Chapter Fourteen: The Owls Have It Figured
The accusation Harry laid out there created a long, unsettling silence. Finally, Luna sighed and stared right at him. "Which lie are you asking about, Harry? There were a couple..."
He blinked twice. "Well, I was kinda viewing it as one big lie, but, if you want to get down to the specifics..."
She frowned for a second. "When did you first figure it out, that I lied that day?"
"It took me some time, actually. I had some suspicions, like I was being set up." Harry took a deep breath. "But when I knew for certain, it was when I found out there's no such thing as a Winodyr."
"If you had asked Hermione," Luna noted, aligning her nose just to the right of Harry, "she does have a hard time believing there's even such a thing as a Crumple-Horned Snorkack..."
"No. I asked Hagrid. Because he told me the Snorkacks are real, then I figured he'd know about Winodyrs too. He'd never heard of them. Snorkacks, yeah. Even nargles, he's known about them too. But the fact Winodyrs don't exist...that clinched it."
Luna sighed like she was a deflating balloon. "I didn't have time to find a creature that was real..."
"Why did you make them up?"
"Because Tonks told me about the Latitalisman." Luna looked right at Harry. "She told me and Ginny about it. That they were going to give you a chance to leave that house you call a prison. She was worried you weren't going to have anyone walk with you, that you'd go alone." She frowned. "It's never fun to go alone. Anywhere."
"She told you?"
"Tonks knew. That we were friends, since we were there at the Department of Mysteries. Ron and Hermione were going off to France, so they couldn't join you. She wanted to know if you had a girlfriend, or a friend, to go visit. Ginny gave it some thought, but she likes Dean. And I volunteered, as long as I could get to where you would be by Floo Powder."
Harry nodded. "That's why Tonks told me to go to Guildford. It was a little out of the way. And you seemed to know your way around Guildford too. And there was something else..."
"Like what?"
"When you told me goblins had a controlling interest in food courts everywhere. Then I realized there'd have been Gringotts ATCMs even at the malls closest to Little Whinging, because they'd need their bank services close by as well..."
Luna nodded. "Good one, Harry."
"And I had been wondering why we hadn't found your father, and why you weren't as concerned in finding him..."
"But I did say that to that Auror, that we needed to find him..."
Harry arched an eyebrow. "But that was a lie, wasn't it? Your father wasn't really there, was he?"
"No, he wasn't." She sighed. "Dad didn't even know I'd gone that day. Thought I was with Ginny." Luna frowned, worried. "You won't tell him, will you? He was really concerned about what had happened that day, all the terrible things the Dementors were doing everywhere. He worries a little too much about me, sometimes."
"Wasn't he worried about you going on the date?"
"No." Luna smiled. "He trusts you. You're the Boy Who Lived. He's got faith you would have protected me if anything bad happened..."
They both fell silent for a few minutes. Harry added, "There was one other thing. During the date, actually."
"What was that?" Luna whispered.
"Well, like the fact you know about the Ramones. If you knew about them, then I wondered how much else you knew about Muggle pop culture. You've had to have seen movies before, haven't you?"
Luna smiled, an almost guilty expression. "I have to declare that 'Rock 'n Roll High School' is the greatest movie of all time."
Harry chuckled, then stopped, frowning some more. "You set it all up. You and Ginny and Tonks. Sent me to Guildford, walked me by the cinema, Ginny's constant pressure, all of that."
"Yes. Mostly." Luna sighed, head lowered. "Except for the stuff Ginny kept doing, I didn't ask for that. I didn't even know half of those girls at the makeover party. Some of them are even the ones who take my possessions at year's end. Ginny just went...well, crazy about getting the date perfect for you. And I can recognize crazy behavior, Harry, you know that..."
"And the whole way you behaved and acted during the date, during the movie," Harry added, his voice choking ever so slightly. "You pretended not to know, and then you fell on me..."
"That was real," Luna answered, glancing up, her silvery gray eyes locking onto Harry's. "I didn't mean to lose my balance and I did. I was worried I'd hurt you."
They fell silent again. Then, Harry glared at her. "Why did you lie? Why did you have to do that?"
"I wasn't trying to be devious." Luna glanced down again. "I was trying to be clever."
"Why?"
"Because you'd have said 'No.'"
