I honestly wasn't planning on writing a second chapter... but... I decided to anyway...
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Sano liked not working. Especially when he got to watch other people work, because then he could laugh at them and say, "Ha ha! You're working and I'm not!" Actually, he didn't really say that because then Kaoru and Yahiko would hit him with something hard, and he didn't like things that were painful (most of the time). So he just thought it as he sat and watched the others toil like little ants, only a lot bigger and less squish-able.
In fact, Sano not-worked so much that it became a spectator sport (with him being the spectator, of course), and there were some events that were his favorite. His favorite event of all was watching Kenshin hang the laundry on the clothesline, and his favorite vantage point was behind the red-haired swordsman, and his favorite part was when Kenshin bent over. Oh yeah, shake that bad little ass, Kenshin.
He had just finished silently applauding another excellent performance by Kenshin when something quite inexplicable happened. Actually, it was quite inexplicable to him, but we know exactly what's going on because we read the previous chapter, we're so smart. Actually, Sano could've probably figured out what was going on if he had a few more brain cells to call his own. Oh well, we love him anyways, right?
But I digress...
Anyway, suddenly Kenshin gasped and staggered forward, his arms reaching out for something to hold on to. However, since there was nothing to grab, he ended up falling faster than a pair of underwear on prom night. He wiggled for a bit, like a frog that's been run over by a lawnmower (that happened to me today), then lay still. Naturally, this bizarre but hilarious routine made Sano more suspicious than an NRA member on a triple-shot of espresso. It had only been a week since "The Incident," as it was referred by, so he immediately suspected that Kenshin had just been mentally hijacked.
Sano quickly looked around for either Kaoru or Yahiko. To his annoyance, they both had decided to disappear at that precise moment, possibly for a quick tryst, the sick little bastards. Looked like he was going to fly solo, as a... emu... flies.... solo... Damn, it's hard to come up with these similes! Anyway, he returned his gaze to Kenshin, who had sat up and was rubbing his head. "Oi, Kenshin... you okay?" he asked cautiously.
Kenshin slowly turned too look at Sano, and a (altogether now) very wide, very disturbing grin spread across his face. A feeling of dread grew in Sano as the grin got wider and wider. He knew that grin, which hovered on the edge of insanity like a little kid teetering on the edge of a diving board but too afraid to jump in. Unlike the metaphorical kid, however, this grin was not at all afraid of the deep end. Sano had prayed that he'd never see that grin again. Literally prayed. And he wasn't even religious.
Fuck. Sano jumped to his feet, ready to sprint in case Kenshin-et-al made a break for it. His whole body was like a rubber band pulled tight, ready to be shot at the back of an unsuspecting classmate's head. Okay, he thought, where are you going to go? The front gate? Around the dojo? Where?
Naturally, the jinxed wanderer bolted in the last direction Sano expected - straight at him. With a giddy battle-cry of, "SanoSanoSanoSanoSanoSanoSanoooo!!!" Not-Kenshin leaped at the stunned fighter and in the next instant Sanosuke was on the ground with the redheaded ballistic missile planted firmly on his chest. "Hiya Sano! Didja miss me?!" s/he squealed. "I wanted to find out if you laid Kenshin yet! So didja? Didja didja didja?!"
A little out of breath from having a hundred-odd pounds suddenly added to his chest, Sano could only cough for a bit, but apparently that was enough of an answer.
"Oooh, I'm saaad... No butt-sex for Kenshin, the poor sod." Possessed-Kenshin leaned forward and rested his/her chin on both his/her fists. Naturally, this shift in weight made it even harder for Sano to breathe. "You know, I can hear all of Kenshin's thoughts." S/he tapped the side of his/her head with one finger. "He's got it baaad for you, you know. Seriously. I can't see why you two don't spontaneously make out every time you're alone together - hey!"
Sanosuke suddenly snatched the spiritually shanghaied swordsman's slender wrists and, exerting every iota of strength, wrenched him/her off his chest. After a few moments of scuffling like two grade-school boys fighting over a pack of Poke`mon cards (She-Kenshin even yelled "I want Pikachu!" at one point for no apparent reason), he somehow managed to get the screeching ex-assassin into a headlock. Ignoring the constant kicking, scratching, and cussing spewing from his captive, Sano turned and hollered, "OI!! YAHIKO!! JOU-CHAN!! I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP ABOUT NOW!!"
Like flies drawn to a big pile of fresh cow plop, the two summoned characters appeared. As soon as she saw the two men, Kaoru cried with typical ultra-feminine distress, "Sanosuke! What are you doing to Kenshin?!"
