Cutting Your Hair with a Sword Can be Fatal
By: zennou-sakusha
With help and suggestions from: kikoutei-hiryuu and co.
About this story: Hiei tries to cut his hair with his sword and ends up in a coma. Lots of humor, a bit of angst too since Hiei almost dies. heh heh ^^\/. Hiei also gets a spirit beast, Yukina gets rich, and Kuwabara gets a visit from a certain fire demon's ghost. NO YAOI!!!
Sorry for any parts with OOCness, I'm trying my best to make them act normal! Oh, and I dunno what to rate it so I just put PG. Also, sorry if you Kurama fans think I'm being mean to him, but this is a Hiei fic so no worries about future chappies having lots of Kurama bashing! Though, Hiei fans may want to start worrying about Hiei, cuz I'm gonna give him a hard time. ^^\/ (I won't kill him, after all, he's my favorite character!)
Pairings: Kuwabara/Yukina, Yusuke/Keiko, other than that I'm not sure yet.
[blah] my thoughts
:::blah::: character's thoughts
Disclaimer- I do not own YYH.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Hiei is Taller Than Usual
Hiei was sitting on the floor of Kurama's room, as usual. Kurama had invited him over to tell him something.
"What did you want to tell me, fox?" Hiei was anxious to leave since it was almost nightfall.
"For the past few weeks I've noticed something about you, something that isn't quite right," Kurama began.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you seem very tall."
"WHAT?!" Hiei stood up abruptly. He was used to comments about his height, but never from Kurama!
"Now, now, don't get all mad and insulted! Just hear me out."
"Hn." Reluctantly, Hiei sat back down.
"Upon further investigation, I have discovered-"
Hiei glared at the fox demon, letting him know that he didn't appreciate how he was drawing things out. "Spit it out, already. It's almost night and I would like to leave."
"Fine! I have found out that the reason that you look tall is because of your hair."
"So?" Hiei asked. He was getting a bit suspicious. After all, people don't just call others to their house to say that they're hair looks strange. :::Besides, I kind of like being tall.:::
"So? SO? That means your hair is too long!"
At first Hiei had been a bit confused, but now he understood completely what Kurama was trying to tell him, and he wasn't happy about it.
"YOU NEED A HAIRCUT! And quite badly, too, I'm afraid." Kurama knelt down to Hiei and started looking at his hair, muttering to himself. "Tsk, tsk. Split ends everywhere!"
"Do you NOT remember the last time I got a hair cut?" Hiei was very annoyed at the fact that Kurama felt it was his duty to take care of Hiei's hair.
"How can I forget?"
Last year, Kurama had dragged Hiei (with many death threats, bribes, and black mails) to a barbershop. The guy at the barbershop (let's call him Bill) had put some smelly junk in Hiei's hair, made him sit under some sort of blanket thing in a hot, stuffy room, and almost cut Hiei's ear off. Needless to say, Bill had HIS ear cut off, thanks to Hiei's sword.
"I refuse to go to another baka barbershop," Hiei stated.
"If you had just gone to the beauty salon, none of that would have happened!" Kurama pointed out.
"I happen to have a reputation, which I don't want ruined over some ningen beauty salon."
"Hey, I go to a beauty salon, and I have a pretty good reputation!" Kurama argued.
"Heh, your reputation. Half of the guys at your ningen school are in love with you, Yusuke once thought you were a girl, and let's not forget that little cross dressing problem you once had!" [Sorry Kurama fans!!!] Hiei smirked at Kurama.
"I'd rather not be reminded... But still, most of the girls like me!"
"I'd rather not have ningen girls OR guys stalking me all day, not to mention rabid fangirls..." Hiei winced at the thought of his last encounter with a mob of rabid fangirls.
"Please, never mention the rabid fangirls!!! Lately, the nightmares have been getting worse." Kurama had been having nightmares about mobs of fangirls fighting over him recently, none of them very pleasant to think about. [Poor Kurama!]
"Hn."
"Oh, come on Hiei! If you don't want to go to a barbershop then I'll cut your hair for you!"
"How do I know you know what you're doing?" Hiei was thinking of how he could possibly get out of this.