Harry took a step closer. "Why would you think I'd do that?"
"Because you did before. During the Yule Ball. All those girls went up and asked you, after making sure Hermione wasn't your date, that is. I was there when you turned down that one tall girl, and she was threatening to really hurt you if you had said no, I was amazed she never followed through on that. I couldn't ask you then..."
"Oh. All of that," Harry sighed, lowering his head. "Luna, the reason I turned all those girls down was because I was still working up my nerve to ask Cho out. It wasn't because I didn't like any of you, well, there was a Slytherin girl in the mix somewhere, there was no way I was going to go with her."
"Oh, I heard about that," Luna answered. "She was really doing it because she lost a bet. But Harry, I came to believe it was because you didn't like girls asking you."
"That's not how I am, Luna." Harry took another step closer. "I...I'm not too sure how I would have reacted if you asked. But at least it would have been more honest..."
"And I knew a bit that you fancied Cho, but Ginny told me when Tonks told us about your talisman, you had broken up with her. But I remembered too, about that Christmas training last year," Luna blinked once, glancing away before lowering her head a bit more. "The way you reacted being under the mistletoe. I was going to kiss you, but you jumped away. That made me so upset, so I mentioned the nargles that live in mistletoe, just so you wouldn't notice how hurt I was."
Harry heard something from Luna, something he hadn't heard from her before. She was crying, just ever so, a slight tear running down her cheek and worry lines all over her face. She tried lowering her head more, to let her hair hide what she was going through. "I suppose, I suppose you don't think well of me now," she whispered. "That I lied about everything and all..."
She hadn't noticed that Harry was close enough now to hug her, which he did, startling her enough to raise her head so they were face-to-face, and she could look into Harry's green eyes and didn't see any sign of anger. "What makes you say that?" Harry whispered. "I still went through with the date, didn't I?"
Luna didn't answer, just kept staring into eyes.
"Just answer me truthfully, Luna..."
"...Yes?..."
"Did you lie about you liking it when we kissed?"
"No." Her voice felt so breathless. "That was the truth."
And then Harry leaned his head down ever so slightly and kissed her on the cheek where her tear was, tasting it on the edge of his lips. Then he leaned his head back, and waited.
Luna took a moment to smile that warm smile of hers, and turned her head to one side, pressing her ear against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. They stood like that for a time that Harry didn't measure, and didn't care to.
"Luna," he finally whispered, "can you promise me you'll never lie to me again, will you?"
Luna sighed, sliding her head up, craning her neck so they could see each other. "Sorry, Harry. I'm too smart to know I can never promise anything like that." She smiled. "All I can promise, Harry, is that I will never hurt you."
"I promise I won't hurt you either," Harry answered.
"Good enough for now," she sighed, then leaned over to look past Harry. "Would it be alright if I said hello now to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?"
Harry let go of Luna to swing about, and realized that the Weasley parents were standing there, both grinning, at the kitchen window. He spotted some movement from the upper windows and saw Ron and Hermione both leaning out of Ron's window with big grins on them as well.
"Oh, hey, Harry, don't mind us!" Ron shouted. "We'd just sent a note to Colin Creevey, see if he can get his camera over here, can you wait for a few minutes?!"
"Ron, don't say that!" Hermione pushed him, but gently, knowing the situation. "We're happy for you Harry, don't feel embarrassed!"
"It's all the yelling that's embarrassing," Harry muttered under his breath.
"Perhaps we should move closer then, so they won't have to yell," Luna answered. Together, arms wrapped around each other, they walked toward the Weasley abode.
As they got closer, they saw Ginny swing the front door open as swiftly as possible. "What?! Did I miss something??? NO! I missed it!"
"You didn't miss much," Ron shouted down to her. "Just them hugging and...what's that word, Hermione?"
"Snogging, Ron, honestly, haven't you looked through that dictionary ever?"
"Augh! They kissed!" Ginny kicked the ground. "Dammit!"
"Virginia!"
"Sorry, mum, but seriously, I missed it!..."
Harry sighed. "Ready for breakfast?"
"Already ate some fruit at home," Luna answered dreamily, "but I'd be thrilled to have a cinnamon bun if they've got any in the oven..."