"Not... Kenshin..." Sano grunted, trying his hardest to hold on to him/her, but it was proving to be more difficult than holding a greased-up lemur with its tail on fire. "Dammit, help me! I can't hold him much longer!"
"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT FOOL!! I'M TOO HOT TO HANDLE, WHAT?!!" Kenshin-that-wasn't screamed ghetto-liciously as s/he continued to writhe in Sano's grasp. Yahiko and Kaoru immediately joined in on the effort to subdue the deranged redhead, but instead s/he increased his/her fight tenfold. S/he howled, twisted, and scratched just like a feline at the vet's who has just seen what they use to take pets' temperatures, except this cat was five feet tall and weighed a hundred pounds.
Apparently s/he bit just like a cat too, because suddenly Kaoru yelped and jumped back, saying, "She bit me! That little bitch just bit me!!" while holding out her arm, which was adorned with a perfect half-circle of tooth marks.
To this day it isn't known which surprised the others more - that Kaoru was bitten or (gasp!) she actually swore - but in any case, it provided enough of a distraction for Kenshin-who-wasn't to break away from their grasp and sprint across the yard, leaping nimbly up to the high branches of a tree like a spider monkey on crack. Looking down at the exasperated trio, s/he stuck out his/her tongue, turned around, and smacked his/her butt. "Kiss my ass, yo! Can't touch this! Mwah-hah-hah!" S/he cackled so evilly it would have sent chills down Dracula's spine.
"Shit," Sano cursed, craning his head to look up at his quarry. Now how were they going to get that thing out of Kenshin? Moreover, how were they going to him/her down? Maybe if they tried to tempt him/her with something... "Oi, you..."
"They call me Mister Tibbs!"
"All right, Mister Tibbs - "
"Naw, I'm just joshing ya. Call me Zoot! That's not my real name, by the way, so don't try any of that exorcism shit on me."
"Okay Zoot, tell you what. If you come down, then I'll give you..." Sano trailed off uncertainly. What did deranged spirits want?
"Butt-sex!" Kenshin/Zoot offered.
"NO!" Kaoru denied vehemently.
"Okay," Sano said at the same time.
Kaoru gave Sano a look that said she couldn't quite decide between fainting dead away and ripping him to pieces with her bare hands, but she was clearly leaning strongly towards the dismemberment option. "Sanosuke! What are you saying?!"
"Come on, do you think I'm serious?" Sano whispered. "We just need to play along until he... she... whatever comes down." Of course, we know that he was serious, or at least wanted to be serious, but Kaoru didn't know.
Kenshin/Zoot was no longer listening to them. Instead his/her eyes misted over, and s/he stared majestically into space as if s/he could hear the singing of distant Canadian Mounties. "You know," s/he began in a deep, grand voice, "I never wanted to be a wanderer. I always wanted to be......... a lumberjack!!" S/he gestured regally, as if revealing vast forests surrounding him/her. "Living in the forests of British Columbia! Leaping from tree to tree! The cedar! The oak! The mighty elm! With my best girlie by my side, we'd sing... sing... sing..."
The three relatively normal people stared up in horror at the crazed swordsman. Where the hell did s/he get this stuff?
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!" Kenshin/Zoot sang. "I sleep all night and I work all day! I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lava-treeee!! On Wednesdays I go - aak!!" S/he dodged just in time to miss getting hit by a well-aimed rock thrown by Yahiko. "You little wanker!" S/he shouted as Yahiko stooped to pick up another stone. "You almost hit me!"
"Yeah, that's the idea," Yahiko retorted, and slung another rock at him/her. "Anything to get you to shut up." However, he had made a fatal miscalculation: as luck (or lack thereof) would have it, Kenshin/Zoot was in an oak tree.
Chittering like an enraged squirrel that has just been chased away from a birdfeeder, s/he let loose a vengeful hail of acorns, twigs, and good-sized pieces of bark. Kenshin/Zoot's victims tried to protect themselves from the environmentally friendly (but painful) rain, but eventually they were forced to make an undignified retreat. Unfortunately, s/he was able to throw very far. Finally, his/her aerial assault ceased, and after a minute or two Sano ventured back to the tree.
"Chkkchrrakkrrachkkchakkarrkkchkkrrrchakkk!!!" Kenshin/Zoot chattered angrily in disturbingly accurate imitation of a rabid rodent, though this time there was no volley of half-ripe nuts. Instead, s/he turned and disappeared over the side of the outer wall.