"Just trust me, I know."
"Hn..."
"Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'd rather have my hand cut off."
"That's mean, Hiei."
"I know."
"Fine, if you won't let me or a professional cut your hair, then I'm going to call Keiko and the other girls. I'm sure they'd be delighted to give your hair a nice makeover."
"You wouldn't..."
"Yes, I would."
"Hn."
"Okay, you asked for it!" Kurama left the room. Hiei followed him, to see what the fox was up to.
Kurama picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Is Keiko there? Hi, this is Kurama... Oh, I'm fine, thank you... I'm afraid I need your help... Can you get Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan and meet me at my house? I'll tell you about it when you get here... Thanks, bye-bye!"
Kurama hung up and looked at Hiei. "See? I told you I would!"
"Hn." :::I can't believe that baka kitsune is doing this to me!!!:::
"Now, they're on their way so you have about ten minutes to decide. Either I tell them to cut your hair, or you can find someone to cut it yourself. Your decision!"
Hiei couldn't believe how easily Kurama had tricked him into all of this. :::I guess I have no choice, baka kitsune!:::
"Fine, baka kitsune. I promise I will have my hair cut tomorrow. If it is not cut in 24 hours, then you may tell Keiko and the others to cut my hair."
"This is for your own good, you know. I'll meet you by your tree in 24 hours."
"Hn."
"Okay, now what do I tell the girls..." Kurama began thinking of an excuse.
Hiei left Kurama to his own problems, and set out down the street. He headed towards the park, to his tree. :::This will be easy. I'll just cut my hair myself with my sword, how hard could it be?:::
Little did Hiei know that cutting your hair with a sword could be fatal...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC
How did you like it? Review if you want more! Sorry if it was a bit short and not too funny, but there will be more soon and the best has yet to come!
Hiei- I can't believe you're making me do this.
zennou-sakusha- Oh, just wait until you get a spirit beast! That's when the real fun starts!
Hiei- I can hardly wait. *is dreading what is in store for him*
For those who don't know Japanese here are some definitions:
Baka- stupid, idiot, moron.
Ningen- human
Kitsune- fox
By: zennou-sakusha
With help and suggestions from: kikoutei-hiryuu and co.
About this story: Hiei tries to cut his hair with his sword and ends up in a coma. Lots of humor, a bit of angst too since Hiei almost dies. heh heh ^^\/. Hiei also gets a spirit beast, Yukina gets rich, and Kuwabara gets a visit from a certain fire demon's ghost. NO YAOI!!!
Sorry for any parts with OOCness, I'm trying my best to make them act normal! Oh, and I dunno what to rate it so I just put PG. Also, sorry if you Kurama fans think I'm being mean to him, but this is a Hiei fic so no worries about future chappies having lots of Kurama bashing! Though, Hiei fans may want to start worrying about Hiei, cuz I'm gonna give him a hard time. ^^\/ (I won't kill him, after all, he's my favorite character!)
Pairings: Kuwabara/Yukina, Yusuke/Keiko, other than that I'm not sure yet.
[blah] my thoughts
:::blah::: character's thoughts
Disclaimer- I do not own YYH.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Hiei is Taller Than Usual
Hiei was sitting on the floor of Kurama's room, as usual. Kurama had invited him over to tell him something.
"What did you want to tell me, fox?" Hiei was anxious to leave since it was almost nightfall.
"For the past few weeks I've noticed something about you, something that isn't quite right," Kurama began.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, you seem very tall."
"WHAT?!" Hiei stood up abruptly. He was used to comments about his height, but never from Kurama!
"Now, now, don't get all mad and insulted! Just hear me out."
"Hn." Reluctantly, Hiei sat back down.
"Upon further investigation, I have discovered-"
Hiei glared at the fox demon, letting him know that he didn't appreciate how he was drawing things out. "Spit it out, already. It's almost night and I would like to leave."
"Fine! I have found out that the reason that you look tall is because of your hair."
"So?" Hiei asked. He was getting a bit suspicious. After all, people don't just call others to their house to say that they're hair looks strange. :::Besides, I kind of like being tall.:::
"So? SO? That means your hair is too long!"
