Disclaimer:  We do not own HP or Labyrinth.  We just love them and we abuse our insanity on them.  Thus spawned Random Acts of Insanity.

Author: Lenora and Always Hopeful as always.

Rating: PG-13 for 'Bloody Hell'

A/N: Now really we are insane.  Because this fic has Labyrinth, Harry Potter, and Little Shop of Horrors references in it.  If and when you need clarification, please email me and I'll try and give you a little insight to our twisted brains.

Random Acts of Insanity

Or

An insight into two twisted minds.

"I love you Jareth," smiled Crystal.

"And I love you too, darling," smiled Jareth.

"Sing me my song please," begged Crystal.

"Oh alright," smiled Jareth.  He got up from the dinner table, poised himself to sing "As the World Falls Down," and was interrupted by the doorbell.

"Blasted doorbell!" growled Jareth.  He raced to the door since he had given the servants the night off.  Once he opened the door, his heart sank.

"Hello Ja-a-a-reth!" came a devious voice.  It was Lucius Malfoy with his son Draco.

"Hello Ma-a-alfoy!" smiled Jareth.  "Come in."  Lucius and Draco walked in, followed by Severus Snape.

"Jareth," said Snape in his deep voice.

"Snape!" Jareth felt his skin crawl.

"It's Drape!" cried Crystal.  She ran to Draco, hugged him, and then ran to Snape.

"Drape?" asked Jareth, confused.

"Never mind," said Crystal.  The doorbell rang again.

"Bloody Hell!" cried Jareth.

"Have you been talking to Weasley again?" Draco asked as he and his father studied the living room.  The door opened.

"Malya!" exclaimed Crystal. 

"Hi!" Malya replied.  She looked from Draco to Snape and smiled.  "It's Snaco!"  She headed for Snape first.  He ran around the living room, trying to escape Malya's grasp.  Finally, Crystal grabbed Malya from the shirt, restraining her as best she could.

"Malya dude!  You're not supposed to be in this story."  Malya turned on her.

"But-but, I loff him," she said, pointing to a now breathless Professor Snape. 

"No you don't!" growled Crystal.

"I loff him," she said, now pointing to Draco.

"What about me?" Oliver Wood walked into the castle.

"What now?" complained Jareth.

"Olie!" smiled Malya.  Malya ran up to Wood and hugged him.

"Fine, fine!" growled Jareth.  "You two, bug off."

"As long as I have my Olie!" smiled Malya.  They both walked off toward the labyrinth.  No sooner had they left than a bludger came soaring through the sky and began chasing Wood and Malya.

"In the house!" exclaimed Malya.  Wood stopped right in front of the door and caught the bludger.  He fell back and wriggled on the floor.

"Touchdown!" exclaimed Crystal happily.

"Um… Jareth?" asked Draco.

"What?" cried Jareth who was near tears because of his night with Crystal.

At that moment Sirius Black and Harry Potter walked up towards the house.  Harry was looking bummed.  Sirius Accioed Crystal's glasses and he put them on.  He turned to Harry and he whipped off the glasses while singing "Suddenly Sirius!"

"Dude," smiled Harry, "you're a great godfather and all, but you need to get a life."

"Plus," smiled Draco, "Dad and I are better singers."

"Are not," growled Sirius.

"Are too!" growled Draco.  He went up to his father and they began singing. 

"Malfoy and Son, please hold.  It's just as the hat foretold."

"Oh please," said Oliver.  "That's stupid."

"Can you do better?" Draco asked, turning on Oliver.  He nodded and cleared his throat.

"Oliver Wood. *snap snap* Oliver Wood *snap snap*  He's really good a Quidditch…"

"ENOUGH!" roared Jareth.  Everyone stopped and stared at him.

"But-but-," protested Crystal, she looked around at the group but they were fading from view.

~*~

Crystal woke up and she looked over at Malya on the bed.  Wow too much sugar and caffeine at the party apparently.  She chuckled and turned over.

She never noticed the white owl watching her from it's perch on Malya's gazebo.  It hooted softly and it took off.

"What a strange dream," Crystal muttered.

~Fin~