The return back to 4 Privet Drive went well. Harry finally came out of the Floo Network into Mrs. Figg's living room without a hitch. Shaking off the soot from his clothes, he glanced over to the sofa, where only one cat, a skittish Calico named Tehya, sat with wide terrified eyes.
"Oh, lighten up," Harry smiled at the cat. "Life is good."
The other cats had been on patrol, Mrs. Figg's orders, partly because she was worried "that old meanie You-Know-Who" might try something soon, which Harry didn't feel was going to happen, at least not for this weekend. Mrs. Figg also wanted to keep an eye out for "that young meanie" Aunt Petunia, who was on the prowl for a rather dangerous Ford Anglia.
Speaking of the Anglia, Hagrid had shown up as breakfast was served, ready to take the car back to the Forbidden Forest. Arthur Weasley couldn't really keep it, being a rather illegal magical piece of altered Muggle engineering, and it had nowhere else to go, really, where it could feel at home.
"Don't feel too bad abert it," Hagrid smiled, "I've be'n thinkin' Grawp might like a pet of 'is own anywho."
Harry swore it was the first time he'd ever seen a car shudder in fear.
Harry walked back with a five-cat escort, which he shooed away before getting too close, making sure Aunt Petunia didn't connect the clues and realize a cat lover like Mrs. Figg was the undercover spy. Dudley was on the front lawn arguing with Piers for the first time Harry had ever seen, apparently about someone that Piers disagreed with but whom Dudley "fancied too much." They both glowered at Harry, but he didn't care.
The reception indoors went as well as Harry expected. Uncle Vernon accused Harry of being out getting drunk all night with his 'twisted' friends, and that nine months from now that "thin waif of a twit will be at the door with another bloody mouth to feed." Aunt Petunia wailed a lot about catching Harry in his bedroom with a girl, which also set off Uncle Vernon to give more threats of more long-winded lectures. Harry didn't notice much of that, either.
Harry spent most of Saturday afternoon catching up on some more schoolwork, figuring Hermione was bound to send owl post insisting he keep up with her and Ron. Indeed, just before supper time (which for Dursleys was six o'clock proper and Harry usually whenever table scraps were left behind) an owl tapped on the window. However, it was an owl Harry had never seen before.
He was half the size of Hedwig, a dark coal-color coat with white spots on the wings. He fluttered onto Harry's desk, hooted something that sounded like "wood," then lifted his leg to reveal the note. Harry removed it, opening it to find Luna's handwriting:
Harry Potter:
The Boreal owl before you is named Zenger. He works for my father as our house owl. If you ever see a long-eared owl delivering my notes, that will be Bly, she'll be from the Quibbler office.
I just wanted to tell you that we're going to Sweden tomorrow...
Harry stopped reading the note for a moment. He watched Zenger and Hedwig bob and weave at each other, wondering if this was a way owls greeted each other. He continued reading:
...Dad had just gotten confirmation on where we're going, and a good-sized staff to go with us. The Rare Creatures expert from that country had to finish off a lot of paperwork, and just gave us short notice that we needed to go now. We won't have much time to work before the Crumple-Horned Snorkack retreat to where wizards can't go. One of the beauties of the creature, Harry, how it travels, how it lives. It will be remarkable to actually see them, even one if we can!
Please write often. Ginny is insisting I write letters every day, and that you do as well. But I am patient. I can wait a week between letters. Ginny is also wondering why I'm not drawing heart shapes everywhere. But I'm not the artist that she is.
It would be nice to bring you with us, but companionship for the expedition is limited due to environment preservation rules. Plus, Mrs. Weasley said you couldn't go because 'home is home' for you, whatever that means.
I would like to say 'Love you' about fifty times right now, but that would be silly. I'll just do it five times, for now. Love you.
Love you.
Love you
Love you.
Love you.
Signed,
Luna Lovegood
Ravenclaw
P.S. Why not? One more Love you
Harry smiled, placed the letter flat on the desk, and pressed his forehead against the paper. He lifted his head, found himself a clean sheet of scroll paper, and started writing.
Dear Luna:
Sweden should be fun for you and your father. Wish him well for me.
I'm sending Hedwig to find you, so it'll be fair for her to figure out how best to find you when I send you letters. Hope Zenger won't mind.
I would like to see you again very soon. Please tell me when you'll get back.
