Monty Python and the Holy Grail: A Poem
Disclaimer: I don't own Monty Python. The six geniuses (Eric Idle, Michael
Palin, John Cleese, Graham Chapman (RIP ;_;), Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam) do. I wrote this poem a loooong time ago, when I had nothing else
better to do in class, soooooo here it is. Now.
On with the show!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now listen to my tale
of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
In which they encounter a man-eating bunny
And King Arthur has no money*
The Knights of the Round Table go to jail
*The budget ran out
Look at the Knights of the Round Table
Where are they to go?
With coconuts instead of horses
Nobody can know
King Arthur rides his noble steed
How he does walk
He inquires of brave knights
But French won't talk
He waits there getting insulted
'Till he wants to bash them o'er head
Then Bedevere uses his brain
And finds a plan instead
He creates a wooden rabbit
And has them go and get
Inside and open the French fort
But then the knights forget
Sir Bedevere, Arthur's noble friend
He is the only one
Together at the very end
The rest, they are all gone
He racks his brain for answers
Thinking he is very smart
The rest all know how dumb he is
Cause he's a stupid tart
Sir Launcelot, the brave and bold
You can depend on him
If anything somehow goes wrong
The knight to call is him
He gets a note on an arrow
It strikes Concorde's front
He finds the note's a call for help
And hurries to the hunt
Launcelot massacres
An entire wedding
To assist the person who plead for help
But does not know who he's getting
Sir Galahad, the pure knight
He seeks the Holy Grail
Although he gets it in olden works
Alas, not in this tale
Caught in a storm one dismal night
He seeks to find a shelter
But when he sees the so-called Grail
His mind goes helter-skelter
He charges up to Castle Anthrax
And bangs upon the door
And then he meets some teenage girls
Approximately eight score
He asks "Where is the Grail?"
They give him all their fateful plea
But when they get him in a bed
He knows that he must flee
Brave Sir Robin is not quite so brave
As Launcelot, and proved it
When he saw the Three-Headed Knight
And thought to run was fit
The minstrel's song gets frightful
Although its cheery tune
Along with the triplicate signs on the road
Robin knows danger's coming soon
He soon meets up with the Three-Headed Knight
And sees a speared man or two
The three heads get in a large argument
And Robin flees before it's through
Bedevere and Arthur
Meet up with the Knights of Ni
They put up a bold front
But are actually trembling in the knee
The two knights have a task
Complete or they'll hear "Ni!"
Arthur and Bedevere
Need a shrubbery
The quickly arrive at town
And say "Ni!" to an old woman
Roger the Shrubber comes up to them
And he starts fuming
Bedevere and Arthur
Have a shrubbery
Only to find that
The Knights are no longer Ni
Those two valiant knights
Almost draw their sword
Sir Robin comes up oblivious
And repeatedly uses a damaging word
The group of three meets up
With Launcelot and Galahad
They snack upon the minstrels
Whose singing is driving them mad
They come upon a mysterious man
With extreme powers
Tim is the name by which he is called
And his fire will singe all the flowers
He leads them to a dangerous cave
The Cave of Caerbannog
With a beast so cruel and fierce
It could bite through a metal log
They find before the cave a rabbit
Tiny, white, and scared (it looks)
It immediately bites Bors' head off
And they retreat to check the books
Then Launcelot has a fine idea
And Arthur quickly agrees
Brother Maynard retrieves it
And the knights get it by degrees
The weapon is the Grenade of Antioch
And they get a very long tale
About counting to three and not any higher
But Arthur almost completely fails
The rabbit destroyed they are free to go
And enter into the cave
They find the last words of Joe of A
And quickly is tested their brave
They go until the Bridge of Death
And try to answer the questions three
They try best to no avail
And only three walk free
The last to attempt to cross
Search everywhere in vain
Attempting to find Launcelot
But he is lost again
Two that are left have discovered
An old, cobwebbed Viking boat
Arthur and Bedevere climb aboard
And to an island it does float
They run aground on the island
And see the Castle Aaugh
They quickly run up to find the Grail
And instead see the Frenchman's mug
Arthur moves up his hidden army
And commands them all to charge
It seems it will start a very large fight
But Arthur is arrested by Sarge
Palin, John Cleese, Graham Chapman (RIP ;_;), Terry Jones, and Terry Gilliam) do. I wrote this poem a loooong time ago, when I had nothing else
better to do in class, soooooo here it is. Now.
