So I was sitting at my computer the other day, working on lord-only-
knows-what, and I thought, you know, there are so many weird, usually
stupid fics out there about people getting sucked into movies, books, etc.
Like that weird one with King Arthur and Whoopie Goldberg. That was on
cable the other night.... anyway. Yeah, so I was like, someone should
write a really good one, with a plot, that makes some kind of sense, for
POTC. *Enter my muse, Elly* Elly: "What an excellent thought, yes, I
agree, someone should. GET WRITING!!!! NOW!!!" Damnation. So here I am,
and here's what I wrote. (with Paul McCartney wailing in the background)
Please R and R!
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Alyssia was not a happy girl. Her aunt- short, plump, and platinum blond -was going to take her to a movie. Ordinarily, this would not have bothered Alyssia, as she loved movies, but, well... last time was still fresh in her mind. She and her eccentric, lime-green wearing aunt had gone to see "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days", quite possibly the most mind-numbing film on the planet. Her aunt, naturally, had loved it, and was quite content to discuss and quote it for hours on end. Alyssia mentally bet herself a new CD that today's outing would be to "Legally Blond Two". Alyssia bet herself a second CD that she would, if she was right, barf into the popcorn container before the first half hour was up.
With the air of one walking up the steps to the gallows, she checked her dark brown hair a final time in the hallway mirror before marching downstairs, her flare jeans dragging on the carpet at every step. She crossed her arms over the front of her T-shirt, which was navy blue and utterly plain, and tapped a be-tennis-shoed foot on the wooden floor, waiting at the door.
Her aunt, resplendent today in shocking violet with orange trim, waltzed over and (horror of horrors) patted her cheek affectionately. Through sheer force of will Alyssia kept a reasonably pleasant expression on her face, though she had to savagely bite her tongue to do it. "Ready to go, my dear?" her aunt giggled, and trotted gleefully out the door, beckoning Alyssia to follow. Tasting blood and muttering, she did so, enduring the ride in her aunt's yellow VW bug in silence.
The movie theater was jammed with people, and Alyssia and her aunt stood in line for almost twenty minutes before they were able to buy tickets. Alyssia didn't hear any of the conversation her aunt had with the ticket person, as her attention was caught and held by a large banner off to her left that read, "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl." Below the words were pictures of four people. Alyssia's eyes drifted from the face of a young woman (is that Natalie Portman? she wondered) to a very handsome Orlando Bloom (looking odd as a brunette without the pointy ears) to the man in the foreground. Johnny Depp, she realised. He held a pistol and a sword crossed in front of him.
Alyssia couldn't help but smile slightly. She thought, 'Maybe we're going to see that.... Hah! Don't I wish!'
Her aunt chose that moment, when she was gazing thoughtfully into Johnny Depp's kohl-lined (and very nice!) eyes to seize her hand in a vice- like grip and haul her off to buy popcorn. 'Halfway to a new CD' Alyssia thought cynically as they marched down the hallway with lighted signs overhead, proclaiming what each screen was showing. Ahead, she could see "Legally Blond II", glowing evilly in the semi-darkness. To her everlasting shock, her aunt marched right past the entrance to the theater, and into the darkened entrance marked "Pirates of the Caribbean".
Alyssia stopped dead, and her aunt ground to a halt. "Yes, what is it, dearest?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice.
Alyssia stuttered, "W-we're going to see this?"
Her aunt beamed, showing yellow artificial teeth that clashed rather horribly with her purple ensemble. "Oh, yes, dear. I thought it might be a nice... change. I saw Mr. Depp in that charming picture a couple of years ago, Chocolat. I thought it might be nice to see another of his performances."
Alyssia was so startled that she used one of her aunt's favorite words purely out of reflex. She said, "Indeed." Her aunt turned away and continued inside. Alyssia stood for a moment, still struggling to grasp this sudden improvement in her fortunes, then followed her in.
They nearly had to sit down on the ground level because of a dispute over moving down a seat. 'But that worked out nicely' Alyssia reflected. 'I'm what, six rows behind my aunt?'
The theater darkened around her, and the opening chords of "Fog Bound" rang out in the otherwise silent theater...
The first few minutes were all right. Alyssia watched, but found her mind wandering as first the ship scene with young Elizabeth Swann, and then the corset scene, and finally the first scene with Will Turner, passed before her eyes. Then her attention was caught and held by Captain Jack Sparrow's magnificent entrance. She giggled as he stood tall and proud on the mast of his sinking boat, then stepped briskly onto the docks of Port Royal.
