Title: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 9 FINAL
Author: Rhasa
Rating Pg-13
Category: Angst
Disclaimer: No money being made. Not my characters. Used without permission with no infringement intended.
Feedback: would be greatly appreciated [email protected]
Summary: Without giving too much away, this is the final chapter.
Author Notes: at end
Missing Parts: All parts can be found at fanfiction.net
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea part 9 FINAL
By Rhasa
"You're leaving?" A voice asked from the doorway.
Alec didn't bother to turn around. The hairs on the back on his neck had stood up earlier, his senses alerting him to her prescience. He'd expected that she would come after him, but he had hoped to be gone by now. There was no way he could bring himself to face her, not right now. Not after he had found her at Logan's apartment twenty minutes earlier.
"Can't get much past you, can I, Max?" he said with bitter sarcasm, as he stuffed a few more things into his duffle bag.
"Why?"
He chuckled under his breathe. Was she that clueless? Of course not. "Why am I leaving? I thought that would have been obvious by now, Max," he spat.
"I said I was sorry, Alec," she stated bluntly as she moved further into the room.
He stopped his packing, straightened up, but still refused to look at her. "You think that's gonna cut it? An 'I'm sorry, Alec'? You honestly thought that the next time you 'ran' into me, that a simple, "I'm sorry, Alec, sorry for what we've done, sorry for running out on you, sorry for messing with your head, sorry for running back to Logan first chance I got', would do it?"
"I did not run back to Logan first chance I got," she said to his back.
"No. I guess not," he snarled as his anger spun him around so he could accuse her to her face. "You had the decency to wait, oh a good eight hours after you left my bed, before doing that."
"Don't do this," she said softly.
He paused for a moment, the tears he saw in her eyes quenching his fury the tinniest bit. "Do what, tell the truth?" he quizzed her.
"Don't be like this."
"Like what? Angry? Sorry, Max. You don't get to tell me how to feel," he said as he resumed his packing.
"That's not what I'm doing," she said.
"Isn't it?"
"I don't want you to go." Her words made him pull up short if only for a second.
"Logan guessed you'd do this," he shook his head, in bemusement as he absently, took a gun from the waistband of his jeans and shoved in into the bag.
"Do what?"
"Beg me to stay."
"I'm not begging."
"Well that's good, Max, 'cause I'm not staying."
"I'm not begging, Alec, but that doesn't mean that I still don't want you to go," she said as she reached out and placed a hand on his arm.
He reacted as if her touch burned and pulled away sharply. "I don't think what you 'want' should factor into this anymore, Max."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"What you 'want' always somehow seems to spell trouble for me. It's time to do what I want for a change."
"And leaving is what you want?" She yelled.
"Yes," he spat back.
"I don't believe you."
"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Max."
"I know you."
"No, Max, you don't"
"Yes I do. I know you don't want to leave Seattle."
"Yeah well, that's where you're wrong, absolutely, totally and utterly wrong."
"No, I'm not. I know you better than you think. You try and put on this show for everyone, but I see right through it, Alec. I know you. I know how you think, how you feel. I've felt how you feel. You moving inside me, caressing me, loving me, cherishing me. That was you 'feeling'.You can't deny that. It was plain as day. I know you don't want to leave Seattle."
"And they call me arrogant."
"Well they call you a lot of things," she tried to quip.
"You're still wrong. I don't give a damn about Seattle. Leaving. Staying. It doesn't matter. It's not the city that keeps me here."
"I know. And for that I'm sorry."
"Just another one of the many many things you're sorry for, hey Max?"
"I don't know how many times I can say it, Alec," she offered, looking downwards.
"Well keep going. Don't let me stop you from apologising; but just know, that no matter how many times you say those words, they'll never be enough," he turned away and placed his back next to the door before returning to his dresser.
"I never meant to hurt you."
"So you said, back in Logan's apartment," he said dismissively.
"It's true. I didn't think-"
"You didn't think, period," he spun and pointed an accusing finger at her.
"You're right. I didn't think. But maybe that's because I didn't really want to," she said a little softer.
Alec looked up at her.
"Maybe Logan's idea gave me the perfect excuse not to think, but just to feel..That's all I really wanted, Alec. In all honesty, all I really wanted was to feel what it would be like..just to feel what it would be like.. to be with you."
"Max-"
"And before you go off and yell at me for how selfish that was, then yes, I'll agree it was selfish and ill-conceived and wrong for so many many different reasons, and yes, it meant taking advantage of you, perhaps just to satisfy my curiosity and lust and maybe it was on a whim but..you have to believe me, when I say, that I didn't mean to hurt you."
He stared at her, before softly saying, "I do. But that doesn't change the fact that you did."
"I know," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes again.
Without realising it, Alec took a step towards her. "I told you, that I couldn't have you and then live without you. You promised me, Max," he said in a hurt tone. "You promised me that when I woke you'd be there."
