Harry Potter and the Fortune Cookies of Doom

Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?

Disclaimer: JK owns it all. I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet…and my computer, too. HA!

READ THIS! READ THIS! READ ALL OF THIS!

Sorry I've taken so long to update, guys. I mean, when I first wrote this story, I promised myself that I wouldn't be one of those people who took months to update…but I'm one of them now, aren't I? I guess with summer and all my team activities going on, it was unavoidable. I think four, five months is enough of a wait, don't you?

With that said, I want to apologize again. I did end up having some writer's block for this story and none of my other stories were really updated for a while as well because writer's block really brings you down! My God! I mean, really. Come on.

And I have a question. After you all read this chapter and have reviewed (I hope you do!) look back at my first few chapters and tell me if I should revise them. Cause I know that a few weeks ago I looked at them and was like 'WOAH'! I had no idea they were that bad. I mean, the general ideas of them weren't, but the way they were written…I'm surprised I didn't get more flames.

So PLEASE help me out on that one. With all your support and criticism, I just could finally get this story DONE!

::..::

"Hermione, I feel funny." Harry put his hand to his scar. Hermione gave him a worried look.

"Does your scar hurt, Harry?" She asked him gently. He shook his head.

"No. It's just…hmm. I don't really know. It doesn't hurt, but it does feel odd…like I'm spinning around or something. You know how you feel when you've just got done from traveling by Floo Powder? Like that."

Hermione frowned. She wondered about going to Ron about this, but when she thought about it, she reasoned that he wouldn't know anymore than she did. Ron never knew any more than she did, she thought with slight pride.

"Maybe it's just nerves, Harry. I mean, I know I'm nervous today!" She gulped remembering Sirius' little fact about her upcoming Muggle Studies class. "I really don't wanna get married!"

"Hermione, chances are that we won't be here too much longer." Harry said, brushing off her anxiety. He rubbed his scar and frowned again. "That was weird…" Hermione lifted her drooped head.

"What is it, Harry?" She asked worriedly. She mentally smacked herself. Harry was obviously going through major problems and all she was worried about was a stupid class!

"My God, this is weird." Harry said, sighing. "It feels really strange. Like how I feel whenever Voldemort is near…"

"Is he nearby?" Hermione asked, seriously creeped out. "Is he angry or anything?"

"No, he can't be nearby…it just feels like there's two of me around here or something…it's probably nothing big, Hermione. Don't get upset or anything." He gave her a reassuring smile. Hermione smiled back, satisfied with his answer but still couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right. It was only Hermione's unique nature to be overly suspicious. That's why she headed to the Library.

Harry watched Hermione leave and sighed, absentmindedly touching his scar. He had been totally lying to Hermione. He did feel something stranger than usual. It really did feel like Voldemort was near. Not near, but…here. Maybe it was just the seventies Voldemort…that thought made Harry's head spin. Was the seventies Voldemort stronger or weaker than HIS Voldemort? He didn't even want to think of what the consequences of meeting him would mean.

Harry guessed that the seventies Voldemort probably wouldn't give Harry the time of day, noting the given year. James and Lily hadn't even left Hogwarts yet, so they most definitely weren't of age to join the Order. That meant that Voldemort wouldn't even know who Lily and James Potter were. He sighed. He was safe.

But he froze. How long would it be before Professor Trelawny made that prophesy…the one that started the whole mess? He thought back to what Dumbledore had revealed to him…

'…On a cold, wet night, sixteen years ago, in a room above the bar at the Hog's Head Inn…"

That was in 1995, so Dumbledore obviously meant around the time of 1979. Harry's heart sank. It was already 1976. What if they were stuck here for longer than necessary? What if he was still here by 1981? What if Dumbledore forced him to join the Order? What if Voldemort figured out that he was currently in the seventies and went after him? What if-

'Harry, you're getting ahead of yourself', he told himself assuringly. He was sure that he would not be in this decade for five years, Dumbledore would never force him to join the Order of the Phoenix, and if all else failed, he was still Harry Porter and Voldemort shouldn't even want to give him the time of day.

::..::

"Hermione…"

"Yes, Sirius?" Asked Hermione patiently, scribbling down a note for they're Muggle Studies class. They were in the Library getting some last-minute research done. At least, Hermione was. Sirius happened to follow her there. He had sat down casually next to her. She was getting rather irritated because he was distracting her from concentrating on the very important assignment. "Make it quick this time."

"I was only wondering if you were going to sit here all day."

"Why's that?"

"Muggle Studies started five minutes ago." He said, leaning into his chair. Hermione gasped and gathered up her supplies in shock. As she started for the door her quill fell and when she reached down to grab it, all of her books and papers fell next to it. Sirius kneeled down next to her and helped her carry her books.

"If I'm so late, then why are you here?" She asked breathlessly, stacking everything up and hurrying down the hall, pausing to give a small smile to Madame Pince, was just about to tell them off for running in the Library.