I love you. There. I wrote it. I'll be writing it a lot more often too, just have to make sure I don't write it in my homework. If Snape sees anything like that in my Potions notes, he'll expel me for certain.
I love you. I can write that in Latin as well. Amo te. Or maybe Te amo. No, it's the second one, the verb concludes everything in Latin. Te amo, Luna.
I will write you before next week. Promise.
Signed,
Harry Potter
Boyfriend
P.S. I need to learn 'Love you' in Elvish, just to be fancy about it.
Harry smiled, folding the letter and then opening Hedwig's cage. "Hey, I don't know if you can find her, but the person getting this letter is Luna Lovegood."
The snowy owl hooted at Harry, slightly offended that he wouldn't trust her ability to find anyone, anywhere, to deliver the message. She lifted her leg to receive the note, then pecked playfully at Harry's thumb once he secured it. Zenger hopped to the end of the table and flapped over to the window ledge, waiting perhaps to escort Hedwig into whichever direction led straight to Luna.
"So you know your way?"
Hedwig clicked-clacked at Harry, as if to say 'I always know my way,' before flapping over to sit next to Zenger. They hopped up and down a bit more, as an owl dance of sorts, before Zenger flapped his wings and flitted into the late sunset sky. Hedwig quickly followed, and the two owls skirted the rooftops of the surrounding houses before heading north.
Harry sighed, went back to work on his schoolwork, and hummed that piano tune he had heard last night. He didn't notice the big grin on his face that seemed to stay there well into the night when he went to sleep. All he really noticed, in some respects, was that this was the happiest he had been in years.
Just as long as he got an owl post back within a week, that is.
THIS CONCLUDES 'HARRY POTTER AND THE AWKWARD DATE'
THANKS AND RECOGNITIONS
There's a handful of people who helped a lot in getting this story completed.
As always, many thanks to J.K. Rowling for doing such an excellent job of writing an enjoyable, readable series of fantasy books, with additional thanks to her publishers and solicitors for not hunting me down with a BFD (Big Effing Dragon).
Also a big note of thanks to the director and producers of the movie 'Empire Records' for not noticing that I've used their movie as a backdrop to the goings-on in this story. Director is Allan Moyle; Producers are Paul Kurta, Tony Ludwig, Arnon Milchan, Michael Mathanson, and Alan Riche; Screenwriter is Carol Heikkinen.
Now, a big mention to Dave305 and Rashaka on Fanfiction.net, who both emailed me at roughly the same time asking why I hadn't finished Chapter 5 at some point. What had happened was a severe case of writer's block had hit me: I was stuck on how to describe exactly how Snape and Uncle Vernon would confront each other. So I was stuck there...for about three months? Maybe four. When Dave and Rashaka emailed me to hurry along, it gave me impetus to just get done with it. I still think the confrontation could have gone better, but still, it allowed me to get over that hump and finish up the story. Many thanks to Dave305 and Rashaka (insert genuflecting here)!!!
Dave305 has also been helpful in checking grammar and plot errors, such as pointing out owls don't eat seed, that Bagman was indebted to the twins not the other way around, that Voldemort should be You-Know-Who at all times, and that mentioning the Ramones is always a good thing.
Rashaka had also been valuable in introducing me to Fiction Alley, where I made contact with other HP fanfic writers, and was able to ask for volunteers to submit OC (original characters) for the makeover party sequence in Chapter 8.
Also a quick shout-out to Nyermen, whom it turns out is familiar with the car parks in Guildford and that the bottom levels always flood out.
As for the Fiction Alley cast and crew, I mentioned them at the end of Chapter 8 but would like to do so again.
Polaris provided Dorothy Stilesmore, Hufflepuff.
Kjrsten provided Madeleine Vance, Ravenclaw.
KittenOfDoom provided Alyssa Myers, Slytherin.
Wildmage provided Chris(tina), Gryffindor.
Miss Kitty provided Kari Tsukino, Gryffindor.
Detailed authors' notes were removed by suggestion from a fellow submitting fanfiction.net writer. If anyone wants to read it, hopefully I can send a private file copy to you via O-mail. Send an owl to me at [email protected] for a copy.