"I know," she swallowed. His boyish voice tearing at her heart. "I screwed up. For once it was me. Please, don't go Alec. I couldn't stand it if you left."
"I couldn't stand it if I stayed," he said looking down. "To know that you are with him. It was hard enough before, Max. But to see you two together now-"
"You won't."
"What?" he met her eyes again.
"You won't see us togther. You didn't give me a chance to explain. You left Logan's apartment so quickly-"
"I wasn't going to stand around while Logan gloated-"
"He wasn't. He won't be. I went there to tell him we're through. For real this time."
"What? You broke it off with him?"
"Yeah, I broke it off with him. I needed to tell him. I knew after you and I...after we.. when I woke up... I needed to tell him straight away. I wanted everything cleared between us. I wanted it over."
"But I spent a day looking for you."
"I know. I lost my nerve. I'm sorry. But I had a lot to figure out. My heart was saying one thing and my brain another. I had to think." She inwardly begged him to understand, to imagine what it was that she had gone through in those few torturous hours.
"I thought.. I didn't want to believe that you might have gone back to him," his voice choked.
"I only went back to tell him it was over. I had to try to make him understand."
Alec pinned her with a look. "Does he? Understand, I mean."
"He's a man. Of course he doesn't understand. I tried to tell him that he doesn't love me. I thought he did, but the way this whole thing started.. His suggestion that I sleep with you during my heat. That wasn't him loving me. That was him trying to 'possess' me, bind me to him. Deep down, inside, I think I'm another conquest for Logan Cale. Another battle to win. You were right. He hates you, by the way."
"Nothing new there."
"Guess not," Max tried smiling a little.
"So you sleep with me once and finally, everything becomes crystal clear to you?" He asked, eager to understand just what it was that had led her back to here.
"Not everything. Just some things. I know now that Logan was testing me. But I guess I was also testing myself.. seeing if I could 'feel' for another.. seeing if it felt anywhere near right with someone other than Logan.. seeing if it felt right with you."
Alec shuffled his feet. "And did it?" He asked both dreading and eagerly anticipating her answer.
"Yeah, it did," she said softly with a small smile.
Alec smiled back. "So, ummhm", he nervously cleared his throat. "What now?"
"I won't lie to you Alec," Max told him. "I don't know what is going to happen between you and me. I told you before I can't guarantee anything. Life doesn't work like that. I do know I won't be going back to Logan. But as to what will happen between us.. well, if you're still interested I guess you're going to have to stick around to find out."
Alec looked nervously at his feet again. "But you would like to explore whatever this thing is between us a little further, right?"
Max smiled. She loved the fact that despite has macho image he still felt unsure of himself from time to time. "Right. But slow. We have to go slow. I think it would be better that way."
"Right. Slow," he nodded, absently as he absorbed her words.
"So you'll stay?" She asked him after a moment as she walked towards him.
"I'm all packed," he said.
"I'll help you unpack," she offered as she reached his side.
"I've already told the super there's a spare apartment available in this block," he teased.
"I'll help you look for another place," she told him, as she wound her arms around his neck.
"Well then, I guess I might be convinced to stay, at least for a little while longer," he said as he bent his head and kissed her gently.
His kiss was soft and sweet and hesitant and Max loved him for it. He felt utter relief at holding her in his arms again. His nose nuzzled her hair and she moulded herself against his chest and smiled. He pulled back ever so slightly to catch the corner of her mouth turn upwards and his chest ached. God how he loved this woman.
Max watched him as he watched her. "Screw slow. I'm a girl who likes to go fast," she said as she reached for his lips again, this time with hunger and passion, and a ferocity that suddenly tore right through them both
"Good. Because that's how it's going to be with me, Max.," he said after a few minutes.
"I know," she smiled.
"Poor Logan never stood a chance." He said as he kissed her once more.
THE END
Author's Note:
Well I hope you enjoyed this little journey. I know many out there will be flaming me for how I resolved this little drama between these characters. In my little DA universe, Max didn't just sleep with Alec and suddenly fall head over heels with him. It was more Logan's actions and reactions that pushed her away. Maybe it was what Logan secretly wanted - for Max to be happy... (there's a thought). Nevertheless, the attraction to Alec was already there. It seems natural to me that these two would want to explore that attraction further. As to how they'll go... Well, I'll leave that up to you.
To those who have inquired about my mother, she is finally out of hospital, thank you. Her accident is what was preventing me from updating for so long and I thank you for your patience and understanding.
Now that this little series is finished I fully intend returning to my other DA series : Today 'They' Won the Battle which is on fanfiction.net.
In closing, I would still like to hear from people, what you thought etc. please please drop me a line or review. My inbox is really empty at the moment. All the best and happy holidays.
