[Disclaimer: The rumors are true. To find out what those rumors are, refer back to the first chapter.]

[Summary: AU.  A job is a job.  Except when the job involves Kagome being paid to masquerade as her employer, Kikyo, and having to deal with all the messy details of her life that she failed to mention.  Like stalkers and ex-boyfriends.]

Faking It

Chapter 2

There's Always a Catch

by Bikutoria

~+~

 
"To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride. Do your best to forget it and if you don't succeed, at least pretend to."

-Moliere

~+~

Day 3

Sango and Kagome had spent the previous evening getting to know a bit about each other over a mean game of Uno.  Unfortunately for Kagome, Sango turned out to be a surprisingly aggressive player.  Despite Kagome's experience, she lost out on a few hands.

"Uno!"  Kagome slapped down her cards as she began gleefully celebrating her happenstance victory.

Sango rolled her eyes affably, holding back a full-blown grin at her co-worker's exuberant behavior.  "A normal person would have gotten enough of this game last night," she said, tossing her losing hand of cards before picking up her cereal bowl.

Kagome switched from her excitement to a faux haughty tone, sticking her nose in the air, "A person never tires of winning."

"If you keep up that behavior, no one will be able to tell you and Kikyo apart!" Sango snorted.

Her face broke into a smile before uttering, "Mission accomplished, then."  The diminutive woman slipped into a more calm exterior as she let her concerns creep up on her again.  "I wish it would be that easy."

"Just remember to not make jokes of that sort, and you'll be fine."

"What sort of jokes can I make?" Kagome inquired.

"The non-existent kind."  Both would have rolled their eyes if the reality of the situation wasn't what it was: Kagome really would have to appear as cool, calm, and quiet as her employer, and Sango was going to have to tell her how to do it.

Kagome eyed Sango's breakfast with distaste.  "I don't know how you can be eating that stuff so late in the day.

Sango shrugged diffidently before explaining, "Noon is the normal starting time around here, and then breakfast is the first meal after you get up."  She stood and headed to the sink, and raised her voice to be heard above the water she began running.  "What time did you wake up?"

Kagome looked at the clock hanging above the archway to the rest of the suite.  She looked back down at her own uneaten cereal and poked at it with a spoon.  "Around nine."

Sango's laughter could be heard quite easily.  "A.M.?  You better get used to sleeping in late this week or taking catnaps, otherwise the late nights will wear you out."

A false look of contrition flitted across Kagome's faced as she said, "Can't have the dear old boss calling up about paparazzi photos of 'herself' with bags under 'her' eyes."

Sango swatted Kagome on the arm as she passed by her.  "Can't have the dear boss reading reports of herself talking in the third person and calling herself old."  She checked the time before continuing; "You really should take a nap before tonight.  I'll wake you up when it's time to start getting ready."  Sango made a move to clear Kagome's plates before they were grabbed out from under her by Kagome herself.

The faux model grabbed her dirty plates and walked over to the sink.  She teased Sango cheerfully, "Yes, mother.  A nap might do me some good…"

Once Kagome was firmly ensconced in the luxurious down comforters (plural!  She could hardly believe it) settled on Kikyo's bed, she allowed her mind to drift into that hazy state just before sleep arrives; distantly, she thought she might have heard a repetitive banging sound, too slight to lure her from her soporific state…

~+~

In a room not too far away, Inuyasha was bouncing a superball steadily against his wall.  Laying flat on his back in bed, he realized one wrong move and the damn thing would thwack him in the face.

Suddenly, his door flew open with such force that it smacked the wall.  Inuyasha's reaction time slipped due to the startling moment and he failed to grab the flying rubber ball; consequently, Miroku had a perfect vantage point in the doorway to see his friend – and current employer – get thwacked in the face with the damn thing that had been causing him frustration for many minutes now.

"Ow…what the…what do you want, Miroku?"

Removing himself from the doorway, he waltzed over to the prone source of his misery and deftly plucked the small superball off the bed.  "I am confiscating this, or I will resign."

Inuyasha rubbed his forehead while letting out a derisive snort.  "As if you'd quit – you'll meet more women this week than you normally meet in a year."

"Good point, but you're still not getting it back.  Find something else to distract yourself with – something that doesn't cause my room to reverberate."  With that, Miroku jerked his thumb in the direction of the wall Inuyasha had been steadily damaging, which happened to house Miroku's sleeping quarters on the opposite side.

"Did I interrupt your beauty sleep, Miroku?" he jeered, using his attitude to try and dissuade his friend from sitting down to question him. 