COMING SOON:
'Dolores Umbridge Versus the Crimson Permanent Assurance'
(just kidding)
The accusation Harry laid out there created a long, unsettling silence. Finally, Luna sighed and stared right at him. "Which lie are you asking about, Harry? There were a couple..."
He blinked twice. "Well, I was kinda viewing it as one big lie, but, if you want to get down to the specifics..."
She frowned for a second. "When did you first figure it out, that I lied that day?"
"It took me some time, actually. I had some suspicions, like I was being set up." Harry took a deep breath. "But when I knew for certain, it was when I found out there's no such thing as a Winodyr."
"If you had asked Hermione," Luna noted, aligning her nose just to the right of Harry, "she does have a hard time believing there's even such a thing as a Crumple-Horned Snorkack..."
"No. I asked Hagrid. Because he told me the Snorkacks are real, then I figured he'd know about Winodyrs too. He'd never heard of them. Snorkacks, yeah. Even nargles, he's known about them too. But the fact Winodyrs don't exist...that clinched it."
Luna sighed like she was a deflating balloon. "I didn't have time to find a creature that was real..."
"Why did you make them up?"
"Because Tonks told me about the Latitalisman." Luna looked right at Harry. "She told me and Ginny about it. That they were going to give you a chance to leave that house you call a prison. She was worried you weren't going to have anyone walk with you, that you'd go alone." She frowned. "It's never fun to go alone. Anywhere."
"She told you?"
"Tonks knew. That we were friends, since we were there at the Department of Mysteries. Ron and Hermione were going off to France, so they couldn't join you. She wanted to know if you had a girlfriend, or a friend, to go visit. Ginny gave it some thought, but she likes Dean. And I volunteered, as long as I could get to where you would be by Floo Powder."
Harry nodded. "That's why Tonks told me to go to Guildford. It was a little out of the way. And you seemed to know your way around Guildford too. And there was something else..."
"Like what?"
"When you told me goblins had a controlling interest in food courts everywhere. Then I realized there'd have been Gringotts ATCMs even at the malls closest to Little Whinging, because they'd need their bank services close by as well..."
Luna nodded. "Good one, Harry."
"And I had been wondering why we hadn't found your father, and why you weren't as concerned in finding him..."
"But I did say that to that Auror, that we needed to find him..."
Harry arched an eyebrow. "But that was a lie, wasn't it? Your father wasn't really there, was he?"
"No, he wasn't." She sighed. "Dad didn't even know I'd gone that day. Thought I was with Ginny." Luna frowned, worried. "You won't tell him, will you? He was really concerned about what had happened that day, all the terrible things the Dementors were doing everywhere. He worries a little too much about me, sometimes."
"Wasn't he worried about you going on the date?"
"No." Luna smiled. "He trusts you. You're the Boy Who Lived. He's got faith you would have protected me if anything bad happened..."
They both fell silent for a few minutes. Harry added, "There was one other thing. During the date, actually."
"What was that?" Luna whispered.
"Well, like the fact you know about the Ramones. If you knew about them, then I wondered how much else you knew about Muggle pop culture. You've had to have seen movies before, haven't you?"
Luna smiled, an almost guilty expression. "I have to declare that 'Rock 'n Roll High School' is the greatest movie of all time."
Harry chuckled, then stopped, frowning some more. "You set it all up. You and Ginny and Tonks. Sent me to Guildford, walked me by the cinema, Ginny's constant pressure, all of that."
"Yes. Mostly." Luna sighed, head lowered. "Except for the stuff Ginny kept doing, I didn't ask for that. I didn't even know half of those girls at the makeover party. Some of them are even the ones who take my possessions at year's end. Ginny just went...well, crazy about getting the date perfect for you. And I can recognize crazy behavior, Harry, you know that..."
"And the whole way you behaved and acted during the date, during the movie," Harry added, his voice choking ever so slightly. "You pretended not to know, and then you fell on me..."
"That was real," Luna answered, glancing up, her silvery gray eyes locking onto Harry's. "I didn't mean to lose my balance and I did. I was worried I'd hurt you."
They fell silent again. Then, Harry glared at her. "Why did you lie? Why did you have to do that?"
"I wasn't trying to be devious." Luna glanced down again. "I was trying to be clever."
"Why?"
"Because you'd have said 'No.'"
