So my choice is 'Or Death?' * = definition/explanation/etc at end of chapter

~ Do you like…bread? ~ = thoughts

Chapter 4

"Sev?" queried Saerry as she rapped her knuckles against the thick oaken door that lead into her elder brother's apartment.  "Sev, are you alright?"

Nothing answered her query and she was beginning to get worried.  She could barely remember her childhood (bits and pieces of it were slowly trickling back) but she knew enough that her brother had never slept late in his life.  To get no answer from the man she knew was a sometime insomniac and had hearing to rival her own wolfen, it was very worrisome.

"Sev!  Sev, open the damn door!"  She slammed her fist against the wood now, not caring if she woke the Slytherin's just down the corridor.

As her fist came down for a sixth knock, the sound of locks being turned caused her to pause.  When the door opened a crack, she let her hand fall to her side and peered into the room through the crack.  A bleary black eye stared back at her and she frowned.

"Sev?"

"What do you want?" came her brother's voice, rough and not at all like himself.

Saerry frowned and replied, "I wanted to know that you were okay.  I re…you're generally up by now."

"Owe it to several bad dreams," grumbled Severus as he swung the door wide, revealing himself to be barefoot and wrapped tightly in a blood red blanket trimmed in silver.  "Anything else you were hammering on my door about at 6:45 in the morning?"

"I was wondering if you were coming to breakfast."

Severus' face paled and he looked as thought he might be sick.  But he quickly got a hold of himself and said quickly, "Not today.  I'm sorry, Saer…"

"No," said Saerry, shaking her head.  "Its okay.  I'll just go find Remus."

As she turned to head out of the dungeons, Severus snarled, "If he tries anything, I'll kill him."

"Oh, come on, Sev," whined Saerry, halting to turn and frown at him.  "I'm a full-grown woman, not to mention a werewolf.  I can take care of myself."  With that she turned and left, leaving Severus to stand alone in his doorway.  He stared after her for a long moment before he said anything.

"He is a werewolf too," he stated under his breath.  "And you may be a woman but you are my sister and I shall not lose you again.  I swear it."  With that, he tugged the blanket more tightly about his shoulders and vanished back into his apartment

* * * * * *

"Morning, Remy," said Saerry cheerfully as she sat down next to the slightly gray-haired man at the Head Table.  He blinked at her owlishly as she began heaping food onto her plate.

"Good morning, Saerry," he said back amiably, looking a little nervous.

Saerry waggled her fork at him and poked, "Oh, c'mon, Remy.  Don't be scared."

Remus frowned at her for a moment before he spoke in his usual calm voice.

"It's not that I'm scared, Saerry.  Its just – you…you are very strange."

"Why do you say that?"

"You…you're so comfortable with…"  Remus paused and shifted uncomfortably here.  "So comfortable with being – being what we are.  I don't see how…"

Saerry smiled gently and reached out to place her slender hand over his.  Warmth spread through her at the touch and her toes tingled in her shoes.

"I wasn't raised as you were.  You, Remy, you were raised as a wizard – and wizards don't like werewolves.  They think of them as sub-human, like house-elves.  You probably thought you would never have friends.  Hell, you probably thought you'd never make it out of school."

Remus nodded slowly.  He had indeed thought those things.

Saerry smiled and continued, "But me – me, Remy, I was raised in the wild.  I had werewolves all around me and not a human or a wizard for miles.  We never had to fear being caught, killed, disgraced, or cast out.  We were a pack.  We were family.  True family.  We stood together and fought together and bled together and died together."  She shrugged slightly and finished, "That's the way the packs have always been."

"But you – you accept the wolf.  How?"

Saerry smiled and looked into the gentle gray eyes.

"The wolf is as much a part of us – the Bitten – as it is with the Born.  To accept the wolf is to get rid of a little of the pain during transformation.  It helps a little in the afterwards too."  She smiled and squeezed his hand gently.  "I can sense the pain you continually go through.  Its not worth fighting, Remy.  Accepting the wolf won't make you lose your humanity.  It'll make you more human if anything."

"I can't believe that.  Not…not after so long."  Remus turned his face away from her and she smiled.

