Disclaimer: We don't own the characters... insert bad joke about Ayamine and Aoki hiring retrieval agents to get back their characters or something.
Notes: Vague allusions to volume 21. Because ouch. Just... ouch.
Wishing On a S
When Ban entered the apartment Paul had hooked them up with, the sight he was greeted with was Ginji sprawled on the couch, one arm draped off the side. The television was on, and it appeared that Ginji had been watching the weather report. Ban shook his head in amusement - Ginji was the one who'd wanted to go out late and see the meteor shower, and here he was dozing off.
Ginji had been on this meteor shower kick since a few days before, when Ban had happened to go outside for some air late at night, and told Ginji the next morning of a shooting star, so bright that he could see it even through all the light of the city. Of course Ginji regretted having missed it... and so Ban had mentioned that the Perseids were going to peak in a few days. After that, well, there wouldn't have been any weaseling out of this trip even if he'd wanted to.
Unless Ginji slept through it, Ban thought - but he'd never forgive Ban for letting him. With that in mind, Ban kicked the couch. "Hey..."
Blinking, Ginji looked up at Ban with a smile. "S'possed to be really clear today and tomorrow, but then rain..."
Ban smirked, and hooked a thumb towards the door. "So let's make the most of it. I just got some gas, we can go out in the country..."
As he remembered suddenly, Ginji grinned. "The Perseus!"
"Close enough," Ban chuckled. "I think we've still got a blanket in the car, too... unless you took it out or gave it to somebody, or something like that." It wouldn't have been out of character for Ginji to do something like that, so he couldn't be too careful.
"No....no, it should be there still..." Climbing to his feet, Ginji fairly bounced to the door. "Let's go!" he exclaimed, as Ban jingled his keys in his hand cheerfully and followed.
Ginji continued to bounce all the way out to the car, sing-songing nonsense. "Perseus pretty stars! Away way up...in the sky...so bright bright bright brightprettyprettystars!~~"
Ban shook his head in amusement again as he got in and turned the ignition. "You can see stars anytime, Ginji - tonight we're going to see meteors."
Ginji fell into his seat, babbling excitedly. "What's a meteor, Ban-chan? Is it like a star?"
"It's a shooting star. You know, really just..." On second thought, he stopped before explaining - letting Ginji in on the secret that something so bright was just a little speck of dust wouldn't be very uplifting. "...the scientific name."
Ginji clasped his hands together and grinned. "A shooting star... and there's going to be a lot of them! Think of how many wishes we can make, Ban-chan!"
Ban laughed as they pulled out into the street. "Better start thinking them up now..."
This seemed to keep Ginji occupied for a little while, as he fell into a thoughtful silence, staring out the window at the sky as if he might see his shooting stars while they were still driving. Ban glanced over again, just after he'd gotten onto the highway, and discovered that it was just as he'd expected - Ginji had fallen asleep again.
Knowing it would be a little while until they arrived, Ginji let the familiarity and movements of the car lull him quickly to sleep. Although he hadn't spoken to Ban about it, the last few nights he had not sleep well at all, and he had the feeling that his friend somehow knew this despite his silence.
This time was no different as sleep plunged Ginji into a world of shadowed dreams, whispers and fragments of memories drifting in and out of focus. The scene finally fixed itself on Ban's face, and dream Ginji was about to breathe a sigh of relief with an unexpected punch from his partner sent him reeling backwards. Horror etched on his face and tears in his eyes, he looked up at Ban from his sprawled position. The words Ban spoke were indiscernible, but the expression, the body language, was impossible not to understand: Get away from me. I don't need you. Dream Ginji was stupefied by this behavior and called out to him, frantic, panicked, crying, to no avail. He was helpless to do anything but watch as the Ban in his dreams walked away, and to Ginji this scene was more torturous than anything he could relive in his past, even becoming Raitei.
The real Ginji twitched slightly in his seat, mumbling Ban's name under his breath, but he did not yet awaken. In the dream, the skies were ash gray, and rain poured down in sheets, plastering his pale blond hair to his forehead as he wept.
After about half an hour's drive, Ban pulled up into a field, just far enough off the highway so that there was no chance that anyone would notice the stopped car right away. Looking over to Ginji, he smiled softly for a moment at his sleeping partner before nudging his shoulder. "That's twice tonight..."
