Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That

Chapter Eighteen ll Truly HHTHHT

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"SIRIUS!"

Penny, Meddy, Emily and Remus all struggled to hold tightly onto Sirius, who was acting like a bull having a giant pair of red panties waved in front of his face. Except in this situation, those giant pair of red panties was actually Amos Diggory.

"Let--go--of--me!" Sirius grunted, trying to shove the three girls and Remus off him.

"You'll kill him!" Meddy said desperately, "Please Sirius--just think, for once!"

"Lily!" Penny said helplessly, "Help us!"

Lily was standing on the side, staring at Amos. She felt choking anger rising up in her.

He had hurt James.

He had probably killed him.

Furthermore, he had been the thing blocking her from the guy she had always liked, but never realised about.

Sirius had every right to pummel Diggory.

"SIRIUS!" the girls screamed in despair as Sirus broke free from their grip.

"Sirius, stop," Lily said calmly.

Sirius stopped abruptly and looked at her, amazed.

"Thank Merlin," Penny breathed, almost in tears.

Amos shot Lily a shocked yet grateful look.

Lily just glared back at him, "We'll get him some other day, but we should be worrying more about James now. Let's just go to bed and worry about it in the morning. Oh, and you--" Lily spun back around, "--you had better watch your back, 'cause I'm not saving your sorry arse again."

Lily walked off, clearly distressed.

Everyone else stared after her.

"C'mon Sirius," Penny whispered, tugging onto her boyfriend's arm, "Let's go to the Wing and visit James."

"You really suck!" Emily spat at Amos, and balled up her fists, "I'll slug you one day, man. Just watch me you little skeez."

"Em, calm down," Meddy sighed, taking the short girl's arm and steering her away, "We'll all kill him some other day, like Lily said..."

They left a confused Amos by himself in the corridor.

---

That bloody, stupid, reoccuring dream was haunting her again... Lily tossed around in her bed restlessly as she heard James' voice pounding in her mind. All these things he had said, some so small she didn't recall him saying it, were echoing like quotes from a movie trailer.

"You get prettier after every summer. Did you know that, Evans?"

FLASH.

"So you said before... But I'm not out of bounds. You yourself said that the Heads are allowed in there. Surely the Head Boy can find a seat in there, too!"

FLASH.

"Pumpkin, will you go out with me?"

FLASH.

"Aww, do we have to? I rather like what my pumpkin is wearing."

FLASH.

"Evans, stop -- calm down!"

FLASH.

"Pumpi--i--i--in, I taught you the correct wrist movement and you're still doing it wrong!"

FLASH.

"I deserve a kiss now!"

FLASH.

"What about that kiss, then?"

FLASH.

"Patience, my dear Lillian... Curiosity killed the cat."

FLASH.

"I'll pay for it, okay? Geez Louise, lady, it'll be alright!"

FLASH.

"Why, you look especially bea-au-autilful tonight."

FLASH.

"I'm sorry."

FLASH.

"I want to hug you."

FLASH.

Then suddenly, a whole bunch of lines James had said that Lily remembered perfectly well, as they had deep meaning and meant a lot to her. They were said all at once; one sentence starting before the other one had finished.

"How would you know what's right or not? Love could standing right in front of you and you're just ignoring it!"

"You know, even though someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

"I love you, Lily. Why did Amos have to get you first...?"

"But I know deep down you love me, pumpkin. You hurt the ones you love, after all."

But I know deep down you love me.

You hurt the ones you love, after all.

Deep down...

I love you.

I love you, James.

Lily awoke with a start. Her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears.

She knew...

It was still dark, but the sun was starting to rise, casting a blueish glow around the dormitory. Lily wiped away her tears and steadied her breathing. She suddenly felt very cold and pulled her blanket around her tigter.

"I love him..." she whimpered to herself, trembling, "I love James..."

"Lily?" she heard Meddy whisper in the dark.

Lily said nothing as more tears silently poured down. She heard Meddy get out of bed and move towards her. Her bed decreased a few inches as Meddy crawled onto it.

She hugged her tightly, and Lily buried her face in her shoulder and began to sob.

"Shhh," Meddy whispered comfortingly, rubbing her back and caressing her hair gently, "It'll be okay. He'll be okay."

Lily hoped she was right.

---

When morning came, Lily hadn't gotten much sleep. Meddy was sleeping beside Lily, hugging her pillow.

Very quietly, Lily tiptoed out of bed and stumbled in front of her vanity. She stared at her reflection.

How can he think I'm pretty?

Trembling slightly, Lily pulled open her special drawer and took out a notebook with a sky-blue plastic cover. It was her diary from fourth-year. She had filled it up in less than a year.

She opened it up to a specific page that looked oldened from too many times of reading.

21st December, 1974

Dear Diary,

I can't believe it! James Potter asked me out! He didn't even ask me out, he ordered me out! I was just walking with Meddy, Penny and Em, and we were talking about what we wanted for Christmas. Then he pops around the corner with his three friends (Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew) and goes "Evans, go out with me!"

What did I say? "NO WAY!" James Potter is the most arrogant person I have ever met! I would never go out with him! He makes fun of everyone, and pranks the Slytherins like crazy. I admit the pranks are sometimes funny, but enough is enough!

He expects girls to just fall all over him.

Well, not me!

And you'd think my rejection would dampen his pride a little. No way! He just smiled that idiotical smile and said, "Next time, Evans, next time."

Urgh! He infuriates me! He's ruined Christmas altogether!

I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH JAMES POTTER.

Yours Truly,

Lily.