At first Hiei had been a bit confused, but now he understood completely what Kurama was trying to tell him, and he wasn't happy about it.
"YOU NEED A HAIRCUT! And quite badly, too, I'm afraid." Kurama knelt down to Hiei and started looking at his hair, muttering to himself. "Tsk, tsk. Split ends everywhere!"
"Do you NOT remember the last time I got a hair cut?" Hiei was very annoyed at the fact that Kurama felt it was his duty to take care of Hiei's hair.
"How can I forget?"
Last year, Kurama had dragged Hiei (with many death threats, bribes, and black mails) to a barbershop. The guy at the barbershop (let's call him Bill) had put some smelly junk in Hiei's hair, made him sit under some sort of blanket thing in a hot, stuffy room, and almost cut Hiei's ear off. Needless to say, Bill had HIS ear cut off, thanks to Hiei's sword.
"I refuse to go to another baka barbershop," Hiei stated.
"If you had just gone to the beauty salon, none of that would have happened!" Kurama pointed out.
"I happen to have a reputation, which I don't want ruined over some ningen beauty salon."
"Hey, I go to a beauty salon, and I have a pretty good reputation!" Kurama argued.
"Heh, your reputation. Half of the guys at your ningen school are in love with you, Yusuke once thought you were a girl, and let's not forget that little cross dressing problem you once had!" [Sorry Kurama fans!!!] Hiei smirked at Kurama.
"I'd rather not be reminded... But still, most of the girls like me!"
"I'd rather not have ningen girls OR guys stalking me all day, not to mention rabid fangirls..." Hiei winced at the thought of his last encounter with a mob of rabid fangirls.
"Please, never mention the rabid fangirls!!! Lately, the nightmares have been getting worse." Kurama had been having nightmares about mobs of fangirls fighting over him recently, none of them very pleasant to think about. [Poor Kurama!]
"Hn."
"Oh, come on Hiei! If you don't want to go to a barbershop then I'll cut your hair for you!"
"How do I know you know what you're doing?" Hiei was thinking of how he could possibly get out of this.
"Just trust me, I know."
"Hn..."
"Please?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'd rather have my hand cut off."
"That's mean, Hiei."
"I know."
"Fine, if you won't let me or a professional cut your hair, then I'm going to call Keiko and the other girls. I'm sure they'd be delighted to give your hair a nice makeover."
"You wouldn't..."
"Yes, I would."
"Hn."
"Okay, you asked for it!" Kurama left the room. Hiei followed him, to see what the fox was up to.
Kurama picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Is Keiko there? Hi, this is Kurama... Oh, I'm fine, thank you... I'm afraid I need your help... Can you get Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan and meet me at my house? I'll tell you about it when you get here... Thanks, bye-bye!"
Kurama hung up and looked at Hiei. "See? I told you I would!"
"Hn." :::I can't believe that baka kitsune is doing this to me!!!:::
"Now, they're on their way so you have about ten minutes to decide. Either I tell them to cut your hair, or you can find someone to cut it yourself. Your decision!"
Hiei couldn't believe how easily Kurama had tricked him into all of this. :::I guess I have no choice, baka kitsune!:::
"Fine, baka kitsune. I promise I will have my hair cut tomorrow. If it is not cut in 24 hours, then you may tell Keiko and the others to cut my hair."
"This is for your own good, you know. I'll meet you by your tree in 24 hours."
"Hn."
"Okay, now what do I tell the girls..." Kurama began thinking of an excuse.
Hiei left Kurama to his own problems, and set out down the street. He headed towards the park, to his tree. :::This will be easy. I'll just cut my hair myself with my sword, how hard could it be?:::
Little did Hiei know that cutting your hair with a sword could be fatal...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TBC
How did you like it? Review if you want more! Sorry if it was a bit short and not too funny, but there will be more soon and the best has yet to come!
Hiei- I can't believe you're making me do this.
zennou-sakusha- Oh, just wait until you get a spirit beast! That's when the real fun starts!
Hiei- I can hardly wait. *is dreading what is in store for him*
For those who don't know Japanese here are some definitions:
Baka- stupid, idiot, moron.
Ningen- human
Kitsune- fox