Uttering a stream of oaths, a disturbing number of which involving the word "fuck," Sano bolted for the gate with Kaoru and Yahiko close behind. Unfortunately, the commandeered wanderer was nowhere to be seen. "Okay, split up! Yahiko, you head towards the river; Jou-chan, get Doctor Gensai and Megumi to help; I'll check the forest behind the dojo," Sano ordered with uncharacteristic maturity and level-headedness.
The three split up faster than a disgruntled rock group on Behind the Music, each dashing towards their respective targets. Not slowing once, Sano hunted between the trees for several minutes, every fiber of his being intent on finding Kenshin/Zoot before s/he caused any damage. The thought of the deranged swordsman wreaking havoc made Sano shudder; the only thing that could cause more damage that he could possibly think of was a giant mutated lizard with fire breath that rose out of Tokyo Bay and started trashing the entire city. But that wasn't ever going to happen, was it?
He had just come up with a bitchin'-awesome name for this hypothetical behemoth - "Gojira" - when suddenly a chain of events took place that was very similar to a mouse getting caught in a trap; Sano was the mouse, and the red-haired projectile that pounced on him from a tree branch was the metal bar that snaps down and breaks the mouse's back. A snapped spine, however, would have probably been a more merciful fate for Sano because instead Kenshin/Zoot knocked him onto the forest floor and began to smother him in wet kisses like your fat Great-aunt Martha at a family reunion.
Giggling, s/he finally sat up and said, "Ha ha! I found you! I win!"
For a moment Sano forgot that for the second time that day he was flat on his back with someone sitting on his chest. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, indignant. "I was the one looking for you!"
Kenshin/Zoot stuck his/her tongue out and blew a raspberry, which somehow ended with him/her licking Sano on the neck. "Details, details! Butt-sex now?"
"No!"
"Oooh..." Kenshin/Zoot whined like a sad (and horny) puppy. "Why not? I know you wanna."
Sano struggled to find a legitimate reason. It was like trying to find a good reason to chop off one's own hand and replace it with the hand of a lemur. "Because..."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
Sano could see where this conversation was headed, and he countered with his own question. "Why the hell are you so anxious for me and Kenshin to... do that thing, anyway?"
Kenshin/Zoot sighed heavily, as if s/he was really tired of people asking that question all the time when the answer was so obvious. "Because I'm a perverted little girl with no social life and whose only source of entertainment is fantasizing about her favorite characters having homosexual relationships. Duh!"
Sighing as well as he could with someone perched on top of him, Sano rubbed the bridge of his nose with irritation. "Okay. Fine. If I have sex with Kenshin, do you promise to leave us alone and never come back?"
"Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh." Kenshin/Zoot nodded vigorously, a way-too-eager look in his/her grape-colored eyes.
"All right, but there's one condition: you have to go back to wherever the hell you came from before we go at it."
Though s/he may have been utterly insane, Kenshin/Zoot wasn't stupid. "Yeah right! How do I know that you're gonna get up and leave as soon as I'm gone?"
"Uh... Tell you what. If I don't do as I promise, you can come back and... and... and beat me to death with a rubber chicken," Sano conceded, recalling what s/he'd said in the previous chapter.
The thought of death-by-chicken cheered the shanghaied wanderer immensely. "Okie-dokie-pokie-lokie-wokie-wokie-wokie!!!" s/he cheeped. "I'm going bye-bye now!!"
Kenshin gasped, his face contorted into a grimace as a spasm of tremors wracked his body. He doubled over as if having severe gastrointestinal problems, his long red bangs grazing Sano's nose. Suddenly, the spasm stopped, and Kenshin looked up into Sano's double-chocolate-chip-colored eyes.
"You back, friend?" Sano asked.
Kenshin nodded.
"So you gonna get off of me now?"
"Hmm..." Kenshin looked thoughtful. "Hmm... no." He leaned forward and locked lips with Sano, who needless to say was pleasantly shocked to find that he would be fulfilling his part of the bargain in full after all.
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And, somewhere a million Aoshi-smiles away, a teenaged girl was cackling with glee. **cackle**
I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON'T YOU?! Hee hee hee!!! XD XD XD
PS -- If you really do have a fat Great-aunt Martha who dispenses very wet kisses, I am very, truly sorry; you have my deepest sympathy, friend.