Harry took a step closer. "Why would you think I'd do that?"
"Because you did before. During the Yule Ball. All those girls went up and asked you, after making sure Hermione wasn't your date, that is. I was there when you turned down that one tall girl, and she was threatening to really hurt you if you had said no, I was amazed she never followed through on that. I couldn't ask you then..."
"Oh. All of that," Harry sighed, lowering his head. "Luna, the reason I turned all those girls down was because I was still working up my nerve to ask Cho out. It wasn't because I didn't like any of you, well, there was a Slytherin girl in the mix somewhere, there was no way I was going to go with her."
"Oh, I heard about that," Luna answered. "She was really doing it because she lost a bet. But Harry, I came to believe it was because you didn't like girls asking you."
"That's not how I am, Luna." Harry took another step closer. "I...I'm not too sure how I would have reacted if you asked. But at least it would have been more honest..."
"And I knew a bit that you fancied Cho, but Ginny told me when Tonks told us about your talisman, you had broken up with her. But I remembered too, about that Christmas training last year," Luna blinked once, glancing away before lowering her head a bit more. "The way you reacted being under the mistletoe. I was going to kiss you, but you jumped away. That made me so upset, so I mentioned the nargles that live in mistletoe, just so you wouldn't notice how hurt I was."
Harry heard something from Luna, something he hadn't heard from her before. She was crying, just ever so, a slight tear running down her cheek and worry lines all over her face. She tried lowering her head more, to let her hair hide what she was going through. "I suppose, I suppose you don't think well of me now," she whispered. "That I lied about everything and all..."
She hadn't noticed that Harry was close enough now to hug her, which he did, startling her enough to raise her head so they were face-to-face, and she could look into Harry's green eyes and didn't see any sign of anger. "What makes you say that?" Harry whispered. "I still went through with the date, didn't I?"
Luna didn't answer, just kept staring into eyes.
"Just answer me truthfully, Luna..."
"...Yes?..."
"Did you lie about you liking it when we kissed?"
"No." Her voice felt so breathless. "That was the truth."
And then Harry leaned his head down ever so slightly and kissed her on the cheek where her tear was, tasting it on the edge of his lips. Then he leaned his head back, and waited.
Luna took a moment to smile that warm smile of hers, and turned her head to one side, pressing her ear against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. They stood like that for a time that Harry didn't measure, and didn't care to.
"Luna," he finally whispered, "can you promise me you'll never lie to me again, will you?"
Luna sighed, sliding her head up, craning her neck so they could see each other. "Sorry, Harry. I'm too smart to know I can never promise anything like that." She smiled. "All I can promise, Harry, is that I will never hurt you."
"I promise I won't hurt you either," Harry answered.
"Good enough for now," she sighed, then leaned over to look past Harry. "Would it be alright if I said hello now to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?"
Harry let go of Luna to swing about, and realized that the Weasley parents were standing there, both grinning, at the kitchen window. He spotted some movement from the upper windows and saw Ron and Hermione both leaning out of Ron's window with big grins on them as well.
"Oh, hey, Harry, don't mind us!" Ron shouted. "We'd just sent a note to Colin Creevey, see if he can get his camera over here, can you wait for a few minutes?!"
"Ron, don't say that!" Hermione pushed him, but gently, knowing the situation. "We're happy for you Harry, don't feel embarrassed!"
"It's all the yelling that's embarrassing," Harry muttered under his breath.
"Perhaps we should move closer then, so they won't have to yell," Luna answered. Together, arms wrapped around each other, they walked toward the Weasley abode.
As they got closer, they saw Ginny swing the front door open as swiftly as possible. "What?! Did I miss something??? NO! I missed it!"
"You didn't miss much," Ron shouted down to her. "Just them hugging and...what's that word, Hermione?"
"Snogging, Ron, honestly, haven't you looked through that dictionary ever?"
"Augh! They kissed!" Ginny kicked the ground. "Dammit!"
"Virginia!"
"Sorry, mum, but seriously, I missed it!..."
Harry sighed. "Ready for breakfast?"
"Already ate some fruit at home," Luna answered dreamily, "but I'd be thrilled to have a cinnamon bun if they've got any in the oven..."