Til next time
Rhasa
Author: Rhasa
Rating Pg-13
Category: Angst
Disclaimer: No money being made. Not my characters. Used without permission with no infringement intended.
Feedback: would be greatly appreciated [email protected]
Summary: Without giving too much away, this is the final chapter.
Author Notes: at end
Missing Parts: All parts can be found at fanfiction.net
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea part 9 FINAL
By Rhasa
"You're leaving?" A voice asked from the doorway.
Alec didn't bother to turn around. The hairs on the back on his neck had stood up earlier, his senses alerting him to her prescience. He'd expected that she would come after him, but he had hoped to be gone by now. There was no way he could bring himself to face her, not right now. Not after he had found her at Logan's apartment twenty minutes earlier.
"Can't get much past you, can I, Max?" he said with bitter sarcasm, as he stuffed a few more things into his duffle bag.
"Why?"
He chuckled under his breathe. Was she that clueless? Of course not. "Why am I leaving? I thought that would have been obvious by now, Max," he spat.
"I said I was sorry, Alec," she stated bluntly as she moved further into the room.
He stopped his packing, straightened up, but still refused to look at her. "You think that's gonna cut it? An 'I'm sorry, Alec'? You honestly thought that the next time you 'ran' into me, that a simple, "I'm sorry, Alec, sorry for what we've done, sorry for running out on you, sorry for messing with your head, sorry for running back to Logan first chance I got', would do it?"
"I did not run back to Logan first chance I got," she said to his back.
"No. I guess not," he snarled as his anger spun him around so he could accuse her to her face. "You had the decency to wait, oh a good eight hours after you left my bed, before doing that."
"Don't do this," she said softly.
He paused for a moment, the tears he saw in her eyes quenching his fury the tinniest bit. "Do what, tell the truth?" he quizzed her.
"Don't be like this."
"Like what? Angry? Sorry, Max. You don't get to tell me how to feel," he said as he resumed his packing.
"That's not what I'm doing," she said.
"Isn't it?"
"I don't want you to go." Her words made him pull up short if only for a second.
"Logan guessed you'd do this," he shook his head, in bemusement as he absently, took a gun from the waistband of his jeans and shoved in into the bag.
"Do what?"
"Beg me to stay."
"I'm not begging."
"Well that's good, Max, 'cause I'm not staying."
"I'm not begging, Alec, but that doesn't mean that I still don't want you to go," she said as she reached out and placed a hand on his arm.
He reacted as if her touch burned and pulled away sharply. "I don't think what you 'want' should factor into this anymore, Max."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"What you 'want' always somehow seems to spell trouble for me. It's time to do what I want for a change."
"And leaving is what you want?" She yelled.
"Yes," he spat back.
"I don't believe you."
"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Max."
"I know you."
"No, Max, you don't"
"Yes I do. I know you don't want to leave Seattle."
"Yeah well, that's where you're wrong, absolutely, totally and utterly wrong."
"No, I'm not. I know you better than you think. You try and put on this show for everyone, but I see right through it, Alec. I know you. I know how you think, how you feel. I've felt how you feel. You moving inside me, caressing me, loving me, cherishing me. That was you 'feeling'.You can't deny that. It was plain as day. I know you don't want to leave Seattle."
"And they call me arrogant."
"Well they call you a lot of things," she tried to quip.
"You're still wrong. I don't give a damn about Seattle. Leaving. Staying. It doesn't matter. It's not the city that keeps me here."
"I know. And for that I'm sorry."
"Just another one of the many many things you're sorry for, hey Max?"
"I don't know how many times I can say it, Alec," she offered, looking downwards.
"Well keep going. Don't let me stop you from apologising; but just know, that no matter how many times you say those words, they'll never be enough," he turned away and placed his back next to the door before returning to his dresser.
"I never meant to hurt you."
"So you said, back in Logan's apartment," he said dismissively.
"It's true. I didn't think-"
"You didn't think, period," he spun and pointed an accusing finger at her.
"You're right. I didn't think. But maybe that's because I didn't really want to," she said a little softer.
Alec looked up at her.
"Maybe Logan's idea gave me the perfect excuse not to think, but just to feel..That's all I really wanted, Alec. In all honesty, all I really wanted was to feel what it would be like..just to feel what it would be like.. to be with you."
"Max-"
"And before you go off and yell at me for how selfish that was, then yes, I'll agree it was selfish and ill-conceived and wrong for so many many different reasons, and yes, it meant taking advantage of you, perhaps just to satisfy my curiosity and lust and maybe it was on a whim but..you have to believe me, when I say, that I didn't mean to hurt you."
He stared at her, before softly saying, "I do. But that doesn't change the fact that you did."
"I know," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes again.
Without realising it, Alec took a step towards her. "I told you, that I couldn't have you and then live without you. You promised me, Max," he said in a hurt tone. "You promised me that when I woke you'd be there."
