I smile running a hand through Dutchy's soft hair, feeling the strands separate and fall back as my fingers reach the end. I grin, holding the longish hair back as I lean in and lightly kiss his ear.

Dutchy turned his head away from my lips. "Is that a good idea?" He signed huffily.

I sigh "They're gone" I say softly "Its okay" I know he's still mad at me for not joining the GSA.

"They might come home" he signs flippantly. Rolling his eyes.

I sigh, leaning in and kissing him gently "Please, lets just enjoy this." I sign kissing him, and pushing him lightly down on the couch. Laying over him. My hands supporting me on either side of his head. We have no way to communicate.

He pushes me away. "No" he signs "I need a break"

I pull back, shock evident in my face. "WHAT?"

"S-P-E-C-S" he finger spells my name, slowly. He's trying to figure out what he's going to say. I've used the same tactic with him, my mother, my father, my teachers. I taught it to him.

"Just Tell me!" I snap, nothing can be worse then this waiting.

"I love you" he signs "I just can't deal with the duality of the relationship I want to be able to express how I feel with you, I want to kiss you and not worry about the news going back to your parents. I want to touch your face and grab your ass. I want the troubles of a relationship, I want the joys of a relationship. I want all that. I want you. I want to be with you"

I gulp watching as his hands slow down after the last sign, falling to his sides. I want them to tell me something else. He's an incredible romantic, and I know that speech is from his heart. I sigh. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be honest!" He says gently. I realize suddenly that neither of us have made up nicknames for each other, we have been content to simply use the signs for "Spectacles" and "Dutch".

Dutchy leans forward and kisses me. "This isn't break up. This is just me sorting this out."

He stands up, leaving me sitting on the couch. I look up at him as he glances back at me, through blonde hair that has fallen into his eyes. Hair that I had moments ago been playing with.

"L-O-V-E Y-O-U" I sign Spelling it out to keep him here longer.

"Love you too" He says it as he signs it. I can read the words on his lips. He used to laugh and repeat them on my neck as we kissed. Now I can see those days might be limited.

I look up into his eyes, sighing as he breaks the eye contact, blue eyes moving to the path a head of him from my own chocolate brown eyes.

I gulp back tears and only let them go when he has left. My parents come home to see me cuddled into a pillow and watching late night TV

Author's notes: Okay this isn't the end. They aren't broken up. Next Chapter, much mush!

Cards on: Moulin Rouge: PRETTY!