To his surprise, Ginji woke with a start, his eyes going wide and his hands clenching in obvious and uncharacteristic surprise. He used to wake in such a manner, but not recently. After a moment's realization, he gave Ban a brief look of tremendous relief. "Ban-chan..." he murmured. "You... we're... out in the country somewhere?"
The hand on his shoulder squeezed a little more gently, and Ban nodded. "Well, where did you think we were going? Heh..."
Ginji faltered for a moment and then smiled. "I was just... dreaming and... disoriented."
He reached for the door handle and with his tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve, it was obvious that something was not exactly right. Getting out the other side, Ban grabbed the old blanket off the back seat before he closed the door. "Bad dream?" he asked softly, circling the car to Ginji's side.
Ginji nodded slowly in affirmation, but still offered a hint of his smile before turning to look up at the sky. "So... are they everywhere?"
If Ginji was going to drop it, it was just as well that he didn't say anything more either, Ban decided, and shook his head. "Over that way, towards the north." He started walking out into the field, gesturing for Ginji to follow. "C'mon, let's go find a good spot."
Ginji followed along behind him, turning in slow circles to look at the sky. "Ban-chan... it's so much bigger out here without the buildings in the way..."
"Kind of nice to get out where everything's open, huh?"
Ginji nodded and continued to look around in wonder. "I forget sometimes...that the world is so big."
Ban didn't really know what to say to that - they'd been together long enough that sometimes he forgot that Ginji had spent most of his life confined to just the Infinite Castle. Feeling awkward, he paused, and paced the ground around them to see if it was even. "I think this'll be good..." he decided, pulling the blanket out from under his arm.
With a grin, Ginji bounced lightly from one foot to the other. "Do you need my help?"
"Just spread this thing out..." Ban instructed him, tossing a side of the blanket to Ginji as he started to unfold it.
Grabbing hold of the blanket, Ginji sank down to spread it on the grass. "It even feels cooler out here than in the city..." he pondered. "Why is that?"
Ban shrugged as he smoothed his half of the blanket out and sat down. "I guess we get the wind... never thought about it that much."
"Oh..." Ginji sat down beside Ban, resting his elbows on his legs. "So... uh... which way is north?"
"That way." Ban grinned, and pointed off into the wilderness.
Ginji squinted at the sky where Ban had indicated for a moment. "Okay... I don't see anything..."
Leaning back, Ban pillowed his head on his arms. "Just because it's a meteor shower, it doesn't mean they'll be going nonstop," he explained. "Even tonight, at its peak, you'll probably see one every minute or so. It's still a lot more than you'd see on an ordinary night."
Following Ban's lead, Ginji leaned back on the blanket as well, staring intently at the sky. "I think I know what I'm gonna wish for if I see one..."
"Yeah...?" Ban inquired, glancing curiously at him for a moment.
Ginji pretended to look offended. "I can't tell you..."
Ban laughed. "Of course not..." With a contented sigh, he settled back further. "Well... whatever it takes for it to come true."
Rolling onto his side, Ginji gave Ban a puzzled look. "But... you don't even know what I wished for..."
"Wished...?" Ban stared up into the sky, frowning slightly. "What, did I miss one already?"
"Oh...I meant... if I see one..." Ginji went back to peering at the sky impatiently.
Ban kept watching as well, and was rewarded only a few seconds later by a small streak, gone almost before he realized it was there. About to say something, he found that Ginji had turned to look at him with a small pout. "Are you sure they're really up there?"
Ban couldn't help smirking. "You just missed one."
Flailing his arms out in frustration, Ginji quickly turned to look back at the sky again. "How? How did I miss it?"
"They're fast!" Ban chuckled. "You have to keep watching, especially if you ever want to get your wish."
Ginji bit his lip and looked very worried for a moment. "It's... a very important wish..." he mumbled, continuing to study the sky intently, waiting.
"Well, I'd give you some warning," Ban said with a shrug, "but there really isn't any. You just have to keep your eyes open."
Ginji nodded slightly, his eyes still fixed on the sky. They waited in silence for a bit longer, and just as Ginji was about to complain again, a streak of light caught his eye and he gasped. "There!" He pointed, forgetting all about the wishing part. "I saw one!"
Ban nodded, pleased by Ginji's apparent delight. "Pretty nice, huh?"