'Don't I wish' she thought fervently 'That I was on that dock, stepping off that sinking boat, with a swagger in my step and a sword at my side!'
And, quite suddenly and without any warning at all, she was.
************************************************************************
Alyssia was not a happy girl. Her aunt- short, plump, and platinum blond -was going to take her to a movie. Ordinarily, this would not have bothered Alyssia, as she loved movies, but, well... last time was still fresh in her mind. She and her eccentric, lime-green wearing aunt had gone to see "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days", quite possibly the most mind-numbing film on the planet. Her aunt, naturally, had loved it, and was quite content to discuss and quote it for hours on end. Alyssia mentally bet herself a new CD that today's outing would be to "Legally Blond Two". Alyssia bet herself a second CD that she would, if she was right, barf into the popcorn container before the first half hour was up.
With the air of one walking up the steps to the gallows, she checked her dark brown hair a final time in the hallway mirror before marching downstairs, her flare jeans dragging on the carpet at every step. She crossed her arms over the front of her T-shirt, which was navy blue and utterly plain, and tapped a be-tennis-shoed foot on the wooden floor, waiting at the door.
Her aunt, resplendent today in shocking violet with orange trim, waltzed over and (horror of horrors) patted her cheek affectionately. Through sheer force of will Alyssia kept a reasonably pleasant expression on her face, though she had to savagely bite her tongue to do it. "Ready to go, my dear?" her aunt giggled, and trotted gleefully out the door, beckoning Alyssia to follow. Tasting blood and muttering, she did so, enduring the ride in her aunt's yellow VW bug in silence.
The movie theater was jammed with people, and Alyssia and her aunt stood in line for almost twenty minutes before they were able to buy tickets. Alyssia didn't hear any of the conversation her aunt had with the ticket person, as her attention was caught and held by a large banner off to her left that read, "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl." Below the words were pictures of four people. Alyssia's eyes drifted from the face of a young woman (is that Natalie Portman? she wondered) to a very handsome Orlando Bloom (looking odd as a brunette without the pointy ears) to the man in the foreground. Johnny Depp, she realised. He held a pistol and a sword crossed in front of him.
Alyssia couldn't help but smile slightly. She thought, 'Maybe we're going to see that.... Hah! Don't I wish!'
Her aunt chose that moment, when she was gazing thoughtfully into Johnny Depp's kohl-lined (and very nice!) eyes to seize her hand in a vice- like grip and haul her off to buy popcorn. 'Halfway to a new CD' Alyssia thought cynically as they marched down the hallway with lighted signs overhead, proclaiming what each screen was showing. Ahead, she could see "Legally Blond II", glowing evilly in the semi-darkness. To her everlasting shock, her aunt marched right past the entrance to the theater, and into the darkened entrance marked "Pirates of the Caribbean".
Alyssia stopped dead, and her aunt ground to a halt. "Yes, what is it, dearest?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice.
Alyssia stuttered, "W-we're going to see this?"
Her aunt beamed, showing yellow artificial teeth that clashed rather horribly with her purple ensemble. "Oh, yes, dear. I thought it might be a nice... change. I saw Mr. Depp in that charming picture a couple of years ago, Chocolat. I thought it might be nice to see another of his performances."
Alyssia was so startled that she used one of her aunt's favorite words purely out of reflex. She said, "Indeed." Her aunt turned away and continued inside. Alyssia stood for a moment, still struggling to grasp this sudden improvement in her fortunes, then followed her in.
They nearly had to sit down on the ground level because of a dispute over moving down a seat. 'But that worked out nicely' Alyssia reflected. 'I'm what, six rows behind my aunt?'
The theater darkened around her, and the opening chords of "Fog Bound" rang out in the otherwise silent theater...
The first few minutes were all right. Alyssia watched, but found her mind wandering as first the ship scene with young Elizabeth Swann, and then the corset scene, and finally the first scene with Will Turner, passed before her eyes. Then her attention was caught and held by Captain Jack Sparrow's magnificent entrance. She giggled as he stood tall and proud on the mast of his sinking boat, then stepped briskly onto the docks of Port Royal.
'Don't I wish' she thought fervently 'That I was on that dock, stepping off that sinking boat, with a swagger in my step and a sword at my side!'
And, quite suddenly and without any warning at all, she was.