"I know," she swallowed. His boyish voice tearing at her heart. "I screwed up. For once it was me. Please, don't go Alec. I couldn't stand it if you left."
"I couldn't stand it if I stayed," he said looking down. "To know that you are with him. It was hard enough before, Max. But to see you two together now-"
"You won't."
"What?" he met her eyes again.
"You won't see us togther. You didn't give me a chance to explain. You left Logan's apartment so quickly-"
"I wasn't going to stand around while Logan gloated-"
"He wasn't. He won't be. I went there to tell him we're through. For real this time."
"What? You broke it off with him?"
"Yeah, I broke it off with him. I needed to tell him. I knew after you and I...after we.. when I woke up... I needed to tell him straight away. I wanted everything cleared between us. I wanted it over."
"But I spent a day looking for you."
"I know. I lost my nerve. I'm sorry. But I had a lot to figure out. My heart was saying one thing and my brain another. I had to think." She inwardly begged him to understand, to imagine what it was that she had gone through in those few torturous hours.
"I thought.. I didn't want to believe that you might have gone back to him," his voice choked.
"I only went back to tell him it was over. I had to try to make him understand."
Alec pinned her with a look. "Does he? Understand, I mean."
"He's a man. Of course he doesn't understand. I tried to tell him that he doesn't love me. I thought he did, but the way this whole thing started.. His suggestion that I sleep with you during my heat. That wasn't him loving me. That was him trying to 'possess' me, bind me to him. Deep down, inside, I think I'm another conquest for Logan Cale. Another battle to win. You were right. He hates you, by the way."
"Nothing new there."
"Guess not," Max tried smiling a little.
"So you sleep with me once and finally, everything becomes crystal clear to you?" He asked, eager to understand just what it was that had led her back to here.
"Not everything. Just some things. I know now that Logan was testing me. But I guess I was also testing myself.. seeing if I could 'feel' for another.. seeing if it felt anywhere near right with someone other than Logan.. seeing if it felt right with you."
Alec shuffled his feet. "And did it?" He asked both dreading and eagerly anticipating her answer.
"Yeah, it did," she said softly with a small smile.
Alec smiled back. "So, ummhm", he nervously cleared his throat. "What now?"
"I won't lie to you Alec," Max told him. "I don't know what is going to happen between you and me. I told you before I can't guarantee anything. Life doesn't work like that. I do know I won't be going back to Logan. But as to what will happen between us.. well, if you're still interested I guess you're going to have to stick around to find out."
Alec looked nervously at his feet again. "But you would like to explore whatever this thing is between us a little further, right?"
Max smiled. She loved the fact that despite has macho image he still felt unsure of himself from time to time. "Right. But slow. We have to go slow. I think it would be better that way."
"Right. Slow," he nodded, absently as he absorbed her words.
"So you'll stay?" She asked him after a moment as she walked towards him.
"I'm all packed," he said.
"I'll help you unpack," she offered as she reached his side.
"I've already told the super there's a spare apartment available in this block," he teased.
"I'll help you look for another place," she told him, as she wound her arms around his neck.
"Well then, I guess I might be convinced to stay, at least for a little while longer," he said as he bent his head and kissed her gently.
His kiss was soft and sweet and hesitant and Max loved him for it. He felt utter relief at holding her in his arms again. His nose nuzzled her hair and she moulded herself against his chest and smiled. He pulled back ever so slightly to catch the corner of her mouth turn upwards and his chest ached. God how he loved this woman.
Max watched him as he watched her. "Screw slow. I'm a girl who likes to go fast," she said as she reached for his lips again, this time with hunger and passion, and a ferocity that suddenly tore right through them both
"Good. Because that's how it's going to be with me, Max.," he said after a few minutes.
"I know," she smiled.
"Poor Logan never stood a chance." He said as he kissed her once more.
THE END
Author's Note:
Well I hope you enjoyed this little journey. I know many out there will be flaming me for how I resolved this little drama between these characters. In my little DA universe, Max didn't just sleep with Alec and suddenly fall head over heels with him. It was more Logan's actions and reactions that pushed her away. Maybe it was what Logan secretly wanted - for Max to be happy... (there's a thought). Nevertheless, the attraction to Alec was already there. It seems natural to me that these two would want to explore that attraction further. As to how they'll go... Well, I'll leave that up to you.
To those who have inquired about my mother, she is finally out of hospital, thank you. Her accident is what was preventing me from updating for so long and I thank you for your patience and understanding.
Now that this little series is finished I fully intend returning to my other DA series : Today 'They' Won the Battle which is on fanfiction.net.
In closing, I would still like to hear from people, what you thought etc. please please drop me a line or review. My inbox is really empty at the moment. All the best and happy holidays.
Til next time
Rhasa