DISCLAIMER: I've written over 50 disclaimers. . .you'd think after all that effort they'd just give me the Animorph out of pity already?

NOTE: Alright, Freak Apple is back, ready to annoy and confuse! **rubs hands together** Okay, first off, this story, like all my other stories, takes place between Animorphs #30-34. Cause in #35 Marco's dad gets remarried and we can't have that. . .yet. Actually think of this as missing book #34 ½. And as you can see, I didn't title my story yet. After 2 failed attempts at titling my other fics, I've learned now that I SUCK at it. So if you have any ideas as we go along, feel free to tell me. Well, if you dare, read on!

Marco –

I picked up the strange orange flower and held it up. Fire shot from it, searing the enemy in front of me. I watched it's health dwindle. The creature writhed in pain, unable to escape the flames. It would be over soon. Then I would be able to lift him in the air and be the winner. The glorious winner.

"Marco, what the hell you're cheating!" Jake yelled at me, frantically mashing the buttons on my Gamecube controller.

"You're the one who wanted all items available." I said, making my character, Link, throw aside the fireflower and grab Jake's Starfox. I flung him off the platform and he zoomed off the screen.

"Crap." Jake muttered.

"I told you StarFox sucks." I reminded him. "Link can kick anyone's butt."

"Shut up."

It was a Friday night and unusually, I didn't have a date. Okay, so I didn't have one last week either. Or the week before that. Or every week I could remember, for that matter. Jake and I were sitting on a popcorn-littered carpet playing Super Smash Bros on my new Gamecube, which Jake still thought wasn't as good as Playstation 2. Obviously he did not realize the wonder that is Zelda.

Anyway, we were taking a well-deserved break from fighting a certain body-stealing, slimy, slave-driving slugs bent on conquering Earth. You know them as the yeerks. We know them as big huge pains in all of our asses. "We" being six kids with death wishes. You know the deal, so why bother with the details, right?

I continued to wreak havoc on Jake's self-esteem by repeatedly beating him down with my superior gaming abilities.

"Give up yet?" I asked, enjoying the look on his face as I tossed him off screen once again.

"When Cassie eats beef." Jake muttered. He chose StarFox as his character again. The boy never learns.

My dad walked in, hair shiny, clean-shaven, and smelling all Calvin-Kleiny. He tentatively rolled up his sleeves.

"What do you think, guys? This still in?" he said, showing us the rolled up sleeves. They revealed excessive arm hair. I looked at Jake and he shook his head.

"Nope. Leave them down." I told him. "Unless you want her to know her to know you're really a balding gorilla." Jake laughed.

"Balding, huh? Just remember you got my genes, pal." Dad rolled his sleeves back down and proceeded to put on his fancy jacket.

"Don't remind me." I pretended to scowl. My dad and I joke around a lot. Last year he was still moping around after my mom's supposed death and life got difficult for me. But a couple months ago he got his act together and started working again. Now he was a pretty respectable computer engineer and he moved us into a nice house closer to Jake's neighborhood. He also re-entered the dating scene, with my blessing.

"You have a date tonight or something?" Jake asked, his eyes still fixated on the TV screen.

"Yup. How bout you guys. You just sitting in for the night?"

"Looks like it." I said.

"Oh come on. Marco, I thought you had my genes." Dad laughed and began his search for the ever-elusive car keys.

"Yeah, what's up with that. My old man gets the ladies and I just get Jake."

Jake made a face. He promptly picked up the Megaton hammer and flailed it around, KO'ing my Link.

"Hey!"

"Pay attention, girl-repeller." Jake smirked.

Dad recovered his keys and straightened his shirt again. "Well, see you guys later. Don't let me find lipstick on the glasses and some girl's underwear under the sofa cushions when I get back." He warned half-jokingly.

"So who's the lady?" I asked, making a bomb and aiming right for StarFox's head.

"Oh she's really nice. Pretty. Blond. Gorgeous. Smart, she's a lawyer. Funny. Quick-witted. Did I mention gorgeous? She's what you kids call 'one hot chica.'" He said with a grin. This lady reminded me of Rachel, Jake's cousin and our resident Amazon warrior. "I'm taking her to the cineplex downtown."

"Hot chica, huh?" I said, succeeding in killing Jake again. "Does this hot chica have a name?"

"Naomi." He said on his way out. "Later guys! My cell is on, and remember I'm at the cineplex if you really need me."

"Be back by midnight, or you're grounded!" I called back. I heard the lock click and the car backed out of the driveway.

I returned my full attention to the game and threw a mine directly at the stationary StarFox. It blew him away.

"Hey Jake, that was too easy. What's up?" I turned to him.

He was staring at the door in shock.

"NAOMI!? Blond lawyer? NAOMI!?" Jake sputtered, as if that word combination meant something to me.

"Dude, what have you been smoking?"

"Marco, Naomi is Rachel's mom. My Aunt Naomi. Idiot."

I froze. My tongue suddenly got thick in my mouth. Jake saw this as a perfect oppurtunity to grab a ray gun and shoot me off the screen.

"No way." I managed to say. I still couldn't move.

The doorbell rang. I ignored it, still reeling over what my dad was doing to me, and all the horrible things that could result. Jake got up and answered the door. Soon he returned with a friend, Erek the Chee. Erek was a good guy, but every word out of his holographic mouth usually had me screaming in fear a couple hours later.

"Hi. Marco?" he asked.

"Rachel's mom. . .?" I mumbled increduously. Erek looked at me curiously.

"He's just had a bit of a shock." Jake explained with a snicker. He found this funny.

"Oh. Okay then I have some news. I met with Cassie already and her parents are out. We should all meet at the barn." He announced. Then he turned on his way to leave. I heard him whisper to Jake "Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine. Trust me, it'll get infinitely worse when we meet Rachel."