However, the many years of friendship between the two had inoculated Miroku to Inuyasha's rudeness; he plopped himself onto a plush divan adjacent to the bed, one leg splayed comfortably over the armrest.  He calmly inquired, "So the meeting went that well yesterday?"

Inuyasha mentally groaned; irked at Miroku for his intuitiveness and irked at himself for agreeing to this situation in the first place.  "Yeah, it went just swell," he bit out sarcastically.  "Schedule's on the end table."

"Anything on for tonight?" Miroku asked, already making moves to grab the paper for himself to read.

Inuyasha lifted one hand in a vague gesture, "Maybe…"

A slight curve turned up the edge of Miroku's mouth in a smile.  "Yes, a launch party for something.  I hope it's miniskirts…or lingerie…or perfume…" he trailed off, visions of perfume-clad women strutting around in his head.

The news did not make Inuyasha as happy as it made his friend.  "A launch party?  Why do I even have to go to something like that?  I've got nothing to do with anything anyone wants to sell."

Miroku's face turned serious before issuing a reminder.  "You will if this week goes according to plan."

Inuyasha's mental groan forced itself to become a verbal one, muffled only by the pillow he was holding over his face.

~+~

"Shoot, we just missed the elevator."  Kagome eyed the diminutive assistant of Kikyo's as they waited for the other one to ascend.  Once they stepped into the empty compartment, she felt compelled to comment on Sango's apparel.  She was attired in a black pantsuit with obvious designer lines…and an amazing hot-pink silk lining.  "That's an amazing suit!"

"This old thing?"  Kagome giggled before Sango explained, "This is basically my uniform.   It looks good enough, but not too flashy, so that I can maneuver easily at any formal gatherings I have to attend with Kikyo.  If you look at publicity photos of her, I'm that woman you see cut off in the edge of the photo.  And, in case we run into trouble…" Sango demonstrated the ease of movement by high-kicking the air.  "It's incredibly easy to move in."

"Oh…" Trouble?  Kagome had almost forgotten that Sango was not simply in the role of personal assistant, but that of a bodyguard also.

Kagome had half a mind to interrogate her as to why she was working for the model in that capacity – more specifically, why Kikyo needed anyone working for her in the bodyguard capacity in the first place.  Unfortunately, the other half of Kagome's mind was distracted by the elevator door's opening to reveal the magnificent hotel foyer that had entranced her the previous day, so the question slipped her mind. 

Sango guided her nimbly through the lobby, keeping her head facing straight while beckoning for Kagome to do the same.  Kagome found herself mentally chanting cool, calm, quiet in her head, the inner noise distracting her from the glossy wood and vaulted ceilings.

Sango, inured by such sights during her time in Kikyo's employ, allowed her mind to wander to the evening at hand.  "The limo should be waiting for us since I called for it a half—"

"We're taking a limo?" Kagome interrupted, her brows furrowed.

"Yup, and I'll be your chauffeur for the evening." Sango's tone was playful, but the pseudo-boss wasn't having it.

"Can't we take a cab…or something else?  I mean, you and I, we're in this together."

Sango felt surprise creep up on her.  Yes, it had registered in her mind that this girl was different from most she met in this line of business.  Most would be taking advantage of the superiority a position like this would be giving them even if it was just for a short time.

"Actually, since this is really just a launch party, it's more business than anything else.  There shouldn't be much media coverage outside, so we could get away with taking a cab.  If you're sure…" Sango trailed off, wanting to leave an opening for Kagome to change her mind.

"I love loopholes."  With that, Kagome grinned and looped an arm with the multitasking coworker as she signaled for a cab with the free arm.

As they settling into the cab, Sango excused herself to make some calls on her cell phone.  Kagome let her attention focus itself on the sights speeding by her window, curtly ignoring the cab driver's many glances in the rear view mirror.  She tugged down her top to make her midriff feel more covered, but as she had already figured out, that just made her cleavage stand out that much more.  She sighed and adjusted the top in a compromise – she chose to see her stomach and chest as half covered instead of half uncovered.  At least if she was wearing a dress she'd feel more secure.

But Kikyo had been adamant about that.  Sango had woken Kagome off, all but tossed the groggy woman into a bath before preparing her for the evening.  Kikyo called in on speakerphone, demanding to see her double in various outfits; their employer's mental catalogue of her closet was impeccable.  And while Kagome could admit that the outfit they had decided on looked amazing, it certainly didn't feel amazing.  She thought maybe she should change her mental chant to two thousand dollars a day, two thousand dollars a day if she wanted to get through this week mentally intact.