And yes, I do know I have a disturbing preoccupation with monkeys, lemurs in particular. There just so fuzzy!! **huggles lemur**
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Sano liked not working. Especially when he got to watch other people work, because then he could laugh at them and say, "Ha ha! You're working and I'm not!" Actually, he didn't really say that because then Kaoru and Yahiko would hit him with something hard, and he didn't like things that were painful (most of the time). So he just thought it as he sat and watched the others toil like little ants, only a lot bigger and less squish-able.
In fact, Sano not-worked so much that it became a spectator sport (with him being the spectator, of course), and there were some events that were his favorite. His favorite event of all was watching Kenshin hang the laundry on the clothesline, and his favorite vantage point was behind the red-haired swordsman, and his favorite part was when Kenshin bent over. Oh yeah, shake that bad little ass, Kenshin.
He had just finished silently applauding another excellent performance by Kenshin when something quite inexplicable happened. Actually, it was quite inexplicable to him, but we know exactly what's going on because we read the previous chapter, we're so smart. Actually, Sano could've probably figured out what was going on if he had a few more brain cells to call his own. Oh well, we love him anyways, right?
But I digress...
Anyway, suddenly Kenshin gasped and staggered forward, his arms reaching out for something to hold on to. However, since there was nothing to grab, he ended up falling faster than a pair of underwear on prom night. He wiggled for a bit, like a frog that's been run over by a lawnmower (that happened to me today), then lay still. Naturally, this bizarre but hilarious routine made Sano more suspicious than an NRA member on a triple-shot of espresso. It had only been a week since "The Incident," as it was referred by, so he immediately suspected that Kenshin had just been mentally hijacked.
Sano quickly looked around for either Kaoru or Yahiko. To his annoyance, they both had decided to disappear at that precise moment, possibly for a quick tryst, the sick little bastards. Looked like he was going to fly solo, as a... emu... flies.... solo... Damn, it's hard to come up with these similes! Anyway, he returned his gaze to Kenshin, who had sat up and was rubbing his head. "Oi, Kenshin... you okay?" he asked cautiously.
Kenshin slowly turned too look at Sano, and a (altogether now) very wide, very disturbing grin spread across his face. A feeling of dread grew in Sano as the grin got wider and wider. He knew that grin, which hovered on the edge of insanity like a little kid teetering on the edge of a diving board but too afraid to jump in. Unlike the metaphorical kid, however, this grin was not at all afraid of the deep end. Sano had prayed that he'd never see that grin again. Literally prayed. And he wasn't even religious.
Fuck. Sano jumped to his feet, ready to sprint in case Kenshin-et-al made a break for it. His whole body was like a rubber band pulled tight, ready to be shot at the back of an unsuspecting classmate's head. Okay, he thought, where are you going to go? The front gate? Around the dojo? Where?
Naturally, the jinxed wanderer bolted in the last direction Sano expected - straight at him. With a giddy battle-cry of, "SanoSanoSanoSanoSanoSanoSanoooo!!!" Not-Kenshin leaped at the stunned fighter and in the next instant Sanosuke was on the ground with the redheaded ballistic missile planted firmly on his chest. "Hiya Sano! Didja miss me?!" s/he squealed. "I wanted to find out if you laid Kenshin yet! So didja? Didja didja didja?!"
A little out of breath from having a hundred-odd pounds suddenly added to his chest, Sano could only cough for a bit, but apparently that was enough of an answer.
"Oooh, I'm saaad... No butt-sex for Kenshin, the poor sod." Possessed-Kenshin leaned forward and rested his/her chin on both his/her fists. Naturally, this shift in weight made it even harder for Sano to breathe. "You know, I can hear all of Kenshin's thoughts." S/he tapped the side of his/her head with one finger. "He's got it baaad for you, you know. Seriously. I can't see why you two don't spontaneously make out every time you're alone together - hey!"
Sanosuke suddenly snatched the spiritually shanghaied swordsman's slender wrists and, exerting every iota of strength, wrenched him/her off his chest. After a few moments of scuffling like two grade-school boys fighting over a pack of Poke`mon cards (She-Kenshin even yelled "I want Pikachu!" at one point for no apparent reason), he somehow managed to get the screeching ex-assassin into a headlock. Ignoring the constant kicking, scratching, and cussing spewing from his captive, Sano turned and hollered, "OI!! YAHIKO!! JOU-CHAN!! I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP ABOUT NOW!!"
Like flies drawn to a big pile of fresh cow plop, the two summoned characters appeared. As soon as she saw the two men, Kaoru cried with typical ultra-feminine distress, "Sanosuke! What are you doing to Kenshin?!"