After a thoughtful hmm, Ginji suddenly gaped. "I forgot to make my wish! Is it too late?"
"Uh..." Ban chuckled, not sure how to answer the unexpected question. "I dunno. You're the one who believes in that..."
Ginji looked over at Ban again, even more worried than before. "You don't...?"
Ban shook his head. "Seems to me like if you want something, it's better to just work at getting it yourself instead of sitting back and hoping it'll fall into your lap." He hesitated for a moment. "...And you just missed another one."
With a dejected sigh, Ginji pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "Oh... well then... then maybe what I wish won't come true if you don't believe too."
Ban looked over at him, slightly puzzled. "What...? Whatever you're thinking about, it's not like I don't want you to be happy... I just think it's a better idea not to rely on things with no real logical basis, right? But I'll still help you out if I can," he added.
"No, it's... it's nothing like that," Ginji tried to explain. "It wasn't a wish for... for pizza... or... or anything real that you can hold in your hands."
"You can work towards non-material things too..." Ban told him with a shrug, "...unless they're the impossible." The thought brought up unpleasant thoughts - wishes he might have made if he believed in such things, and he shook his head slightly, turning his attention back up to the sky. "Eh... anyway, going to keep watching or not?"
Ginji sighed, not answering, and went back to looking at the sky.
There was no way, he thought, that he could tell Ban that his only real wish was that they'd always be together... and it worried him that if Ban didn't believe in wishes, then maybe things would turn out like his dream, and someday they wouldn't be.
Ban stole a sideways glance at him, noticing the obvious uneasiness, and gently extended one arm behind Ginji. "Something you want pretty bad, huh?"
Accepting the comfort, Ginji let go of his knees, letting them drop back down again as he scooted closer to lie down by Ban, resting his head on Ban's arm. "Yeah... yeah, I guess there is. It's... not very much, I guess, by anyone else's standards...but... but it's everything to me."
Ban just nodded slowly, having a few ideas. Instead of voicing them, he reached into his pocket for his cigarettes.
Ginji continued to watch the sky silently, but his eyes held a vague expression and his mind was really elsewhere, replaying snippets of the dream he'd had in the car. Ban's attention was half on Ginji, half on the northern sky as he lit his cigarette with one hand, the other still supporting Ginji casually. He took a long drag, then lets his hand drop to his side. "...Hey, there went another," he commented as another streak of light flashed across the sky.
Ginji nodded, smiling slightly. "It's really pretty..."
His eyes abandoning the skies for the moment, Ban let them flicker over to Ginji. "You're not going to tell me?" he asked.
Ginji glanced over at Ban again in confusion. "Tell you what, Ban-chan?"
"Whatever you want that bad."
"I...well..." Ginji shook his head slightly. "I thought if you gave a wish away, it wouldn't come true...?"
"Only if you believe that's the case." Ban took another drag off his cigarette, and looked over at Ginji seriously. "If you think what you believe in and wish for makes a difference, it seems like maybe you could just not believe in the part where something would make your wish not come true, and it would be how it worked... or something like that," he finished, staring up at the sky again. "I never bothered trying to make sense out of that stuff."
Ginji hummed thoughtfully. "I used to wish on stars when I was a kid... I guess it's hard to break a habit. I'm not so good about reasoning things out like you, Ban-chan..." he admitted, "but maybe you're right. Maybe as long as I believe in it myself, wishing on stars doesn't matter so much..."
Ban nodded and smiled. "I wasn't saying you shouldn't, really... just have some faith in your own power to make things come true too."
Ginji smiled back and then snuggled into Ban's side; he didn't really need to watch the stars anymore. "Ban-chan..." he began, "I hope... I hope it'll always be just like this."
Ban's smile widened, and he tightened his arm around Ginji. "What... that wasn't your wish, was it?"
Turning his face so that it was almost hidden, pressed against Ban, Ginji nodded slightly. "Yeah... mostly..."
Ban chuckled. "You don't need any stars to wish on for that, you know..."
This time, Ginji's grin was true. "I just... have to believe it, right?"
Ban nodded. "Believe in us," he told Ginji. "Believe in yourself, and the S in Get Backers."
Ginji reached out to run a finger over Ban's cheek as if he were something very fragile and precious. "Always, Ban-chan..." he murmured. "Because of you I know I'm never alone..."