UNREQUITED LOVE...
What is 'Love'?
Chuckle
What IS'Love', anyways?
Even if I've thought it too much, my 'Love Life' wouldn't be like yours.
It is too harsh for me, though it does not look like it.
Too harsh...
I am nice to people who are nice to me.
I am generous to people who are generous to me.
I am lovable to people who are lovable to me.
I do things perfect, like any smart girl should.
I do my homework, I do what grown ups ask me to do, I attend school regularly...
And I get admiration in return.
Many people love me, yes, but is that the 'Love'you want to talk about?
Well, the 'Love'I'm talking about is... LOVE 'Love'.
Like boy-and-girlkind of 'Love'.
And like I told you, it's too harsh for me.
I've wanted to be loved, to love, like boy-and-girl 'Love'but it never happens.
Am I too self-centered?
Am I too bossy, even with the Bladebreakers team and Tyson?
Am I too demanding and loud mouthed?
Is that why?
You are lucky to have a boyfriend or girlfriend if you are reading this.
Even if you don't, I know you'll get one anyways.
But as for me, I want one.
Not just some boy I think is cute and hot, but a boy who is the Right One.
Chuckles
It's stupid.
Would you call liking a lot of cute boys thinking they are the Right One but then they're too idiotic and you were wrong all the time 'Love'?
Is it wrong to love someone who does not know you exist in his life even if you've been standing right in front of him for years?
Is it wrong to fall in love with someone who hates you and thinks you're just a 'Queen of Big Mouth' or'Bossy Loud Mouth'?
Is it wrong to love someone and then realize that you can never have them?
Well...
Is it?
I just don't know anymore, this 'Love'.
I've yearned for it too much and too long that I don't know if I should stop because he will never see me, hear me, talk to me, love me...
Crisis, who'll know what my future will hold?
He's the only one I've liked for so many years.
He's the only one that can get rid of these difficult emotions I have.
But in those years, we are a pain in the ass sometimes, that's what Rei and Kai thinks.
Max thought we were cute fighting together and Kenny just types away in his computer thingy ignoring us.
Maybe it has always been me who starts the fight.
He doesn't know because I am worried about him.
He doesn't know that those shrieking yells and loud advises are what makes me forget what I feel about him and starts a fight so that I will forget that I ever liked him.
And if he knows, I am dead meat.
I have never played with those Beyblades.
They are just for kids.
But we, Tyson and Rei and Max and Kai and Kenny and me, are now sixteen and they are still playing those idiotic games.
What is it with those Beyblades?
Rei had told me once that when Tyson is battling against someone, he can somehow connect to what he call it 'Bit-Beast' thingy.
And once I have seen him battle, I realize that Rei is right.
Tyson was just a food-craving, idiotic moron, and whiny boy when he is not playing the game.
But when he plays it, he is serious, confident, and sometimes stubborn—no wait—alwaysstubborn, and will think of a plan quickly if there is none.
And all I can say is that he is actually smart.
And I laugh to myself.
Tyson? Him? Smart?
Laughs
And when he first ever hugs me after he has won a battle and I had cheered him on, I become scared.
Lately, I am confident of myself.
But this thing he was doing to me, hugging me, I feel suddenly queasy and my heart pounds loudly and I starts to sweat.
And after that hug, I could tell that he wants to talk to me, maybe thank me because I had cheered him all the way, which I usually did but this time more positive.
But I am too scared, too dumb to act what I should do.
I am blushing, something I never did often in front of him.
And so... I turn around to ignore him and starts talking to my friend.
And I ignore him.
He is looking at me, with hesitation in his face.
I feel extremely horrible, more horrible than ever.
But I ignored him...
...ignored him...
And then...
He walks away.
My heart is crunched up into a smashed up Beyblade.
I will never forgive myself.
But I know he will forget about it, anyways, forget that I ever ignored him.
Forget that he ever hugged me.
No... I hope he doesn't forget about that hug.
And then the next day will be like any other days like yesterday.
I know he doesn't like me, such cruel unrequited love I'm feeling.
I turn my head a few moments he had walked away.
He is surrounded by his teammates, saying 'way to go, Tyson' and 'that was a nice kick!' when I should be saying that.
I feel rueful.
I am just one of those girls...
Pleasing but...
Ignored.
So I walk away to the sunset with hands behind my back, staring at the sad gold sky.
Maybe I'll get my chances with him...
Someday...
Right now,
I am hopeless...