"I like to make an entrance." He said, taking the rest of her books and slowing his pace. Hermione was practically in agony at the way he happened to walk as if there wasn't any class going on. "What's this?" He reached to the top of a pile of papers and read some of it out loud:

"When using a Time Turner, there are common instances where the user can be in the same time AT the same time, due to going back in time by only a few hours, minutes, days, etc. However, time turners can also transport people back to a time before their birth, resulting in a normal feeling. The user should not feel the effects of the 'same time-at the same time' rule unless they are in the past longer than they should-"

"Give me that!" Hermione snatched the paper from Sirius and folded it up. She tucked it into her robes, muttering something that sounded like 'nosy'. Sirius smirked, but couldn't help thinking about that paper. He decided that he'd mention it to James if he had time. He raised his eyebrow at Hermione. "It's…it's a project! For Harry." She stuttered.

"Right." Sirius handed her papers back to her and opened the door to Muggle Studies. Everyone looked up from their desks, and the professor looked at them extremely agitated. Hermione had never been late for a class in her life and immediately assumed that she'd have detention.

"Mr. Black, you are late again, I see," The professor said icily, reminding Hermione of Snape. "and…Miss Granger, wasn't it? Yes, well, seeing as the rest of the class it partnered up already, you will just have to have each other." He smirked and turned to the class. Hermione felt sick.

"Attention, students, may I introduce you to the new Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black!" The classroom practically shook with laughter and claps. Hermione's embarrassment could not compare with Sirius' grin.

::..::

"Ron, Harry, get over here!" Hermione said frantically. Ron and Harry looked up from their lunch and watched as Hermione entered the Great Hall. "Can we go to our dorms?" She pleaded. "Sirius…well…oh my…you see…" Sirius bounded into the room looking happier than he had in years. He brandished a ring in mid-air and placed it on Hermione's finger. Ron seethed. Harry gaped. Hermione looked down at the huge diamond ring as if it were some kind of poisonous object.

"Introducing Mrs. Black." Sirius announced jauntily. Hermione reddened.

"Sirius, may we speak with Hermione for a moment?" Ron asked, making a fist under the table. Sirius reluctantly let go of Hermione.

"See you later!" He called as they hurried out of the Great Hall. The threesome ran up to their private dorms. When Hermione was sure no one was looking, she ran up to Harry and Ron's room, locking the door behind her. She pulled the paper from her robes and made Harry read it. Ron sat on his bed, confused.

"What are you trying to prove?" Harry asked as he folded the paper up. "What does this have to do with anything?"

Hermione sighed impatiently (come on, you know the one!), "Harry, have you been born in this decade?" Harry shook his head. "You see, there should only be one of you in this time. When I was using my time turner in third year, I know I had the feeling that there was more of me, because I only went back in time by a couple of hours. Do you follow me so far?" He nodded, but Ron was still slightly lost, because he had never used a time turner before. "You mentioned that you felt like there was two of you, remember?"

"Yes, but I don't understand…oh, wait." Harry widened his eyes. Hermione nodded. Ron sat up straight.

"What?" He asked, annoyed that he didn't understand.

"Ron, who is the one person who I have a mental connection with, who I can feel their emotions and fears?" Ron didn't have to say it.

"Are you sure?"

Harry looked at Hermione.

"It's really up to how you feel Harry." She said, looking at him with narrowed eyes. Harry took in a deep breath.

"Voldemort is in the seventies." He said, bowing his head. He shot it back up. "Wait. There's already a Voldemort in this time. Wouldn't I have felt a connection to him a while ago?"

"No, Harry." Hermione said. "You haven't been born yet, so Voldemort hasn't given you that scar yet. That's why you didn't feel any kind of power from him. But are you sure that you feel some from OUR Voldemort?" Harry sat next to Ron and pinched his nose to relieve him of his pounding headache. "Harry?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Right. Guys, I feel tired now." He said suddenly. Hermione frowned. Ron looked at him curiously. "I'm fine." Harry said irritably, laying back into his pillow. "Just let me think for a bit. Ron, wake me up for afternoon classes."

"…there aren't any." Ron said, staring at him weirdly. Harry shut his eyes.

"Oh, good. In that case, wake me up for dinner. Night."

"…night." Ron said, getting off the bed. Harry had sure gotten moody awfully fast. "C'mon Hermione." Ron ushered Hermione out of the room, shutting the door smartly behind him.

Inside their room, Harry sank into his pillow. Voldemort was in the seventies. But why? Was he that determined to be rid of him? He was certain of one thing though: He was going to be prepared for him if he showed up. He grabbed his wand from the nightstand. He'd be ready.

::..::

Dramatic pause

OH, how I love doing that to my stories. Once again, FORGIVE me and please check out my other chapters to see if I should revise them. I REALLY need the help. Really. You don't want me to take that long to update again, right? Of course, I won't, but it would be nice to clean the story up a bit.

Cheerio. And remember…

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