Harry Potter and the Fortune Cookies of Doom
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all. . . I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
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"Ron, slow down! We're not going to be late!"
"Ron listen to Harry! Stop now before you can't do anything about it!"
"NEVER! I'm LATE!"
"You never cared before!"
Ron stopped. This was true. But tonight was a special occasion. God, he should have never eaten that extra cockroach cluster. Sugar messed him up.
Harry and Hermione ran up to Ron, apparently out of breath, and glared at him. "You have issues!" Hermione said, huffing and puffing still. "For Merlin's sake Ron, its only CHINESE FOOD!"
*Mmm. Chinese Food* Ron thought hungrily. "Ron, honestly, just walk like a normal person down to dinner with us instead of running like a bloody horse from Hell." Harry said, red in the face. Ron, had an advantage in running between the three of them, for he was slightly taller than the sixteen year old Harry, as he stood at 6'0 in height, and had naturally long legs. Harry was about 5'8 and still was gigantic to Hermione, who was by far the shortest at 5'6.
Running a hand through her tangled, bushy brown hair, Hermione glanced around nervously. "Oh, what?" asked Ron in an exasperated tone.
"Did any teachers see us running like that?" she asked, twisting her hair around. "I mean, we were being sort of loud. . ."
"Hermione, no one saw us," Harry assured her. "If they had, they would have told us off by - "
" - Weasly, Granger, Potter! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!" Professor Snape barked.
"Damn."
"And another five points for use of explicit language, Mr. Weasly!"
Ron glowered at Snape as he disappeared into the Great Hall. "What a git." Harry said, staring after him.
"I agree." Hermione nodded. "But now I'm starving and don't really care about house points (Ron and Harry gasped upon hearing this). Let's eat!" The boys followed Hermione into the Great Hall and took seats next to Ginny Weasly and Colin Creevy (much to Harry's dismay) at the Gryffindor table. They saw the Slytherins sneering at them across the Hall and returned it with equal looks. Draco Malfoy, a blonde Slytherin looked a bit happier than usual, and smirked at Harry every time their eyes met.
"Malfoy looks a tad over-excited." Ginny said, waiting for some food to appear on her plate.
"Wonder what he's up to." Ron said, examining his fork in the light. "Who cares?" Harry said as some food appeared onto his plate. Ron squealed with delight and attacked an egg roll so ferociously that poor Colin feared for his safety. Bits of food sprayed onto Hermione's plate and she swatted them away, scowling.
"Ron, please!" she said making a face. "That's gross. Act civilized in public at least." He looked up at her with a mouth full of egg and noodles and gave her these adorable puppy eyes. This caused everyone to break out laughing at Ron which in turn made him snort food into Colin's hair. *This* in turn made everyone howl with laughter, except for Colin, who was trying to pry the partially eaten food off his head.
After everyone had a good laugh, the food disappeared and everyone stared in wonder as Dumbledore clapped his hands loudly, and fortune cookies appeared in little glass bowls on every house table.
"Oh wow!" Harry said, reaching for one. "I remember these. They carry fortunes in them, right?"
"Yeah Harry, only these are Wizarding Fortune Cookies." Ron said importantly.
"What's the difference?" Hermione asked, while observing one. "They look like ordinary muggle fortune cookies to me."
"There's the catch, Hermione. They look like ordinary muggle fortune cookies to YOU. You've obviously never had one of these before."
"Oh REALLY?" Hermione said hotly. "Please fill me in then. What is so special about these?"
"Well, It's almost the same, really." Ginny piped up, opening one. "You open one, it reads your fortune to you, then. . .turns into something."
"Like what?" Colin asked curiously.
"It can be anything." Ron answered. "Fireworks, flowers, a rotting skull. . .it's a surprise."
"Here, watch." Ginny cracked open a cookie and it floated in front of her face unraveling a piece of parchment from inside it. "THERE IS LOVE IN THE NEAR FUTURE" said a windy voice. "IT IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE AS WELL. . .STAY ALERT." Then it transfigured into a broomstick figurine.
Ginny giggled as she glanced over at Harry, who was cracking open his own cookie. His cookie opened up and a clear voice said:
"TIME IS WASTING. . .LOOK TO THE SOUTH, LOOK TO WEST, BUT THIS IS A PUZZLE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS. POISE TO THE EAST, GLANCE TO THE NORTH, LISTEN TO THE WIND AS IT CALLS YOU FORTH".
In a single movement, Harry turned his head and saw Ron and Hermione had the exact same fortunes.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Hermione asked Ron nervously.
"I don't know." Ron admitted. "I didn't think that any fortunes were ever alike!" As they glanced around at each other anxiously, they noticed that one another was fading. Eyes widening, they grabbed everything to hold themselves in place, but their hands seem to go through it all. And in one brilliant flash of light, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasly, and Hermione Granger disappeared completely, with nothing left except their fortune cookies, which had all turned into identical plastic time-turners.
Across the hall, Draco watched the scene from the shadows. He had no idea how far in the past he sent them to, but he figured that they deserved it, wherever (or WHENever) they were in time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
YAY! First chapter all done! *pats self on back* I'm so proud of myself! Please Read and Review this IS my first fanfiction so I really want nice, CONSTRUCTIVE feedback *glares at evil haters*
Summary: Harry Potter and friends, Ron and Hermione open a fortune cookie at dinner and are thrown back in time to the years of the Marauders! What chaos will they go through? And will Voldemort EVER find his golden toilet?