Kagome wanted to like Kikyo; in fact, it was hard to dislike a woman who was paying her an exorbitant amount of money for a seemingly simple and temporary assignment.  Yet Kikyo, with her clipped voice and high standards, made it easy for her subordinates to dislike her.  Kikyo was already playing on the typically pleasant girl's nerves, and she wasn't even in the country…at least, she wasn't as far as Kagome and Sango knew.  Kagome fingered her necklace while wondering again if this job would be as easy as they all were making it out to be. 

She was finally pulled out of her reverie by the simultaneous clicking sound of Sango's cell phone shutting and the cab pulling to a stop.  "We're here," Kagome heard her companion say.  "Just follow my lead, look beyond people as though you're looking for someone else to talk to, and don't smile."

Don't smile.  Kagome felt like she could definitely manage that right now.  Quelling the rising fear that was causing her heart to thud and her cheeks to pale, she opened the door.

~+~

"Remind me again why we're here."

Miroku, not taking his eyes off a particularly scantily clad group of women congregating in one part of the room, said, "Why, standing in a room full of some of the loveliest ladies in the world, do you feel the need to ask that question?  You would do well to appreciate your surroundings."

"I didn't say to remind me of why you are happy to be here, I asked why we are here," Inuyasha growled.

Miroku dropped the jovial tone.  "Because, after years of failed persuasions, you finally succumbed to your agent's pleas for you to come back to the city to see if you were ready to rejoin the world of popular music.  And the perk for me as your personal assistant and bodyguard—" Inuyasha's eyes narrowed at that, which Miroku wisely choice to ignore "—is that I get to attend all the opportune gatherings they schedule..."

The look of boredom that had plagued Inuyasha throughout the party vanished as he heard his friend's voice trail off.  He followed Miroku's line of sight to that of two women, one whose face he was able to see but unable to recognize, while the other had her back to them.  The ladies looked good enough for surroundings such as this, but he couldn't quell the skeptical feeling that rose in his gut. 

He turned suspiciously to Miroku, wondering why this particular pair captured his notice.  Inuyasha was again surprised, this time due to an inexplicable look of shock on said friend's face.  Miroku was never surprised, particularly by the other gender.  Feeling that this was too good a chance to pass up, he started mocking the distracted – and defenseless – man.

"Why so surprised, Miroku, do you know them?  Should I go introduce myself to your lady friends?"  With that, he walked off to potentially (and hopefully) embarrass Miroku.  At least that would entertain him more than this dull gathering.

Miroku came to his senses just after Inuyasha began weaving his way through the crowd.  And then berated himself – it was bad enough to be distracted by Sango, but even worse to be distracted by her companion and not immediately notify Inuyasha that she was here.  Miroku also realized that his friend must not have seen her, otherwise he wouldn't be making his way across the room quite so quickly.  He scrambled to catch up to Inuyasha in order to stop him, but had lost precious ground in his agitation.

Inuyasha could be genial when he wanted; he just didn't usually want to.  However, genial for him wasn't exactly the same working definition for the rest of the world, so as he came upon the women he began by addressing himself to the one whose face he had seen from across the room, the one that Miroku had been distracted by.  "My name's Inuyasha.  My friend over there…" he found himself losing the power of speech as her companion turned around.  The previously unseen woman was now seen.

"Kikyo…"

Kagome blinked, once, then twice.  She found it easy to hold the blank expression on her face; who was this guy?  She had been holding her own with Sango by her side; only a small stumble as she stepped out of the cab (the high heels) and one very enthusiastic French-speaking person whom Sango quickly dispatched with a few quick words in his language.  Most people here hadn't seemed to know her, at least not on a personal level; everyone who approached either wanted to praise Kikyo or have Kikyo praise them.  The model's quiet temperament widely known, both of those could be taken care of quickly with a few slightly glowing words either way.  But this guy…

Inuyasha's dazed expression turned irate, and he repeated the name once more, in a much flatter tone.  "Kikyo."

She had been about to hold out her hand in introduction, but she quickly gathered that this guy already knew 'her' and definitely wasn't pleased to see her.  Struggling to think of what to say, she found herself unable to tear her gaze away from his eyes.

Sango, unfortunately, was caught up in what Inuyasha had been saying before he trailed off.  And again, unfortunately, she spotted the "friend", and had a reaction not dissimilar to the one Inuyasha was quickly recuperating from.  However, she much preferred to not stand there slack-jawed gaping, so she directed her attention back to the man who had started all the trouble in the first place.

She didn't recognize him.  All the time Sango had spent as Kikyo's personal assistant was failing her right now, at the first real test of the week.  She frantically flipped through her mental rolodex while maintaining a cool exterior; if she couldn't remember herself, she'd have him help her.