"Not... Kenshin..." Sano grunted, trying his hardest to hold on to him/her, but it was proving to be more difficult than holding a greased-up lemur with its tail on fire. "Dammit, help me! I can't hold him much longer!"
"YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT FOOL!! I'M TOO HOT TO HANDLE, WHAT?!!" Kenshin-that-wasn't screamed ghetto-liciously as s/he continued to writhe in Sano's grasp. Yahiko and Kaoru immediately joined in on the effort to subdue the deranged redhead, but instead s/he increased his/her fight tenfold. S/he howled, twisted, and scratched just like a feline at the vet's who has just seen what they use to take pets' temperatures, except this cat was five feet tall and weighed a hundred pounds.
Apparently s/he bit just like a cat too, because suddenly Kaoru yelped and jumped back, saying, "She bit me! That little bitch just bit me!!" while holding out her arm, which was adorned with a perfect half-circle of tooth marks.
To this day it isn't known which surprised the others more - that Kaoru was bitten or (gasp!) she actually swore - but in any case, it provided enough of a distraction for Kenshin-who-wasn't to break away from their grasp and sprint across the yard, leaping nimbly up to the high branches of a tree like a spider monkey on crack. Looking down at the exasperated trio, s/he stuck out his/her tongue, turned around, and smacked his/her butt. "Kiss my ass, yo! Can't touch this! Mwah-hah-hah!" S/he cackled so evilly it would have sent chills down Dracula's spine.
"Shit," Sano cursed, craning his head to look up at his quarry. Now how were they going to get that thing out of Kenshin? Moreover, how were they going to him/her down? Maybe if they tried to tempt him/her with something... "Oi, you..."
"They call me Mister Tibbs!"
"All right, Mister Tibbs - "
"Naw, I'm just joshing ya. Call me Zoot! That's not my real name, by the way, so don't try any of that exorcism shit on me."
"Okay Zoot, tell you what. If you come down, then I'll give you..." Sano trailed off uncertainly. What did deranged spirits want?
"Butt-sex!" Kenshin/Zoot offered.
"NO!" Kaoru denied vehemently.
"Okay," Sano said at the same time.
Kaoru gave Sano a look that said she couldn't quite decide between fainting dead away and ripping him to pieces with her bare hands, but she was clearly leaning strongly towards the dismemberment option. "Sanosuke! What are you saying?!"
"Come on, do you think I'm serious?" Sano whispered. "We just need to play along until he... she... whatever comes down." Of course, we know that he was serious, or at least wanted to be serious, but Kaoru didn't know.
Kenshin/Zoot was no longer listening to them. Instead his/her eyes misted over, and s/he stared majestically into space as if s/he could hear the singing of distant Canadian Mounties. "You know," s/he began in a deep, grand voice, "I never wanted to be a wanderer. I always wanted to be......... a lumberjack!!" S/he gestured regally, as if revealing vast forests surrounding him/her. "Living in the forests of British Columbia! Leaping from tree to tree! The cedar! The oak! The mighty elm! With my best girlie by my side, we'd sing... sing... sing..."
The three relatively normal people stared up in horror at the crazed swordsman. Where the hell did s/he get this stuff?
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!" Kenshin/Zoot sang. "I sleep all night and I work all day! I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lava-treeee!! On Wednesdays I go - aak!!" S/he dodged just in time to miss getting hit by a well-aimed rock thrown by Yahiko. "You little wanker!" S/he shouted as Yahiko stooped to pick up another stone. "You almost hit me!"
"Yeah, that's the idea," Yahiko retorted, and slung another rock at him/her. "Anything to get you to shut up." However, he had made a fatal miscalculation: as luck (or lack thereof) would have it, Kenshin/Zoot was in an oak tree.
Chittering like an enraged squirrel that has just been chased away from a birdfeeder, s/he let loose a vengeful hail of acorns, twigs, and good-sized pieces of bark. Kenshin/Zoot's victims tried to protect themselves from the environmentally friendly (but painful) rain, but eventually they were forced to make an undignified retreat. Unfortunately, s/he was able to throw very far. Finally, his/her aerial assault ceased, and after a minute or two Sano ventured back to the tree.
"Chkkchrrakkrrachkkchakkarrkkchkkrrrchakkk!!!" Kenshin/Zoot chattered angrily in disturbingly accurate imitation of a rabid rodent, though this time there was no volley of half-ripe nuts. Instead, s/he turned and disappeared over the side of the outer wall.
