Remus Lupin dragged his tear-heavy eyes up from the floor, their brown depths filled with dread. His face was pale with horror, and his normally neat robes were hanging off of him as he slowly brought his eyes up to meet his friends. The three other boys were staring at him, concern etched in every corner of their faces. Remus blinked. Yes - they were still there. He wasn't dreaming. Though, he hadn't really thought he was. In his dreams, or rather, his nightmares, James, Sirius and Peter didn't stand and confront him..no..they snickered and pointed, and mock shrieked in fear. He had constant nightmares of James's snigger, usually reserved for Severus, echoing in his ears. He could almost see Peter's sneer every time he looked at him, and every time Sirius opened his mouth lately, he was expecting to hear a well placed crack determined to send Remus reeling. But that was not what he was seeing...
James's eyes were narrowed - yes it was true - but not in hate, or fear, or even worst..disgust. No, in concern and sympathy. Sirius, his soft hair hanging gently into his face with the classic causal elegance that only a Black could achieve, had even dropped his smirk to force his face into a concerned, and even reproving mask. Peter, sitting on Remus's bed where they had found the boy, curled up, healing, after another of his monthly adventures, had his pointy eyes flickering between Remus, James and Sirius, seemingly unsure, but his presence there nonetheless was comforting. Remus's dead-like gaze flickered over their faces, sure that at any moment, they would turn and leave..leave him alone..
"Remus. Snap out of it," James prompted worriedly, reaching out and gently slapping Remus's arm. Remus dropped his gaze back to the floor, dropping over their shoes. James, Sirius, and Peter. Three of the best friends Remus would ever know. Ever. "Remus, do you really think we would desert you over 12 days of the year? We're friends, through thick and thin. All the time. Whenever you need us, we're here. How could you think we would just...leave you?" Sirius's voice was almost scolding, but gentle, as if he wasn't sure how much Remus could take. "Remus," James interrupted, his smooth voice firm. "Look at us, mate. You look as though you're about to keel over."
Remus finally, reluctantly raised his eyes to James's warm hazel ones, and saw nothing there but sympathy and understanding. "Blimey, Remmy. I can understand why you wouldn't tell us..but how could you think we'd ever leave each other? I thought we were friends." "We are friends," Remus said, but his voice sounded hollow even to his own ears. "And that's why I have to say this. I understand if you just want to walk away, I don't blame you--" Sirius rolled his eyes, interrupting him with a snort. "Bloody hell, Lupin. Did you just listen to anything we just said? We're not going anywhere. Now, get that tragic look off your face, and get out your charms book. All this drama has gotten me in a Mischief-making mood and I want to figure out how to turn Snape purple.." James rolled his eyes, but Remus finally broke his mask and smiled, nodding. "I-i left it in the Common Room," he told him, his voice hesitant still. Sirius grinned back. "Brilliant. We can take it to the kitchens and read it there, because drama makes me hungry--" "Everything makes you hungry," Peter interrupted, speaking for the first time. Sirius grinned. "Your point?" James chuckled, and just like that, it was done...easy...
But as the boys turned to stagger down the stairs, out of their serious moods and back to their classic jovial attitudes, James grabbed his arm. Hazel eyes bore against chocolate ones in a battle of wills as James firmly grasped his arm. "Remus, I mean it." It was the most serious Lupin had ever heard James. "Not to get sappy -- but I'm not kidding. We'd never leave you. Okay?"
Remus stared at him, and blinked. "I know," he whispered. "We're the Marauders," James told him, his voice grave. "We never leave a man alone."
*
Remus Lupin blinked back tears, his bowed head silhouetted against the cloudy gray sky as he remembered that afternoon, so many afternoons ago. What he wouldn't give to be back there, back at Hogwarts, back with his friends...what he wouldn't give...
"You lied," he whispered brokenly as his fingers traced the inscribed lettering of the cool headstone in front of him. "You lied, James. You left me alone."
JAMES POTTER
--read the noble script in front of him. "Prongs - how could this have happened to us? You're gone..look what they've done to us, Potter..United we stood, divided we fell..divided--" he broke off, unable to finish as Wormtail's confession in the Shrieking Shack flashed before his eyes. He took a deep breath, roughly brushing the tears out of his eyes. They sprinkled the ground in front of James's tombstone, and suddenly Remus felt ashamed. James would never have wanted to see him like this -- pathetic and crying over a loss his mind had accepted but his heart still refused to understand. His eyes flickered to the identical tombstone next to James's, though they weren't exactly tombstones, were they? They had never found the bodies. He could almost hear Lily's softly musical voice, whispering in his ear. "Remus, quit worrying...stand up, and be a man," she would tell him, her magical smile softening her words. "This isn't how I remember you, Remus," she would scold softly. "My Remus--" it irked James to no end that Lily had constantly referred to Sirius, Peter and Remus as 'hers' because, she claimed she knew a side of the Marauders that no one else ever would--"My Remus," she would say, "My Remus was brave."
"Brave?" he would reply mockingly, in their on going bickering. This was a conversation he and Lily had often, whenever her emerald eyes managed to spot the werewolf looking down. "Brave," she would confirm. "I could never be brave like you Remus. It takes tremendous courage to carry on with such a heavy burden." A thoughtful look would pass her face as she would continue, "I've always thought that we were never given more then we could handle. You have it so much more difficult then any of us, Remus. I guess that just makes you the strongest."
James would usually interrupt here with some macho comment, making everyone laugh and turning the conversation towards him. But Remus never minded, because that was just how James was.
Remus smiled softly, content in his memories. If only his memories could be the present, and this could all be just a bad dream. For he knew, when Lily and James had died, that nothing would ever be the same. And when Peter had 'died', and Sirius had been brought to Azkaban, Remus had gone through more pain then he had ever thought possible. But this..knowing that two of his best friends were dead because of a betrayal--
Two of his dearest friends now passed from this world because of a single act of cowardice…for now, not only had James been snatched from his mists, but Sirius as well...
Sirius, with his laughing grin and mischievous eyes. Even as a time took his toll, and Azkaban swallowed the sparkle in Sirius's eyes, the man had been simply irrepressible. He was like a invincible force..of fun, of laughter, of everything right in the world..and he was gone
Gone, gone, they were all gone. Sirius and James had died in body, but not in soul, because Remus knew he would carry them with him for the rest of his life. Peter had died when he sold his soul to Voldemort, along with the lives of Lily and James. James, Sirius, and Peter. Gone.
All gone.
Remus sighed as a cool breeze lifted a lock of hair from his head and blew it into his eyes. He shut his eyes softly, closing out the world and for a moment when he opened them, he could have sworn he saw them. Laughing among the shadows, memories of their former selves, he could have sworn he saw the four of them, perhaps on their way for another midnight adventure. He could see Sirius's grin lighting up his face, and the sparkle in James's eyes, and he could almost hear Peter's nervous chuckle. But then light clashed through the clouds, highlighting the entire graveyard in a dim golden hue and they were gone...and he was alone.
And as he stood up, to return back to the real world where a war was going on, and the weight of the world fell on the shoulders of one little boy, the sun burned through the clouds, silhouetting his profile against the cloud sky, he smiled, one last time, and walked away, alone. The Last Marauders. But, as he turned to walk away from his past and towards his future, he knew he wasn't really alone -- his friends, even Peter, would always be with him. For he was a Marauder, the Last Marauder, and the Marauders never left a man alone.
THE END