Author's Note: Yes they're in Slytherin, yes I have my reasons, yes you can ask me them if you want. No, I don't think they were in Slytherin but I still like the idea so no amount of "by the way James was a Gryffindor" will make me change my mind. Enjoy the story.
For as long as I can remember I've hated our common room, bloody freezing even in summer, even in summer with a fire burning, faintly ridiculous really. It's the walls that are the problem I reckon, hard, bare stone covered with flickering green light. I tried to stick Quidditch pictures up in my first year and then coming in the next day to find they had all been burned. Naturally I haven't tried that again, like everyone here I learned quickly enough that you're supposed to be proud to be Slytherin, proud to be able to wear a tie of emerald and silver, proud to have a common room that looks and smells like the potion's dungeon.
And in a way I am I guess.
When the Sorting Hat whispered into my ear that I'd do well in Slytherin I didn't tell it to sod off, that I belonged in Gryffindor or even more unthinkably Hufflepuff, all I could think was 'Great, I can be with Sirius.'
Sirius is one of things that makes being here bearable. I'm not sure but I think he likes it. Peter does too, you can tell when he whoops extra loudly when I make a great pass or when Sirius forces Snape to sing HMS Pinafore in falsetto. Sometimes I laugh too. Sometimes I'm the one torturing Severus; too much of the time it's my wand pointing at him, my lips curling into a sneer of triumph. Sometimes I hate myself for being who I am.
Not often though.
Not often enough.
Why couldn't it have been bloody Gryffindor?
Remus is the only one apart from myself who seems moderately unhappy with the way the situation played out, even Snape belongs here though he doesn't belong with us. Yer, Remus is very different. I remember thinking back in the first year when the hat called out Slytherin that it had made a terrible mistake in placing this small, blond boy in with the likes of Sirius Black and from Moony's expression as he sat down beside my best friend I could see that he felt it too but was too polite to say so. He hates the common room as well, told me so once, after I came in to find my picture of Laurence Beogr burning ominously [nothing burns merrily here] in the sparkling green flames that first Wednesday morning.
Yes, Remus is certainly different. Perfect Mr. Prefect Sirius calls him; mocks him. As if being a model student and not wanting to turn Snape's hair violet or make him tap dance across our breakfast table is a crime, or a character flaw. Sometimes I hate Sirius for being like me.
The chairs are all fairly vile too, all dark wood and plush green cushions, very old, very valuable, rather ugly and excessively uncomfortable. Pretty much describes my feelings towards our beloved house actually. Sometimes, like now, I wonder why I don't get up; taking the map and march into Dumbledore's office and demand I get another chance with the hat.
"What ya thinking about Jimbo?"
"Hullo Sirius."
But I know really.
The Marauders keep me here.
If they wanted to change houses then I'd move heaven and earth to bring that about but they don't. Not really. Remus might grumble a bit when he's in a bad mood [i.e. Full Moon Week, capitalization and all] but I know he rather enjoys being The Good One, enjoys the way he can shake his head and tell us afterwards that we were incredibly out of line.
"That's not an answer."
"No Padfoot, I know its not."
He sits down in front of my sofa and stares up at me with the puppy dog eyes he must have perfected around the age of two. "Sooooooooooo, what ya thinking Jimbo?"
"You asked me that already."
"But you didn't answer, so I asked again, figured you might have a hearing problem."
I grin. "No Sirius, I don't have a hearing problem. I'm thinking about" ok lying time, "what we can do for our next prank."
This is obviously the right answer because Sirius leaps to his feet and pulls me to mine. "Well that's very fortunate Mr Prongs because I happened to be thinking about exactly the same thing and I think I've got what might just turn out to be the best pranking idea ever."