Uttering a stream of oaths, a disturbing number of which involving the word "fuck," Sano bolted for the gate with Kaoru and Yahiko close behind. Unfortunately, the commandeered wanderer was nowhere to be seen. "Okay, split up! Yahiko, you head towards the river; Jou-chan, get Doctor Gensai and Megumi to help; I'll check the forest behind the dojo," Sano ordered with uncharacteristic maturity and level-headedness.
The three split up faster than a disgruntled rock group on Behind the Music, each dashing towards their respective targets. Not slowing once, Sano hunted between the trees for several minutes, every fiber of his being intent on finding Kenshin/Zoot before s/he caused any damage. The thought of the deranged swordsman wreaking havoc made Sano shudder; the only thing that could cause more damage that he could possibly think of was a giant mutated lizard with fire breath that rose out of Tokyo Bay and started trashing the entire city. But that wasn't ever going to happen, was it?
He had just come up with a bitchin'-awesome name for this hypothetical behemoth - "Gojira" - when suddenly a chain of events took place that was very similar to a mouse getting caught in a trap; Sano was the mouse, and the red-haired projectile that pounced on him from a tree branch was the metal bar that snaps down and breaks the mouse's back. A snapped spine, however, would have probably been a more merciful fate for Sano because instead Kenshin/Zoot knocked him onto the forest floor and began to smother him in wet kisses like your fat Great-aunt Martha at a family reunion.
Giggling, s/he finally sat up and said, "Ha ha! I found you! I win!"
For a moment Sano forgot that for the second time that day he was flat on his back with someone sitting on his chest. "What are you talking about?" he demanded, indignant. "I was the one looking for you!"
Kenshin/Zoot stuck his/her tongue out and blew a raspberry, which somehow ended with him/her licking Sano on the neck. "Details, details! Butt-sex now?"
"No!"
"Oooh..." Kenshin/Zoot whined like a sad (and horny) puppy. "Why not? I know you wanna."
Sano struggled to find a legitimate reason. It was like trying to find a good reason to chop off one's own hand and replace it with the hand of a lemur. "Because..."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
Sano could see where this conversation was headed, and he countered with his own question. "Why the hell are you so anxious for me and Kenshin to... do that thing, anyway?"
Kenshin/Zoot sighed heavily, as if s/he was really tired of people asking that question all the time when the answer was so obvious. "Because I'm a perverted little girl with no social life and whose only source of entertainment is fantasizing about her favorite characters having homosexual relationships. Duh!"
Sighing as well as he could with someone perched on top of him, Sano rubbed the bridge of his nose with irritation. "Okay. Fine. If I have sex with Kenshin, do you promise to leave us alone and never come back?"
"Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh." Kenshin/Zoot nodded vigorously, a way-too-eager look in his/her grape-colored eyes.
"All right, but there's one condition: you have to go back to wherever the hell you came from before we go at it."
Though s/he may have been utterly insane, Kenshin/Zoot wasn't stupid. "Yeah right! How do I know that you're gonna get up and leave as soon as I'm gone?"
"Uh... Tell you what. If I don't do as I promise, you can come back and... and... and beat me to death with a rubber chicken," Sano conceded, recalling what s/he'd said in the previous chapter.
The thought of death-by-chicken cheered the shanghaied wanderer immensely. "Okie-dokie-pokie-lokie-wokie-wokie-wokie!!!" s/he cheeped. "I'm going bye-bye now!!"
Kenshin gasped, his face contorted into a grimace as a spasm of tremors wracked his body. He doubled over as if having severe gastrointestinal problems, his long red bangs grazing Sano's nose. Suddenly, the spasm stopped, and Kenshin looked up into Sano's double-chocolate-chip-colored eyes.
"You back, friend?" Sano asked.
Kenshin nodded.
"So you gonna get off of me now?"
"Hmm..." Kenshin looked thoughtful. "Hmm... no." He leaned forward and locked lips with Sano, who needless to say was pleasantly shocked to find that he would be fulfilling his part of the bargain in full after all.
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And, somewhere a million Aoshi-smiles away, a teenaged girl was cackling with glee. **cackle**
I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON'T YOU?! Hee hee hee!!! XD XD XD
PS -- If you really do have a fat Great-aunt Martha who dispenses very wet kisses, I am very, truly sorry; you have my deepest sympathy, friend.
And yes, I do know I have a disturbing preoccupation with monkeys, lemurs in particular. There just so fuzzy!! **huggles lemur**