle and win, it was using him. When he lost, he lost more than the bey battle, he lost his connection to Black Dranzer. That sudden emptiness had almost destroyed him. His shock holding him on that cracked ice flow more surely than the cold could. The icy water clawing its way slowly up his body.

And yet, somehow, even after I betrayed them, they still reached out for me. They told me that they wanted me on the team, that they wanted to be my friends.

"Friends…"

Kai's soft murmur held a mixture of confusion and wistfulness to it.

"I never really had true friends before. Except for…" Kai's brilliant crimson eyes darkened as his thoughts started reaching back.

He turned away from the ice below and leaned back against the frozen stones. Before his recent return to the abbey, Kai had had no memories of his past. His life had started the day he crept out of the hold of the cargo ship he had stowed away on. When he had stepped onto shore, he had not known where he was, where he came from, or even who he was. Those first few months had been very hard. He had lived on the street, barely surviving. It hadn't helped that he had not known the language of the strange world he had landed in. Despite all this, Kai had survived. I never really understood how I was able to endure it. Starvation. Exposure. The constant attacks and ambushes of other desperate street kids. Until I had proven my strength and established my own gang, it was an ongoing battle just to survive.

Kai looked down at himself, studying each component of his usual outfit. He had built his appearance after he had established himself on the streets. It was based on two things; first off, to show strength, power, and intimidation, and secondly, to cover the scars that decorated his body. I think it may have been the scars that helped me survive those first few months. I knew that if I had been able to survive them being placed on me, then I could survive anything. They probably even decreased the number of challenges I received on the streets. Most kids backed down after they got a good look at me.