Disclaimer: JK owns it all. . . I only own the magical Fortune Cookies and the Golden Toilet.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ron, slow down! We're not going to be late!"
"Ron listen to Harry! Stop now before you can't do anything about it!"
"NEVER! I'm LATE!"
"You never cared before!"
Ron stopped. This was true. But tonight was a special occasion. God, he should have never eaten that extra cockroach cluster. Sugar messed him up.
Harry and Hermione ran up to Ron, apparently out of breath, and glared at him. "You have issues!" Hermione said, huffing and puffing still. "For Merlin's sake Ron, its only CHINESE FOOD!"
*Mmm. Chinese Food* Ron thought hungrily. "Ron, honestly, just walk like a normal person down to dinner with us instead of running like a bloody horse from Hell." Harry said, red in the face. Ron, had an advantage in running between the three of them, for he was slightly taller than the sixteen year old Harry, as he stood at 6'0 in height, and had naturally long legs. Harry was about 5'8 and still was gigantic to Hermione, who was by far the shortest at 5'6.
Running a hand through her tangled, bushy brown hair, Hermione glanced around nervously. "Oh, what?" asked Ron in an exasperated tone.
"Did any teachers see us running like that?" she asked, twisting her hair around. "I mean, we were being sort of loud. . ."
"Hermione, no one saw us," Harry assured her. "If they had, they would have told us off by - "
" - Weasly, Granger, Potter! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!" Professor Snape barked.
"Damn."
"And another five points for use of explicit language, Mr. Weasly!"
Ron glowered at Snape as he disappeared into the Great Hall. "What a git." Harry said, staring after him.
"I agree." Hermione nodded. "But now I'm starving and don't really care about house points (Ron and Harry gasped upon hearing this). Let's eat!" The boys followed Hermione into the Great Hall and took seats next to Ginny Weasly and Colin Creevy (much to Harry's dismay) at the Gryffindor table. They saw the Slytherins sneering at them across the Hall and returned it with equal looks. Draco Malfoy, a blonde Slytherin looked a bit happier than usual, and smirked at Harry every time their eyes met.
"Malfoy looks a tad over-excited." Ginny said, waiting for some food to appear on her plate.
"Wonder what he's up to." Ron said, examining his fork in the light. "Who cares?" Harry said as some food appeared onto his plate. Ron squealed with delight and attacked an egg roll so ferociously that poor Colin feared for his safety. Bits of food sprayed onto Hermione's plate and she swatted them away, scowling.
"Ron, please!" she said making a face. "That's gross. Act civilized in public at least." He looked up at her with a mouth full of egg and noodles and gave her these adorable puppy eyes. This caused everyone to break out laughing at Ron which in turn made him snort food into Colin's hair. *This* in turn made everyone howl with laughter, except for Colin, who was trying to pry the partially eaten food off his head.
After everyone had a good laugh, the food disappeared and everyone stared in wonder as Dumbledore clapped his hands loudly, and fortune cookies appeared in little glass bowls on every house table.
"Oh wow!" Harry said, reaching for one. "I remember these. They carry fortunes in them, right?"
"Yeah Harry, only these are Wizarding Fortune Cookies." Ron said importantly.
"What's the difference?" Hermione asked, while observing one. "They look like ordinary muggle fortune cookies to me."
"There's the catch, Hermione. They look like ordinary muggle fortune cookies to YOU. You've obviously never had one of these before."
"Oh REALLY?" Hermione said hotly. "Please fill me in then. What is so special about these?"
"Well, It's almost the same, really." Ginny piped up, opening one. "You open one, it reads your fortune to you, then. . .turns into something."
"Like what?" Colin asked curiously.
"It can be anything." Ron answered. "Fireworks, flowers, a rotting skull. . .it's a surprise."
"Here, watch." Ginny cracked open a cookie and it floated in front of her face unraveling a piece of parchment from inside it. "THERE IS LOVE IN THE NEAR FUTURE" said a windy voice. "IT IS RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE AS WELL. . .STAY ALERT." Then it transfigured into a broomstick figurine.
Ginny giggled as she glanced over at Harry, who was cracking open his own cookie. His cookie opened up and a clear voice said:
"TIME IS WASTING. . .LOOK TO THE SOUTH, LOOK TO WEST, BUT THIS IS A PUZZLE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS. POISE TO THE EAST, GLANCE TO THE NORTH, LISTEN TO THE WIND AS IT CALLS YOU FORTH".
In a single movement, Harry turned his head and saw Ron and Hermione had the exact same fortunes.
"Is that supposed to happen?" Hermione asked Ron nervously.
"I don't know." Ron admitted. "I didn't think that any fortunes were ever alike!" As they glanced around at each other anxiously, they noticed that one another was fading. Eyes widening, they grabbed everything to hold themselves in place, but their hands seem to go through it all. And in one brilliant flash of light, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasly, and Hermione Granger disappeared completely, with nothing left except their fortune cookies, which had all turned into identical plastic time-turners.
Across the hall, Draco watched the scene from the shadows. He had no idea how far in the past he sent them to, but he figured that they deserved it, wherever (or WHENever) they were in time.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
YAY! First chapter all done! *pats self on back* I'm so proud of myself! Please Read and Review this IS my first fanfiction so I really want nice, CONSTRUCTIVE feedback *glares at evil haters*