**Note:  To to the people at FFNet, I finally fixed the formatting problem and this should be much much easier to read.  ^_^  The only thing I can't figure out is how to get the darn things centered.  Thank you to Neo-chan for pointing it out to me, I hadn't known it uploaded like that.

I didn't really notice either since I posted this fic and all it's chapters at Fandomination.net and mediaminer.org and the formatting was fine there.  So sorry!**

Hello everyone and welcome to my first publicized fic! This is a TAITO fic and it contains a lot of angst. A certain Linkin Park song played on repeat will do that to anyone! If you haven't already guessed, this is a song fic (or partial one anyway) done around the Linkin Park song "Numb". I just thought it fit.

It's rated "R" for a reason people! Mostly all the angst and...err...other stuff. Of which I don't want to say because it'll give away the ending. There's also a lot of Sap/Fluff/Lime, whatever you want to call it, but no lemons! I don't think I'm ready to write a lemon since this would be the first Yaoi fic I've written.

Summary: Taichi has a secret...

**DISCLAIMER** I do not own Digimon the series or the characters. But since I am God in this fic, I'm borrowing them and their fate rests in my hands. The fic is mine. This is nonprofit, I am not making any money off of this. And similarities to actual events, people, or other fics is all purely coincidental and was not done intentionally. If you would like to copy this fic and use it (only for non-profit purposes) please contact me. DO NOT STEAL.

Key:

*** indicates a scene from the past or a remembrance. Pretty much the whole fic takes place in one day with remembrances from a few days ago.

********** indicates time passing. I'll say how long in the fic.

//italics\\ indicates a past conversation. This rule gets thrown out in Chapter 2 though.

'italics' indicates thought from either Taichi and Yamato.

Italics and centered will be the song lyrics.

It's pretty easy to follow, but the Point of views jump. You'll know when they do though.  Btw: sorry about the formatting problem!  I fixed it.  ^_^

Ok enough long intros and now onto the story!

Numb

by: Bird of Fire

Chapter One: Betrayal

// "Jyou, I need your help with something serious buddy...Please?" Jyou sighed, seeing the obvious distress in his digi-destined friend's eyes.

"Anything Taichi, what's wrong?"

"You have to promise me you won't tell anyone. Not our friends, not the doctors or teachers, not Hikari, and not Yamato. Especially not Yamato until I'm ready, ok?" Jyou started to worry.

"If it's that important to you then you have my word."

"Thank you Jyou. I need you to do a blood test for me..." \\

                                                                                 ***

Taichi was laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling as he thought about today's events. It was dusk, the sun setting trying to ease some of the brown-eyed boy's pain and not succeeding. 'Who knew that my life, the one I've lived for 18 years, could be destroyed in a period of five days? ' Blinking, Taichi stared at his worn reflection in the mirror positioned above his door. In this position, Taichi's entire bed was captured in the mirror's reflection. Yamato had talked him into putting it up. // "You can finally see that monster hair of yours (and I swear it's flesh-eating) that I have to put up with in its truest form as soon as you wake in the morning! Or, at least, it could serve as a nice visual on one of my 'visits'..." \\ Yamato had said, laughing as Taichi punched him the arm.

"Yamato..."

Taichi closed his eyes, fighting the fresh tears that threatened to spill onto his already tear-stained cheeks. 'No, not again, I may not be able to stop this time...' He thought, tears slipping out from under his eyelids as he turned his head and sobbed into his pillow.

                                                                                 ***

At home, an obviously troubled Yamato walked over to the couch and heavily sat down, all of today's burdens replaying in his head offering no relief soon.

"Oh Taichi, why didn't you tell me sooner? Did you know all along? Why and how could you endanger my life like that also? I'm young, a musical genius! I don't deserve this!" Yamato angrily punched the pillow.

'And Taichi deserves this? You saw his worry, his sorrow, he didn't do it on purpose! ' His mind patronized him.

"Yeah, well, he still should have told me sooner."

'So you could what? Run out on the love of your life sooner? You claim to love this boy but in his one moment of need you abandon him. How do you think he feels?  He doesn't even know for sure yet and you still ran out on him. ' his mind spat at him angrily.

"Shut up." Yamato told his own mind lamely, knowing in his heart that it was true. But Yamato's own hurt had turned him away, turned him into a coward. He didn't deserve Tai. Silent tears ran down his cheeks at the thought of his Koi. 'My beloved Taichi, I never did get to tell you how deeply I feel for you. Those three little words that betray my heart and store all of my emotions for you in one breath. I may never get the chance to say them now, never catch the happy glint of tears in your eyes, the soft stolen kisses that take my breath away. I may never see the love in your deep brown eyes, feel the light touch of your soft, unruly hair against my cheek as you sigh contently into my chest, My Koi. My Taichi. How could I have betrayed your trust...your love? How could I have abandoned you just when you needed me the most? Why did it have to end like this? '

Lost so deep in his thoughts, Yamato didn't even hear the slam of his door or notice the young blonde boy standing at the foyer.

"Hey Oniichan! You're home early! I thought you were spending the...night...at..." TK trailed off, noticing the distressed look in his brother's clear blue eyes. "Hey, what's wrong Yamato?!" TK rushed over and sat on the couch next to his oniichan.

"Ok Takeru, I've done something awful. I don't think Taichi will ever forgive me..." Yamato turned and cried on TK's shoulder. TK did his best to help his brother, offering what little comfort he could give. When Yamato's sobs subsided, he recalled to TK the events that shattered both his and Taichi's lives that very day...

                                                                                 ***

                                                                        To be continued...

That was evil. I know, I know, how could I end it there?? I didn't do it on purpose, it just felt like this chapter's ending and the new chapter's beginning! Being possessed at 3:00 am and writing and thinking about plot until 5:00 am does that to ya!

So what could have broken them apart like this? How do you think Yamato betrayed Taichi's trust? Why did Taichi ask Jyou to do a blood test for him and why did he want to keep it a secret? Something to chew on until I finish the next chapter. ^_^

Anyway, since this is my first publicly posted fic, I'd be honoured if you could leave me some feedback on it. I'm not going to beg, but it would be nice if you could just drop me a few quick words of encouragement, praise, suggestions, thoughts, etc on my review page. It helps me going to write these things. To be honest I'm scared of what you guys might think! Pathetic huh? lol ^_^; Well keep checking back at my updates journal, look for the link in my profile, for info on how the next chapter is going! Kthnxbye!

Btw:  If anyone can tell me how to get the stuff centered I'd greatly appreciate it.  I'm using Microsoft word and saving it at an htm document.  So everything is ok except the things I have centered and the html tags don't work for it.  THANKS!  Right now I'm just spacing everything.