"I know its hard.  It was hard for me too in the beginning.  But I accepted it.  And it got better.  You can't fight what you are, Remy.  The wolf is you, as much as the human.  Don't let one overshadow the other.  Balance them.  Those in the pack who don't, don't survive long."

Remus gave her a frown of confusion.  "We aren't in a pack," he said.

Saerry arched an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly to the left.

"Aren't we?" she asked.  "Doesn't everyone here depend on someone else?  Does not the Headmaster depend upon the professors to keep order?  Do the students not depend upon their friends?"

"Yes, but I don't see…"

"That," interrupted Saerry, "is a pack.  It is depending upon each other to get things done.  The Houses' depend upon the members within to stand together.  Is that not family?  And is not family a pack?"

"I suppose…"

"It is," insisted Saerry, squeezing his hand again.

"Then what are you in this…pack?"

"Me?"

"Yes."

Saerry smiled and replied, "I'm the outsider, the loner, the new face in the pack.  Just like years ago, I'm being tested out to see if they can let me in.  Maybe they will, maybe they won't.  At least here I won't get torn limb from limb if they won't let me in."

Remus smiled gently and placed his other hand over hers.  Leaning close, he whispered, "Don't be so sure."

Saerry shivered as his breath tickled her cheek and trickled across her skin.  Merlin help her, he made her feel like no one else ever had.

Her eyes widened and she and Remus disengaged their hands, turning back to their respective breakfasts, small talk transferring between them from then on.  None of it being of werewolves.

~ By the First Born, ~ she thought with a vague since of horror as they drifted into the topic of Remus' classes.  ~ I am not falling for him, am I? ~

* * * * * *

"Oh no," groaned Harry as Professor McGonagall handed him his, Ron, and Hermione's schedules.

"Whot?" asked Ron around a mouthful of eggs.  Hermione cast the ginger-haired boy an askance look then peered over Harry's shoulder at the schedule.

"Oh dear…"

"What?" asked Ron again, this time with his mouth clear.

"We have Defense first," said Harry.

Ron blinked and stated, "Hey, that's a good thing."

The dark-haired boy lifted his eyes to look at his friend and added, "Potions is second."

"Oh bloody hell!"

"Five points from Gryffindor, Mister Weasley!" snapped McGonagall from down the table.

"Bugger," grumbled Ron, attempting to hunch down behind Seamus.  But being the tallest in your class had some bad points.  One of them being you did not have the ability to hide behind anyone.

"Oh dear," said Hermione as she took her schedule from Harry.

Ron moaned, "What now?"

"It's double Potions."

There was a sharp thunk! as Ron's head hit the table top.

"Thank you ever so much, Hermione."

"Well," snipped Hermione, "its not as if I like Potions.  Snape is such a – a – urgh."

"Don't believe I've ever heard that one before," said Harry with a smile.

Hermione glared at him and he just shrugged and smiled in response.  The bushy-haired girl then cried, "Professor Lupin!"

Harry turned about in his seat and greeted the graying professor with a broad smile.  Remus returned it brightly and said, "Hello, Harry, Hermione, Ron.  I believe I have all of you first, correct?"

"Yeah," grumbled Ron.

"What's wrong with him?" asked a soft voice from Remus' side.  Harry and Hermione turned their eyes there and blinked when they saw Saerry standing there, her arm looped through Remus'.  She blinked her dark brown eyes at them then at Ron then looked at the man beside her in confusion.

"Double Potions is second," explained Hermione after a moment.

"Oh," said Saerry with a small frown.  "I see."

Remus nodded and patted Harry's shoulder.  Both he, Saerry, and Hermione noted the fact that he tried to jerk away.  "Good luck then," said the werewolf reassuringly, brows furrowed as he put the notation of that movement to the back of his mind.  "I'll see the three of you in class."

"Goodbye, sir," mumbled Harry sheepishly, inwardly cursing himself for his jumpiness and his uncle for doing this to him.

"Goodbye, professor," echoed Hermione, followed by Ron.  The bushy-haired girl arched her eyebrows at Harry, who shook his head and picked up his fork again.

Hermione sighed and went back to her own meal.  Ron had not even noticed what had gone on.