The return back to 4 Privet Drive went well. Harry finally came out of the Floo Network into Mrs. Figg's living room without a hitch. Shaking off the soot from his clothes, he glanced over to the sofa, where only one cat, a skittish Calico named Tehya, sat with wide terrified eyes.
"Oh, lighten up," Harry smiled at the cat. "Life is good."
The other cats had been on patrol, Mrs. Figg's orders, partly because she was worried "that old meanie You-Know-Who" might try something soon, which Harry didn't feel was going to happen, at least not for this weekend. Mrs. Figg also wanted to keep an eye out for "that young meanie" Aunt Petunia, who was on the prowl for a rather dangerous Ford Anglia.
Speaking of the Anglia, Hagrid had shown up as breakfast was served, ready to take the car back to the Forbidden Forest. Arthur Weasley couldn't really keep it, being a rather illegal magical piece of altered Muggle engineering, and it had nowhere else to go, really, where it could feel at home.
"Don't feel too bad abert it," Hagrid smiled, "I've be'n thinkin' Grawp might like a pet of 'is own anywho."
Harry swore it was the first time he'd ever seen a car shudder in fear.
Harry walked back with a five-cat escort, which he shooed away before getting too close, making sure Aunt Petunia didn't connect the clues and realize a cat lover like Mrs. Figg was the undercover spy. Dudley was on the front lawn arguing with Piers for the first time Harry had ever seen, apparently about someone that Piers disagreed with but whom Dudley "fancied too much." They both glowered at Harry, but he didn't care.
The reception indoors went as well as Harry expected. Uncle Vernon accused Harry of being out getting drunk all night with his 'twisted' friends, and that nine months from now that "thin waif of a twit will be at the door with another bloody mouth to feed." Aunt Petunia wailed a lot about catching Harry in his bedroom with a girl, which also set off Uncle Vernon to give more threats of more long-winded lectures. Harry didn't notice much of that, either.
Harry spent most of Saturday afternoon catching up on some more schoolwork, figuring Hermione was bound to send owl post insisting he keep up with her and Ron. Indeed, just before supper time (which for Dursleys was six o'clock proper and Harry usually whenever table scraps were left behind) an owl tapped on the window. However, it was an owl Harry had never seen before.
He was half the size of Hedwig, a dark coal-color coat with white spots on the wings. He fluttered onto Harry's desk, hooted something that sounded like "wood," then lifted his leg to reveal the note. Harry removed it, opening it to find Luna's handwriting:
Harry Potter:
The Boreal owl before you is named Zenger. He works for my father as our house owl. If you ever see a long-eared owl delivering my notes, that will be Bly, she'll be from the Quibbler office.
I just wanted to tell you that we're going to Sweden tomorrow...
Harry stopped reading the note for a moment. He watched Zenger and Hedwig bob and weave at each other, wondering if this was a way owls greeted each other. He continued reading:
...Dad had just gotten confirmation on where we're going, and a good-sized staff to go with us. The Rare Creatures expert from that country had to finish off a lot of paperwork, and just gave us short notice that we needed to go now. We won't have much time to work before the Crumple-Horned Snorkack retreat to where wizards can't go. One of the beauties of the creature, Harry, how it travels, how it lives. It will be remarkable to actually see them, even one if we can!
Please write often. Ginny is insisting I write letters every day, and that you do as well. But I am patient. I can wait a week between letters. Ginny is also wondering why I'm not drawing heart shapes everywhere. But I'm not the artist that she is.
It would be nice to bring you with us, but companionship for the expedition is limited due to environment preservation rules. Plus, Mrs. Weasley said you couldn't go because 'home is home' for you, whatever that means.
I would like to say 'Love you' about fifty times right now, but that would be silly. I'll just do it five times, for now. Love you.
Love you.
Love you
Love you.
Love you.
Signed,
Luna Lovegood
Ravenclaw
P.S. Why not? One more Love you
Harry smiled, placed the letter flat on the desk, and pressed his forehead against the paper. He lifted his head, found himself a clean sheet of scroll paper, and started writing.
Dear Luna:
Sweden should be fun for you and your father. Wish him well for me.
I'm sending Hedwig to find you, so it'll be fair for her to figure out how best to find you when I send you letters. Hope Zenger won't mind.
I would like to see you again very soon. Please tell me when you'll get back.