On with the show!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now listen to my tale
of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
In which they encounter a man-eating bunny
And King Arthur has no money*
The Knights of the Round Table go to jail
*The budget ran out
Look at the Knights of the Round Table
Where are they to go?
With coconuts instead of horses
Nobody can know
King Arthur rides his noble steed
How he does walk
He inquires of brave knights
But French won't talk
He waits there getting insulted
'Till he wants to bash them o'er head
Then Bedevere uses his brain
And finds a plan instead
He creates a wooden rabbit
And has them go and get
Inside and open the French fort
But then the knights forget
Sir Bedevere, Arthur's noble friend
He is the only one
Together at the very end
The rest, they are all gone
He racks his brain for answers
Thinking he is very smart
The rest all know how dumb he is
Cause he's a stupid tart
Sir Launcelot, the brave and bold
You can depend on him
If anything somehow goes wrong
The knight to call is him
He gets a note on an arrow
It strikes Concorde's front
He finds the note's a call for help
And hurries to the hunt
Launcelot massacres
An entire wedding
To assist the person who plead for help
But does not know who he's getting
Sir Galahad, the pure knight
He seeks the Holy Grail
Although he gets it in olden works
Alas, not in this tale
Caught in a storm one dismal night
He seeks to find a shelter
But when he sees the so-called Grail
His mind goes helter-skelter
He charges up to Castle Anthrax
And bangs upon the door
And then he meets some teenage girls
Approximately eight score
He asks "Where is the Grail?"
They give him all their fateful plea
But when they get him in a bed
He knows that he must flee
Brave Sir Robin is not quite so brave
As Launcelot, and proved it
When he saw the Three-Headed Knight
And thought to run was fit
The minstrel's song gets frightful
Although its cheery tune
Along with the triplicate signs on the road
Robin knows danger's coming soon
He soon meets up with the Three-Headed Knight
And sees a speared man or two
The three heads get in a large argument
And Robin flees before it's through
Bedevere and Arthur
Meet up with the Knights of Ni
They put up a bold front
But are actually trembling in the knee
The two knights have a task
Complete or they'll hear "Ni!"
Arthur and Bedevere
Need a shrubbery
The quickly arrive at town
And say "Ni!" to an old woman
Roger the Shrubber comes up to them
And he starts fuming
Bedevere and Arthur
Have a shrubbery
Only to find that
The Knights are no longer Ni
Those two valiant knights
Almost draw their sword
Sir Robin comes up oblivious
And repeatedly uses a damaging word
The group of three meets up
With Launcelot and Galahad
They snack upon the minstrels
Whose singing is driving them mad
They come upon a mysterious man
With extreme powers
Tim is the name by which he is called
And his fire will singe all the flowers
He leads them to a dangerous cave
The Cave of Caerbannog
With a beast so cruel and fierce
It could bite through a metal log
They find before the cave a rabbit
Tiny, white, and scared (it looks)
It immediately bites Bors' head off
And they retreat to check the books
Then Launcelot has a fine idea
And Arthur quickly agrees
Brother Maynard retrieves it
And the knights get it by degrees
The weapon is the Grenade of Antioch
And they get a very long tale
About counting to three and not any higher
But Arthur almost completely fails
The rabbit destroyed they are free to go
And enter into the cave
They find the last words of Joe of A
And quickly is tested their brave
They go until the Bridge of Death
And try to answer the questions three
They try best to no avail
And only three walk free
The last to attempt to cross
Search everywhere in vain
Attempting to find Launcelot
But he is lost again
Two that are left have discovered
An old, cobwebbed Viking boat
Arthur and Bedevere climb aboard
And to an island it does float
They run aground on the island
And see the Castle Aaugh
They quickly run up to find the Grail
And instead see the Frenchman's mug
Arthur moves up his hidden army
And commands them all to charge
It seems it will start a very large fight
But Arthur is arrested by Sarge