A few silent tears welled up in her eyes. Some trickled down her face and dropped onto her journal page, creating wet splotches. Slowly, Lily lifted the cover of her diary and shut it.

The past didn't matter... did it?

---

After breakfast, they went to visit James at the Hospital Wing. Lily had been quiet all morning and refused to eat anything.

"He looks so... unalive," Remus said with a certain tightness in his voice.

"He's rendered unconscious," Penny whispered.

"Where?" Emily asked, puzzled.

They (excluding Lily) chuckled quietly at her daftness. Then they fell silent and looked at anything but each other.

"Lighten up," Sirius said after a while, trying to sound cheerful, "It's not a funeral."

"It may as well be," Lily spoke up quietly.

That silenced him.

"I'm--I'm going now," Lily said, her voice barely louder than a whisper, "Before, um... Madam Meynon gets shirty with us." She turned away and quickly left the Wing, while her friends glanced at each other before following her.

"If only Prongs were awake," Sirius said sadly, "He'd see how much Lily likes him now."

Remus and Peter nodded mutely.

And at that instant, James' eyes opened.

"Holy crap!" Sirius yelled, springing back.

"Whoa!" Remus exclaimed, stunned.

Peter looked on, his mouth wide open.

James groaned and rubbed his head. He sat up and looked at his friends, a little confused. Then he smiled sheepishly.

"Sup, guys? Why does my head hurt?"

"PRONGS YOU'RE AL-I-I-I-IVE!" Sirius yelled triumphantly, jumping on his best friend and giving him a bear hug.

"Oof, get off me, man!" James exclaimed, though his tone was amused.

Remus grinned at him, utterly relieved, "Suffer from brain damage?"

"Nope," James shook his head.

"Of course," snorted Sirius, "We wouldn't actually be able to tell the difference."

They all laughed.

James looked around the Hospital Wing. Then he bit his lip in a worried fashion.

"Where's Lily?" he asked in a hurtful tone.

Remus and Sirius grinned at each other.

"Don't worry mate, she didn't completely reject you," grinned Sirius, "She was here a minute ago, but she left 'cause she looked a little upset..."

"And don't fly clean into the air, but we think she's really rather... fond of you," Remus chimed in.

James leapt up.

"She does, she does, she does?" James cried, looking absolutely delighted, "I'm going to go see her!"

And he bounded off, still in his hospital gown and all.

"Oooh, Madam Meynon is so going to have his head for that," Sirius grinned affectionately.

---

Lily had managed to escape from her mothering friends, and was by herself in some random corridor. She was staring at a wall, which was not blank, as many walls usually were when you stared at them.

"Hey, pumpkin," said a familiar voice behind her.

Lily spun around, her heart beating rapidly as she dared to think the almost-impossible. But before she could see who it was, the person leant forward and kissed her. His arms curled around her lovingly and she melted right into them.

The kiss was so soft, so gentle and so beautiful, which could only mean...

"James," Lily said softly as he broke off the kiss. Her eyes looked wounded and her tone sounded a bit hurt.

James just bit his lip while staring at the pretty figure in front of him. He at least had had the decency to throw on a robe on top of his hospital gown.

"Did you like that?" he asked timidly.

Lily stared at him closely for a moment, before throwing herself onto him and yelling, "You're an idiot!" She stood on tiptoe and kissed him again.

There was a yell from down the corridor.

"LILY EVANS AND JAMES POTTER ARE GETTING IT ON!"

After three seconds, Lily broke off the kiss. She smiled sweetly at James, before running after Sirius who screamed and tore off in the other direction.

"AHHHHHHHH! PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL, HE-E-E-E-ELP ME-E-E-E-E!"

"Good afternoon, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said smoothly, with a pleasant smile, "Hello, Miss Evans."

"Hi, Professor!" Lily said brightly, while chasing after Sirius. Sirius groaned at the teacher's obvious unattempts to help him and continued running.

As the chase continued, with Sirius begging and Lily snarling, she ran into James again.

"Hello, again," James said bemusedly.

"Hiiiii," Lily said, trying to keep sight of Sirius.

James smiled mischievously and decided to get her attention by kissing her on the cheek.

Bad move--

"THE HEAD BOY AND HEAD GIRL ARE IN LU-U-U-URVE!"

"SIRIUS, SHUT UP!"

Sirius was killed with five Silencing Spells. No, actually, he didn't die. He just couldn't speak for another week.

Which is good.

Lily and James were a nice couple, who were nice to nice people and gave nice points to nice Houses and also held nice Prefect meetings.

Penny and Sirius were also a nice couple. But Sirius was loud and perverted.

Remus was normal. Meddy was normal. Emily was normal.

Peter just stood there.

They remained friends, and went through a whole lot of whacky and random stuff. Craziness, whackyness and randomness are a part of life.

May it live on, to pursue further generations so that the world may never be dull and boring.

THE END.

PS. Lily and her friends had to go through the same process of running down the platform when they caught the Hogwarts Express back home. They were joined by the Marauders, who thought this was a complete waste of time.

PPS. Sirius tripped over a first year.

PPPS. Sirius knocked over a little Muggle girl at King's Cross Station.

PPPPS. Her mother yelled at him for a total of ten minutes.

So, in conclusion, this story did live up to the randomness of its title.

This story is truly Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That.

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A/N: Hehe, I hope you enjoyed that. There will be no bloopers, this story is random enough to be an entire bloopers section itself. I couldn't have a depressing chapter, this story wasn't written to be depressing. Anyways, thank you to EVERYONE for reviewing! Yup, yup :) You're my sunshine, LOL. Keep readin' my stuff, cherie! --MSQ.