I love you. There. I wrote it. I'll be writing it a lot more often too, just have to make sure I don't write it in my homework. If Snape sees anything like that in my Potions notes, he'll expel me for certain.
I love you. I can write that in Latin as well. Amo te. Or maybe Te amo. No, it's the second one, the verb concludes everything in Latin. Te amo, Luna.
I will write you before next week. Promise.
Signed,
Harry Potter
Boyfriend
P.S. I need to learn 'Love you' in Elvish, just to be fancy about it.
Harry smiled, folding the letter and then opening Hedwig's cage. "Hey, I don't know if you can find her, but the person getting this letter is Luna Lovegood."
The snowy owl hooted at Harry, slightly offended that he wouldn't trust her ability to find anyone, anywhere, to deliver the message. She lifted her leg to receive the note, then pecked playfully at Harry's thumb once he secured it. Zenger hopped to the end of the table and flapped over to the window ledge, waiting perhaps to escort Hedwig into whichever direction led straight to Luna.
"So you know your way?"
Hedwig clicked-clacked at Harry, as if to say 'I always know my way,' before flapping over to sit next to Zenger. They hopped up and down a bit more, as an owl dance of sorts, before Zenger flapped his wings and flitted into the late sunset sky. Hedwig quickly followed, and the two owls skirted the rooftops of the surrounding houses before heading north.
Harry sighed, went back to work on his schoolwork, and hummed that piano tune he had heard last night. He didn't notice the big grin on his face that seemed to stay there well into the night when he went to sleep. All he really noticed, in some respects, was that this was the happiest he had been in years.
Just as long as he got an owl post back within a week, that is.
THIS CONCLUDES 'HARRY POTTER AND THE AWKWARD DATE'
THANKS AND RECOGNITIONS
There's a handful of people who helped a lot in getting this story completed.
As always, many thanks to J.K. Rowling for doing such an excellent job of writing an enjoyable, readable series of fantasy books, with additional thanks to her publishers and solicitors for not hunting me down with a BFD (Big Effing Dragon).
Also a big note of thanks to the director and producers of the movie 'Empire Records' for not noticing that I've used their movie as a backdrop to the goings-on in this story. Director is Allan Moyle; Producers are Paul Kurta, Tony Ludwig, Arnon Milchan, Michael Mathanson, and Alan Riche; Screenwriter is Carol Heikkinen.
Now, a big mention to Dave305 and Rashaka on Fanfiction.net, who both emailed me at roughly the same time asking why I hadn't finished Chapter 5 at some point. What had happened was a severe case of writer's block had hit me: I was stuck on how to describe exactly how Snape and Uncle Vernon would confront each other. So I was stuck there...for about three months? Maybe four. When Dave and Rashaka emailed me to hurry along, it gave me impetus to just get done with it. I still think the confrontation could have gone better, but still, it allowed me to get over that hump and finish up the story. Many thanks to Dave305 and Rashaka (insert genuflecting here)!!!
Dave305 has also been helpful in checking grammar and plot errors, such as pointing out owls don't eat seed, that Bagman was indebted to the twins not the other way around, that Voldemort should be You-Know-Who at all times, and that mentioning the Ramones is always a good thing.
Rashaka had also been valuable in introducing me to Fiction Alley, where I made contact with other HP fanfic writers, and was able to ask for volunteers to submit OC (original characters) for the makeover party sequence in Chapter 8.
Also a quick shout-out to Nyermen, whom it turns out is familiar with the car parks in Guildford and that the bottom levels always flood out.
As for the Fiction Alley cast and crew, I mentioned them at the end of Chapter 8 but would like to do so again.
Polaris provided Dorothy Stilesmore, Hufflepuff.
Kjrsten provided Madeleine Vance, Ravenclaw.
KittenOfDoom provided Alyssa Myers, Slytherin.
Wildmage provided Chris(tina), Gryffindor.
Miss Kitty provided Kari Tsukino, Gryffindor.
Detailed authors' notes were removed by suggestion from a fellow submitting fanfiction.net writer. If anyone wants to read it, hopefully I can send a private file copy to you via O-mail. Send an owl to me at [email protected] for a copy.
COMING SOON:
'Dolores Umbridge Versus the Crimson Permanent Assurance'
(just kidding)