* * * * * *

"That was very strange," remarked Saerry as she and Remus left the Great Hall.

"Indeed," said Remus, a frown upon his lean features.  "I don't understand why Harry would flinch…"

Saerry frowned and looked up at the man beside her.

"Beatings?" she inquired.  She was slightly surprised when her query prompted a dark look from him.

"I wouldn't put it past his relatives," growled Remus, a ring of amber glowing faintly around his iris' for a moment before it faded away.  He then shook and smiled amiably at her before asking "Would you like to sit in on my classes today?  I have a two hour period to myself after lunch.  Perhaps I could teach you some of the things you've missed, not having come to Hogwarts."

Saerry smiled up at him warmly and said, "I'd like that."

Remus grinned.  "That's settled then.  You do have a wand, don't you?"

"Of course.  Sev and I went to get it a week before the term started."  She gave a proud little smile and proclaimed, "I've been practicing."

"Really?" said Remus, wondering what spells the dour Potions Master had his unlearned sister doing.  "What sort of spells?"

"A few I remember Sev doing when I was little.  I had a mishap and repainted a classroom in pink and green polka dots."  Saerry smiled sheepishly and continued, "Professor Flitwick…I mean, Hayden, has been teaching me a few charms as well."

"Would you perhaps like to give a few Defense spells a try?"

"Of course!" exclaimed Saerry, eyes bright behind the silver streaked dark hair that had fallen over her eyes.

Remus chuckled and said, "You remind me of your brother.  Always ready to learn."

Saerry smiled proudly at that comment.  "I have much to learn and so little time to do so.  You giving me help would be much appreciated, Remy."

Remus smiled and nodded before looking away for a moment.  When he looked back, it was with a vaguely haunted look in his gray eyes.

"And," he began, "perhaps – perhaps you can help me…accept the wolf."

Saerry squeezed his arm gently and smiled as their eyes met.

"I would love to, Remy."

* * * * * *

Saerry watched eagerly as the fifth year Gryffindors entered the Defense classroom.  Her eyes wandered over each of them before they lingered upon Harry and his two friends as they entered.  The dark orbs stayed there for a few moments before they bounced over to Remus.  Heat grew in her face as Remus turned at her stare and smiled at her.  She looked away and felt blush creeping up her neck.  Oh the First Born help her, she was falling for him!

Remus continued smiling as he looked away from Saerry and to his class.  "Hello, again," he said.  "Have you all been having fun while I was gone?"

"No!" chorused the entire class, most especially the Terrible Trio.

"Welcome back, Professor Lupin!" chorused Dean and Seamus.

"Yes, welcome back!" cried Parvati.

"Hear, hear!" called Harry, Hermione, and Ron in unison.

Remus grinned broadly at the welcome and said, "Well then.  Let's get started, shall we?  And if anyone is wondering, Miss Snape shall be sitting on a few of my classes.  Don't mind her, she's just visiting and won't drag you off to the dungeons to add to one of Professor Snape's potions."

A few students chuckled nervously then did so louder as Saerry herself laughed softly.

"Now then," said Remus, clapping his hands together.  "Get out your books and turn to page thirty-two…"

* * * *

"Potions is canceled!"

"Yes!" crowed Ron.  "My wish has finally come true!"

"That's weird," said Harry.  "Snape's never missed a class."

"You sound disappointed," grumbled Ron.

Harry blinked and exclaimed, "No!  Just wondering why Snape would cancel Potions.  He's never done that before."

"Let's just get out of here before he changes his mind," muttered Hermione.

The two boys looked at each other and hurried away from the Potions classroom, leaving Hermione to jog after them.

"Hey!  Slow down!"

Hermione frowned at both of them as she huffed, "I've got shorter legs than the both of you!"

"Maybe you'll hit a growth spurt like Harry here," quipped Ron, grinning at his friend.

"I doubt it.  What did you two think of Miss Snape?"

"She's pretty," replied Ron.  "Hard to believe she's Snape's sister."

"Not everyone has a sibling resembles them, Ron," said Harry.

"I knew that!"

Hermione just shook her head and looked skeptically at Harry, who grinned at her.