Sango nodded slightly to get his attention and said, "I don't believe we've met.  I'm Sango, Kikyo's assistant."

Inuyasha took his gaze off of Kagome, but his expression was no less irate.  "Inuyasha."

"And I," huff puff, "am Miroku," a very disheveled Miroku announced, glad to have arrived before anyone said anything they would regret.

"Kikyo," Inuyasha repeated for the third time, "I'm surprised to see you here.  I was told you weren't in town."

Kagome  modulated her voice.  "I have a few engagements in town this week."  She wondered what the heck was going on.  Sango was adamantly refusing to look at this Miroku person – and utterly distracted - and Kikyo hadn't warned her about any guys that might be happy – or unhappy – to see her.  She surreptitiously checked Inuyasha out as he introduced himself to Sango, wondering if she might recognize him.  He looked a bit familiar, but since she couldn't place him she would have to play it safe.

Her face betrayed her; KAgome let herself look slightly surprised as Inuyasha exhaled, grumbling, "If I had known that, I wouldn't have come to the city this week."

Wow, Kagome thought.  Kikyo must have burnt this one badly.  Deductive reasoning said that this sort of bitterness usually came from ex-boyfriends.

He sniffed the air.  Even amidst the many people moving about in the enclosed space, he could smell a subtly sweet scent.  His eyes narrowed in her direction.  It was her.  She smelled—

"New perfume?" he asked.

"Um…" Stop sound so uncertain!  "Pear-apple body splash."  Come to think of it…body splash scent was never meant to be strong enough to last long. 

"Smells awful, Kikyo," he offered casually.

She could feel a vein popping in her forehead as her anger mounted.  He was so infuriating!  All Kagome wanted to do was to shout back at this infuriating man.  To let him know she wasn't Kikyo; her name was Kagome!  Ka-go-me!

But that was not an option.  What she knew she had to do was keep up the façade of being Kikyo the best she could.  Unfortunately, Kikyo had not left any instructions on how to act around former boyfriends with anger management issues.

Manners came to mind, and Inuyasha said, "This is Miroku."

Kagome's mind went into automatic pilot as she replied, "Nice to meet you, Miroku."

A perplexed look flashed through Miroku's face.  He opened his mouth to begin speaking but was immediately interrupted by Inuyasha's coarse laughter.  "You met him five years ago, Kikyo.  This is the same guy I had working for me back then as I do now."

Kagome felt an un-Kikyo-like blush begin to creep up her neck.  "Forgive me, my memory must be fading."

Miroku smoothly responded, "No problem at all, Kikyo.  He pays me to keep his life in order and occasionally he lets his pride down enough to let me act as his bodyguard, same as usual."

Sango, sensing Kagome's mortification, swept in to distract the group.  "Well, Inuyasha, if the introduction was intended for me, there was certainly no need.  I have already had the displeasure of meeting this lecher."

"Oh!" Miroku exclaimed, holding a hand to his heart.  "Sango, you wound me.  I did not know you thought so poorly of our past encounters."  With this, he raised his eyebrows rakishly.

Inuyasha and Kagome simply looked at the pair, each of their mouths forming tiny little 'o's of surprise. 

Sango cursed the fact the she blushed easily.  Trying to salvage the situation, she snapped, "Get your heads out of the gutter!" to the astonished pair before smacking Miroku on the arm.

Kagome was having a terrible time keeping a straight face; if the façade slipped, she might not get it back up before the crowd surrounding them realized she was out of character.  She realized that if she was going to get away to gather her wits, now was the time since Inuyasha was paying attention to the squabbling couple and not glaring at herself; strangely, she didn't know if she could stand hearing him call her Kikyo one more time.  Grabbing Sango by the arm, she declared, "We have to be going now."  Nodding once to Miroku to gesture that it had been nice to meet him, she turned on her heel and prayed Sango would follow her and stay out of her stupor. 

One night, over before it had barely begun.

~+~

[A/N: My biggest concern is that the chapter isn't flowing, because half of it was written ages ago and the other half was written much more recently.  Thanks so, so much to each and every one of you who reviewed.  You made me very, very happy, so I really hope this chapter made you at least one very's worth of happy.  If it didn't, review to let me know why; if it did, review to let me know why!]

[Shameless Plug of the Day:  ArtemisMoon's Big Trouble Comes in Small Packages. [user id: 62784, story id:1689360.]  It's funny.  Trust me.  Go read it.  And don't forget to review.  Reviews replace food and water for some authors.