- - -

"WHAT!?" Rachel raged. She glared at me like a hungry dragon. :This is YOUR fault!"

"Me!? What did I do!?"

We were all gathered in Cassie's barn for our little briefing with Erek. Rachel's sisters, Jordan and Sara, were in Cassie's living room because there was no one to baby-sit them while Rachel was here and their mom was, well, out. Everyone seemed to think our little situation was pretty funny. Cassie was stifling giggles as she shoved a pill up a hawk's rear. Tobias watched and winced in imagined pain from the rafters. Jake had his arms crossed and was facing the door, but I could see his shoulders bobbing in silent laughter. Ax just stood in his awkward human form looking confused. Rachel was pacing in front of me, raving.

"My mom said she was going out with some studly computer engineer!" Rachel said in disbelief.

"Hey, for your information my dad is almost as hot as I am." I said.

Tobias decided to join in the fun. Hey, maybe if they get married Rachel and Marco would be -

"STOP!" I cried.

"Tobias, if you continue that thought I will personally pluck you." Rachel threatened.

Cassie snorted and Tobias laughed.

"I do not see the problem. Both Rachel's mother and Marco's father lack mates, correct?" Ax asked, clearly not understanding the situation.

Even if it's not blood, they're gonna be related. And they might have to live together, Ax. Tobias explained.

"Ah, that may cause a problem. Muh. Muh."

The thought had not occurered to me. Living with Rachel. I had just been worried about my dad and being RELATED to Rachel.

"They might want us to live together!" I croaked.

"We'd have to. . .spend time with each other." Rachel added with a hint of fear in her voice.. We both cringed as if someone had pinched us really hard. Jake and Cassie lost it and they started to cackle loudly. Cassie had to lean on Jake's shoulder, lest she fall on the dirty floor and roll around in laughter.

"Um, you guys? We have some issues that we need to talk about." Erek appeared in our doorway looking amused. Jake tried to stop grinning.

"Okay. We're listening. What's going on?"

The Chee were able to pass as controllers, giving us lots of valuable information so that we could plan attacks and rush screaming to our deaths.

"Well we're not sure what it's significance is, but we've just discovered that the new Sherman cineplex downtown is almost all completely operated by the yeerks. Pretty much every employee there is a controller. We suspect nothing good." Erek said.

"Let's go then." Rachel said. "Find out what's going on."

I put my hand over my chest and feigned a heart attack. "Be still my heart. Rachel doesn't want to smash in, guns a-blazing?"

"Well, I suggest something be done quickly, because the Sherman cineplex is making its grand opening in 15 minutes.

"Fifteen minutes!?" Cassie repeated.

"Fifteen."

"Wait, were is this new cineplex you're talking about?" I asked.

"Downtown."

I looked at Jake and he realized it too. "My dad is going there!"

"What? He's supposed to be taking my mom – " slowly it dawned on Rachel. Her eyes narrowed. "Let's go."

She started to morph into an owl.

"We do not have a plan." Ax said.

"Screw the pleeefffff," Rache;'s mouth disappeared, replaced by the short beak of an owl. I'm getting my mom!

"I'm with Xena." I said, starting my own owl morph.

"What about Jordan and Sara?" Cassie said, pointing at the door leading to her house. "There's no one to watch them."

Rachel looked around. Her gaze locked on Erek. He stepped back. "Nooo way, I can't – "

Please Erek. Jordan is still going through her phases so she's going to be pretty moody. She's not allowed to use the phone today. If she gets all smart and sarcastic, ignore her. Keep an eye on Sara at all times. You better hope she takes a nap because she just drank a gallon of Nesquik before we got here. She doesn't eat anything red. If they get hungry just dig in Cassie's cupboard til you find some Mac n Cheese. Jordan's allergic to strawberries, wool, and some air fresheners. Sara's allergic to anything with fur. Keep them both away from glass, anything breakable, anything flammable, anything long and pointed, anything heavy, anything valuable, and any of the animals. You know CPR, the heimlich maneuver, and standard first aid, right?

Erek looked as if he were just asked to act as bait on a shark-fishing boat. I felt sorry for him. What was my dad getting me into?

"I-"

Thanks! Rachel flew out the barn door, headed for downtown. The rest of us had to hustle to catch up with her.

Don't worry, Erek. I babysat for them three times and it was fine. Just keep them away from golf clubs if you value your ankles. Cassie called back.

I saw Erek's holographic face grow pale.

You know, if my dad thinks I'm going to babysit just cause he's dating your mom, he better think again. I told Rachel. Because who knows what that will do to my social life?

What social life? Your daily conversations with the Teletubbies? Jake quipped.

Rachel laughed. Anyway, I wouldn't think you could handle it.

What?

Dude, I almost had my arm ripped open by flying glass because of them. Jake said.

And I couldn't walk for a month after babysitting them. Cassie added.

Jeez, what are they, rottweilers? I asked.

Well they're related to Rachel, what did you think? Tobias joked.

Oh shut up. Rachel said in a warm kind of way that she saved for when talking to Tobias. It made me want to puke.

Aww, Xena doesn't get mad at her lil Birdie-Boy?

Before Rachel could cause me some bodily pain, we found ourselves hovering over the cineplex parking lot. It was packed, but my excellent owl eyes spotted my dad's way too shiny hair.

There they are. I announced. I saw my dad not-so-subtley put an arm around Rachel's mom, who actually was pretty darn hot.

Eww. Run away, mom. Kick him. Rachel urged.

Let the madness begin.

MUAHAHAHA! So true, Marky-O. Let the madness begin! Okay that was chapter 1. . .I had myself a bit of fun like I usually do with first chapters. Next one coming soon, I prom-diddly-omise! Review honestly, 'cause my mommy said lying is bad.